Like many eldest daughters, software executive Sheila Quarz shouldered a strong sense of family responsibility. In truth, it was likely too much. From a young age, she was seen as a mother figure to her siblings. She was the one staying home to care for them. She was the one told that their college education would be her responsibility. And her parentification only intensified when her father died unexpectedly, leaving her to temper bouts of family mental illness.

But Sheila knew she was entitled to her own journey. She travelled. She dove into rich friendships, and became a godmother several times over. Working for a global software company, she rose through the ranks to be one of the few women in her role.

It was only after divorce that Sheila came to realize she didn't need biological children in order to have a fulfilling life. But the decision only crystallized when she began dating again. So how did she end up marrying a man with two girls, who was looking for someone with children of their own? And as a proud stepmother and aunt, what do her friends make of her decision to be "childfree by choice"? With consideration and grace, Sheila is sharing that story.

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