In Episode 4, it’s looking like this isn’t just a phase but more like a rewiring.

What started back in September 2025 has continued. Somewhere between treadmill workouts and Charlie Kirk debates, my attention stopped drifting… and started locking in. Dating apps lost their shine. Reality dating TV stopped working. And suddenly I’m consuming leadership decisions, global crises, and cultural fault lines like they actually affect my nervous system. (Because they do.)

In this one, I talk about walking away from daily social media posting for the first time in many months – a five-day social fast. About how meaningful content isn’t lighthearted — and how speaking for those with no voice has weight no one prepares you for.

The “Meet Joshua” segment returns. We crack open Bible translation landmines and land hard on one commandment most of us were taught wrong: “Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain.” Turns out it’s not just about what you say when you stub your toe. It’s far more than that.

That realization collides head-on with dating, labels, religious titles, and why I’m increasingly cautious about calling myself anything at all.

I also share a personal story — one I don’t tell lightly — that still stands as evidence I can’t dismiss. Not doctrine. Not theory. Experience.

In Episode 3, I continue tracing what’s been happening to me since September 2025, when my attention snapped to the topics that Charlie Kirk debated, and my inner world suddenly started undergoing renovation. Now, I’m testing “church experiences” for something that feels real for me, not only an inspiring movie theater experience. I’m also noticing the weirdest plot twist: I used to treat politics like a bad smell in the room… and now I’m doomscrolling government decisions like it’s oxygen. Who even am I?

We swipe through saved Charlie clips – yes, “swiping” because that word reminds me how I’ve been rethinking dating, the timing of sexual intimacy, and what it means to aim for something more meaningful without turning into a cold-hearted religious robot.

And then we enter the “Meet Joshua” segment: The rabbit hole that starts with Bible translation issues and ends with me realizing how much meaning gets shaved off when ancient language gets forced into shortcuts.

Content note: this episode includes discussion of dating, marriage, divorce, Jesus, social-media hostility and keyboard warriors, to-do lists, sexual intimacy, and one or two fiery geopolitical news headlines.

Note: Episode 2 was recorded in November 2025 and today it becomes public. Welcome to the launch.

Charlie Kirk didn’t hand me answers. He detonated questions. About power. About courage. About whether Jesus came to evacuate souls out of earth – or install a new kind of government into it.

This second episode comes two months after Charlie’s murder, and since then something cracked open in me – a new operating system booted up. Call it Version 3.0. Same hardware, new way of thinking.

This isn’t a eulogy. It’s a wrestling match. With God. With grief. With the gospel as I inherited it versus the gospel I can no longer unsee. Charlie’s got me thinking these things.

I talk about why “good news” sold through fear – terror fear, not reverent awe – isn’t good news. Full stop. Why hell, fire, and judgment might be far more earthy (and far more urgent) than we were taught. Why Rome didn’t crucify Jesus for promising paradise after death, but for announcing a rival administration.

And then it gets uncomfortably practical.

Dating. Counseling before commitment. Time treated like currency, not confetti. A softened heart that somehow didn’t lose its spine. Compassion that showed up where anger used to sit. A strange new obsession with government, culture, and the decisions that quietly shape a nation while we’re busy scrolling cat videos.

This episode is about what happens when belief stops hiding in the chest and starts showing up in calendars, boundaries, human relationships, and courage.

No altar calls. No escape hatches. Just one relentless question echoing through it all:

What if the point was never leaving earth – but transforming it, doing the inner work first so what we build out there has roots?

Episode 1 was recorded 14 Oct 2025 and today it becomes public. Welcome to the launch.

This isn’t a tribute. It’s a reckoning.

This episode, titled Here I Am – Faith Without a Label, Politics Without a Party, is a raw, unfiltered braindump from the middle of one of the most history-shifting moments of this generation.

This episode is about what happens when one public murder ripples through the hearts of millions—and something ancient wakes up inside of our chests. Meaning suddenly shows up. When a life—and a murder—rearranges your schedule, your dating standards, your distaste for politics, and your silence about your faith in the first century miracle man. When a torch gets dropped in your hands and no one gives you instructions.

Tears that won’t stop. Church that doesn’t fit. Faith without labels. Politics without parties. And taking up the most bandwidth of this episode: a first-century idea of “church” that was never meant to be a building—it was meant to be a body that changes government and the world.

No talking points. No polished theology. Just one question echoing through the smoke:

Here I am. Now what do I do?