Giving and receiving feedback is one of the hardest things we do at work and most of us just... avoid it.

But avoiding feedback has a cost. Everything you need to grow is already in the room and it's just sitting in your blind spot. Your colleagues can see it. Your boss can see it. And nobody will tell you, unless you learn to ask.

Feelings at Work is a special five-part series from A Bit of Optimism, where Simon Sinek and Alex Simon, founder of LifeShop, explore the human skills that shape how we work, lead, and build relationships. Together, they unpack the emotional challenges most of us face every day—from people pleasing and listening to giving feedback, taking accountability, and having difficult conversations. 

In this episode, Alex and Simon take on feedback: how to give it, how to take it, and how to ask for it. 

You’ll discover ways to give feedback people can actually hear, receive criticism without taking it personally, and build a feedback culture on any team. Alex and Simon share practical techniques like the one-word ritual Simon borrowed from the Air Force that made his whole company crave critiques, the “FBI” method for delivering hard feedback without blowing up relationships, and questions Alex asks her team to surface everything left unsaid, like "What are you afraid to tell me?"

In this episode you'll learn:

➡️ Why we avoid giving feedback + what that avoidance quietly costs our teams 

➡️ "Spears": the Air Force ritual that turns criticism into something people actually want 

➡️ The “FBI” (Feelings, Behavior, Impact) method for giving feedback people can actually hear 

➡️ The Army Rangers' peer assessment’s "foxhole question" + what it reveals about character 

➡️ How to think of feedback as preventative care and build that muscle

➡️ Why everyone receives feedback differently (+ how to give people what they need)

➡️ When to give feedback (hint: never the moment you think of it) 

➡️ The four-word habit that builds a thick skin: "What can I do better?"

Whether you're leading a team, managing up, or just tired of side-texting about a problem no one will name out loud, feedback is one of the most valuable skills you can build. 

And remember: feedback is kind, even when it’s not nice.

This... is A Bit of Optimism.

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• 00:00:00 The Spinach in Your Teeth Problem: Why Nobody Tells You
• 00:03:48 The Story of Two Failed Feedback Sessions
• 00:06:37 Why Feedback Obsession Changes Everything
• 00:08:05 The Company That Was Too Nice to Give Feedback
• 00:10:35 Army Rangers and the Three-Level Evaluation System
• 00:14:24 Why Giving Feedback Feels So Hard
• 00:17:16 Spears: The Air Force Technique That Changed Everything
• 00:20:08 All the Information You Need Is in Your Blind Spot
• 00:22:28 FBI: The Three-Part Formula for Feedback That Lands
• 00:25:37 Why Vague Praise Doesn't Help Anyone
• 00:27:16 Credit Is Free: Recognition Languages at Work
• 00:31:05 The Collaboration Meeting: Preventing Problems Before They Start
• 00:42:34 The Air Force Commander Who Cried Every Night for Six Months
• 00:45:08 When to Give Feedback: Not When You Think of It
• 00:47:24 The Virtuous Cycle: What Happens When You Get Feedback Right
• 00:49:08 How to Build the Muscle of Receiving Feedback
• 00:51:43 Generational Difference For Feedback
• 00:52:57 One Simple Question: What Can I Do Better?
• 00:55:49 Feedback Is Kind Even When It's Not Nice

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Website: http://simonsinek.com/

Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful

Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek

Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/

Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek

+ + +

Alex Simon is the founder of Lifeshop, a school for adult emotional education and teaches emotional intelligence at Yale University. She teaches the emotional and communication skills we all should've learned in school—but didn't.

She facilitates experiential workshops on how to have hard conversations, stop people pleasing, listen better, navigate major life transitions, and build healthier relationships. Her sessions are practical, deeply connective, and somehow shockingly fun.

When she was 27, Alex created The Self & Other: In Theory and Practice, one of Yale's most sought-after courses.

In 2025, she founded Lifeshop in New York to bring emotional education beyond the classroom and into everyday life. She also launched The School of Life in New York and leads workshops for organizations around the world.

