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In this episode of Civility Matters, John O'Brien sits down with Eleni Kelakos to explore the powerful link between civility and charismatic presence. Eleni shares how treating others with respect actually amplifies a leader's charismatic presence which, in turn, reinforces civil behavior.  This can create a positive feedback loop within workplace culture. The conversation also turns to the flip side: how rudeness and incivility quietly erode charisma, diminishing trust and influence over time. Left unchecked, these behaviors can spiral into a toxic workplace where connection and leadership impact suffer. A compelling case for civility as a leadership superpower.

You can find out more about Eleni's work at:

https://elenikelakos.com/

For more on my work on rudeness and incivility, you can find information at:

www.activatesuccess.org

www.rudenessrehab.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnmobrienphd/

https://www.youtube.com/@RudenessRehab

For more on my work on rudeness and incivility, you can find information at:

www.activatesuccess.org

www.rudenessrehab.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnmobrienphd/

https://www.youtube.com/@RudenessRehab

Send us Fan Mail

Nearly 7 in 10 workers say they've experienced a toxic workplace. On this episode of Civility Matters, Dr. Mira Brancu — clinical psychologist and co-author of Millennials' Guide to Workplace Politics — joins us to unpack Toxic Tiredness, Culture Cracks, and Stress Spillover: how workplace incivility drives burnout, and what leaders can do to build healthier, more civil cultures.

About Dr. Brancu: 

Dr. Mira Brancu is a former federal healthcare research executive, and current Founder of award-winning social impact consultancy Towerscope, as well as a Duke faculty member. She helps HR and business leaders expertise-driven high-pressure industries navigate through retention, burnout, uncertainty, and power dynamics in large, complex systems. 

She is also a Fellow of the American Psychological Association, Founding Member of The Sage Group business advisory and Forefront, a leadership coaching legacy of MG 100Coaches Agency, a Duke University faculty member, author of the Millennials Guide to Workplace Politics and companion workbook, a Psychology Today columnist, and host of an award-winning top 5% podcast and YouTube channel, The Hard Skills.

Contact: 

Dr. Brancu's website: 

https://gotowerscope.com/

Podcast: 

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-hard-skills/id1706366751

YouTube: 

https://www.youtube.com/@DrMiraBrancu

For more on my work on rudeness and incivility, you can find information at:

www.activatesuccess.org

www.rudenessrehab.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnmobrienphd/

https://www.youtube.com/@RudenessRehab

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode of the Civility Matters podcast, psychologist Dr. Tania Israel, author of Beyond Your Bubble and Facing the Fracture, joins the conversation to explore the psychology behind political division and how cognitive bias keeps us locked in an "us versus them" mindset — in society and in the workplace.

Dr. Israel breaks down how our brains are wired to create division, why cognitive biases are so difficult to overcome, and what we can do to bridge the gap across political and ideological differences. Whether you're navigating polarized conversations at work, in your community, or across the family dinner table, this episode offers practical strategies for building understanding and fostering civil discourse in an increasingly divided world.

What we covered:

• What cognitive bias is and why it plays a central role in political division
• How "us versus them" thinking shows up in society and workplace culture
• Why political polarization makes civil discourse and collaboration harder
• Practical strategies for breaking through cognitive bias and bridging divides
• How the insights in Beyond Your Bubble and Facing the Fracture can help you navigate division in everyday life
• What leaders and individuals can do to foster civility and understanding across differences

If you're struggling with political division, workplace conflict, or simply want to understand why we're so divided — and what to do about it — this conversation with Dr. Tania Israel is essential listening.

Here is more information about Dr. Israel: 

Tania Israel is a Professor Emeritus of Counseling Psychology at UC Santa Barbara and award-winning author of Beyond Your Bubble: How to Connect Across the Political Divide and Facing the Fracture: How to Navigate the Challenges of Living in a Divided Nation. She has received honors from Congress, the California State Legislature, and the American Psychological Association and has shared her expertise on bridging divides with the TODAY show, the New York Times, NPR, and dozens of other media outlets.
You can hear more from her on her podcast, Ready to Be Strong, and TEDx talks such as How to Win a Political Argument and What Halibut Fajitas Taught Me About Bridging the Political Divide.

Explore more of Tania’s books, TEDx Talks, and podcast at TaniaIsrael.com.

Below are direct links including links to some of the resources Tania mentioned during the live session, in case they are helpful to include. 

