There are three questions everyone, regardless of culture, economic status, or even religious conviction will ask themselves. Who am I? Where do I belong? And what am I supposed to do? Chip shares how you can find answers to those questions and then how to begin applying them in your life today.

Three questions we all ask ourselves:

1. Who am I? (Identity)
2. Where do I belong? (Security)
3. What am I supposed to do? (Significance)

Why is it so hard to answer these questions?

• Genesis 3:8-13

Three obstacles to getting right answers:

1. Fear rooted in SHAME.
2. Hiding rooted in INSECURITY.
3. Blaming rooted in denial.

God’s Answers: Romans 12:3-8

1. Who are you? -Romans 12:3
   • The Command: Think ACCURATELY about yourself.
2. Where do you belong? -Romans 12:4-5
   • The Reason: You have a ROLE to fill.
3. What are you supposed to do? -Romans 12:6-8
   • The Practice: Discover and DEPLOY your spiritual gift.

Never forget who you really are!

1. God uniquely created you – you are ETERNALLY VALUABLE. -Psalm139:13-14
2. God placed you in His family – you are UNCONDITIONALLY ACCEPTED. -Ephesians 3:19-22
3. God gifted you to fulfill His purpose – you are IRREPLACEABLY SIGNIFICANT. -Ephesians 2:10

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Would you like to get God’s best for your life? Chip continues in Romans 12, and reveals how you can get God’s best.

Negative Command: “Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world…”

• Passive voice
• Imperative
• Present tense

Translation: “Stop allowing yourselves to be molded by the influences and pressures of this present world system.”

Application: We are to be SEPARATE from the world’s values. -1 Jn. 2:15-17

Summary: The world’s system seeks to SEDUCE us from our love for Christ by PLEASURE, POSSESSIONS, and POSITION.

Positive Command: “…but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

• Passive voice
• Imperative
• Present tense

Translation: “But allow God to completely change your inward thinking and outward behavior by cooperating wholeheartedly moment-by-moment with the Spirit’s renewing process.”

Application: Are you shaped more by the WORLD or the WORD? -Mat. 4:4; 2 Cor. 3:18

The means of transformation: “…by the renewing of your mind.”

• Renewing your mind is a continual REFOCUS of a Romans 12:1 perspective.
• Renewing your mind will always involve a BATTLE.
• Renewing your mind is a SUPERNATURAL work of the Spirit.

Practical methods for “Renewing Your Mind”

1. HEARING God’s Word -Rom. 10:17
2. Use your TIME wisely. Be in the Word.
3. READ God’s Word -Rev. 1:3
4. STUDY God’s Word -2 Tim. 2:15
5. MEMORIZE God’s Word -Psa. 119:9,11
6. MEDITATE on God’s Word -Jos. 1:8

A tool for transformation: The “2PROAPT” Method

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What does God want from you? When you boil it all down, what is God looking for from you and me? Chip reveals the one thing that God is looking for from his children.

Introduction: “Risk, reason, and the decision-making process” –Excerpt from Harvard Business Review

Case Study #1 – John’s Civil War Coins

Case Study #2 – Sheila’s Picasso

Questions to ponder:

• What are the risks?
• What are the potential rewards?
• What would you do?
• Why?

Three Principles:

1. Truth – What is true about the issue?
2. Knowledge – Have you educated yourself about the issue?
3. Faith – Do you believe it to the point of action?

Case Study #3 – Ancient Treasure -Mat. 13:44-46

• Thesis – Total surrender is the CHANNEL through which God’s best and biggest blessings flow.
• Definition – “Total commitment is the alignment of one’s motives, resources, priorities, and goals to fulfill a specific mission, accomplish a specific task, or follow a specific person.” -Webster’s Dictionary
• Spiritual Insight – Through which lens do you view total commitment? Positive vs. Negative

The Problem: What does total commitment look like in our relationship with God? How does it work?

The Answer: Romans 12:1

The Command: “OFFER your bodies”

The Motivation: “The MERCY of God”

The Reason: “Spiritual act of WORSHIP.”

What does He want most?

1. He wants you!
2. All that you are and all that you have fully surrendered to Him.

Why surrender to His Lordship? -Ps. 84:11

• Because total surrender is the channel through which God’s best and biggest blessings flow.

The Question: Are you ALL IN?

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Becoming a Romans 12 Christian, is the keystone teaching of Living on the Edge. It is the heartbeat of all we do and what we are about. If you're just dipping your toe in the water of "spirituality," Chip will engage you. If you don't yet have saving faith in Jesus, Chip will help you know why your eternity rests on it. If you do, he will untangle some of the issues you still struggle with and spur you on to a deeper, more fulfilling, commitment.

5 Key Relationships:

1. Relationship with God: SURRENDERED to God -Romans 12:1
2. Relationship with the world: SEPARATE from the World -Romans 12:2
3. Relationship with yourself: SOBER in Self-Assessment -Romans 12:3-8
4. Relationship with believers: SERVING in Love -Romans 12:9-13
5. Relationship with nonbelievers: SUPERNATURALLY Responding to Evil with Good -Romans 12:14-21

Warning – Romans 12 is not a “try-hard” moral code to live up to, but a faith response to what God has already done for us.