Before dedicating her career to emotional education, Alex worked as a management consultant at Bain and held strategy and operations roles across industries. She has also lived and trained at Plum Village and Esalen and completed dozens of programs in mindfulness, communication, and personal development.

The fastest way to improve your relationships isn't talking. It's listening.

Most of us hear what's being said. Very few of us know how to make someone feel heard.

Feelings at Work is a special five-part series from A Bit of Optimism, where Simon Sinek and Alex Simon, founder of LifeShop, explore the human skills that shape how we work, lead, and build relationships. Together, they unpack the emotional challenges most of us face every day—from people pleasing and listening to giving feedback, taking accountability, and having difficult conversations.

In this episode, they explore one of the most important communication skills we can develop: listening.

Together, they share practical techniques to improve your listening skills, build trust, navigate difficult conversations, and create better outcomes at work and at home. You'll learn why people often ask for one thing but actually need another, how to stop jumping into fix-it mode, and Alex's simple Four-Second Rule for becoming a better listener.

When people feel heard, relationships grow stronger, conflicts become easier to navigate, and conversations become more meaningful.

Because better conversations don't require everyone to be a great listener.

They only require one.

In this episode you'll learn:

➡️ Why hearing someone isn't the same as making them feel heard

➡️ How to stop jumping into "fix-it mode" and start listening with curiosity

➡️ Alex Simon's simple Four-Second Rule for becoming a better listener

➡️ Why people often ask for one thing but actually need something else

➡️ How better listening builds trust, strengthens relationships, and improves teamwork

➡️ How to navigate conversations when power dynamics are involved

Whether you're leading a team, supporting a friend, or navigating a difficult conversation, listening is one of the most valuable skills you can develop.

Because when people feel heard, relationships grow stronger, conflict becomes easier to navigate, and better conversations follow.

This... is A Bit of Optimism.

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• 00:00:00 Listening to Understand vs Listening to Be Right
• 00:00:38 Why Most of Us Are Bad Listeners
• 00:02:08 What People Ask For vs What They Actually Want
• 00:02:53 The Four-Second Rule for Better Listening
• 00:04:05 Defining What Listening Is NOT
• 00:05:42 Listening Beyond Words: Tone, Volume, and Subtext
• 00:06:33 The Problem With Knee-Jerk Problem Solving
• 00:07:14 The Real Story: When We Failed to Listen and Lost an Employee
• 00:10:56 Needs vs Strategies: Understanding What's Really Being Asked
• 00:12:28 Being Present: The Social Benefit of Meditation
• 00:15:48 Body Language: Squaring Up and Putting Phones Away
• 00:18:26 Listening With Warm Eyes That Believe in Them
• 00:21:50 When Defensiveness Gets in the Way
• 00:26:46 The Four-Second Rule in Action
• 00:29:28 Is There More? The Buddhist Question That Peels Back Layers
• 00:31:11 Creating Self-Reliance Through Listening
• 00:34:26 Listening and Power Dynamics at Work
• 00:35:16 Creating Safety So People Don't Withhold Information
• 00:36:08 Why People Repeat Themselves Over and Over
• 00:37:45 Reflective Listening: When to Mirror Back What You Hear
• 00:40:11 Be As You Wish to Seem: Authenticity in Listening
• 00:41:42 Listening Up: Understanding What Your Boss Actually Needs
• 00:42:49 The One Degree Off Problem
• 00:45:18 Asking Questions Depersonalizes Criticism
• 00:47:02 Listening Is a Muscle You Can Build

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Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together.

Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do.

Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game.

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Website: http://simonsinek.com/

Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful

Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek

Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/

Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek

+ + +

Alex Simon is the founder of Lifeshop, a school for adult emotional education and teaches emotional intelligence at Yale University. She teaches the emotional and communication skills we all should've learned in school—but didn't.

She facilitates experiential workshops on how to have hard conversations, stop people pleasing, listen better, navigate major life transitions, and build healthier relationships. Her sessions are practical, deeply connective, and somehow shockingly fun.

When she was 27, Alex created The Self & Other: In Theory and Practice, one of Yale's most sought-after courses.