Tania's Podcast

TedX Talks: 

How to Win a Political Argument | Dr. Tania Israel | TEDxSanLuisObispo

What Halibut Fajitas Taught Me About Bridging the Political Divide | Tania Israel | TEDxUCSB

Tania's Books

Other resources:

AllSides.com

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For more on my work on rudeness and incivility, you can find information at:

www.activatesuccess.org

www.rudenessrehab.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnmobrienphd/

https://www.youtube.com/@RudenessRehab

Send us Fan Mail

Dr. Ann Bowers Evangelista joined for a conversation on civility, self-awareness, and sustainable leadership, drawing on her experience as an endurance athlete to offer a unique framework for navigating workplace challenges. She explores how the discipline, resilience, and pacing strategies that fuel athletic endurance can help leaders stay composed, prevent burnout, and build healthier workplace culture.

What we covered:

• Why self-awareness is foundational to effective leadership and improving workplace culture
• How endurance athlete strategies translate to sustainable leadership practices
• Why civility is an essential leadership skill, not just a nice-to-have
• How emotional reactivity can derail decision-making and damage team relationships
• Practical strategies for staying grounded and managing conflict in difficult conversations
• Ways leaders can protect their energy, pace themselves, and set clear expectations without burning out
• How building resilience and endurance as a leader supports both personal well-being and team health

Whether you're navigating challenging workplace dynamics, struggling with leadership burnout, or looking to develop stronger self-awareness and composure under pressure, this conversation offers actionable insights grounded in a proven endurance framework.

Here is some information about Dr. Bowers Evangelista

Ann drives long-term leadership success in people and organizations by igniting purpose, clarity, and focus in leaders and teams. For nearly three decades, she has leveraged her experience as a psychologist, business and leadership expert, and endurance athlete to maximize human potential and business results. Organizations seek Ann’s hiring proficiency to select and develop high-caliber talent and build great teams. As a coach, Ann’s reflective abilities and goal orientation help clients focus on change that sticks. She is an expert on hiring great people, building sustainable, high-performing individuals and teams, change transformation, conflict and negotiation, feedback, and developing future talent. 

Her book, The Endurance Leader, was released in 2024, and she speaks regularly on the importance of long-term thinking, discipline, and resilience in great leadership. An Ironman triathlete and marathon runner, Ann brings her high-performance focus and results orientation to her work, family, and community. She is the proud spouse of a US Air Force officer and volunteers with nonprofits that support DC’s underserved and marginalized communities.

You can find out more about her work at: https://llumos.com/

For more on my work on rudeness and incivility, you can find information at:

www.activatesuccess.org

www.rudenessrehab.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnmobrienphd/

https://www.youtube.com/@RudenessRehab

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode of Civility Matters, Colt Briner joins us for a discussion about purpose, workplace conflict, toxic culture, and the leadership behaviors that undermine trust and performance. Briner, author of “The Race to Relevance” and co-creator of the “Wayfinding” system, discusses how purpose helps people navigate work and life with greater clarity and alignment. We explore how rudeness, poor communication, and unhealthy power dynamics show up in teams and why addressing them early matters for both people and organizations. 

Colt also shares practical strategies for leaders, HR professionals, and managers who want to improve workplace communication, strengthen leadership and respect, and create a healthier workplace culture. They explore how civility connects to purpose-driven leadership, why rudeness happens in organizations, and practical strategies for building more respectful workplaces. The conversation highlights that treating people well isn’t a soft skill—it’s a strategic advantage grounded in purpose-centered messaging and human-centered leadership

About Colt Briner:

Colt Briner is a strategist, speaker, and creator focused on helping individuals and organizations reconnect with what makes them fully human. As the founder of an award-winning marketing agency and a senior marketing leader in healthcare, Colt has spent over two decades driving growth at the intersection of strategy, creativity, and purpose. 

His work challenges conventional, performance-driven models by introducing more relational, intuitive, and holistic ways of thinking. Colt is the co-creator of Wayfinding, a reflective system designed to help people navigate life with greater clarity and alignment, and a leading voice behind the Invitation to Wholeness—an emerging body of work exploring the balance between logic and intuition, structure and flow, and the seen and unseen forces that shape our lives.

Whether working with executive teams or individuals, Colt’s approach is rooted in a simple idea: the path forward isn’t something we force, it’s something we learn to sense, trust, and follow.

Contact Colt at: https://coltbriner.com/

You can also contact him at: [email protected]

For more on my work on rudeness and incivility, you can find information at:

www.activatesuccess.org

www.rudenessrehab.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnmobrienphd/

https://www.youtube.com/@RudenessRehab

Send us Fan Mail

Civility Matters welcomes psychologist and emotional intelligence expert Dr. Dana Ackley for a conversation about rudeness, workplace conflict, and toxic polarization. Together, we explore how emotions shape reactions, fuel conflict, and can also be used to build empathy, better decisions, and braver conversations across differences. Dr. Ackley shares practical tools for recognizing triggers, managing impulses, and improving workplace communication in divided environments where respect and connection are often strained.

Dr. Ackley explains emotional intelligence as the intelligent use of emotion, sharing practical tools for recognizing triggers, managing impulses, and humanizing “the other side.”  This episode offers hopeful, actionable insights for anyone tired of rudeness and ready to help repair our social fabric.