• Romans 1-3: SIN - Our problem that separates us from God.
• Romans 4-5: SALVATION - God’s solution in the work of Jesus Christ on the cross.
• Romans 6-8: SANCTIFICATION - Living your new life in God’s power and growing progressively in Christ-likeness.
• Romans 9-11: SACRIFICE - Living in confidence because God is in control and keeps all His promises…

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One of the biggest sources of conflict in marriage revolves around money. In this message, Chip walks through how couples can biblically manage their finances and tackle debt issues in their marriage.

How to biblically manage your finances together:

I. The command – All our words and our actions are to be in Jesus’ name. -Colossians 3:17

II. The second most accurate mirrors of our hearts and lives

1. Our words -Luke 6:45
2. Our money -Matthew 6:19-21

III. A brief overview of biblical finances*

• God owns it all. -Psalm 50:12; James 1:17
• We are stewards, managers, trustees. -Luke 16:1-15
• We will give an account of our stewardship. -Matthew 25:14-30
• Money is powerful and deceptive. -Mark 4:18-19
• Money is the “other god.” -Matthew 6:24
• Giving is God’s antidote to greed and the dangers of idol worship. -1 Timothy 6:17-19
• Debt is dangerous and to be avoided. -Romans 13:8; Proverbs 22:7
• We are to be accurately aware of our financial condition. -Proverbs 27:23

*The Truth About Money by Russ Crosson, CEO of Ron Blue, Inc.

IV. There are only 5 uses of money

1. Giving
2. Taxes
3. Savings
4. Debt
5. Living

V. Financial freedom requires spending less than one’s income

VI. How to solve “money problems” in your marriage

1. It must begin with… “It’s our problem, we will solve it with God’s help.”
2. Assessment instead of blaming
3. Alignment of values and execution
4. Action

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How do you handle conflict? Are you a person who bursts out in anger or are you someone who completely shuts down? In this message, Chip explains why neither of those approaches work well and offers a third option to resolve conflict in marriage. Don't miss how you can radically transform your relationship!

How to resolve conflict peaceably:

I. The command – we are to deal with our mates as Christ deals with us. -Colossians 3:13-15

1. “Bear with one another” – cause of tension
2. “Forgiving one another” – hurt and/or offense
3. “Whoever has a complaint” – personalized, ongoing
4. “Just as the Lord forgave you” – required response
5. “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts” – let God be the umpire
6. “Called into one body” – priority of unity
7. “Be thankful” – focus on what we have, not what’s lacking

II. We all respond to “tension” positively or negatively.

III. How to “DIFFUSE” conflict in your marriage

D - DEFINE the problem on your own. -Proverbs 15:14 & 21:2

I - INITIATE a time to talk. -Matthew 5:23-24

F - FOCUS on the “perceived” problem, not the person. -Proverbs 18:19

F - FEEL their pain as though it were your own. -Proverbs 17:17

U - UNCOVER the root problem. -Proverbs 20:5

S - SET things right between you. -James 5:16

E - ESTABLISH a specific action plan that addresses the issue discussed; write it down. -James 1:22-25

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Tired of misunderstandings? Chip shares how to move past hurt feelings and start having genuine heart-to-heart conversations with your spouse today.

How to effectively communicate:

I. The command – Put on the proper attire -Colossians 3:12

1. COMPASSION – Empathy to action vs. cynical -Matthew 9:36
2. KINDNESS – Whatever is helpful, beneficial vs. critical -Jeremiah 9:23-24, John 4
3. HUMILITY – Their needs first, posture of a servant -Philippians 2:5-11
4. GENTLENESS – Strength under control, your emotions -Matthew 11:28-30
5. PATIENCE – Endure with a good attitude -2 Peter 3:8-9

II. Why the “clothing” metaphor is crucial to biblical communication

1. “Old clothes” must be taken off. -Colossians 3:8-9
2. The new self requires “new clothes”. -Colossians 3:10-11

The Principle: Who we are determines how we “dress” (communicate from the heart)

III. The problem:

• We have settled for techniques and self-help tools to change how we speak, and to modify our emotions and behaviors to improve compatibility; rather than focusing on the deep-rooted transformation of our hearts which empowers us to give the life-giving love of Christ to our mates.

IV. The solution is threefold:

1. Don’t buy the old lies*

• I am what I have: Possessions
• I am what I accomplish: Performance
• I am what others think of me: Popularity

2. Dress appropriately for your mate

1. A – AFFIRMATION
2. W – WARMTH
3. E – ENCOURAGEMENT

3. Have at least 2 “couples conferences” per week**

1. What are you concerned about?
2. What do you wish?
3. What are you willing to do?

*Discover Your True Self book and Affirmation Cards by Chip Ingram and Theresa Ingram.

