Does your vibe actually shift when you swap languages? Is French really the sexiest language? Is the fear of looking like an idiot thwarting our impending fluency? This week, Gabby and Dani are joined by linguist and language wizard Beatriz Lopez to unpack the wild (and painfully exhausting) subject of bi- (and tri) lingual brains. We get into whether speaking French actually rewires your personality (spoiler: sort of), why flirting feels smoother en français, and whether French actually deserves its rep as a hard-to-learn language—or if we're just A+ whiners. Come for the sociology, stay for the existential crisis.

Today on the pod: culture shock meets bedroom talk—we’re diving deep with Jessamy Holland, a psychosexual and relationship therapist based in Paris. She helps Dani & Gabby break down everything from the thrill and heartbreak of international dating, to navigating intimacy across cultural norms, to the quirks of French‑vs‑American expectations around sex, communication, and romance. Can she solve the dilemma of why Gabby despises dating French men? Or why French partners struggle with the word "sorry"? Only time (or, you know, this episode) will tell. Plus - tacos, Percy Pig gummies, and...brie + sugar??

No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model: https://www.amazon.com/No-Bad-Parts-Restoring-Wholeness/dp/1683646681

Saving Sex and the City 3 Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yHlD9lmwJavFz83AjI5yr

Tiktok of the girl @ Charli XCX reading her breakup text: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNdyJp58r/

Today is a very special day, because today we have one of our favorite people on the pod - Sutanya Dacres!! Sutanya has created a far-reaching community of readers, listeners and diners under her Dinner for One umbrella, in which she encourages single women to reclaim their tables and their stories. While Dani has been barred from the exclusive single supper club, Gabby has had the recent privilege of getting dumped — allowing her special access. Sutanya walks us all the way from her Jamaican roots, to her first mayonnaise experience (spoiler alert: it wasn't her "her type of taste"), to her stint in the suburbs, and eventually her whirlwind email-based romance — and heartbreak — at the hands of a French man that upended her life and plopped her down in the "studio" with us today. We touch on the difference between integration and immersion, the problems with online "dating coaches", how to cope post breakup and so so so much more (namely: cake).

Find Sutanya's book here: https://www.amazon.com/Dinner-One-Cooking-Paris-Saved/dp/0778333035 (or at Shakespeare & Co!)

Find Sutanya online here: @dinnerfor.one

Additional references:

• Lauren Collins' book: When in French: Love in a Second Language
• Lauren Collins' New Yorker article on El Mordjene: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2025/06/09/how-a-hazelnut-spread-became-a-sticking-point-in-franco-algerian-relations
• Kate Kassin's Bon Appetit article on ice cream: https://www.bonappetit.com/story/best-ice-cream-desserts-restaurants-2025?srsltid=AfmBOootHkI-JdcniSkHaQG8wqaQVFu59ox8GXq60pb600TGCV2oZty5
• Ice cream references: JJ Hings, @kevglace
• Nikita Wallia's "thinking out loud" Substack: The Rise of the TikTok Oracle

We had to hop on the ~*~viral~*~ propaganda-we're-not-falling-for trend. Whether it's French men's falsely "romantic" reputation, French pharmacy fails, croissant chaos or attacks on snacks - Dani & Gabby are coming in hot today with the Paris propaganda they absolutely refuse to get behind.

🎶 LET'S GO BACK, BACK TO THE BEGINNING 🎶 (IYKYK) Happy to report that we've acquired a lot of new friends recently so we're re-running our DEBUT EP! This is the ep in which we discover how awkward it is to talk TO each other while talking FOR someone else, and navigate just how much eye contact a social arrangement like that entails. Always nice to go back to your roots and remind yourself where you came from. Keeps us humble!!! Love y'all and see you next wk with a spankin' new ep.

It's our first guest & we COULDN'T be more excited!!!!! Clashes abound in this one 🚘! Matt tells us all about his early life in the Philippines and what it was like to come to the US as a kid — from the unique joys of childhood Costco sample scouring to the iconic gondolas in Vegas' Grand Canal Shoppes. We dig into baby's first culture shocks, the upsides/downsides/necessity of rule-following as an immigrant, the joys of NYC as an "outsider", and Matt's relationship with France today. BONUS: he schools us on the legacy (and mystery) of ~ Chartreuse ~.

