Today’s episode is the last In this first series of the Christchurch Invitation. (Before a break of a couple of months)

Here I’ve pulled together a few clips to give something of the flavour of these conversations: Mark Solomon and Raesha Ismail on connections; John Sellwood on stories and who owns them; John Psathas on music to give people hope; and Jeremy Faumuinā with how you carry yourself in another person’s place – and on the Vā: the concept of the spaces between us.

Plus a look ahead to the first conversations in the upcoming Series Two . . . we plan to open with two conversations via zoom. They're with Arianna Gayle Stucki and Adam Elsayegh in the USA, in discussion on how their verbatim drama "Memorial" came to be.

We've talked about how stories get told; who tells them; and how that telling may take the story away from the one it belongs to. "Memorial" is about those who have experienced hurt and how their experiences can be properly heard. It calls on the March 2019 experience but it has already spoken across different experiences of loss in different settings.

Today’s episode will be the second to last In this first series of the Christchurch Invitation. (Before a break of a couple of months to reflect on what I’m trying to do, and to plan ahead!)

So this will be a kind of looking back at some of the pathways we’ve wandered through; at what’s been talked about; hearing again from a few of the people we’ve met. And to try to draw a sense of some of the questions that they’ve raised and the connections that I am drawing.

It’s a truism that once you’ve made a journey you’re better placed to understand its demands. And hopefully pass on the learnings.

Arriving in NZ, even with mastery of a range of other languages, there can still be struggles that the native English speaker may not recognise. A chronological age may prompt expectations of experience and understanding that a newcomer to a school (and even to systems of schooling) will struggle with

In Episode 13 we spoke with Hassan Hassan. He talked of arriving in New Zealand from Somalia at the age of 15, with no English and just a patchy experience of schooling. Dedication and application since that time means he's now earned a Masters Degree and is on track for more.

For his friend, Merhawi Gebremichael, it was different. Speaking a number of languages including two Semitic languages, Arabic and Tigrinya, in Sudan he’d studied at Khartoum University; a place with a good reputation.

So, two young men from a similar region of Africa – but different countries and communities and different faiths, one Christian, the other Muslim – they now work together to help other migrants and refugees navigate their own journeys.

They speak here of gratitude for what they have received; a sense of debt perhaps; and a sense what they feel they owe and can give to others. 

Patrick O’Conner’s life has been with people and communities, and for the marginalised. He grew up in a Christchurch home of six children that was shaped around practical, Catholic values and with his father’s reminder that your work is to be “kind and charitable.” Involvement in 1969 with the anti-Springbok tour fed into the learning about the consequences of injustice. But, too, that there is always work to be done at home. 

What he has witnessed and been a part of paints a picture that goes against the caricatures often presented of Christchurch. A city that is now home to 203 different ethnicities: the first city in New Zealand to have a Refugee and Migrant Forum; the first to have a Multi-Cultural Advisor and a Multi-Cultural Centre.

In 1991, together with Herman Ah Kuoi, Patrick set up PEETO – Pasifika Education and Employment Training Organisation. 

Inspired initially by the richness of Samoan culture, PEETO led from Pasifika communities into much other work with refugees and migrants in Christchurch. You work ‘with’ and not ‘for’ because it’s a two-way business learning of dignity and much more. 

As a company name, “Untouched World” hints at something quietly distinctive: beautiful materials, restrained elegance. Along with that, a significant recognition for sustainability and high quality. A Christchurch-based company, it counts among its wearers some very recognisable public figures.

I met founder and CEO, Peri Drysdale, at this year’s “Unity in Diversity” dinner – an annual event led by mosque attack survivor, Farid Ahmed. I was curious about where these worlds meet – his and hers – and about the common ground that Peri sees in Farid’s work. Hence this conversation. 

On its website, Untouched World speaks of being “the first fashion company in the world to be recognised by the United Nations for sustainability.” To reach that stage has taken a vision, and a fair share of determination. Early on Peri was struck by the importance of branding; of a country’s name – its identity – being seen as synonymous with certain qualities. And of adding value to anything you produce. She’d grown up in a time before the EU when raw materials from New Zealand – butter, dairy, beef and lamb – were almost reliant on the UK as a single market. 

As a woman in business, and first targeting Japan, hers has been a journey of discovery – of self and of others – to a wider sense of relationships: from the way you work, to the people you work with. A journey that reveals many layers beneath the first impressions. 

This conversation brings together three members of a student co-design team “Action the Compassion”: Eric Antony, Teresa Steiner, and Ewan Mander. The Action the Compassion student huis are something like a sibling to these Christchurch Invitation podcasts: they developed out of the same place of origin. 

Their focus is on students from across Christchurch and Canterbury coming together from their different schools and backgrounds to frame and explore conversations about the issues that impact on them.

The first explored the theme of tūrangawaewae – the Māori concept of "a place to stand." Other themes have included resilience, identity, and belonging. The intention is to meet, to talk, to listen. School uniforms are discouraged but the team here today admit that (whether this is some sort of Christchurch thing or not) the questions often drift around to "What school do you go to?" A question that plays into preconceptions.

Today we start the conversation with the issue of pressure.

For Tā Mark Solomon (Sir Mark Solomon) knowing who you are; knowing your family's relationships; and treating others with respect are crucial. As Kaiwhakahaere (Chairperson) of Ngā Tahu for eighteen years, there was much that he learned to listen to and watch, and many elders to learn from. He listened to the ones outside the meeting who might not speak up inside; spent time in the kitchen and he watched the strong, sometimes quiet influence of women elders.

In China on a trip with New Zealand government representatives a man introduced himself as "the one who buys all your crayfish" and reminded him of the need to be visible "at least once every year." Then Prime Minister John Key observed how things worked in China and said, "It's obvious we cannot do without a Māori contingent. Every time Māori walk into the room the talking level and engagement goes up."

In this korero he talks of the necessity of recognising "our massively changing demographics," and the power of the Māori economy; of treating everyone with respect: "when you give respect, you get it back." All this, and much more.

If conflicts are a fact of life, left unmanaged, they can be costly. And not just in financial terms. Yet, “when handled constructively, conflict is a normal and useful part of life.” Today, Wayne Marriott speaks of his work in conflict resolution and management, mediation and more – in short, peace building. 

That can be at the family level, in small groupings or communities and organisations, and onward. We live with some dreadful realities that we can reference. How then do we see what is happening and learn to break out of the cycles.

In this work, resolving conflicts must go beyond surface problems to the heart of an issue; to relationships, and to recognise that healing is done 'with' people, not 'to' or 'for' them. 

As a member of MBBI – Mediators Beyond Borders – Waynes is connected into conversations and the important advantage of shared learnings foremother settings. His decision to head overseas to study – at an age a bit later than many – came from a realisation that he needed to challenge himself in different contexts. And here, the choice of the Eastern Mennonite University in Virginia, USA, was not a casual one. He was learning among a multi-national, multi-cultural cohort of students. And the Mennonite traditions (and the work of Center for Justice and Peacebuilding) offered a very significant learning experience.

In this conversation Wayne makes mention of at least one occasion from the time of the mosque shooting when he was made aware of the personal impact on one of his own family of the events happening around him – something that he might not otherwise have anticipated.

Lianne Dalziel's three terms as Mayor of Christchurch included the savage experience of the 2019 mosque attacks. But as a citizen of Christchurch and, for an extended period, as a local Member of Parliament, she's also experienced earthquakes, fires, and more.

That direct, lived experience, is very significant. In the process of responding to a critical event, she says, "the early decisions are best made at the local level."

She reflects here on resilience and on learning lessons and takes issue with some of the terms that get used. The term "unprecedented" is one. "There are always precedents." In the case of the mosque attacks the use of the term "lone-wolf terrorist" tends to cloud rather than clarify.

In framing any Commission of Inquiry it is important to publicly consult when drafting the terms of the inquiry lest it appear that government departments are being protected – a consequence that might undermine trust. And to engage those directly affected, at a time when they are ready to engage.

She compares overseas experiences of ongoing inquiries – in Australia and the UK – and our failure to examine the work of recovery after the Canterbury earthquakes and the central government impact and decisions; to ask what worked and what didn't.

But lessons are not learned until they're embedded and, in a time of social media and division, she stresses that we look back "to understand and not to blame."

Farid Ahmed’s name became very widely known when his wife, Husna, was killed in the Christchurch mosque attacks in March 2019 and he forgave the killer. In Episode 18 of these podcasts we spoke about his upbringing in Sylhet, Bangladesh; witnessing his father’s role as something akin to a village magistrate; and of what became, for Farid, a kind of practical education in disagreement, conflict, and the pathways through this.

Here he speaks further about his sometimes stubborn understandings of justice and principle, even from a very young age.