With the holidays fast approaching, oftentimes family time shifts into high gear—and that means a perfect chance to connect!

This week, we're giving you a simple, powerful tool called the Encouragement Question. It's built on a core idea: when kids (or even adults!) act out, it's often because they feel discouraged.

While it's a standard piece of your Family Meeting, it's actually a superpower you can use anywhere. Encouragement Questions are simply practice for listening without commenting. Just focus on hearing their thoughts, not shaping them. 🧘‍♀️

Quick Tips for a Great Question:

• Keep it Open: Your question needs to be open-ended (there are no right or wrong answers!).

• No Pressure Zone: Encourage people to pass if they don't want to answer—zero pressure! 🙅‍♂️

Why This Works

This low-stakes activity helps everyone—from the toddler to the teens—feel heard, valued, and understood, building mattering in real-time. By genuinely making space for silly thoughts or deep feelings, you send a powerful signal: who they are today is completely enough. ❤️

Pro Tip: Jot down hilarious or insightful answers! It's fun to look back at their wisdom later. ✍️

Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. We would love to hear your original encouragement questions so we can share with our listeners. Share your thoughts on Instagram or drop us an email at [email protected].

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

⁉️Questions/Suggestions/Feedback: Your feedback helps us continue bringing you helpful and insightful episodes. Please email us at [email protected]

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, Marike Pienaar, and Wendy Tracy

Resources

📋Grab your PDF of Encouragement Questions

🎧 Louise and Marjie talk about the Essence of Encouragement♥️ We are getting rave reviews, order your kit for the holidays now! Family Meeting Kit is AVAILABLE!

💻 Want more Positive Parenting Tips? Join Paige for a 1 hour online workshop November 19th.

🎁 Join our annual giving campaign so we can widen our Circle.

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Short on time, feeling stretched thin? Wish you had a magic wand for more cooperation and connection at home? ✨

This week, we're diving into the two powerful anchors of a great family meeting: giving appreciations and planning family fun!

These aren't just agenda items—they're simple, quick skills you can use anytime, anywhere, to transform your family dynamic. Learn how focusing on the good and carving out time to plan for fun together can be your secret weapon against the chaos. Don't just run the house—lead it with love and intentionality. You've got this! ❤️

In this episode, you'll discover:

• How a simple "thank you" can boost cooperation instantly. 🤝

• Why planning fun actually saves you time (and your sanity). 🥳

• Tiny shifts that create huge changes in connection, even when you're busy.

Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. What questions come up for you? What's your favorite appreciation? Need advice on how to get siblings to appreciate each other? We'd love to hear your ideas and answer your questions. Share your thoughts on Instagram or drop us an email at [email protected].

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

⁉️Questions/Suggestions/Feedback: Your feedback helps us continue bringing you helpful and insightful episodes every week. Please email us at [email protected]

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, Marike Pienaar, and Wendy Tracy

Resources

🎧 Don't forget to Listen to 022: Why Family Meetings Matter

♥️ Our Family Meeting Kit is AVAILABLE! Order yours today.

💻 Want more Positive Parenting Tips? Join Paige for a 1 hour online workshop November 19th.

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

Are you a busy, loving parent ready to transform your family dynamic? You've heard in episode 022 Why Family Meetings Matter how they are a powerful tool for connection, problem-solving, and building skills. Now, in this must-listen episode, we dive into the "what"—the essential, simple ingredients you need to get started.

We break down the core components, offering practical, encouraging advice that makes starting this practice feel achievable, not overwhelming. Learn why consistency is more important than perfection, what a family meeting is not (spoiler: it's not a time to criticize!), and the simple practice that ensures every family member's voice is heard. Discover how these simple structures build capable, confident kids who learn to be both great leaders and useful contributors to a group—skills that last a lifetime!

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Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. What questions come up for you? We're curious, do you have any creative roles in your family meetings? Need advice on how to get started? We'd love to hear your ideas and answer your questions. Share your thoughts on Instagram or drop us an email at [email protected].

