We watched DEVIL DOG: THE HOUND OF HELL, a 1978 TV movie in which the devil takes the form of a German Shepard who very gently possesses a man’s family, making them sleepy and murderous. The version on Tubi has a weird noise on it, so if you want to watch DEVIL DOG: HOUND OF HELL, just ask Simon for a Blue-ray, he probably has more than one. What’s this movie about? It’s about the devil, which is right there in the title. Kim Richards—who went on to Real Housewives of Beverly Hills fame and whose boyfriend was murdered by a hit man while she was talking to him on the phone—is in this movie. She had appeared in thirty-three film or television shows before DEVIL DOG: HOUND OF HELL. She went on to appear in an additional thirty-one, including Blair Witch Mountain Project, which Simon did not write! Will Kim Richards make a sixty-fifth film or television appearance? This is not something we cover on the podcast.

Email: [email protected]

We watched DONE GONE, the new Netflix movie with Rob Lowe in it. After years of watching terrible animal movies, we finally found one we all agree is great and might even win an Oscar. After watching it, all three of us realigned our life goals. You could even say DOG GONE changed what we think life is and what is it for. We are honored that you are coming with us on this journey. We hope you like the episode. 

Never email us.

THE BOYS ARE BACK with an absolute scorcher of an episode. We watched VICKY AND HER MYSTERY, a 2021 film about a girl who relocates with her father to the French countryside after her mother dies, where a mountain man gifts her a dog that turns out to be a wolf that cures the girl of her sadness but maybe is eating too many sheep. We offer 100% accurate opinions about this film, talk about an exciting but shameful new technique for watching animal movies, and MIkal revolutionizes the Cinemanimals universe by introducing a rating system we have a little trouble with.  

We watched REX: A DINOSAUR’S MOVIE, and were joined by the brilliant and hilarious Justin Decloux of The Important Cinema Club and No Such Thing as a Bad Movie. The upshot of Justin’s visit was Simon finally had someone knowledgeable about movies to talk with. REX: A DINOSAUR’S MOVIE is about . . . the pain of motherhood and the grotesquerie of peppers, but mainly it is about a girl trying to raise a dinosaur as best she can, until, after a snowmobile chase and a Christmas pageant, she has to ask herself whether humans and dinosaurs are really meant to cohabitate. But what about mothers and daughters?!? Listen to find out.

Please stop emailing us: [email protected]

We watched THE DOBERMAN GANG, one of the many 1970s movies about a gang of Dobermans who rob a bank under the direction of a bad man in a turtleneck who beds a waitress and wields color-coded dog whistles. At the end of the episode, we share an important extracurricucritters that is also a public service announcement about a truck of monkeys that crashed on the Pennsylvania Turnpike.

Don’t email us, we’ll email you: [email protected]

For this episode of CINEMANIMALS NIGHTS, which continues to bear no legal relationship to our former podcast (“CINEMANIMALS,”) but is a *new* podcast about animal movies, we watched the 1984 horror movie WILD BEASTS, in which someone puts PCP in the water supply of a German zoo. WILD BEASTS has rats getting flamethrowered, a Mercedes crashing through a chandelier store, and tigers eating horseheads. According to my notes there is one boob in it, but I don’t remember. This is CINEMANIMALS NIGHTS: nothing matters, and nothing will ever change.

Email us! [email protected]

For its second episode, Cinemanimals Nights (as a reminder, this podcast is different from Cinemanimals) reviews the 1977 anthology cat horror movie THE UNCANNY, a three-parter in which Peter Cushing explains a book about how cats control the world by murdering people to a potential publisher in front of a fireplace. It takes us a while to get past the plots of each tale, but Cinemanimals Nights is a *free* podcast (however, we are exploring options for ex-post billing for all streams and downloads of the original Cinemanimals). Tune in to this episode of Cinemanimals Nights (free) to find out how many cats could take us down if they were dropped from above, and tune into Cinemanimals Nights to find out how many cats could take us down if we were dropped into a room of them. And more?

RIP Winter, the star of Dolphin Tale and Dolphin Tale 2.  

Now accepting emails at: [email protected]

Welcome to CINEMANIMALS: NIGHTS, a new hit from the team that brought you CINEMANIMALS. Unlike CINEMANIMALS, CINEMANIMALS: NIGHTS is recorded AT NIGHT. Here in episode one, we watched the 1980 film TANYA'S ISLAND, about a woman who either fantasizes about or actually travels to an island where she either metaphorically or physically encounters her abusive boyfriend and an ape who she kind of falls in love with, or who is trapped in a cage later, or who she later traps in a cage. The ape costume is one of the most realistic we've ever seen. We had to buy this movie on DVD. You can't, therefore, watch it--and you shouldn't. We're back, losers. 

Send us emails at night: [email protected]