In 2025, she founded Lifeshop in New York to bring emotional education beyond the classroom and into everyday life. She also launched The School of Life in New York and leads workshops for organizations around the world.

Before dedicating her career to emotional education, Alex worked as a management consultant at Bain and held strategy and operations roles across industries. She has also lived and trained at Plum Village and Esalen and completed dozens of programs in mindfulness, communication, and personal development.

Welcome to Feelings at Work, a special series from A Bit of Optimism with Simon Sinek. 

Work isn't just about deadlines, meetings, and getting things done. It's also where we experience frustration, excitement, trust, anxiety, belonging, conflict, and joy. If we want to build healthier teams and better workplaces, we have to get better at understanding the emotions that shape how we work together.

That's what this series is about.

In each episode, Simon Sinek sits down with Yale professor and Lifeshop founder Alex Simon to explore one emotional challenge that affects how we work, lead, and relate to one another. Together, they unpack the emotional skills most of us were never taught—but use every single day.

This episode is about saying yes.

Have you ever agreed to something... and immediately regretted it?

Maybe you didn't want to disappoint someone. Maybe you thought, I'll figure it out somehow. Maybe your calendar is packed, your to-do list never gets shorter, and somehow you're still worried you're letting people down.

Most of us don't think of ourselves as "people pleasers."

We just want to be helpful. We want to be dependable. We want to be someone others can count on.

But what if constantly saying yes is actually making things harder—for you and everyone around you?

Together, Simon and Alex explore why so many thoughtful, capable people take on more than they can realistically handle. They unpack the hidden patterns that lead to overwhelm, resentment, and burnout—and why trying to keep everyone happy can quietly make us less reliable.

The good news? This is a skill we can learn.

In this conversation, you'll discover practical ways to communicate more honestly, set healthier boundaries, and build stronger relationships—without feeling selfish or letting people down.

In this episode you'll learn: 

➡️ Why saying yes too often can actually make you less reliable

➡️ The hidden connection between overwhelm, burnout, and self-betrayal

➡️ The simple phrase that creates space before committing 

➡️ A better alternative to saying yes or no: how to "share the dilemma"

➡️ What leaders can do to create teams where people feel safe telling the truth

➡️ Why healthy boundaries strengthen relationships instead of hurting them

Whether you call it people pleasing or simply trying to keep up with everyone else's expectations, this conversation is a reminder that taking care of yourself isn't selfish.

It's one of the best ways to show up for the people who matter.

This... is A Bit of Optimism.

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Chapters

• 00:00:00 Why We Need to Talk About Feelings at Work
• 00:02:00 What People Pleasing Actually Looks Like
• 00:04:20 Why People Pleasing Hurts You and Your Team
• 00:07:00 Why We Say Yes When We Mean No
• 00:10:00 Different Types of People Pleasing
• 00:13:00 Why Approval Can Become Addictive
• 00:15:00 How People Pleasing Leads to Burnout
• 00:18:00 The Hidden Cost of Being "Hyper Competent"
• 00:21:00 Why People Pleasing Doesn't Actually Help People
• 00:27:30 Simon's Experience With Saying Yes to Too Much
• 00:31:00 How Leaders Can Help People Pleasers
• 00:38:20 The Power of "Let Me Get Back to You"
• 00:40:00 How to "Share the Dilemma"
• 00:44:00 The Difference Between Being Reliable and Being Available
• 00:47:00 Building Healthier Boundaries at Work

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Website: http://simonsinek.com/

Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful

Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek

Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/

Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek

+ + +

Alex Simon is a Yale professor and the founder of Lifeshop, a school for adult emotional education. She teaches the emotional and communication skills we all should've learned in school—but didn't.

She facilitates experiential workshops on how to have hard conversations, stop people pleasing, listen better, navigate major life transitions, and build healthier relationships. Her sessions are practical, deeply connective, and somehow shockingly fun.

When she was 27, Alex created The Self & Other: In Theory and Practice, one of Yale's most sought-after courses.

In 2025, she founded Lifeshop in New York to bring emotional education beyond the classroom and into everyday life. She also launched The School of Life in New York and leads workshops for organizations around the world.