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

⁉️Questions/Suggestions/Feedback: Your feedback helps us continue bringing you helpful and insightful episodes every week. Please email us at [email protected]

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, Marike Pienaar, and Wendy Tracy

Resources

🎧 Episode 021: Barbara Fairfield: Less Drama, More Love: They Key to Peaceful Parenting on bringing fun and silliness to life.

♥️ Family Meetings are all about sharing power, learn more in 6 Ways You Share Power in Your Home

💻 For a quick refresher on listening check out Paige's Blog, Shhh . . .Just Listen

✏️ Sign up to be the first to receive the toolkit!

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Do you ever feel like you're too busy to deal with family problems? Or that when you do try to talk, everyone gets too upset?

Welcome to the first episode of our new series, where we introduce the Circle In Family Meeting ToolKit. It's a simple, weekly 20-minute meeting that helps you solve problems, create connections, and plan fun activities with the people you love.

We'll share how this timeless method, backed by decades of practice, can help you and your family. Family meetings aren't about lecturing or criticism—they're about slowing down to build skills like respect and appreciation, so your family can speed up and thrive.

Research shows:

• Habits like a weekly Family Meeting strengthen children's brains and teach essential life skills.

• A reliable, dependable routine for connection and problem-solving calms the nervous system.

• Weekly family meetings build belonging, reduce sibling conflict, and prove to children their voices matter.

Join us and learn how to create a whole new kind of family dynamic, one filled with collaboration and joy.

Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. Have you tried a family meeting? We'd love to hear your experiences, the good, the bad and the ugly! What questions come up for you? Share your thoughts on Instagram or drop us an email at [email protected].

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

Questions/Suggestions/Feedback: Your feedback helps us continue bringing you helpful and insightful episodes every week. Please email us at [email protected]

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, Marike Pienaar, and Wendy Tracy

Resources

🎧 Need a refresher on strengths? Listen to Episode 018 Finding Strengths: The Essence of Encouragement

♥️ Marjie shares a personal story about Family Meeting

💻 Read Paige's blog about sharing family work.

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

Do you ever feel like you're caught in a never-ending cycle of drama with your kids or even your partner? You're not alone! This week, Marjie and Paige sit down with marriage & family therapist Barbara Fairfield, LCMFT, to talk about the Drama Triangle.

Barbara breaks down three roles we often find ourselves playing— Perpetrator, Rescuer, and Victim—and helps us see why this pattern keeps repeating. Here's the good news: we don't have to stay stuck in the drama! When we look at the whole picture and stop blaming each other, it leaves space to build healthier relationships with yourself and with others. 💖

Tune in to discover how to:

• Spot the roles you and your family members are playing 🎭

• Break the cycle and create healthier interactions 💪

• Turn conflict into a chance for connection and growth 🌳

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Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. Do you notice the Perpetrator, Victim, Rescuer model in your family dynamic? What questions come up for you? Share your thoughts on Instagram or drop us an email at [email protected].

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

Questions/Suggestions/Feedback: Your feedback helps us continue bringing you helpful and insightful episodes every week. Please email us at [email protected]

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Guest

Barbara Fairfield, LCMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Maryland. Barbara was in monthly clinical supervision with David Schnarch for 20 years and began studying with him in 1994. She is a consultant in the Genetics Department of The Johns Hopkins University Hospital where she facilitates a supervision group for the genetic counselors in various clinics there. In her private practice, besides seeing couples and individuals, she also conducts three therapy groups, two all-female and one all-male group. She is married to Don Fairfield, a retired NASA scientist who also trained with Barbara to lead marriage enrichment groups as Specialists with the Better Marriages non-profit organization

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, Marike Pienaar, and Wendy Tracy

Resources

🎧 If you are a natural Rescuer, take a listen to Circle In episode 018 Finding Strengths.

👓Check out the NY Times Article Marjie mentioned about Millennials & children.

🥾Paige shares her hard won lesson on the perils of rescuing in her blog, The Path of Parenting

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

Do your evenings feel like a second full-time job? Do you just know you need a routine, but don't have time to create one? This episode is for you.

