We’re often told that saying yes to everything will be the key to our success. It’ll strengthen our relationships, enhance our reputation, and help us achieve our goals.

But what if the reverse were true? What if learning how to say no is the game changer? What if mastering this skill is the way to achieve our goals?

Vanessa Patrick has written a book on the subject titled, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No That Puts You in Charge of Your Life.

There are so many factors that influence whether we achieve our goals, things like focus, persistence, and resilience. After reading Vanessa’s book, I’d add knowing how and when to say no.

Episode Links

Getting to Gutsy: Using Personal Policies to Enhance (and Reclaim) Agency in the Workplace

How to Say “No”: Conviction and Identity Attributions in Persuasive Refusal

Juggling Work and Home Selves: Low Identity Integration Feels Less Authentic and Increases Unethicality

The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin

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Learn more about host, Gayle Allen, and producer, Rob Mancabelli, here.

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CM 248: Vanessa Patrick On How To Say No

Want to get better at work? At managing others? Managing yourself? Gayle Allen interviews experts who take your performance to the next level. Each episode features a book with insights to help you achieve your goals.

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We crave meaning and purpose, yet obtaining them can feel beyond our control, like they're merely products of luck and circumstance. Fortunately, researchers who’ve studied the power of ritual have found they’re more in our control than we think. 

In this interview, I talk to one of these researchers, psychologist Michael Norton. He shares how rituals, especially ones we create, can provide the meaning and purpose we crave. And, unlike habits, rituals operate on an emotional level that deepens the experience.

In his book, The Ritual Effect: From Habit to Ritual, Harness the Surprising Power of Everyday Actions, Norton shares what rituals are, why they matter, and how they can help bolster us throughout our lives.

Episode Links

The Calming Power of Rituals

Forget Habits in the New Year. Find Joy in Rituals with Others

Breaking up Can Be Easier if You Have a Ritual

Interview with Eduardo Briceno on The Performance Paradox

The Team

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CM 264: Michael Norton on How Rituals Improve Our Lives

At some point, we all get stuck. Maybe it’s in a job or career. Maybe it’s a relationship or business venture.

Though it’s something we all experience, when it happens, we can feel alone and out of our depth. Emotions may overwhelm us. Mental traps lure is in. In no time at all, we can’t see a way out.

Award-winning professor, researcher, and author, Adam Alter, has spent decades studying how successful people get unstuck. In his latest book, Anatomy of a Breakthrough: How to Get Unstuck When It Matters Most, he shares what we can do to move forward. Adam’s recommendations can help us with what might be the most important times in our lives.

Episode Links

Life is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at Any Age by Bruce Feiler

How the ‘Creative-Cliff Illusion’ Limits Our Ideas by David Robson

Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

The Team

Learn more about host, Gayle Allen, and producer, Rob Mancabelli, here.

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CM 263: Adam Alter on Simple Ways to Get Unstuck – Rebroadcast

When we’re feeling stuck, it’s tempting to believe more thinking is the answer. We stew and we ponder, and then we double down on solutions we’ve tried before. It’s no wonder we start to feel like we just can’t figure it out.

But what would happen if we put thinking aside and tried something else? Author and researcher, Norman Farb, has learned that there’s an entire canvas of sensory experience we can access any time we want. And by tapping into our senses, we may find ways to feel better. It’s what Norm writes about in his book, Better in Every Sense: How the New Science of Sensation Can Help You Reclaim Your life.

By the time I reached the last page of this book, I felt like I’d been let in on an incredible set of tools for enriching my life. 

Episode Links

How Your 5 Senses Can Help You Stop Worrying

Feeling Sensations, Including Ones Connected to Sadness, May Be Key to Depression Recovery

Attending to the Present: Mindfulness Meditation Reveals Distinct Neural Modes of Self-Reference

Interview with Britt Frank on The Science of Stuck

The Team

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CM 262: Norman Farb on the Science of Sensation



When we think of geeks, we tend to think of the people who built the tech we use – from our smartphones to search engines to AI.  

But if we just focus on the tech, we’re missing out on a lot. We’re overlooking how these same geeks reinvented corporate culture using a repeatable set of norms that ensure sustainable innovation.

Andrew McAfee is a principal research scientist at the MIT Sloan School of Management and cofounder and codirector of the MIT Initiative on the Digital Economy. He’s been studying innovative companies for decades, and he’s taken what he’s learned and written about it in his latest book, The Geek Way: The Radical Mindset that Drives Extraordinary Results. 

I’m convinced what Andrew’s learned about the geek way – and its four key norms – is a roadmap for where today’s – and tomorrow’s - companies are headed. 

Episode Links

The Geek Way

New Book Explains the ‘Geek Way’ to Manage a Company

Forward Thinking on How Geeks are Changing the World

Interview with Roger Martin

The Team

Learn more about host, Gayle Allen, and producer, Rob Mancabelli, here.

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CM 261: Andrew McAfee on the Geek Way

There’s more to being a workaholic than working long hours. Consider what motivates you to work more. Where you’re spending your energy. Think about the impact those longer hours have on family and friends. 

These are some of the distinctions Malissa Clark makes in her book, Never Not Working: Why the Always-on Culture is Bad for Business and How to Fix it. She not only shares a helpful framework for thinking about workaholism but gives us ways to recognize it. Equally helpful, she explains steps we – and our organizations – can take to undo it. 

Malissa’s book is a great resource for assessing workaholic tendencies and for changing them – as individuals, teams, and organizations.

Episode Links

Are You a Workaholic? Don’t Wear it as a Badge of Honor

These are the Four Drivers of Workaholism

Thomas Curran on The Perfection Trap

The Team

Learn more about host, Gayle Allen, and producer, Rob Mancabelli, here.

Support the Podcast

If you like the show, please rate and review it on iTunes or wherever you subscribe, and tell a friend or family member about the show.

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CM 248: Vanessa Patrick On How To Say No

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