What happens when the world teaches you to shrink yourself long before you learn how to love yourself?

And who do you become when the body you’ve spent years fighting finally becomes the body you choose to honour?

In this episode of the Clean Your Toilet Podcast, Cheryl Tay, Chief Editor, Baseline Media and Founder, Rock The Naked Truth, sits down with Benjamin Byrne, content creator The Smiling Afro, for a conversation that moves through shame, courage, identity, and the unspoken shadows we carry in our relationships — especially the relationship we have with ourselves.

Cheryl’s journey began with years of dieting, over-exercising, and striving for a body that felt “acceptable” enough to earn love, visibility, and belonging. She shares candidly about the internal narratives that shaped her adolescence and early adulthood — the belief that worthiness was tied to perfection, discipline, and physical control. But it wasn’t just about size; it was about safety. About hiding the parts of herself she feared others might judge.

Her relational world cracked open when she fell in love with someone unexpected — a woman, her best friend. This love forced her to confront the biggest shadow of all: the fear of losing belonging for choosing truth. Coming out meant risking family acceptance, unsettling cultural expectations, and standing firm in a version of herself that didn’t fit the script she was raised with. It required courage, grief, and a deep re-examination of love as not something you “earn,” but something you allow.

Through therapy and self-exploration, Cheryl learned to dismantle the emotional habits of over-giving, people-pleasing, and self-abandonment. She now sees love — romantic and platonic — as a space where honesty is the highest form of intimacy.

If you’ve ever found yourself:

— Feeling unworthy because of your body or your past

— Afraid to be fully seen by the people who matter most

— Torn between belonging and authenticity

— Loving someone who challenges old definitions of identity

— Or trying to break the cycle of self-abandonment…

This episode is for you.

It’s a reminder that love doesn’t demand perfection —

it demands presence.

And the moment you stop performing is the moment you finally come home to yourself.

GOODIES FROM WILDFLOWER STUDIOS!

- Use code CLEANYOURTOILET at checkout for $40 off their ‘Chill & Paint with Cats’ workshop. An hour is $20 per person, so they want to encourage you to bring a friend or family member!

- 10 codes valid till end January 2026

#CleanYourToiletPodcast #Shadow #Relationships #Podcast #Singapore #BodyImage

What do you do when your deepest longing is also your deepest source of pain?

How do you stay connected to yourself and the people you love, and continue to persist when life throws you challenges that wear down and break your spirit? How do you continue forward in a dark endless tunnel where you struggle to see the light at the end?

In this episode of the Clean Your Toilet Podcast, Rafidah Jalil, edutainer (Kak Fifi and Mimi), volunteer & director, Fertility Support SG, sits down with Benjamin Byrne, content creator The Smiling Afro, to share a journey shaped by uncertainty, heartbreak, surrender, and the quiet resilience required to keep choosing hope.

Before becoming a mother, Rafidah was a high-achieving SVP in a bank. She worked hard, planned well, and excelled under pressure. But infertility disrupted every formula she knew. Multiple IVF cycles, miscarriage, and years of waiting pulled her into emotional territory no career success had ever prepared her for. She speaks with honesty about the shadows of this journey: the loneliness of silent grief, thoughts of suicide, the spiritual exhaustion of praying without guarantees, and the identity crisis that comes from feeling like you can’t “achieve” the life you imagined.

This conversation explores how infertility reshaped her marriage: revealing the limits of strength, the importance of communication, and the deep vulnerability required to let someone walk with you through pain they cannot fully understand. She shares how her lowest moments opened doors to unexpected connection: community, shared stories, and the healing that comes not from solutions, but from being seen by others who understand.

Today, as a mother of three, Rafidah carries her past not as a wound, but as wisdom. She holds the paradox of joy and grief, gain and loss and shows how relationships deepen when we flow with what life brings, instead of hardening ourselves.

If you’ve ever:

— Faced a season of waiting with no clear ending

— Questioned your worth when things fell apart

— Struggled to communicate pain you can barely name

— Carried grief quietly because you didn’t know where it belonged

— Or learned to surrender a life that didn’t go to plan…

This episode is a tender reminder that surrender is not weakness, it is the moment your heart makes space for something new.

#CleanYourToiletPodcast #Shadows #Relationships #InnerWork #PersonalMastery #InfertilityJourney #Grief #Healing #Marriage #IVF #LettingGo #Podcast #Singapore

What happens when the life you built with precision, planning, and control suddenly demands that you surrender?

And what if the relationship you’ve been avoiding is the one with your own shadow?

In this episode of the Clean Your Toilet Podcast, Stephanie Dickson, Conscious Leadership Speaker & Exited Founder, sits down with Benjamin Byrne, content creator The Smiling Afro, for a conversation that is equal parts tender, disruptive, and deeply revealing. Stephanie has spent years advocating for sustainability, mindfulness and conscious living, yet the inner journey she shares here reminds us that transformation isn’t always gentle.

Stephanie grew up believing that control was safety. Anxiety, perfectionism, and high achievement shaped her identity from a young age. The more she mastered, the more secure she felt. But motherhood changed everything. It stripped away predictability, routine, and the illusions of certainty she had relied on. In its place came rawness, mess, and a mirror she could no longer look away from.

She speaks openly about confronting her triggers, navigating burnout, unlearning old emotional patterns, and releasing the internal systems that once protected her but now held her hostage. She reflects on the evolution from performance to presence, from control to trust, from self-pressure to self-compassion.

This conversation explores the shadow side of being “the strong one,” the undiscussed loneliness of burnout, the grief of letting go of old identities, and the unexpected joy that comes from making peace with uncertainty.

If you’ve ever found yourself:

— Trying to control everything so nothing can hurt you

— Burning out while pretending you’re okay

— Realising your coping mechanisms no longer fit who you’re becoming

— Struggling to embrace imperfection

— Learning to surrender in a season that demands softness…

This episode is your reminder that surrendering and letting go isn’t giving up, it’s about accepting and embracing your full self. The shadows you’re afraid to confront may be the exact places where joy, clarity, and connection take root.

GOODIES FROM MOOM!

- Comment on our socials to stand a chance to win a SUPER GREENS STARTER KIT. Closing date: 7 February 2026

- Use code CYTMOOM15 for 15% off one-time purchases on http://moom.health/, no minimum spend. Valid till 15 February 2026

#CleanYourToiletPodcast #Shadows #Relationships #InnerWork #PersonalMastery #LettingGo #Motherhood #Burnout #ConsciousLiving #Podcast #Singapore #Leadership #SelfLeadership #SelfLove #Transformation

What happens when the life you built suddenly no longer fits?

And how do you learn to love a body, a future, and an identity that look nothing like what you once imagined?

In this episode of the Clean Your Toilet Podcast, Cheryl Miles, founder of Miles Nixon Media and author (“Smitten in the Kitchen, 60 Recipes for Love”) sits down with Benjamin Byrne, content creator The Smiling Afro, for a conversation about reinvention, aging, grief, and the tender shadows that shape our relationships with ourselves and others.

Cheryl spent 16 years in broadcasting, a world where youth, energy, and visibility are currency. Walking away from that career forced her into a new season of life, one where identity had to be rebuilt from the inside out. Alongside this transition came the physical and emotional realities of perimenopause and menopause, experiences often shrouded in silence and stigma. Cheryl opens up about navigating shifting hormones, fluctuating energy, and a changing sense of self-worth in a world that can make aging women feel invisible.

But the shadows run deeper. Cheryl’s journey through late marriage, IVF, miscarriage, and the grief of unrealised motherhood reshaped her understanding of love and lineage. She speaks gently about learning to hold both acceptance and sorrow, and how her marriage evolved through these seasons of loss and longing. Her story reveals how relationships transform not just through joy, but through the courage to confront what cannot be controlled.

This episode explores what it means to redefine strength, to reclaim visibility, and to honour the body and life you have today, not the one you expected to have. Cheryl shows how aging can become an act of empowerment, and how love can deepen when you stop measuring your life against milestones you never reached.

If you’ve ever:

— Faced a major life transition that asked you to let go of who you were

— Struggled with a changing body or sense of identity

— Carried silent grief about paths that didn’t unfold

— Questioned your relevance or visibility as you age

— Longed to find meaning beyond traditional markers of success…

This episode is your reminder that reinvention takes courage and integration of parts you have not seen or accepted.

And sometimes, the shadows of what didn’t happen illuminate the journey of who you’ve grown to be.

#CleanYourToiletPodcast #Shadows #Relationships #MidlifeCrisis #Reinvention #Menopause #Perimenopause #Identity #InnerWork #PersonalMastery #Acceptance #Podcast #Singapore

What happens when the person you love most also becomes the person who triggers you the most?

And what if the relationship you’re trying to build publicly is the one you’re still learning to build privately?

In this episode of the Clean Your Toilet Podcast, Lee Jing Lin & Liu Zhiqun, co-founders of KopiDate, join Benjamin Byrne, content creator The Smiling Afro to peel back the layers of modern relationships and the shadows that shape them.

Zhi Qun and Jing's relationship journey embodies the essence of KopiDate, having started out as friends, then business partners before becoming romantic partners and now parents. They help thousands date with intention, yet they found themselves being shaped, sometimes uncomfortably, by the very principles they teach. Working together magnified everything: attachment styles, insecurities, conflict patterns, childhood conditioning, and the silent expectations they didn’t realise they were carrying until they collided.

They speak honestly about the inherited stories from their families, the fights that broke them open, the tenderness that rebuilt them, and how therapy, self-awareness, and conscious communication reshaped their partnership from the inside out.

At the heart of this episode is the simple truth that every relationship is a mirror reflecting both our deepest capacity for love and the parts of ourselves we’d rather avoid.

If you’ve ever:

— Repeated the same conflicts without knowing why

— Loved someone who triggers your oldest wounds

— Carried your family’s emotional habits into adulthood

— Felt torn between connection and self-protection

— Wanted to love intentionally instead of on autopilot…

This episode meets you where you are.

Healthy love doesn't happen by accident, it is built brick by brick, truth by truth, shadow by shadow.

GOODIES FROM UNPACKT!

- Mention 'CLEANYOURTOILETPODCAST' at the counter for:

15% off with a minimum spend of $15 on weekdays.

10% off with a minimum spend of $15 on weekends.

#CleanYourToiletPodcast #Shadows #Relationships #ConsciousDating #AttachmentStyles #InnerWork #Podcast #Singapore #PersonalMastery #Intention

Beyond a group or community, what does it truly mean to find belonging within yourself?

And what happens when the parts of you that never seem to fit are actually the ones trying to lead you home?

In this episode of the Clean Your Toilet Podcast, Andee Chua, Founder of OFFFORM, sits down with Benjamin Byrne, the Smiling Afro, for a conversation that cuts straight to the heart of identity, acceptance, and the shadows we carry into every relationship.

Growing up navigating family expectations, school environments, the gay community, and creative and corporate worlds, Andee learned early that visibility can be both celebration and scrutiny. He shares candidly about the years he spent shape-shifting: softening his edges and amplifying his strengths to fit into spaces that were never built for him. But beneath the confidence was a quieter longing: to be seen without performance.

Andee explores the emotional inheritance of a conflict-avoidant family, the pressure of being the “stable one,” and the cost of being the listener who rarely gets listened to. He opens up about relationships that mirrored his deepest insecurities, and the inner work required to reclaim vulnerability and self-trust.

If you’ve ever found yourself:

— Balancing authenticity with acceptance

— Feeling like an outsider even among your own people

— Taking care of everyone else while hiding your own needs

— Being strong while secretly craving softness

— Learning to trust that you’re allowed to be fully seen…

This episode reminds you that belonging isn’t something you find, it’s something you choose.

And sometimes, the parts you spent years trying to “fix” are the ones that finally set you free.

#CleanYourToiletPodcast #Shadows #Relationships #Belonging #Identity #InnerWork #Podcast #Singapore #SelfLove #PersonalMastery

What happens when the world teaches you to shrink yourself long before you learn how to love yourself?

And who do you become when the body you’ve spent years fighting finally becomes the body you choose to honour?

In this episode of the Clean Your Toilet Podcast, Cheryl Tay, Chief Editor, Baseline Media and Founder, Rock The Naked Truth, sits down with Benjamin Byrne, content creator The Smiling Afro, for a conversation that moves through shame, courage, identity, and the unspoken shadows we carry in our relationships — especially the relationship we have with ourselves.

Cheryl’s journey began with years of dieting, over-exercising, and striving for a body that felt “acceptable” enough to earn love, visibility, and belonging. She shares candidly about the internal narratives that shaped her adolescence and early adulthood — the belief that worthiness was tied to perfection, discipline, and physical control. But it wasn’t just about size; it was about safety. About hiding the parts of herself she feared others might judge.

Her relational world cracked open when she fell in love with someone unexpected — a woman, her best friend. This love forced her to confront the biggest shadow of all: the fear of losing belonging for choosing truth. Coming out meant risking family acceptance, unsettling cultural expectations, and standing firm in a version of herself that didn’t fit the script she was raised with. It required courage, grief, and a deep re-examination of love as not something you “earn,” but something you allow.

Through therapy and self-exploration, Cheryl learned to dismantle the emotional habits of over-giving, people-pleasing, and self-abandonment. She now sees love — romantic and platonic — as a space where honesty is the highest form of intimacy.

If you’ve ever found yourself:

— Feeling unworthy because of your body or your past

— Afraid to be fully seen by the people who matter most

— Torn between belonging and authenticity

— Loving someone who challenges old definitions of identity

— Or trying to break the cycle of self-abandonment…

This episode is for you.

It’s a reminder that love doesn’t demand perfection —

it demands presence.

And the moment you stop performing is the moment you finally come home to yourself.

GOODIES FROM WILDFLOWER STUDIOS!

- Use code CLEANYOURTOILET at checkout for $40 off their ‘Chill & Paint with Cats’ workshop. An hour is $20 per person, so they want to encourage you to bring a friend or family member!

- 10 codes valid till end January 2026

#CleanYourToiletPodcast #Shadow #Relationships #Podcast #Singapore #BodyImage

What happens when the life you built suddenly no longer fits?

And how do you learn to love a body, a future, and an identity that look nothing like what you once imagined?

In this episode of the Clean Your Toilet Podcast, Cheryl Miles, founder of Miles Nixon Media and author (“Smitten in the Kitchen, 60 Recipes for Love”) sits down with Benjamin Byrne, content creator The Smiling Afro, for a conversation about reinvention, aging, grief, and the tender shadows that shape our relationships with ourselves and others.

Cheryl spent 16 years in broadcasting, a world where youth, energy, and visibility are currency. Walking away from that career forced her into a new season of life, one where identity had to be rebuilt from the inside out. Alongside this transition came the physical and emotional realities of perimenopause and menopause, experiences often shrouded in silence and stigma. Cheryl opens up about navigating shifting hormones, fluctuating energy, and a changing sense of self-worth in a world that can make aging women feel invisible.

But the shadows run deeper. Cheryl’s journey through late marriage, IVF, miscarriage, and the grief of unrealised motherhood reshaped her understanding of love and lineage. She speaks gently about learning to hold both acceptance and sorrow, and how her marriage evolved through these seasons of loss and longing. Her story reveals how relationships transform not just through joy, but through the courage to confront what cannot be controlled.

This episode explores what it means to redefine strength, to reclaim visibility, and to honour the body and life you have today, not the one you expected to have. Cheryl shows how aging can become an act of empowerment, and how love can deepen when you stop measuring your life against milestones you never reached.

If you’ve ever:

— Faced a major life transition that asked you to let go of who you were

— Struggled with a changing body or sense of identity

— Carried silent grief about paths that didn’t unfold

— Questioned your relevance or visibility as you age

— Longed to find meaning beyond traditional markers of success…

This episode is your reminder that reinvention takes courage and integration of parts you have not seen or accepted.

And sometimes, the shadows of what didn’t happen illuminate the journey of who you’ve grown to be.

#CleanYourToiletPodcast #Shadows #Relationships #MidlifeCrisis #Reinvention #Menopause #Perimenopause #Identity #InnerWork #PersonalMastery #Acceptance #Podcast #Singapore

What do you do when your deepest longing is also your deepest source of pain?

How do you stay connected to yourself and the people you love, and continue to persist when life throws you challenges that wear down and break your spirit? How do you continue forward in a dark endless tunnel where you struggle to see the light at the end?

In this episode of the Clean Your Toilet Podcast, Rafidah Jalil, edutainer (Kak Fifi and Mimi), volunteer & director, Fertility Support SG, sits down with Benjamin Byrne, content creator The Smiling Afro, to share a journey shaped by uncertainty, heartbreak, surrender, and the quiet resilience required to keep choosing hope.

Before becoming a mother, Rafidah was a high-achieving SVP in a bank. She worked hard, planned well, and excelled under pressure. But infertility disrupted every formula she knew. Multiple IVF cycles, miscarriage, and years of waiting pulled her into emotional territory no career success had ever prepared her for. She speaks with honesty about the shadows of this journey: the loneliness of silent grief, thoughts of suicide, the spiritual exhaustion of praying without guarantees, and the identity crisis that comes from feeling like you can’t “achieve” the life you imagined.

This conversation explores how infertility reshaped her marriage: revealing the limits of strength, the importance of communication, and the deep vulnerability required to let someone walk with you through pain they cannot fully understand. She shares how her lowest moments opened doors to unexpected connection: community, shared stories, and the healing that comes not from solutions, but from being seen by others who understand.

Today, as a mother of three, Rafidah carries her past not as a wound, but as wisdom. She holds the paradox of joy and grief, gain and loss and shows how relationships deepen when we flow with what life brings, instead of hardening ourselves.

If you’ve ever:

— Faced a season of waiting with no clear ending

— Questioned your worth when things fell apart

— Struggled to communicate pain you can barely name

— Carried grief quietly because you didn’t know where it belonged

— Or learned to surrender a life that didn’t go to plan…

This episode is a tender reminder that surrender is not weakness, it is the moment your heart makes space for something new.

#CleanYourToiletPodcast #Shadows #Relationships #InnerWork #PersonalMastery #InfertilityJourney #Grief #Healing #Marriage #IVF #LettingGo #Podcast #Singapore

Beyond a group or community, what does it truly mean to find belonging within yourself?

And what happens when the parts of you that never seem to fit are actually the ones trying to lead you home?

In this episode of the Clean Your Toilet Podcast, Andee Chua, Founder of OFFFORM, sits down with Benjamin Byrne, the Smiling Afro, for a conversation that cuts straight to the heart of identity, acceptance, and the shadows we carry into every relationship.

Growing up navigating family expectations, school environments, the gay community, and creative and corporate worlds, Andee learned early that visibility can be both celebration and scrutiny. He shares candidly about the years he spent shape-shifting: softening his edges and amplifying his strengths to fit into spaces that were never built for him. But beneath the confidence was a quieter longing: to be seen without performance.

Andee explores the emotional inheritance of a conflict-avoidant family, the pressure of being the “stable one,” and the cost of being the listener who rarely gets listened to. He opens up about relationships that mirrored his deepest insecurities, and the inner work required to reclaim vulnerability and self-trust.

If you’ve ever found yourself:

— Balancing authenticity with acceptance

— Feeling like an outsider even among your own people

— Taking care of everyone else while hiding your own needs

— Being strong while secretly craving softness

— Learning to trust that you’re allowed to be fully seen…

This episode reminds you that belonging isn’t something you find, it’s something you choose.

And sometimes, the parts you spent years trying to “fix” are the ones that finally set you free.

#CleanYourToiletPodcast #Shadows #Relationships #Belonging #Identity #InnerWork #Podcast #Singapore #SelfLove #PersonalMastery