Chatting With Chinadoll

As a psychiatrist, I have the privilege of sitting in the front row  as people from all walks of life entrust me with their deepest thoughts  and feelings. Their life stories provide me with a wealth of knowledge  that cannot be found in journals or textbooks.

Our achievement-oriented society diminishes the life of everyday  people by glamorizing the accumulation of wealth, fame, and power. It  elevates star athletes, successful entrepreneurs, and professionals with  titles next to their names, as if they are not flawed human beings who  experience struggles like the rest of us.

Yet, we have so much to learn from people we encounter in our daily  lives. Though painful, their slip-ups remind us of the landmines hidden  from plain sight. The cost of not paying close attention is needlessly repeating the same mistakes.

Their achievements also leave behind crumbs that can help you reach your own goals. Studying their success can provide you with a blueprint to achieve your desired goals.

Internet challenges can be fascinating to teens, who can be both impulsive and drawn to behavior that gets attention – especially in social media.

Some  social media challenges, like the ALS ice bucket challenge or the  mannequin challenge, can be fun and positive activities. But other  challenges that pop up on the internet are dangerous and can lead to  permanent harm.

You may have heard of social media trends like the Tide pod challenge, the choking game or "blackout" challenge, the cinnamon challenge or the salt and ice  challenge. Then there's the Benadryl challenge and another that involves  cooking chicken in NyQuil (the Sleepy Chicken challenge), which  prompted the U.S. Food & Drug Administration to warn against the dangers of medicine misuse.

On the day of my mother’s funeral, I remember sitting in the back  seat of our car, pulling into the parking lot where the service was  going to be held, and seeing two old friends of mine from elementary  school walking inside. I was 15 at the time. It had never occurred to me  that they would miss school to be there for me. This simple act of  support meant more to me than they will ever know.

Fast-forward about 20 or so years to the day my daughter got sent  home from school with head lice. My friend showed up at my door  unexpectedly and spent hours with me, helping to wash all the sheets and  clothing, and keeping me tethered in my then-frantic state. These acts  of kindness are indelible in my mind, and their power is immeasurable.

It turns out that the value of small and random acts of kindness is  greatly underestimated by the one doing the kind act, and in fact, the  person receiving the kindness is far more positively impacted than the  doer imagines. This was explored in a series of research studies  reported in the Journal of Experimental Psychology.  In one study, participants at an ice-skating rink who were given hot  chocolate had the opportunity to give away their cups to a stranger.  When asked to rate what they thought the impact of this would be on the  recipient, it turned out to be far lower than what the recipient  actually reported.

If you search Google on selfishness, the majority of entries will  tell you that you have to be selfish to look after yourself and to  succeed in life. You are ensuring that you are contributing to society  and not a burden. It is a sort of natural selfishness and is closely  related to our survival. It must take priority over helping others.  Pretty harmless, you might think…

Then you will find entries on what is termed ‘bad selfishness’ where  people exploit others, commit criminal acts to gain money or power by  means of fraud, dishonesty and violence. Very nasty, you might shudder…

I have given two rather extreme examples above, but have you thought  about more subtle ways in which you may have been selfish unknowingly?  Here are 10 examples of the way selfish people behave and without even realizing it.

https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/10-signs-youre-actually-very-selfish-though-you-havent-noticed.html

Being in the wellness industry, it's important for our brand to  support overall wellness, and that includes lots of self love. It's so  easy to compare your life to our friends, or even strangers on the  internet. We're a brand that encourages you to take care of yourself,  starting with a safe option for deodorant. Here are ways our author, Trevor McDonald, encourages more self love:

When we think of wellness, most of us think about things like diet  and exercise. The term, however, encompasses so much more than taking  care of our physical selves. If you want to be truly healthy, you must  create a healthy relationship with yourself. And it’s not as easy as it  sounds.

Loving and accepting yourself for who you are takes a lot of work.  It’s a process that involves a great deal of self-reflection. But this  work is essential if you want to thrive in other areas of your life.

Here are six tips to help you create a healthy relationship with yourself.

Another year; another Christmas around the corner.

The conversation around the watercooler these days has evolved into  the annual “where has the time gone?” discussion–how quickly the  neighborhood kids have become high school graduates; how our hot July  beach vacations seem like they were just yesterday; and how we haven’t  baked cookies or sent cards or bought gifts yet because time has just been flying by.