**Marriage that Works by Chip Ingram.

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• "The Five Love Languages" Book by Gary Chapman

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It’s hard to believe there are couples who’ve been married for thirty, forty, or even fifty years. So, what’s their secret? Chip emphasizes the importance of couples cultivating spiritual intimacy, which is the first of four biblical skills he'll share in this teaching. You won't wanna miss it!

How do you develop spiritual intimacy?

I. Spiritual intimacy with Christ is cultivated by actively believing two things:

1. Whose you are: Chosen -Colossians 1:13-22
2. Who you’ve become: Holy and loved -Colossians 2:9-15

II. Spiritual intimacy with your mate is cultivated by recognizing the supremacy Christ’s role and relationship in your marriage. -Colossians 1:15-18

III. The benefits of spiritual intimacy*

• Allows you to CONNECT at the deepest level.
• Links you with God’s PURPOSES and PLANS for you.
• Allows you to BLESS each other with God’s love.
• Brings your deepest values and desires into agreement.
• Opens the door to the deepest levels of COMMUNICATION.
• Empowers your marriage to SURVIVE.
• Connects you to a SUPPORTIVE body of fellow believers.

*Divorce Proof Your Marriage by Gary and Barbara Rosberg, pgs. 254-256.

IV. How to develop your personal spiritual intimacy**

• ASK God for it. -Col. 1:1-9
• BEWARE of counterfeits. -Col. 2:8-10
• GUARD your thought life. -Col. 3:1-4
• KILL spiritual competitors. -Col. 3:5-7
• SATURATE your life in God’s Word. -Col. 3:16

**Marriage that Works by Chip Ingram, specific help and practical steps for men and women; chapter 9 for men and chapter 11 for women.

V. Removing barriers and building bridges for spiritual intimacy

• There is no one right way to develop spiritual intimacy
• Pray together
• Worship together
• Share what you’re learning

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• "Divorce Proof Your Marriage" Book by Gary and Barbara Rosberg

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When love isn’t enough to hold a marriage together, what is? In this message, Chip shares what we all know about ourselves but are often unwilling to face or admit. The truth he brings has the power to shore up an unstable relationship, mend damaged souls that think there’s no hope, and bring life back to a marriage that’s been dead for years. If you think you’re too far gone, Chip’s going to tell you you’re not. There really is a way to find the joy and peace you’re longing for in your marriage.

Three major reasons we have shame:

1. A theological reason – we ALL have shame.
2. Shame from things DONE to us.
3. Shame of things that we DO.

Three natural responses:

1. To HIDE.
2. To NUMB the pain.
3. To COMPENSATE.

John 21:1-19

Principles:

1. Jesus MEETS us where we are.
2. Jesus gently DEMANDS that we face the truth about ourselves.
3. Jesus AFFIRMS our value and our worthiness by commissioning us to service.

Practical implications:

1. You can’t forgive your mate until you have RECEIVED both forgiveness and restoration. -Ephesians 4:32
2. EXPERIENCE God’s forgiveness and restoration.
3. Freely GIVE what you have received.

Tools for transformation:

D – DEFINE the issue clearly.

E – ENTER the pain and hurt.

F – Ask for FORGIVENESS.

U – UNDERSTAND the process.

• Phase 1: Forgive
• Phase 2: Forgiving
• Phase 3: Forgiven

S – SET things right between you.

• Own your responsibility
• Confess: “I was wrong.”
• Ask: “Will you forgive me?”
• Answer: “Yes, I forgive you.”

E – ESTABLISH a specific game plan to move forward.

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The honeymoon’s over, the glow is gone, and married life can seem pretty harsh after a while. Is there a way to connect with your mate in a way that rekindles the flame? Is there a way to change the way you communicate that helps you actually look forward to talking and spending time together? Join Chip as he shares a communication technique that helped save his marriage and has kept it strong ever since.

Introduction:

• Biblical practice #1: Serve your mate -John 13
• Biblical practice #2: Plan together -John 14
• Biblical practice #3: Connect with each other -John 15

How do we stay connected?

1. Jesus is the true vine and we are the branches. He is the source of life.
2. Fruitfulness – an extraordinary life with extraordinary impact.
3. Love results in heartfelt obedience.
4. The result of abiding is intimacy and it results in supernatural joy.

Principles:

1. You can’t impart what you do not possess. You must ABIDE in Him to have His love to give to your mate.
2. Connection is built on COMMUNICATION – quality and quantity of time spent with one another.
3. JOY is the fruit or the overflow of connection with Christ and with one another. It will SUSTAIN you.

Practical implications:

1. Your personal walk with God is critical to a great marriage.
2. The key to a joyful marriage is communication skill and practice.
3. The connection is of the mind, the body, the emotions, and the spirit.

Tools for transformation:

• “The conference”
• Pray and ask God to speak to him/her -Proverbs 21:1
• The CARE list – “I feel most loved when you…”

Broadcast Resource

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