Having finished our discussion on Jesus’ radical view on family, it is important that we (now) consider its application to our everyday lives. In other words, that we understand what doing family according to Jesus it looks like.

With regard to the world’s values or expectations, conversations with outsiders, and fellowship with those not welcomed to God.

You reject the family values or expectations established by the world.
Your conversations with outsiders are to be focused on family talk: God and His Word/gospel/our church family.
You have no fellowship with anyone who does not welcome conversation about God and His gospel or refuses to act on what they have heard (including biological family and friends).
With regard to your major life decisions, personal life, and attitude toward your brothers and sisters

All major life decisions – or in the lives of those in your care, are under the oversight of your church family (most especially your ordained pastor).
4.1. (1Co 1:10; Phi 1:27, 2:2)

4.2. Some practical examples:

4.2.1. Discipleship/discipline of your kids (Eph 6:4) = Notice Paul (their ordained pastor) is telling them what to do with their kids. IOW: he had jurisdiction over the parents in respect to how they raised their children. And based on the scope of the two terms used by Paul (“discipline” and “instruction of the Lord”), this would include jurisdiction over their education and extracurricular commitments since these two terms (discipline and instruction) encompass the entirety of the child’s spiritual and/or character formation. This means if parents don’t know what the church understands to be God’s prescription (in respect to these two terms) and their application to the different areas of their children’s lives (education etc), then they need to go to the church (or its ordained pastors) and ask. Your children are not your own to do whatever you want with (especially if they are covenant children – i.e. a part of the church family).

4.2.2. Where to live, what to do for work (Jam 4:13-17) = According to James it is “evil” and sin” to make decisions as to where to live (“Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there”) or what to do for work (“we will …trade and make a profit”- i.e. career choices) without determining (first) the will of God (15).

4.3. According to Scripture, the will of God is determined by the church family (or her anointed pastors) (Act 15:1-3 = Notice it is the church who decides what should be done; 15:6 “apostles [anointed men] and elders [meaning anointed elders such as James] w/19-28; Gal 2:1-2; 1Co 14:29 [w/28 “church”] = Who is determining the will of God in this matter is the church [Hence Mat 18:17 “tell it to the church”] = The church [or her ordained leaders] possess the HS for discerning God’s will [Joh 16:13] = Verse 16 reveals which of the two HS events Jesus is referring to. It is the one after His resurrection [versus after His ascension] [v16]. It is, therefore, the anointing of the HS that Jesus is referring to, that portion of the Spirit given to pastors for discerning God’s will for His people [Joh 21] – versus the baptism of the HS [Acts 2] that which helps all Christians live in obedience to God and His appointed leaders.

4.4. Does this mean that ordained pastors are infallible (or cannot be wrong) – or that we cannot disagree with him? (emphatically) NO. But it does mean that if we think they are wrong, then we have an obligation to go to them and reason from Scripture (following the protocol of Mat 18:15-17 when necessary) (e.g. our view regarding the excommunicated being able to pray – Psa 51). If we can’t demonstrate our position to be correct (to them or the church) then we must continue to submit to them understanding this to be God’s (current) will for our lives (Rom 13:2; Eph 6:5-7; 1Pe 2:13-18) = Notice, neither Paul nor Peter give exceptions based on foolishness, error or even danger. God never excuses disobedience to His established authorities for such things. Why? Because it is God’s will that His appointed leaders not always be correct as a means of testing our trust and submission to Him (1Pe 2:19-23). In this respect consider (1Pe 3:1; Eph 6:1-3) = Does God’s Word teach that wives or children have the right to disobey if they believe what they are being told to be foolish, in error, or even dangerous? Is not sin the only exception? (Notice, Peter applies the prior established principle as his reasoning – 1Pe 3:5-6). If God expects this kind of behavior in relation to wives and children (those under God’s appointed authorities of husband and parents) why would we think different rules apply to God’s ordained pastors in the church who have been given His highest authority on earth, the authority to bind and loose (Mat 16:17-19)? When are we out of God’s will for obeying God’s leaders? Only when it can be proven (through God’s protocol – Mat 18) that what we are being commanded to do is sin.

