Ara tries to convince us that Bastion isn't doing anything new. PEN wants us to know how wrong we are. Yu Suzuki doesn't like games. Girls can't LAN.

Despite his desire for new gaming experiences, Alon insists on playing Infamous, which he finished playing last week when it was called Prototype. Ara rebuts Pen's hysterical ravings that he and Alon have lost their mojo. They also talk about why Catherine is mildy interesting and greatly mediocre.

Sonic the Hedgehog isn't getting any better, Sony continues to remove features from the PlayStation 3, and we tell you how to ease your kids into a life of carefree gaming.

Alon is back from his trip to Europe. He and caller, Pen, experience separate, but similar, realizations that they spent too much time playing games that weren't worthy of the attention received.

Dungeon crawlers. Too many Street Fighters. Permanent Resident Evil saves. Parents gonna hate. Scott vs SCOTUS.

Duke Nukem causes PR meltdown. The thin line reviewers walk. Guest and Unity code enthusiast, Trapper, talks UScript. Retro shmups. iPad games for 40 bucks.

Hands have mystery fat. Kinect is inferior tech. Wii U is the future. Prototype 2 makes us revisit the original. E3 surprises. Throat babies.

Playing co-op Portal 2 doesn't suck. Dirt 3 also doesn't suck. Even paying for Call of Duty Elite online services doesn't completely suck. Yet, somehow, in this world of endless positivity, GameStop finds a way to suck more than ever before.

Instruction manuals have disappeared, downloadable content is officially denying us of a full experience, and video game marketing has found a new trend (porn).

Ara argues that video games are the greatest teaching tools available and that Sony did nothing wrong in its handling of The Great PSN Breach of 2011.