Marjie and Paige dive into the surprising power of creating small, collaborative routines, even when you feel like you don't have time. Drawing from a real-life example of a family struggling with a child's challenging behavior, they reveal how a simple shift in mindset and a few strategic actions can bring a sense of calm, cooperation, and genuine connection back to your family life.

In this episode, you will learn:

• A new mindset for busy parents: start seeing routines as a gift, not a burden.

• The power of "Special Time": Why prioritizing this intentional connection can be the lever that increases cooperation and capability in all other areas.

• The "Do Not Do" list: What to leave out of your routine to prevent overwhelm and maintain focus on what truly matters.

An organized evening isn't just about getting things done; it's about the feeling of peace you have when you put your head on the pillow at night.

💬Join the Conversation Your ideas and questions matter. We'd love to hear how routines helped your child (or yourself). Or if you struggle, let us know, we can work on it together.

• send us a voice message through our Speakpipe

• leave us an anonymous written message

• email us [email protected]

🙏Subscribe & Rate If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

🩵Follow us on Instagram

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, and team Marike Pienaar and Wendy Tracy. You make a valuable difference.

📋 Join Paige for her live Get Ready with Routines Workshop on August 27th

🎧 Listen to The Present of Your Presence for a refresher on Special Time

🏫 For grade specific tips, read the FLC blog on Back to School Routines

🙉Try PEP's (Parent Encouragement Program) Free Intro: Why Don't My Kids Listen to Me?

👓 Read Paige's blog Routines: A Parenting Super Power

📖 The CircleIN podcast from Family Leadership Center is based on Adlerian philosophy, including the work of Dr. Alfred Adler. Adler's core needs were translated into The Four Crucial Cs by Amy Lew, Ph.D. and Betty Lou Bettner, Ph.D. The Cs are: Connect (belonging), Capable (movement, progress), Count (significance, mattering), Courage (encouragement).

• Ansbacher, H. L., & Ansbacher, R. R. 1956. The Individual Psychology of Alfred Adler, Basic Books. New York.

• Bettner, B.L. & Lew, A. 1989. Raising Kids Who Can. Connexions Press. MA. (available for sale at familyleadershipcenter.org)

• Dreikurs, R. & Soltz, V. 1964. Children: The Challenge. Hawthorn Books. New York.

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

Join Paige and Marjie on the CircleIn podcast as they tackle a HUGE parenting pain point: sleep! In this fun and practical episode, they chat with working mom Alex, who's struggling with her 3-year-old's nightly visits. Forget those sticker charts! Discover how one simple shift, based on connecting, empowering, and believing in your child, can transform bedtime chaos into peaceful nights. Get ready to feel encouraged, courageous, and equipped with fresh ideas to bring harmony back to your home. Tune in – your sleep (and sanity!) will thank you!

💬Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. We'd love to hear how you solve Bed Time Blues. Or if you struggle, let us know, we can work on it together.

• send us a voice message through our Speakpipe

• leave us an anonymous written message

• email us [email protected]

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

🩵Follow us on Instagram

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, and team Marike Pienaar and Wendy Tracy. You make a valuable difference.

Resources

💤🥱 Check out American Academy of Pediatrics: Healthy Sleep Habits: How Many Hours Does Your Child Need?

💤Read Paige's blog: Sleep: A Parenting Tool with 7 Tips to get more of it.

💓Like Alex, solve problems with your kids, read 6 Ways You Share Power in Your Home for even more tips.

🎧Listen to our Podcast 009 Family Harmony Starts with Problem Identification: Here's How

🥞Enjoy Alex and Connor's Pancake recipe!

📖 The CircleIN podcast from Family Leadership Center is based on Adlerian philosophy, including the work of Dr. Alfred Adler. Dr. Adler's core needs were translated into The Four Crucial Cs by Drs. Amy Lew and Betty Lou Bettner. The Cs are: Connect (belonging), Capable (movement, progress), Count (significance, mattering), and Courage (encouragement).