Before dedicating her career to emotional education, Alex worked as a management consultant at Bain and held strategy and operations roles across industries. She has also lived and trained at Plum Village and Esalen and completed dozens of programs in mindfulness, communication, and personal development.

Maybe this sounds familiar: you fall hard for someone, and over a year later you're fighting about the very things that drew you to them in the first place. And you can't figure out how the person who felt so right suddenly feels so wrong.

Dr. Harville Hendrix has spent 50 years studying love. And he’s also lived through its hardest challenges: one divorce, two near-misses in his current marriage, and a couple’s therapist who fired him and his wife, calling them "the couple from hell." That marriage is now 45 years strong.

Harville is a couples therapist, and alongside his wife and creative partner Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt, they creator Imago Relationship Therapy. They’ve also written 10 books, including the bestseller Getting the Love You Want, the book that made him a fixture on Oprah for nearly two decades. Harville’s theory is this: we don't consciously choose who we fall for, rather our unconscious does. And it has an agenda.

In this episode you'll learn:
➡️ Why you keep falling for the same person
➡️ What your childhood has to do with who you swipe right on
➡️ Why the "power struggle" phase might mean you picked the right person
➡️ The shift that saved Harville's own marriage after divorce papers were filed
➡️ Why some of us can't receive love (even when we ask for it)
➡️ What arranged marriages understood about commitment that we forgot
➡️ The difference between equal relationships and egalitarian ones
➡️ How to reach the stage where you have no needs left… only wants

In this conversation, Harville makes the case that real romantic love is what gets built after the fantasy collapses, when two people commit to the work of meeting each other's needs instead of demanding their own. And the engine of that transformation goes beyond compatibility and chemistry—it's gratitude and service.

This… is A Bit of Optimism.

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Want to keep up with Harville’s work? Check out: https://harvilleandhelen.com/

If you’d like to buy Harville & Helen’s latest book, How to Talk with Anyone about Anything, head to: https://harvilleandhelen.com/books/how-to-talk-with-anyone-about-anything/

+ + +

Chapters

• 00:00:00 Nature's Agenda: Why We Fall for the Wrong Person
• 00:02:02 From Sharecropper's Farm to Oprah: Harville's Unexpected Journey
• 00:06:07 The 30-Second Encounters That Changed Everything
• 00:10:17 We Almost Divorced Twice: The Couple From Hell
• 00:13:21 Child Consciousness vs Adult Consciousness: The Critical Shift
• 00:15:57 The Gratitude That Ends the Yearning
• 00:18:45 Why Both People Don't Need to Change at Once
• 00:20:28 The Unconscious Imago: Your Brain Picks Who You Fall For
• 00:26:34 The 18-Month Fantasy: When the Real Person Shows Up
• 00:30:40 Arranged Marriages vs Choice: The Paradox of Commitment
• 00:34:47 The No Exit Decision: Why You'll Want to Quit When It's Working
• 00:36:34 The Transparency Trap: Afraid of Losing What You Found
• 00:38:35 Receiving Love: The Dinner Story That Changes Everything
• 00:45:49 Equal vs Egalitarian: The Recipe for Partnership
• 00:47:23 Dating IRL: Why Technology Can't Replace Face-to-Face
• 00:50:54 When Needs Become Wants: Life After Gratitude

+ + +

Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together.

Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do.

Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game.

+ + +

Website: http://simonsinek.com/

Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful

Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek

Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/

Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek

We tell ourselves the reason we never chase the big dream is that we're not ready, not brave enough, doomed to fail.

Nelly Attar would tell you she felt all of that too… but she chased them anyway.

Nelly is a psychologist turned extreme athlete and mountaineer. She built Saudi Arabia's first dance studio, MOVE, at a time when women couldn't train publicly by sneaking classes into a warehouse and office building after hours. She's the first Lebanese person to climb the five highest peaks in the world, like Everest. And she also became the first Arab to summit K2, the world’s second highest peak that’s so dangerous that one in four people who attempt it survive.

But what makes Nelly remarkable aren’t the summits and heights she reaches. It's that she's found a way to turn individual acts of accomplishment into acts of service: for the women she shows what's possible and for the team that climbs beside her.

In this episode you'll learn:
➡️ The difference between fear that protects you and fear that holds you back
➡️ How preparing and working hard can lighten the load for others
➡️ What small, daily kindness practices become the best investment you can make
➡️ Why there's no such thing as "self-made" and what actually de-risks courage
➡️ The art of “strategic retreat” + why quitting and retreating aren't the same thing
➡️ Why your title and achievements aren’t your identity (and what is)
➡️ How movement is medicine, and why the mind leads the body
➡️ What it really means to live a life of service to the people right in front of you

In this conversation, Nelly shows that the size of what you accomplish matters far less than the spirit you bring to it. She faces her fear for herself, but she does the hard work for everyone else. 

This… is A Bit of Optimism.

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Want to keep up with Nelly’s adventures? Check out: https://www.nellyattar.com/ 

+ + +

Chapters

• 00:00:00 If You Don't Try, You'll Never Know: Nellie's Philosophy on Fear
• 00:02:20 Building Saudi Arabia's First Dance Studio
• 00:07:45 The Real Risk Worth Taking: Purpose Over Fear
• 00:12:07 The Support System Behind Every Bold Move
• 00:14:11 From Dance Floor to Everest: Training in the Desert for Sub-Zero Summits
• 00:20:13 Climbing for Others: The Service Mindset on the Mountain
• 00:21:19 Preparing So You Don't Burden Your Team
• 00:26:11 The Practice of Kindness: Small Acts That Change Everything
• 00:33:02 Leading Hikes to Help Others Climb Their Mountains
• 00:36:17 K2: Climbing Through Grief After Losing Her Father
• 00:39:24 One in Four Don't Come Back: The Reality of K2
• 00:41:00 Strategic Retreat: Knowing When to Turn Around
• 00:43:59 The Infinite Mindset: You Are Not Your Accomplishments
• 00:45:44 Creating Safe Spaces for Others to Discover Their Boundaries
• 00:48:39 Fear That Protects vs Fear That Holds You Back

+ + +

Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together.

Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do.

Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game.

+ + +

Website: http://simonsinek.com/

Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful

Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek

Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/

Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek

Sixteen years ago, an unknown CEO running a manufacturing company in the Midwest saw my TED Talk and recognized something in it. He sent me a letter and we made plans to meet. What started as a one-hour lunch turned into three, then four days touring factories together across the Midwest, and an idea I had only imagined turned out to already exist in reality.

That CEO was Bob Chapman. Over five decades, Bob grew an unassuming manufacturing company in the Midwest into a global proof point that leadership grounded in humanity can scale and outperform. Bob saw the people in his company as human beings in his care, people he felt responsible to help become healthy, fulfilled, and whole. His belief was simple and profound: when people are cared for at work, they build happier families, stronger communities, and a better world. He called it Truly Human Leadership. 

In the years that followed, Bob became something more: a mentor, a close friend, the central figure in my book Leaders Eat Last, and one of the people who shaped how I think about leadership itself.

In September 2025, I returned to one of Bob's factories in Phillips, Wisconsin, with a camera crew, to capture Bob's incredible legacy in his own words. Six months later, Bob passed away.

As a tribute to this great man, we're releasing the full conversation, in its entirety, for the first time.

In this episode you'll learn:
➡️ Why Bob believed in seeing every person as someone’s precious child

 ➡️ How Barry-Wehmiller rewrote the rules and
➡️ The university Bob built to teach his employees skills they were never taught
➡️ What impact a caring workplace can have on an employees life
➡️ The real difference between a prosperous company and a healthy one
➡️ Why Bob believed layoffs meant your business has failed
➡️ Why the greatest act of charity has nothing to do with the checks you write
➡️ What changed in Bob over the fifteen years Simon knew him
➡️ The letter Simon sent Bob years ago that ended up framed on his office wall

As Bob said, "You can retire from a job, but you can't retire from a calling." He never did. This conversation is a chance to hear why, in his own words.

This… is A Bit of Optimism.

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To buy Bob’s book, Everybody Matters, head to: https://simonsinek.com/optimism-press/everybody-matters 

To read about Bob in my book, Leaders Eat Last, head to: https://simonsinek.com/books/leaders-eat-last 

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Chapters

• 00:00:00 The Letter That Changed Everything: Meeting Bob Chapman
• 00:05:23 Bob's Revelation: Seeing People as Somebody's Precious Child
• 00:08:05 Building a University to Teach Caring: The Three Transformative Classes
• 00:09:32 The Healing Power of Listening: Why 95% of Feedback Was About Marriage and Kids
• 00:16:42 Recognition Done Right: Catching People Doing Good
• 00:20:55 The 2008 Recession Test: Shared Sacrifice Over Layoffs
• 00:23:07 "Layoffs Means Your Business Has Failed"
• 00:26:02 You Don't Need to Justify Caring: Safety of the Soul
• 00:27:53 12% Compound Growth for 25 Years: The Business Case for Humanity
• 00:29:53 "Our Product Is Our People"
• 00:34:55 From Selfish to Servant: Simon's Challenge That Sparked a Movement
• 00:36:26 People's Universal Truth: They Want to Know They Matter
• 00:38:00 Bob Has Gotten Softer: The Personal Evolution of a Leader
• 00:40:00 You Cannot Retire From a Calling: Carrying a Message That Heals
• 00:43:10 Heart Counts, Not Head Counts: The Language of Humanization
• 00:46:01 The Greatest Act of Charity: How You Treat People You Lead
• 00:49:38 The Promise: Carrying the Torch for Generations to Come

+ + +

Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together.

Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do.

Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game.

+ + +

Website: http://simonsinek.com/

Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful

Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek

Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/

Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek

Be honest: AI makes you a little nervous.

Maybe you're afraid it'll take your job. Maybe you're overwhelmed by all the advice about prompts and agents and which chatbot to use. Or maybe you're just quietly hoping it'll all slow down. 

Ethan Mollick says we're underestimating our own agency in the age of AI. Instead of worrying about what AI will do to us, we should focus on what we choose to do with it.

Ethan is a Wharton professor, the author of the bestseller Co-Intelligence: Living and Working with AI, and the writer behind “One Useful Thing,” one of the most popular newsletters on AI, work, and education. He's spent twenty years studying how people actually use technology, and he's become the go-to voice for making sense of AI without the hype or the doom. And in his new book, Co-Existence: The Next Phase of AI, he explores what comes next as AI moves from a tool we prompt to a presence we live and work alongside.

In this conversation, Ethan shares the practical playbook most of us are missing and makes the case that our experience, taste, and point of view aren't things AI replaces. They're exactly what make us better at using it.

In this episode you'll learn: 

➡️ Why young people are NOT "AI natives" (and why experience is the real AI advantage) 

➡️ The $20 decision that instantly upgrades how you use AI 

➡️ Why AI agrees with everything you say + the simple prompt that fixes it 

➡️ How to make AI write in YOUR voice instead of sounding like everyone else 

➡️ The "jagged frontier": what AI is surprisingly bad at (and why that's your opportunity) 

➡️ Why taste may become the most valuable skill of the AI era 

➡️ How much agency we really have over where AI takes us

Ethan believes that the future of AI isn't something that will just happen to us… It's something we get to build together.

This… is A Bit of Optimism.

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To pre-order Ethan’s new book, Co-Existence: The Next Phase of AI, head to: https://co-existence.ai/ 

Want to hear more from Ethan? Check out his Substack “One Useful Thing”: https://www.oneusefulthing.org/ 

