CircuOsity .21

Jim takes an adventure on how to be navigate our pilgrimages with our emotional elephants.  He calls upon Jonathan Haidt's Happiness Hypothesis work to understand why our emotions more often than not govern our gifts of reason.

Haidt uses the metaphor of a rider upon an elephant that cannot force the elephant to go in a particular direction. The rider is the rational part of our brains whereas the elephant is the emotional (automatic) portion of our brains. It takes courage and compassion for human beings to create a synergistic relationship with ourselves,neighbors,and God. (Read the Happiness Hypothesis for deeper learning).

Jim refers back to last week's episode and the Plan (Prayer), Do (Devotion), Check (Contemplate), and Act (Adapt) [PDCA] cycle as a model for talking with and riding the elephants in our living rooms who we avoid, or fear to tame . Jim shares how he is using this model to hold the reigns of his emotional, complaining elephant with more wisdom, patience, and maturity. His current work is with a 21 day Complaint Free Challenge. 

Emotional elephant joy riding can be awesome when you have a purpose, plan, and flexible course of action.  You shouldn't be afraid of falling off either.

Check out Michelle McQuaid and Peggy Kern's podcast to learn more about developing emotionally well elephants in workplaces. 

Check out Marc Chernoff's elephant metaphor to better understand how old and outdated habitual patterns and beliefs keep us tied down.  

'Hope that you enjoy this adventure and your own ride w/ your elephants and the emotional opportunities to grow in your self, families, and communities.

“Happiness is not something that you can find, acquire, or achieve directly. You have to get the conditions right and then wait. Some of those conditions are within you, such as coherence among the parts and levels of your personality. Other conditions require relationships to things beyond you: Just as plants need sun, water, and good soil to thrive, people need love, work, and a connection to something larger. It is worth striving to get the right relationships between yourself and others, between yourself and your work, and between yourself and something larger than yourself. If you get these relationships right, a sense of purpose and meaning will emerge.” 

Jonathan Haidt, The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom

 

Blessings along The Way, Jim

A curious thing happened on Facebook today. Amy Welin invited her friends to join her in complaining less. Amy is the Dean of the Episcopal Cathedral of Saint Stephen's in Harrisburg. She seemingly has somethings unsettling her. Jim has been kinda frazzled recently and consequently been complaining about many things rather than contemplating and acting upon potential improvements.

Jim decided to take Amy up on the 21 Day Complaint Free Challenge. Amy referenced Rabbi Brian's Not to Complain blog post as a resource. Jim decided to blow the dust off of an old continuous improvement friend - The Plan-Do-Check-Act (PDCA) model. Jim revises the PDCA model a bit to frame it in a more spiritual fashion. You can learn more about Jim's adaptation here.

 

Today's podcast uses Lisa Lahey and Robert Kegan's Immunity to Change model as a basis for initiating today's conversation. Learning to complain less means making an adaptive change - a gut-felt yearning for choosing a different way of living. The PDCA Model offers a template for undertaking such an transformational learning process. (Jim offers a somewhat detailed description of the PDCA model from 5:27 - 11:28 in the episode).  Jim lays out his proposed plan and do stages of  his complaint-free journey.  Thankfully, there are lots and lots of models to work happily with for the next three weeks.  Jari Roomer recommends achieving success one step at a time.  SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Timely) are handy for keeping track of progress.  WOOP is a quick and imaginative way for visioning a healthier future. And of course, taking a challenge with friends is more fun than doing it alone (except for truly introverted people)

Ultimately, this 21 Day Challenge like any transformative growth is about letting go of established habits of thinking believing, most likely because a person's love for a greater goal is more powerful than the status quo. Have a listen and follow along with Jim and others as they strive for less complaining and more compassion.

Jim offers his reflection on the themes of freedom, liberty, and independence. The July 4th holiday in the United States is next week. Politicians and citizens alike will celebrate the United States' freedom. Yet is independence such a great value? Does valuing one's greatness and/or a nations status really invoke the highest virtues of liberty and justice for all.  Jim suggests that the greater good is to be found in interdependence. Such virtuous living begins with one's self and one's own transformation. Jim uses an article from Ron Esposito of the Conscious Living Center to support his ideas. He also builds upon one of his heroes, Robert F. Kennedy's as a foundation for truly understanding American justice and freedoms.  Jim references John Donne's No Man is an Island poem too.

In sum, Jim suggests that living spiritually well as a person and nation is to strive for interdependence and honest self-understanding.  The Circle Way  offers principles for shared understanding and maturation. Spiritual paths grounded in contemplative meditation and holistic communal collaborations will also promote freedoms beyond The Declaration of Independence and unhealthy proclamations of national greatness and privilege.

Jim invites Gil Stafford into CircuOsity's space. Gil shares a bit of his writing to set the space for this chat.  Gil shares how his writing shapes him as much as he crafts the writing. Jim then invites Gil to talk about his personal pilgrimage using the Enneagram as a frame for the discussion. Both Jim and Gil claim the Enneagram 4 (or the Enneagram 4 claims them).  Gil describes how his own understanding of his life experiences shapes how he shows up in the world, shapes his writing, and how he leads because of this wisdom and intentional work.

Gil and Jim then shift the conversation toward understanding how the Enneagram provides an excellent foundation for exercising leadership using The Circle Way  as a purposeful way for guiding groups towards wellness and effectiveness. Gil and Jim both endorse the importance of holding silence, listening attentively, and validating how one's individual work is being carried out into a person's circles (families, neighborhoods, towns, and more broadly into the world).  

In summary, Enneagram and Circle Way. are methods that are accessible and fruitful for personal and shared wellness. 

Gil checks the duo out with another reading of how our writing - words have meaning beyond the page.   They both offer what was this most important lessons from the conversation. Jim offers a blessing for Gil and all listeners as they travel on their pilgrimages.   

May the Road Rise to Meet you and Blessings along The Way, 

 

Cathy and Gil's Wisdom Way School. 

Gil's Webpage

Gil's Blog

Gil's Books on Amazon

I use a quote from Linda Thompson to converse about the relationship between pain, suffering, and compassion. Thompson said:

"Our uniqueness, our individuality, and our life experience molds us into fascinating beings. I hope we can embrace that. I pray we may all challenge ourselves to delve into the deepest resources of our hearts to cultivate an atmosphere of understanding, acceptance, tolerance, and compassion. We are all in this life together." 

I begin by mentioning that our brains are hypersensitive to pain. Human brains do distinguish between psychological and physical trauma. And emotionally charged people tend to react rather than respond to painful circumstances. We're built that way. Conversely, in less emergent circumstances, we may delay, defer, or deny that we're suffering.  The Buddha offers the Eightfold Path  as a means for encountering and overcoming suffering. Christian moral theology offers the virtues of faith, hope, and love as devoted means for attending to our own suffering as well as the suffering of other people. 

I then offer some quick blurbs about Marc and Angel Chernoff's recent post on Hack Life. Angel writes about 20 Tiny Thoughts that crush our dreams. She lists the inner critic statements we tell ourselves that cause chronic pain and diminished achievements. ("I'm not good enough," "It is too hard," "I wasn't meant to do it anyway,)" She concludes by suggesting that we should seek out the opportunity in everything.  I think opportunity is most likely to be found by truly diving into the sorrowful moments of our lives. That is where we will find God.

The Way of Love and The Circle Way offer resources for creating rituals and practices for honoring ourselves and other people with patience and compassion.  Living in dynamic times such as ours requires us to be truthful yet gentle with ourselves so that we bring grace and determination with us into our communities of faith, families, neighborhoods, and the broader world. 

Blessings along The Way, Jim

Hi there,  Jim will be producing a "Circle Way" based podcast tomorrow (May 17th). 

For now, here's Jim sermon from last Sunday's worship at Christ Memorial Episcopal Church. The church had a unique opportunity to worship with a limited Heritage Edition of the Gospel/Acts Saint John's Bible. Jim reads from and shares his personal experiences of Mother's Day memories.  He offers how Christians and other people of faith may interpret the Bible's examples of Good Shepherding. Mothers are shepherds of God's love in their own unique and faithful ways.  The Saint John's Bible recognizes the more than important place and leadership of women in The Bible.  Jim highlights 3 "Bs" (believing, belonging, and be-loving) as The Way for Christians to listen to the Gospel of John and become Good Shepherds ourselves, today.

 

Blessings along The Way

Today's podcast consider true wisdom. Jim considers a couple of problems he had during the week. He uses the Enneagram Institute's and Essential Enneagram resources. He explains how he has a Type 4 tends to be creative and intuitive. These personality characteristics may be virtuous and/or shadowy depending upon Jim's and other 4s frames of reference and willingness to evaluate what is truly happening here and now versus what may have happened or is desirable in the future.

Jim then moves along to discuss how the Ladder of Inference tool may be very helpful for all personality types regardless whether are positioned in the Instinctive, Feeling, or Thinking Centers. 

Check it out and consider how wise you are and what solutions you use, inferentially or otherwise.

Blessings along The Way, Jim

Photo credit - Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Jim returns to his exploration of circles and The Circle Way. Today he considers the paradoxically token nature of life and death.  He ponders how tombs and wombs often are present with one another in the same sacred space.  He enters into this conversation through Ysaye M. Barnwell's captivating lyrics and music in her song Wanting Memories.

He loves Cantus' version of this song and shares it as well. 

Memories inform who we are. They shape the nature of our path as well as the contents of our being. They may hold us captive and/or offer an essence for reclaiming our new life, especially when we invite God to enter into the conversation.  Memories need not bind us to some chronological and static path. Rather memories may wind and unwind us into a new and more holy space for our lives to occur. Moveover, memories along with daily experience interconnect us to one another, to God, and beyond our human sensibilities. 

Jim offers one scriptural analogy thru an interpretation of St. Thomas' encounter with the Risen Christ. Thomas doubts that Jesus is resurrected, especially given Jesus' crucifixion.  Thomas demands to physically encounter Christ. His circle of friends invites him to do so with them.  In this space, all of Thomas' doubts and fears are extinguished by Christ's invitation to see God's incarnate love in a new way.  

So it may be with us, regardless of our religious tradition, when we possess enough courage to love our past experiences and let go of them in the  paradoxical tomb/womb moments of our lives. Circles create space and time for such order, disorder, and reordering to unfold. 

Enjoy the podcast and share it graciously as the Spirit leads you.

 

Blessings along The Way, Jim

 

Photo Credit - Inner Quest - a quilt made by Pearl Squires

Here's my tribute to the The Doobie Brothers, Bonnie Raitt, Carlos Santana, and Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young's music. I use their tunes and themes to wind my way thru Holy Week and Jesus' Just Alright w/ Me Resurrection. The audio is a bit shaky but listenable. I preach about my experiences this Holy Week. I offer a playlist as a backdrop to understanding Jesus' last mortal week and his ongoing resurrection with us. The associated playlist is at here on Christ Memorial's webpage.

Blessings along The Way, Jim

Jim offers a special Holy Week episode. He opens with a reading from Proverbs. Work committed to God is established in a holy way. This passage makes fertile soil for considering Holy Week's questions. What does it mean for contemporary people of faith to follow Jesus into his passion? Are we willing to die as he did? Was his death necessary?  Jim explores the work of Ernest Becker, the Episcopal Prayer Book's Collect for Palm Sunday, and his observations regarding the conflictual paradox in finding one's life by confronting death and losing what we most deeply value.

One of CircuOsity's followers invited Jim to more fully explore the virtues and flaws of clinging to Jesus.  Jim discusses his own confusion regarding Jesus' innocent death on the cross. He offers some thoughts about why substitutionary atonement is a flawed yet often accepted remedy for human sinfulness. And, he offers that Christians are indeed called to live into Jesus' death as much as celebrate his resurrection.  Jim doesn't mention it here by name while he does speak to emerging ideas regarding Participatory Atonement. We are Christ's disciples (for those of us who are Christian). We are called to his death, burial, and resurrection in daily small deaths as well as more heroic ones. 

Jim closes by offering a Holy Week blessings and farewell.  

Blessings along The Way - especially in The Church's paradoxical and most abundant days.