• Ansbacher, H. L., & Ansbacher, R. R. 1956. The Individual Psychology of Alfred Adler, Basic Books. New York.

• Bettner, B.L. & Lew, A. 1989. Raising Kids Who Can. Connexions Press. MA. (available for sale at familyleadershipcenter.org)

• Dreikurs, R. & Soltz, V. 1964. Children: The Challenge. Hawthorn Books. New York.

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

Join Louisa and Marjie Longshore at their kitchen table as they talk about an essential aspect of encouragement: finding strengths. They explore a powerful, and surprisingly simple, strategy for turning interpersonal challenges into shared successes, fostering more connection, fun, and engagement. Louisa shares how she built a habit of strength-finding in others (and herself) and grew a stronger team at work as a result.

💬Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. We'd love to hear how you helped your child (or yourself) find your strengths. Or if you struggle, let us know, we can work on it together.

• send us a voice message through our Speakpipe

• leave us an anonymous written message

• email us [email protected]

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

🩵Follow us on Instagram

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Louisa Longshore, Sailor, Camp Counselor, Student

Special thanks to our editor Max Cotter, and our team Marike Pienaar and Wendy Tracy. You make a valuable difference.

Resources

💪🏽To focus on strengths check out Episode 011 for a refresher on Noticing What's Right

💓Read Paige's Blog on Encouragement

🔬More science based tips on how amplifying strengths in parenting can help your kids.

📖 The CircleIN podcast from Family Leadership Center is based on Adlerian philosophy, including the work of Dr. Alfred Adler. Dr. Adler's core needs were translated into The Four Crucial Cs by Drs. Amy Lew and Betty Lou Bettner. The Cs are: Connect (belonging), Capable (movement, progress), Count (significance, mattering), Courage (encouragement).

• Ansbacher, H. L., & Ansbacher, R. R. 1956. The Individual Psychology of Alfred Adler, Basic Books. New York.

• Bettner, B.L. & Lew, A. 1989. Raising Kids Who Can. Connexions Press. MA. (available for sale at familyleadershipcenter.org)

• Dreikurs, R. & Soltz, V. 1964. Children: The Challenge. Hawthorn Books. New York.

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

Tired of "I'm bored" driving you crazy? 😩 This episode reveals why allowing kids to solve their own boredom can be a secret superpower! Marjie and Paige explore how modern parenting often prevents this crucial experience, and why allowing discomfort can spark incredible creativity and independence. Discover how to create an environment that encourages self-entertainment, building resilience and intrinsic motivation that lasts a lifetime. Get ready to embrace the quiet, trust your child's capabilities, and witness the magic born from doing "nothing." ✨

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💬Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. We'd love to hear about boredom in your family. Also, we love hearing your boredom hacks!

• send us a voice message through our Speakpipe

• leave us an anonymous written message

• email us [email protected]

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

🩵Follow us on Instagram

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, Marike Pienaar, and Wendy Tracy

Resources

🧘🏽How to Be, lessons from a tween

💡From Bored to Brilliant Blog

🎧 Listen to Episode 005 for inspiration on connecting with your child through Special Time

🧹Chores can be boredom busters, done right. Learn how in this short blog, Splish Splash Chores

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

Think your child is just being difficult? Think again. We reveal the surprising reasons behind power struggles and how you can shift the dynamic with empathy and clarity. We welcome a favorite guest, Certified Parent Educator, Patti Cancellier. This episode is your blueprint for fewer battles and more peace. Remember, peace begins at home.

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💬Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter.

• send us a voice message through our Speakpipe

• leave us an anonymous written message

• email us [email protected]

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

🩵Follow us on Instagram

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, Marike Pienaar, and Wendy Tracy

Resources

🎥 Avoid Power Struggles and Worry About Yourself (hilarious 40 seconds of wisdom)

☕🏚️Paige has a short affirmation to exit the house in the morning without yelling!

📖Check out the book "Parenting Without Power Struggles" Patti mentioned.

🏋️Diminish Power Struggles by growing the C of Capable written by former FLC board member, Andy Hooper.

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter