The quiet end of a marriage can be the hardest to name. Kelly joins us to talk about a 17-year union that eroded not with shouting, but with distance—two people living parallel lives, choosing work and routine over connection. When she asked about counseling and heard “I just want to be done,” relief met grief, and the real work began: property disputes, a gut-punch discovery about home equity, and a custody threat that ran into the reality of a teenager’s voice.

We walk through the lessons that only a drawn-out divorce can teach. The longer it drags on, the more room there is for ugliness. Fairness is a mirage; clarity is the compass. Kelly shares why putting children first means telling the truth, not hiding every disagreement, and stepping back from running interference when a parent won’t show up. Her boys made their own choices about contact, and a stepdad stepped in with a grounded promise: not a replacement, just love and steadiness.

There’s also the rupture with a faith community that chose judgment over care. Kelly expected support and found shame instead, then later became a minister who teaches a different vision: right relationships, human dignity, and love that gives life. Grief still came—traditions that didn’t fit, an extra stocking in the box—and a therapist who named her emotions as valid, not pathological. We dig into practical tools: finding a counselor who fits, practicing radical acceptance when there’s no satisfying why, and learning to communicate without empty ultimatums. The arc is messy and hopeful: feeling fully, moving steadily, and choosing happiness without apology.

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Hi and welcome to Thrive and Decide. I’m your host Sarah Thress. This podcast is intended to help women who are going through a divorce, continplating divorce or have lost a spouse feel seen, heard, understood and not alone. All the beautiful souls who share on here are coming from a place of vulnerability and a common belief that sharing your story will help others. You will also hear from industry experts on what to do and not do while going through a divorce.

Sarah Thress
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