• Matt's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mattortile/?hl=en

• Matt's book: The Groom Will Keep His Name: And Other Vows I've Made About Race, Resistance, and Romance: https://a.co/d/5oQFSX8

• The great CN Traveler piece he references: https://www.cntraveler.com/story/french-asian-paris-ro-kwon

One question we get constantly as certified idiots abroad: “Are Parisians rude?” To which we’d like to counter—are we?? A big shock since moving countries has been the realization that our manners don't translate. Whether we're talking about the French's distain for small talk, their proclivity for directness, or an aversion to smiling — we discuss how our more American traits are often ~unwelcome abroad~. In an attempt at intellectualism, we put on our history hats (do historians wear hats?) to make a valiant, questionably accurate attempt to trace where our cultures diverged—and how these unspeakably different definitions of “polite” came to be. As always, the conversation devolves — this time into a truly unhinged rant re: sneezing & a spiral prompted by our mutual disgust for LinkedIn culture. Also, Dunkin' Donuts launched in Paris???!

More materials:

• The Culture Map by Erin Meyer: https://amzn.eu/d/bS96Ls8

• @vin_dealer (our new fav wine influencer): https://www.instagram.com/vin_dealer/

• Overcompensating (on Amazon Prime): https://www.primevideo.com/detail/0GZX4440MSC23NHW3P0BSQB1TE/ref=atv_dp_share_cu_r

Why is money so dang weird? Today we break down our respective relationships with ~l'argent~ — from NYC-fueled over-shopping to how moving to Paris killed both of our "more is more" mentalities. We touch on why we believe sharing your salary is an act of service, and whether it's wise to travel with a friend on a wholly different budget (communication is key!!). Stay tuned for post discussion rants about the incessant reality of groups of men blocking the sidewalk to why one of our laptops is about to grow its own forest.

Reference materials:

NYT's "Are You the Only One Who’s Broke? Or Is It ‘Money Dysmorphia’?, by Emma Goldberg: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/04/12/style/boom-boom-spending-money-dysmorphia.html

The Cut's "Are We All Living Beyond Our Means Now?", by Claire Lampen: https://www.thecut.com/article/discretionary-spending-and-debt-costs-of-living-expenses.html

Gabby's "hot guy who reads" crush: https://www.tiktok.com/@lukesreads

Hot Shrek: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BS8KT1uCseY

@louispisano: https://www.instagram.com/louispisano/?hl=en

It Must be Nice to be a West Village Girl: https://www.thecut.com/article/nyc-west-village-neighborhood-new-generation-women-girls.html

Gross strawberry situation: https://www.tiktok.com/@sandra.urbangarden/video/7250866827604086058

ARE WE OLD!?!? we ask ourselves calmly and reflectively with no hint of panic or desperation. Today's pod explores the clash of realizing you're not longer one of the "youth", and all that this entails. From grappling with the stranger in the mirror (what is HAPPENING under my eyes), to career-based insecurities, dating implications and more, Dani + Gabby dig into the disparaging aspects of aging and try to find the silver linings of silver hairs. To alleviate our woes, we snack on banana bread and scones while rioting against "top 10" Paris lists & the number 3 (?!)

Reference Materials:

• Claire Lampen in The Cut, "What Should a 30-Something Look Like?": https://www.thecut.com/article/millennials-thirty-somethings-aging.htmlJia Tolentino in The

• New Yorker, "My Brain Finally Broke": https://www.newyorker.com/culture/the-weekend-essay/my-brain-finally-broke

• The Valley on Bravo: https://www.bravotv.com/the-valley

• Berlant & Novak: https://open.spotify.com/show/3ZZD3qBiD8bCqfD9D83TDB

• Wishbone! : https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0L7ZPi2gzWI79_DzDYHlNiJHGuyPdXyw

Another baby ep?? You lucky ducks. Truly, who could be luckier? All the joy of Dani + Gabby, this time Polly Pocket-sized. Today we circle back to one of our favorite pod premises: rapid-fire clashes. Whether it's France's war on snacks (!!), waiters telling Gabby that the bathroom is "outside", or Dani's mental breakdown regarding when to say "bonjour" vs. "bonsoir", the Clashists duo brings you the hard hitting culture journalism you've come to know and love. Also, will we ever learn to pronounce the word "spritz" in French? That's a secret we'll never tell. We wrap with a fun "this or that" Paris vs NYC edition. Spoiler alert: dating in Paris is h-e-double-hockey-sticks.