Dr. Ackley's Bio:

Dr. Dana Ackley is a psychologist who is an executive coach and author of the book “The Little Book to Save Humanity” published in 2024. In addition, he has a forthcoming book to be published soon, entitled “Emotional Intelligence for a Divided World (https://theeqpress.com).  
Dana is an internationally recognized expert in Emotional Intelligence. He works as an executive coach to senior leaders in a variety of industries. Much of his current work is devoted to helping society overcome toxic divisiveness.

For more information on Dr. Ackley: https://theeqpress.com/about-dr-ackley

For more on my work on rudeness and incivility, you can find information at:

www.activatesuccess.org

www.rudenessrehab.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnmobrienphd/

https://www.youtube.com/@RudenessRehab

Send us Fan Mail

Toxic Talk, Tired Teams features Dr. Audrey Tang and Dr. John O’Brien in a conversation about toxic talk, workplace incivility, and the ways unhealthy communication patterns damage workplace culture. They examine how gossip, emotional fatigue, and negative communication drain energy, weaken trust, and contribute to toxic workplace dynamics. This live session offers practical ideas for leaders, HR professionals, and business audiences who want to improve workplace communication, strengthen emotional intelligence at work, and create healthier relationships in the workplace. 

Dr. Tang's Bio: 

Dr Audrey Tang is a Leadership trainer, TEDx Performer/Speaker, Chartered Psychologist and multi-award-winning business author who focuses on practical tools for Wellbeing. With 30+ years teaching practical wellbeing tools in person and for the media, along with directing community theatre, she founded Wellbeing Media Studio broadcasting’s two shows: Mental Health Matters: Office Hours; and Mental Health Matters: After Hours globally with the e360tv Network. These and her other programs shine a spotlight on wellness and provide a visible opportunity and media support for academics and Thought Leaders. 

Along with her coaching practice and mental/emotional fitness building workshops that she provides virtually and in person, she is the Founder and Chair of Trustees at CLICK Arts Foundation, a charity which gives grants to grassroots arts projects which build confidence, inclusivity and wellbeing. 

She created and hosted the podcast Retrain Your Brain for Success (winner: Positive Change podcast awards); and The Wellbeing Lounge on NLiveRadio (winner of several awards). She also provided psychology contribution (on screen and off) to Channel 4's Don't Diet Lose Weight, and The Chrissy B Show. 

She is a sought-after speaker, trainer coach and consultant who continues to give expert comment in the area of wellbeing to published and broadcast media.

For more about Dr. Audrey Tang: https://www.draudreyt.com/

For more on my work on rudeness and incivility, you can find information at:

www.activatesuccess.org

www.rudenessrehab.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnmobrienphd/

https://www.youtube.com/@RudenessRehab

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode of Civility Matters, performance psychologist and author Dr. Rob Fazio explores how workplace incivility, bullying, and rudeness erode trust, performance, and well-being. We look at the psychology of power, control, and fear, and discuss why abusive leadership and so-called “tough” management often create a toxic workplace culture. We discuss how to recognize early warning signs of a toxic culture, the hidden costs of tolerating bullies, and the risks for both individuals and organizations. 

Dr. Fazio shares practical strategies for leaders, HR professionals, and managers who want to strengthen workplace communication, improve leadership and respect, and build a healthier culture where people feel safe speaking up.

Dr Fazio's Bio:

Dr. Rob Fazio is a psychologist, speaker and executive coach known for his candor and warmth. He is able to connect with people where they are and challenge them to get them to where they want to go. He places a premium on balancing behavior change with business outcomes. 

Dr. Fazio is considered a turnaround expert as he is often called upon to tackle the thorniest organizational challenges and advise tough-minded alpha executives and elite talent, such as CEOs, surgeons, litigators, and wealth managers. He developed the Motivational Currency® Calculator, a self-assessment that helps people understand their own and their colleagues’ motivators and how to tap into that to facilitate improved communication and heightened collaboration. 

A recognized expert in intentional leadership and protecting oneself and others from dysfunctional behavior, he penned two books, Simple is the New Smart and the WSJ bestseller, BullyProof: Using Subtle Strength to Influence Alphas and Strengthen Society. 

His strategies have been featured in outlets including CNBC, CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News and his thought leadership has appeared online and in print within publications including Success Magazine, The New York Times, Forbes, and CEO Magazine. He is the founder and president of the nonprofit, Hold the Door for Others, that equips and challenges people to grow through loss, trauma, and adversity.

More about Dr. Fazio: https://onpointadvising.com/

For more on my work on rudeness and incivility, you can find information at:

www.activatesuccess.org

www.rudenessrehab.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnmobrienphd/

https://www.youtube.com/@RudenessRehab