4.5. POINT (then) NOT TO MISS = Gospel accuracy and enforcement aside, your assessment before God will not be based on whether your pastor always got it right, or made the wisest decisions, but whether or not you happily submitted to his decisions (Heb 13:17). Once more, will not the same be true with respect to wives and their husbands or children and their parents?

4.6. That our major life decisions be (specifically) in agreement/submission to the church’s ordained pastors is confirmed by St. Ignatius (a direct disciple of the Apostle John who also had correspondence w/Jesus’ mother Mary). Consider his words to the early church: “It is fitting that you should run together in accordance with the will of the bishop [i.e. the ordained pastor] who by God’s appointment rules over you…He that refuses to assemble with the church (for the judgment of the bishop) has condemned himself. Let us be careful then not to set ourselves in opposition to the bishop, in order that we may be subject to God…It is becoming, therefore, that you also should be obedient to your bishop, and contradict him in nothing; for it is a fearful thing to contradict any such person. For no one does [by such conduct] deceive him that is visible but does, in reality, seek to mock Him who is invisible. And every such act has respect not to man, but God…Some indeed give one the title of bishop, but do all things without him. Such persons seem to me not to be possessed by a good conscience, seeing they are not steadfastly gathered together according to the commandment (under and in submission to their bishop)…To those who indeed talk of the bishop, but do all things without him, He who is the true and first Bishop, and only High Priest by nature, will declare ‘Why do you call Me Lord and do not do what I say?’ Such persons are dissemblers and hypocrites.” 

4.7. Summing up what the early church thought Joseph Hellerman in his book, When the Church Was A Family (says this)…“The [first century Christian] person perceive[d] himself/herself to be a member of a church and responsible to the church for his or her actions, destiny, career, development and life in general…The individual person is embedded in the life of the church and is free to do what he or she feels right and necessary only if in accord with the church (family’s) norms and only if the action is in the church’s best interest. The church has priority over the individual”.

4.8. This (again) is doing family according to Jesus. The world (and wicked people) buck against such constraints, but those who truly love (and are following) Christ welcome it. They know that such things are for their (and their family’s) protection.

CLOSING CONTEMPLATION: Are you doing church according to Jesus? Just like His laws, God gives the church family as protection (not a prison). Those who fail to do family according to Jesus are the...

Having finished our discussion on Jesus’ radical view on family, it is important that we (now) consider its application to our everyday lives. In other words, that we understand what doing family according to Jesus it looks like.

You reject the family values or expectations established by the world.
1.1. (Luk 9:57-62) = Given Luke’s decision to group these events together, means that we should assume they possess the same general context from which to discern their intended principle or point. That context is family – or more specifically, the values and expectations possessed by the world’s view of family. There are three presented in these verses. Jesus opposes/rejects all three: 1) your home is where your biological family resides (57-58) = “Holes” (or dens) and “nests” represent not only an animal’s resting place but the place where its biological family resides. Humans in the world identify home – or their resting place, in the same way. It is the place where my biological family resides. Jesus however opposed such thinking (“The Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head” – i.e. My resting place -or home, is not determined by my biological family). What determined Jesus’ home (and the same would be expected of His followers) was wherever He was doing God’s work (Joh 12:26; Luk 17:21 – “the kingdom of God is in the midst of you”). IOW: home will be determined (for the Christian) by the resting place – or home, of God. Which according to Paul is the church or the church family (1Ti 3:15). 2) children must honor their parents in death or their parent’s dying wishes (59-60) = What is communicated by this man could refer to returning home for a funeral or to saying his goodbyes to his father before he dies. In either case, Jesus makes clear that no such expectation of honor toward one’s parents is recognized by God and therefore must never get in the way of any responsibilities we possess in respect to Him or His family (the church). 3) the approval of your biological family is necessary – or something you care about, when it comes to those choices you make in following Christ (61-62) = Most scholars agree the real reason this man wishes to go home and say goodbye to his family is so that while there, he can receive their approval. As before, Jesus makes clear that caring about – or adhering to, such worldly family values disqualify a person from being a part of His family (“No one [is fit for the kingdom of God] who puts his hand to the plow and looks back” = Is concerned about the opinion, approval of those they are leaving behind – e.g. Gen 19:26 w/Luk 17:20-24).

