Healing before dating, nervous system regulation, and choosing alignment over chemistry — a conversation with Chelsko Nellie

🌱 Chelsko’s story didn’t start with coaching or clarity, it started with repetition. Back-to-back abusive relationships forced her to confront a hard truth: she wasn’t unlucky, she was unhealed. Instead of blaming partners, she turned inward and asked why her nervous system kept choosing the same dynamics in different bodies. That question became the doorway to solitude, self-honesty, and the deep work that would later shape her mission.

🌍 Through seasons of stepping away from dating, cutting off external validation, and traveling the world, Chelsko learned that attention can feel like love when you’ve been deprived of safety. She shares how choosing to be alone... truly alone... helped her break patterns rooted in abandonment, fear of intimacy, and the need to be chosen. What began as personal healing evolved into a blueprint she now teaches others: you don’t attract better by trying harder, you attract better by becoming regulated.

❤️ In this conversation, she opens up about faith, discipline, and why relationships don’t heal wounds, they expose them. She explains how many people feel “healed” in isolation, only to unravel once intimacy activates old trauma. Rather than running from that activation, Chelsko teaches how to prepare for it through nervous system regulation, boundaries, and consistent self-investment.

🧠 Together, we explore why trauma is often mistaken for chemistry, why chaos feels exciting while calm feels suspicious, and how modern overstimulation keeps people addicted to intensity instead of intimacy. From breathwork and exercise to solitude and sobriety from validation, this episode connects emotional healing to practical systems that support long-term alignment.

✨ What you’ll take from this episode:

• How unhealed patterns repeat until they’re addressed
• Why familiar chaos feels safer than unfamiliar peace
• The difference between chemistry and nervous system conditioning
• Why distance isn’t betrayal — it’s alignment
• How faith, values, and discipline stabilize relationships when emotions fluctuate

🛠️ Systems and practices discussed:

• Stepping away from dating to regulate your nervous system
• Journaling to separate feelings from facts
• Breathwork and somatic practices to release stored trauma
• Building routines that create psychological safety
• Evaluating values early instead of years into a relationship
• Using solitude to strengthen identity before intimacy

🌊 At its core, this episode reflects the Choose Yourself process : recognizing trigger points, evaluating your environment, building a foundation in solitude, investing in yourself consistently, and creating relationships from overflow instead of need. Chelsko’s story is a reminder that love doesn’t ask you to abandon yourself .. it asks you to meet yourself first.

🔥 If peace feels boring, you’re not healed, you’re conditioned and if you don’t choose yourself first, you’ll keep asking others to do it for you.

Grow With Me ⬇️

🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.) ❤️‍🩹 Choose Yourself, Heal Your Gut Webinar 🏝️ Costa Rica Retreat 📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen (book) 🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel