Most of us long to connect and, as social creatures, it makes sense that we not only want this but need human relationships to live a healthy life.

With numbers on loneliness and polarization continuing to climb, I wanted to speak with someone who’s focused on the antidote, that is, connection. It led me to speak with Kate Murphy, author of the book, Why We Click: The Emerging Science of Interpersonal Synchrony.

Kate’s done a deep dive on the importance of connection from multiple perspectives: individuals, teams, even pets. She shares behaviors that create connection, along with those that don’t. I’m seeing connection in a whole new way – thanks Kate!

Episode Links

You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters by Kate Murphy

Interview with Zach Mercurio, author of The Power of Mattering

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Decisions tax our brains. Whether it’s deciding which shows to watch or which products to buy, the choices are endless and can feel exhausting.

That’s where status comes in.

Researchers have learned that status is a mental short-cut we turn to when we’re feeling stuck. It’s an invisible force that guides decision-making and drives our choices.

And it comes at a cost.

Toby Stuart has written a book on status called Anointed: The Extraordinary Effects of Social Status in a Winner-Take-Most World. Given how important status is in our society and how invisible of a force it can be, I wanted to talk to him about what he’s learned and what role he thinks AI might play in dismantling it.

Episode Links

The Extraordinary Effects of Status on Society by Vikas Shah

Where Success Really Comes From by Guy Kawasaki

When Status Outranks Skills at Work by Freda L. Thomas

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Each day, millions of doctors write prescriptions for drugs intended to help their patients. But what if many of our modern health ailments, like depression, anxiety, and chronic pain, would benefit as much, if not more, from a social prescription?

What if nature, art, movement, and service could reduce our symptoms, decrease doctor visits, and improve our health?

These are questions Julia Hotz set out to answer. Julia is author of the book, The Connection Cure: The Prescriptive Power of Movement, Nature, Art, Service, and Belonging. By sharing research findings, as well as people’s stories from around the world, we get to see a whole other side of medicine.

After reading her book, I’m more convinced than ever we need to seek out and prioritize healthy social time.

Episode Links

New Horizons in Medicine: Why Art, Service, and Nature Might Be What the Doctor Orders

What If Your Doctor Could Prescribe Fishing Trips or Art Classes? Social Prescribing on the Rise

Doctor’s Orders: A Social Prescription for Health

Interview with Geoffrey Cohen

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I have a confession to make. I enjoy talking to people I don't know. I like learning about them and hearing their stories. I'm sure it explains why I started this podcast over ten years ago.

Yet I know a lot of people who avoid talking to strangers. And if, for any reason, they have to, they dread it. But these feelings of dread work against us. Study after study shows that when we talk to strangers, we nearly always feel good afterwards.

And in a time where people feel more isolated and lonely than ever, the good feeling that comes from talking to strangers may be just the thing we need to bring us closer together.

That's why I reached out to Joe Keohane to talk to him about his incredibly entertaining and enlightening book, The Power of Strangers: The Benefits of Connecting in a Suspicious World. He explains how we got to be so suspicious of strangers and what it's cost us. And for anyone who avoids talking to strangers because they don't know what to say, he's got you covered. Joe shares things he's learned from workshops he attended while writing the book. 

Episode Links

Why Talking to Strangers Can Make Us Smarter

'The Assignment Made Me Gulp': Could Talking to Strangers Change My Life?

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https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/curiousminds/CM_306_Jennifer_Garvey_Berger.mp3

In today’s hyper-connected world, when you want to communicate, you’ve got so many alternatives to talking. But before you spend another minute drafting a text or email, consider how essential it is for us to talk to others.

Talking – whether self-talk, sign language, or in-person speaking – is a process we need for learning, setting goals, and managing our emotions. That’s because talking is a multi-step process, and to do it well, we can’t skip a step.

Maryellen MacDonald is a Professor of Psychology and Language Sciences at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. Her book, More Than Words: How Talking Sharpens the Mind and Shapes Our World, gives us many reasons to prioritize talking in our lives. It’s a key component of a healthy life.

Episode Links

How Can You Get Better at Learning a Foreign Language?

Good-Enough Production: Selecting Easier Words instead of More Accurate Ones

Interview with Alison Wood Brooks on her book, Talk

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How we think about toughness needs a reset. Too often, it’s been associated with brute forcing our way through things. Ignoring our feelings. Making an outward show of confidence and dominance.

The problem is it just doesn't work.

Performance coach and bestselling author, Steve Magness, offers another way. He’s done a deep dive on the latest research on toughness and performance. In his book, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and The Surprising Science of Real Toughness, he discusses the misconceptions of our current model. Then he offers a new one informed by the latest in neuroscience and psychology research. Along the way, he translates research findings into practical steps we can take to make the shift.

If you’re a performance junkie, you’ll gain a lot from this interview. You can also apply his ideas to managing your teams. If you enjoy Steve’s approach, check out my previous interview with him on finding your passion at work and in life, episode 142.

Episode Links

How to be More Resilient, According to an Elite Performance Coach

The Secret to Developing Resilient Teams and Organizations

Changing This 1 Word in Your Thoughts Can Boost Mental Toughness and Resilience, Psychologists Say

Steven Callahan

Atlas Obscura: An Explorer’s Guide to the World’s Hidden Wonders by Joshua Foer, Dylan Thuras, and Ella Morton

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You’re days into a work project, staring at a screen, feeling anxious about your tight deadline. Mid-afternoon your phone lights up with a call from a friend. You want to connect, but you feel like you don’t have a minute to spare. You let the call go into voicemail.

On the surface, this decision may seem inconsequential. But what if you knew that a decision like this, centered on an opportunity for social connection, could make a difference in the health of your brain? Would you make time for the call?

Ben Rein is author of the book, Why Brains Needs Friends: The Neuroscience of Social Connection. He studies the impact of social interactions on brain health and helps us understand, at a cellular level, the biological importance of human relationships.

After listening to this interview, you may find yourself picking up the phone a whole lot more.

Episode Links

Wired for Connection, Cursed by Computers: How Social Media May Be Affecting Our Empathy

The Sci-Fi Hypothesis that Explains Why You Click with Certain People

Interview With Kasley Killam

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Digital exhaustion is real. We’re working across more apps than ever before, and since they’re always accessible, work-life boundaries have disappeared. Combine this with our personal tech, and we’ve got a recipe for burnout.

Paul Leonardi is a Professor of Technology Management at the University of California, Santa Barbara. After decades of business consulting, he’s had a front-row seat to employees’ digital burnout. What he saw led him to create concrete solutions, which he outlines in his latest book, Digital Exhaustion: Simple Rules for Reclaiming Your Life.

These are smart and sensible strategies leaders can put into practice to improve employees’ quality of life – and work.

Episode Links

Developing a Digital Mindset

Are Collaboration Tools Overwhelming Your Team

Interview with Gloria Mark

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We spend a lot of our lives in groups. Whether it’s at work. With friends. Even with family. Yet we tend to focus on everyone as individuals. We rarely think about things from the group’s perspective.

Colin Fisher is an expert in organizational behavior and an associate professor at University College London, and he wants to change that. His book, The Collective Edge: Unlocking the Secret Power of Groups, is his insightful attempt at sharing the latest insights on high-performing teams and how to lead them.

Episode Links

Top Six Tips for Terrific Teams

5 Secrets for Getting the Most out of Working as a Group

Interview with Keith Sawyer on groups’ collective genius

The Team

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