1.2. (Mar 3:31-35) = Jesus is both dismissive and disrespectful to His mother’s demands according to the world and its expectations of adult children – no longer living in the home (i.e. that they continue to respect/listen to/obey their parents). He not only refuses to go outside and speak with his mother but also exposes her and her words as foolish by using them as a teaching point w/His disciples. Jesus’ behavior toward his mother may be what the prophet Simeon is referring to when addressing Mary in (Luk 2:34-35).

1.3. Another example of Jesus’ rejection of worldly expectations when it came to biological family (or His mother) is (Joh 2:1-4) = Notice how Jesus responds to His mother who is trying to use the fact that she is His mother to manipulate Him into doing her bidding (“Woman what does that have to do w/Me?”) = He doesn’t address her by the title of mother but rather “woman” indicating that she no longer had authority to tell Him what to do.

1.5. The POINT NOT TO MISS = Jesus does NOT have the same values or expectations as the world when it comes to our biological family. His are radically different. And we are to imitate Him – not the world if we want to get to heaven.

Your conversations with church family and outsiders are to be focused on family talk: God and His Word/gospel.
2.1. (Eph 5:15-20) = Spiritual things/God’s Word and gospel (e.g. what we are learning, what we are thankful for, Who God is, and what He has done in our life or is currently doing in our life) are to be the focus of our speech and actions – especially when w/others (Col 3:16-17).

2.2. This includes w/unbelievers (Mat 10:27) “proclaim on the rooftops” = To all people –not just those who are believers. Otherwise, we show ourselves to be guilty of two things: 1) we are fearing men rather than fearing God (i.e. caring too much about what they think of us or will do to us) (27-31), 2) we are ashamed of Christ (which means He will be ashamed –and deny us, on J Day) (32-33).

2.3. Consider then: If you are hanging out with biological family on the holidays who are not believers, is this what you wb doing? If not, then you show yourself to be a coward who is ashamed of Christ (Rom 1:15-16 = Paul was “eager” [the opposite of reluctant, having a hard time waiting or holding back] to preach the gospel b/c he was “not ashamed” of it).

You have no fellowship with anyone who does not welcome conversation about God and His gospel or refuses to act on what they have heard (including biological family and friends).
3.1. Such people are a waste of the time God has given you to be advancing His kingdom. This is the point behind Jesus’ parable of the talents (Mat 25). We are not to waste any of the resources that God has given us to advance His kingdom (including time – which once more is what we are doing when we spend time with those not interested in God/gospel conversations – Eph 5:15-16).

3.2. Jesus is explicit how we are to handle family/friends who do not want to hear about God or the gospel (Mat 10:1-15) = Notice the phrase, “shake off the dust from your feet” is coupled with the mention of “Sodom and Gomorrah.” That b/c Jesus’ instruction is an allusion to the command given to Lot and his family in (Gen 19:17). Shaking off the dust, therefore, refers to not lingering or hanging around. It means to move quickly away from such people or places (to “escape”) so as not to be caught w/in the impending blast radius. The people that Jesus is referring to (btw) –included biological family. Most of those in these villages (since they were Israelites) were relatives of the disciples. They were going into their hometowns and villages. The majority of these people were also those who professed to already be followers of God (e.g. those already claiming to be Christians). The important question (then) to consider is this, “How are you responding to family (or friends) who don’t want to have God (or gospel) conversations—or continue to linger – or make excuses, as to why they are not responding in repentance and belief? BTW: there is a big difference between the person who says “we want to hear more” and the one who is unresponsive or (in hearing more) continues to linger or make excuses. Our response should be markedly different between these two groups of people. With the former, we stick around (and continue evangelizing them), the other we run from. We stop wasting the borrowed time God has given us. We stop hanging around in the blasting zone lest we be destroyed w/them (Luk 17:21 – “Remember Lot’s wife”). Why would God cause us to perish w/such people? B/C we are now guilty (of their same crimes) by our fellowship w/them (2Jo 1:19-21).

3.3. (2Co 6:14-16a) = To not be “unequally yoked” w/“unbelievers”(which btw includes unbelieving family) means (according to what Paul says in the rest of verse 14) no “partnership”, no “fellowship.” IOW: No relationship, no hanging out or spending time w/them, no recreating with them or calling them your “best friends” or “favorite people”. We have (as v15 says) no “share with an unbeliever” (any more than Christ does with “Belial” or Satan). We can have association w/them (according to 1Co 5:9-10). But never fellowship – or relationship, that is intentional –unless that intention is to introduce them t...

Why (at 24 years old) did I make such a decision and continue to follow Him today (no matter what the world does or how difficult it might be at times)?

(3 reasons): 1) what I knew about myself, 2) what I knew about the world, 3) what I knew about the future.

What I knew (and continue to know) about myself = It didn’t take me long to realize that I was (and would continue to be without Christ) a slave to my feelings/emotions with very little (if any) power or ability to free myself from them.
1.1.I hated being controlled by them because I saw how depraved, deceitful, and destructive they were.

1.2. I saw how they affected my ability to determine truth, make wise decisions, or have right relationships with others. I was a deaf, dumb, and blind crazy person that operated no differently (if not worse) than an animal.

1.3. I observed that this was true of others as well. Even the best pagan people were selfish animals being driven to do what they did by how they felt. And most of what they felt (or what drove them) was shameful and disgusting (e.g., 98% of men and 73% of women watch pornography – a habit that not only promotes the worst of crimes – the sexual abuse and exploitation of others [including rape and child molestation] but also destroys the most important relationship on the planet- marriage).

1.4. In short, what I realized about myself (and still know to be true to this day) is that self (myself as well as every other human) is out of control if left to themselves.

1.5. Contrary to popular belief, human beings are not naturally good. They are naturally selfish and self-serving (and that to a fault). And by “self-serving” I mean serving the desires of their flesh (no matter how shameful or destructive that may be to others).

1.6. I realized THAT. And (once more) that I possessed very little power to fight it. And that scared me b/c it meant I was capable of the worst of things.

1.7. BTW: it didn’t take being in the world or experiencing sin or the sinful world to REALIZE THAT. All it took was being honest about myself –what I knew was inside me and what I knew was inside others (e.g., psychological research now suggests that everyone either has some form of a mental disorder or will develop one later in life).

1.8. God’s Word confirms this to be true (of me as well as every other human being) (Deu 28:28; Ecc 9:3; Jer 17:9; Rom 7:18-19; Joh 8:34; Eph 2:3, 4:17-19; 1Pe 3:3, 4:3; 2Pe 2:12; Jud 1:10)

1.9. SO THAT is the FIRST REASON I chose (and continue) to follow Jesus. B/C of what I knew about myself.

1.10. This means that WHAT Jesus saved me (first and foremost from) was myself – from being controlled by my flesh- my feelings/emotions. As I gave (and continue to give full control of my life) to Him, He continues to give me power over my flesh so that I am no longer its SLAVE.

1.11. As a result, He saved me also from the shameful, foolish decisions I would make without Him and from the damage I would do to myself, others (and most importantly, God) if I were still in control.

1.12. Hence the reason it has NEVER been a problem to let Him be the BOSS and run my life.

1.13. I am afraid of myself. I don’t trust myself with my life. I know the narcissist I WAS —AND would be if I were running things. I also know how stupid I am. I can’t think straight.

1.14. Left to myself (or my feelings/emotions) I will deceive myself into thinking something is right when it is wrong, that something is safe when it is dangerous. I am (therefore-AGAIN) deathly afraid of myself (my thinking, my desires, my heart).

1.15. And so, I let GO of ME twenty-seven years ago and GAVE full authority (and all decisions) to Jesus because HE is the only One who truly knows what’s true, what’s best, and what path will keep me from destroying me (both now and for eternity).

1.16. I have put my hand to His plow and will never look back (especially seeing how great it has been since I did that. It is the best decision I ever made).

1.17. God’s Word also confirms this to be true for me as well as every other human being who follows Jesus – who gives Him full control of their lives (Joh 8:36; Col 2:3; Rom 8:1-4; God’s Word also teaches me how to properly view my emotions/feelings: not as my guide in this life [feelings don’t think and are often sinfully wrong – Jer 17:9] but as my “check your brain” light –or better yet, “what would OT JESUS do?” light).

What I knew (and continue to know) about the world = The world I grew up in seemed to have a better sense of reality and morality than the one we are living in now. But even back (then) I could see that putting my hopes in this world would be a losing decision. Not simply because it was filled with crazy narcissistic, perverted people, but b/c of what a world filled with those kinds of people creates.
2.1. It creates a world where lying, manipulation, greed, and selfishness are commonplace. A world where the idea of two people getting married and staying faithful to each other for the rest of their lives was already becoming unpopular.

2.2. Today, such thinking (or faithfulness to anything for the sake of faithfulness) is now viewed as weakness or (even) “sin” since the one thing now considered most important is that a person be “always happy.” Nothing can be pursued (or sacrificed) unless there is an immediate reward (or happiness).

2.3. And if lying, manipulation, greed, and (an utter selfish attitude) is what is required to achieve such happiness, then so be it (“the ends justify the means”).

2.4. Self-fulfillment or self-happiness are the chief goal of every human being (according to the world), and nothing should ever trump.

2.5. The irony in all this is THAT this SAME WORLD (where this is the chief goal) is ALSO a world filled w/very unhappy, unfulfilled people—PEOPLE who are disturbed, depressed, and stressed.

2.5. AND if you don’t see that, then you either haven’t been looking –or very honest about what you are looking at.

2.4. Allow me to provide some data that might help: 1) the divorce rate for new couples is almost 70% (IOW: the most sacred of all human relationships, is more likely to fail than succeed. Every 13 seconds there is one divorce in America), 2) more than 40% of those in marriages will have a physical sexual relationship w/a person who is not their spouse (so beyond just watching porn –which includes 98% of the men in the world and 73% of the women, one or both spouses will also have an adulterous affair), 3) therapists now counsel people to consider divorcing their spouses for reasons other than infidelity, the biggest reason: you believe your spouse is keeping you from achieving all of your happiness or self-fulfillment goals, 4) ethics/morality (right and wrong) are now considered a sociological construct –meaning what determines those things is what the majority of people (or culture) thinks at any given time. Hence the reason homosexuality that was at one time viewed as a mental illness is now considered acceptable (because this is now what the majority of people think), 5) Every day 132 Americans commit suicide (most of those doing it are from the middle to upper class) IOW: these are not poor people killing themselves because they are poor. It is people who live comfortable lives in this world but are so unhappy w/their lives in this world, they would rather die, 6) 37 million Americans are on anti-depressants and 40 million see psychotherapists (because this world is so great), 7) 37% of all managers in American companies tell at least one lie a week to bosses or their employees for the purpose of getting ahead or getting someone to do something they otherwise would not do if told the truth.

2.5. So that’s the world (and Evangelicalism. Believe or not, but the numbers among their gro...

Proper biblical interpretation requires two steps: 1) discovering WGO? (what’s going on?), 2) discerning WTP? (what’s the point?).

WTP (what’s the point)? = What timeless, universal principles of wisdom are established based on WGO (what’s going on)?

Many preachers today discount (or outright reject) the need to discover WTP? believing it to be the Holy Spirit’s job (e.g. John MacArthur believes this and those who graduate from Master’s seminary are taught this – i.e. it is the Holy Spirit’s job [not the pastor] to apply the principles established by the text).
The most obvious reason for people not pursuing WTP? in their study of the Bible is that it takes more time and mental energy than people are willing to give.
2.1. Discerning WTP? will often require as much – if not more, time than discovering WGO?

2.2. Hence the reason David says what he does in (Psa 119:97-99 “understanding” [Heb. Sawkal/Biyn– wisdom/principles of wisdom]) = Notice what David he does to gain this (“your law…is my meditation all the day…your testimonies are my meditation” = David spent lots of mental energy and time thinking about what is being communicated in God’s word). See also (v130 “unfolding of your words” = The discernment of WTP?; “gives light” –i.e. it “impart” [gives] understanding [principles of wisdom] to the “simple” [the unwise/fool/stupid – Pro 30:2-5])

The reason discerning WTP? takes so much time and mental energy is b/c of the way God chose to write the Bible.
God chose to write in such a way that most of those timeless/universal principles in the bible are not obvious or apparent. This is what makes the Bible different than other books. It remains (for the most part) undigested as to its principles whereas other books are the digested thoughts/principles of the author (e.g. Over 70% of the OT is either narrative or prophetic in its genre —e.g. Gen 33:1-3).

*(In my opinion) a big help to discerning WTP? (or figuring out the timeless, universal principles of wisdom) whether it be w/the Bible or life is done through reading (digested) books (or books where you can see how the author is working thru and establishing principles).

Harry S. Truman (“not all readers are leaders, but all leaders, read”)

That being said, discerning WTP? is not optional.
4.1. This is a part of what it means to seek God with all of our hearts (the key to finding Him – i.e. seeing the value in following Him) (Jer 29:13)

4.2. It is what we must do if we want the wisdom to avoid temporal and eternal pitfalls and the ability to truly help others (Pro 2:1-20, 3:13, 23:23, 24:3)

4.3. It is also what pastors are commanded to do in their ministries (2Ti 2:7) “think(ing) over” what has been said (i.e. putting the extra time and mental energy into discerning WTP?) is what is required if we want the Lord to give us (His pastors) “understanding in everything”.

Discerning WTP? is exemplified in the teaching of Jesus.
(Mat 19:1-3, 4-5 w/6 [WTP?])

Discerning WTP? is (also) imitated by Jesus’ Old and New Testament teachers/shepherds.
(Neh 8:7-8; 1Co 9:9 w/1-8 and 10-11 [WTP?]; Consider also Rom 15:4 “whatever was written in former days” = The OT; “was written for our instruction” = It contains the timeless/universal principles we need for “endurance” and “encouragement” and so we can have eternal “hope”)

Jesus and the prophets reveal justice, mercy, and faithfulness to be the foundation of most principles communicated in the bible, therefore, providing a helpful guide in our process of discernment.
7.1. In regard to Jesus (Mat 23:23) “weightier matters of the law” = Where the focus in God’s Word resides. One or more of these three moral categories (justice, faithfulness, or mercy) will be undergirding the majority of principles communicated in the Scriptures; “neglecting the others” = Those principles not associated with justice, faithfulness, and mercy. Those that represent the minority of God’s Word (are also not to be ignored). BUT AGAIN, the majority wb associated with faithfulness, justice, and mercy. Which means this is where we should start/what we should assume when discerning WTP?

7.2. In regard to the prophets we see these same three moral categories coming up as the focus of all God’s instruction and (and therefore) expectations for us (Mic 6:8; Zec 7:9-10; Isa 1:17)

7.3. That justice, mercy, and faithfulness are the foundation of the majority of God’s instruction/principles should come as no surprise since they are at the heart of God’s character (and the bible is His self-disclosure) (Psa 35:5-6)

So again, when we are attempting to discern WTP?, we should think in terms of these three moral categories (justice, faithfulness, or mercy) since (once more) this is the main focus –or the main foundation for the majority of principles established in the Bible.

Examples
8.1. (Gen 1:1) = The universe is not eternal (what evolution teaches) but created by the One Who is (Heb 11:3) [category: faithfulness]

8.2. (Deu 19:21) = The punishment must fit the crime [category: justice]

8.3. (Deu 20:19-20) = Environmental stewardship is a moral obligation (our assessment on j-day will include how we treated the earth and its other creatures (Pro 12:10) [category: faithfulness/justice/mercy]

8.4. (Jer 44:16-18) = What a fool believes, he sees (versus what God calls us to: what you see, you believe; Doobie bros song; confirmation bias) [category: faithfulness]

8.5. (Hag 2:11-14) = We can be guilty of sin by our association w/sinful people or things (2Jo 1:9-11) [category: faithfulness/justice]

8.6 (Zec 7:13) = God responds in kind [category: justice]

8.7. (Mat 11:1-6 w/Isa 8:14-15) = Doubts are shored up by facts not feelings [category: faithfulness]

8.8. (Phi 1:27-28) = Letting those who oppose the sound gospel know that we (as the church) stand as a firm, unified and fearless front is a clear sign that we are worthy of salvation and they of destruction [category: faithfulness]

8.9. (Phm 1:10) = Christians always stand up for their brothers’ welfare or reputation (Gen 14:1-14) [category: faithfulness]

8.10. (1 Jo 4:1) = Might does not make right [category: faithfulness]