It’s become a common complaint–almost a joke–that time seems to whiz by faster and faster as we get older.

Of course, aging doesn’t grant us the power to disrupt the space-time continuum, so it’s not a real problem. But why do we perceive it to be?

Psychologist William James, in his 1890 text Principles of Psychology,  wrote that as we age, time seems to speed up because adulthood is  accompanied by fewer and fewer memorable events. When the passage of  time is measured by “firsts” (first kiss, first day of school, first  family vacation), the lack of new experiences in adulthood, James  morosely argues, causes “the days and weeks [to] smooth themselves  out…and the years grow hollow and collapse.”

If one day in the future you are visited by a powerful being and are  offered a single wish, what would it be? Mind you, it can be whatever  you want. This includes power, money, a special title, or anything else  you wish. And maybe ask yourself a question before making that wish:

“When I’m taking my last breath, can I look back and say that my life was good?”

Here’s a suggestion: Wish for the ability to adapt to change. That is a good wish.

Why is there so much emphasis on change? Why does change make such a  difference in the outcome of your life? Well, there is one rule we all  face. We cannot get away from it, and there is nothing we can do to  alter this rule. It’s the fact that life changes, and few things stay  the same.

While some things may not drastically change, change is inevitable.  We may live with our parents for years, we may spend a large portion of  our lives in a relationship, or we may find a fulfilling career that provides stability for decades. But change will still come.  Sometimes we can control these changes, but oftentimes we cannot. When  the change comes, it can be fast, sometimes difficult, and even  shocking.

There is good news. If we have that gift of adjusting to change, our  lives are good. This is because most, if not all of our suffering comes  from not dealing well with change. Here’s an example:

You need to realize that men are kind of like cats. Just hear me out.

Ever  see the variety of cat toys out there? They're shiny, sparkly,  colorful, some of them make noise (and all kinds of noises), shaped in  all kinds of ways, with various textures, sizes, and some are even meant  to stimulate different parts of a cat's brain.

When you dangle a  sparkly, plush fish with bells attached to its fringe, and make sure it  remains slightly out of reach, a cat will literally go crazy for it.  They jump around, chase, sprint, go full warp-speed and do pretty much  anything it can to to catch this "just out of reach" little plush fish.

Bizarrely,  guys are exactly the same when it comes to dating women. If you're fun,  exciting, playful, flirty, and constantly just out of reach, then he's  more likely to desire you and chase after you.

But don't worry — this is a phase that men grow out of once you're in a committed relationship, assuming he's actually boyfriend material.

Going  to the gym in and of itself doesn't make you fit. Eating right isn't  the only important factor for staying healthy either. You need to take a  holistic approach to ensure your overall well-being, including your  physical, mental, emotional, and social health.

High-value men  aren't looking exclusively for a skinny woman, gym bunny or nutritionist  who's obsessed with juice cleanses. However, studies show that both men  and women are naturally attracted to someone who appears to be healthy. So overall health should be a priority for you — regardless of whether you're looking for love.

I once read a quote that said, “Do not judge by appearances; a rich heart may be under a poor coat.” And I can’t emphasize it enough.

We are a society quick to judge the success of others based on  external appearances. But I can’t think of a more foolish metric to  utilize.

Some psychologists argue this is natural for humans. “Our unconscious mind starts from  whatever objective data is available to us—usually spotty—and helps to  shape and construct the more complete picture we consciously perceive.”

I suppose this makes sense to me. But here’s the problem:

We’re terrible at it! Like really, really bad.

In fact, in one study,  scientists asked students at a Chinese university to look at selfies  and evaluate the personalities of the people pictured in five key  personality characteristics. The students were wrong 80% of the time!

80% of the time they were unable to determine the personality or character of a person based solely on appearance.

Every moment of our lives, we have the option to either tell the  complete truth or make up a bold-faced lie. Lies can cover true  feelings, make it easier to get out of things we don’t want to do and  make us look better. They can also hurt not just the person that we tell  the lie to, but ourselves as well.  A big reason to not lie is to avoid  the downfall of getting caught. However, many will still wonder what  the most important aspects of telling the truth are.

What are the reasons why you should always tell the truth? You should always tell the truth because: