In this episode, Attorney Brad Tengler and Geoff Carter discuss issues that arise with visitation for parents who are going through a divorce around the holiday season – and how to help ensure that you have the least amount of stress as possible during that time.

December 19, 2013

Transcription:

Brad:   Good evening, folks. Welcome to Divorce Talk Radio. This is Attorney Brad Tengler, here in the studio with Geoff Carter. How’s it going, Geoff?

 

Geoff:  It’s going good. How are you doing? Happy holidays.

 

Brad:   Happy holidays to you. Merry Christmas. We’re only a couple . . . we’re only a week away.

 

Geoff:  Wow. That’s fast.

 

Brad:   Yeah.

 

Geoff:  Time flies. 2014.

 

Brad:   We should have probably have done this show in July, but no one would be listening to it. It would be applicable in July because the issue that we’re talking about this evening is how to plan for visitation or custody issues, any child-related issues, before the Christmas seasons so that you can actually enjoy your Christmas with your kids as someone who’s divorced.

 

Geoff:  I know from experiencing it myself right now, because my girlfriend has 3 kids from different fathers, and to try to plan it all and to make everybody happy to make sure they get a Christmas Eve or . . . actually 2 of them are in school as well, so you got to plan around Christmas break and how many days each you get, too. It’s gets stressful trying to figure all that out.

 

Brad:   It can be a complete and total nightmare.

 

Geoff:  Man, it is.

 

Brad:   A complete and total nightmare, especially if . . .  obviously, it’s going to be . . . it can be a complete and total nightmare if you don’t get along with your ex. Even if you do get along with your ex, it can be a nightmare if you don’t have a clear plan and specifically clear court orders that lay out for you when the kids are going to be at what house at what time so that you don’t have to think about it.

 

Geoff:  You can get all those things in writing?

 

Brad:   Absolutely. People get court orders all the time that indicate when the child is going to be at what house on what time on Christmas Eve, on Christmas Day, Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving Eve is an important holiday, too. I guess New Year’s not so much, but it’s important. You don’t want people fighting about that stuff.

 

Geoff:  How’s that work, though? Let’s say if you’re supposed to get . . . I get one kid this Thanksgiving and you get it next year or however you do it; what if you don’t comply with those court orders? Is that a fine?

 

Brad:   If you disobey a court order, you can be held in contempt like any court order.

 

Geoff:  And go to jail.

 

Brad:   Possibly go to jail, get fined. There’s a number of different sanctions that can be leveled against you in a civil case. If you don’t comply with court orders, there is going to be a consequence or time might be taken away from your kids at a later date on important holidays. In extreme cases, it can be if you’re withholding your children from your ex, it can be grounds for modifying custody.

 

Geoff:  Oh no. No good. What do you start out with?

 

Brad:   My first rule of thumb, if I’m telling someone to plan for the Christmas holidays, is exactly that: Plan. Plan ahead. Nobody should be arguing about Christmas during Christmas, during December. Nobody. All of the arguments, however heated they’re going to be, need to happen in July. You need to go to a mediator, you need to sit down and talk. You need to work out what the schedule is going to be. Obviously, are there some exceptions to that? Sure. 2 out of every 100 clients that I have, or 5 out of every 100 clients that I have, can have a broad visitation schedule that doesn’t really get very particular and they work things out. Those are the exceptions. The general rule however is you’ve got to be prepared for Christmas so that you’re not fighting about visitat[...]