Right, gather round babes because I need to talk to you about the most chaotic, unhinged, ICONIC podcast on the internet and I will not be taking questions.

We've got Gay Linda — yes, GAY LINDA, because somebody named her wrong and she has FORGIVEN but she has NOT forgotten — and her co-host Devina. Or Devine. Whatever darling, they're still working it out mid-episode.

These two sit down every week and cover the things that MATTER. Would you eat a perfectly formed takeaway dinner you found on the STREET? Is there active chlamydia on the tube escalator handles? What DO you do when you release the cannon from hell of a fart in a completely silent yoga class? These are the questions, babes. THESE ARE THE QUESTIONS.

There's Sainsbury's fights. There's pizza thrown into a bush at midnight in Epping. There's birthday cakes being SPAT on and people still eating them. There's men coming out of gyms so beautiful that someone is genuinely considering joining a CHURCH.

It goes everywhere, it resolves nothing, and somehow by the end you're booking a spontaneous train to Bournemouth at 11pm.

Absolutely no notes. Total disaster. Cannot stop listening.

This is What Would Denise Do — and the answer is always, always more chaotic than you expected.