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Chapters

• 00:00:00 Why are AI Experts Are Either Doomers or Zealots?
• 00:02:05 From Video Games to AI: Ethan's Unexpected Journey
• 00:09:16 AI's Profound Impact on Knowledge Workers
• 00:14:50 How AI Kills Traditional Talent Pipelines
• 00:15:57 Why AI Art Doesn't Bother Me, But I'd Never Hang It on My Wall
• 00:20:40 How To Overcome AI's Complication of Competitive Edge
• 00:22:06 The 20 Dollar Investment That Changes Everything
• 00:24:40 The 84 Percent Rule: Why AI Can Now Do Your Seven-Hour Job in 15 Minutes
• 00:25:59 Your Voice Matters More Than You Think: Why AI Can't Replace Taste
• 00:19:53 The Discomfort-Avoidant Generation Meets the Efficiency Machine
• 00:13:08 Why Young People Are Worse at Using AI
• 00:43:35 The Brain We're Sacrificing: From Phone Numbers to Critical Thinking
• 00:51:39 Two Prompts That Will Transform How You Use AI
• 00:52:58 How to Use AI As Co-Intelligence
• 00:54:57 The Agency You Have Right Now: It's Not About Policy, It's About How You Use It

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Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together.

Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do.

Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game.

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Website: http://simonsinek.com/

Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful

Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek

Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/

Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek

Most of us are so certain about, well, everything. We think we can predict what's coming, what that off-hand comment really meant, what that look was about, what's going to go wrong. And according to Dr. Ellen Langer, that certainty is making us miserable… and possibly making us sick.

Dr. Langer is a psychologist, Harvard professor, and the "Mother of Mindfulness." In her book The Mindful Body, she makes the case that the way we think directly shapes the way we heal, age, stress, and recover. Her conclusion: the mind and the body were never two separate things to begin with. And we have far more agency over both than we've been led to believe

In this episode you'll learn:

➡️ What mindfulness (and mindlessness) really is

➡️ The one question that can dissolve stress almost instantly

➡️ Why the story you tell yourself is more powerful than what actually happened

➡️ The study that proved people lost weight without changing their diet or exercise

➡️ The difference between nervousness and excitement (and why it matters)

➡️ Why certainty is a sign of mindlessness (not intelligence)

➡️ How your body heals faster or slower based on what you believe

➡️ Why "fighting" an illness is the wrong mindset

➡️ The simple reframe that turns every negative trait into a strength

➡️ Why confident people don't need to rely on certainty

In this conversation, Ellen makes the case that virtually all of us are mindless almost all of the time. And the moment you recognize that, everything opens up. Your health, your relationships, your ability to recover from hardship.

The obstacle, it turns out, has always been the assumption that there was nothing left to question.

This… is A Bit of Optimism.

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To buy a copy of Dr. Ellen Langer’s books The Mindful Body: Thinking Our Way to Chronic Health and Finding Happy, head to: https://www.ellenlanger.me

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Chapters

• 00:00:00 Stress Is a Story We Tell Ourselves
• 00:01:27 What Mindfulness Actually Means
• 00:02:59 Why Everything You Know Is Probably Wrong
• 00:04:29 One Plus One Doesn't Always Equal Two
• 00:06:59 Are We Wired for Stress or Taught to Be Stressed?
• 00:08:16 When Ellen's House Burned Down: Finding Gifts in Tragedy
• 00:13:19 Is This a Tragedy or an Inconvenience?
• 00:19:24 Nervous or Excited? The Olympic Athletes' Secret to Reframing Stress
• 00:22:26 The First Step to Mindfulness: Embracing Uncertainty
• 00:23:15 Behavior Makes Sense From the Actor's Perspective
• 00:33:24 Context, Context, Context: Who Gets to Decide?
• 00:42:41 Mind Over Matter: The Stories That Started It All
• 00:46:24 The Counterclockwise Study: Turning Back Time in Five Days
• 00:47:07 The Chambermaid Study: When Work Becomes Exercise
• 00:49:47 Wounds Heal Based on Perceived Time, Not Real Time
• 00:52:01 Are We Mindless Almost All the Time?

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Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together.

Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do.

Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game.

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Website: http://simonsinek.com/

Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful

Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek

Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/

Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek

Simon’s books:

The Infinite Game: https://simonsinek.com/books/the-infinite-game/

Start With Why: https://simonsinek.com/books/start-with-why/

Find Your Why: https://simonsinek.com/books/find-your-why/

Leaders Eat Last: https://simonsinek.com/books/leaders-eat-last/

Together is Better: https://simonsinek.com/books/together-is-better/

In a world of job-hopping, side hustles, and an endless LinkedIn feed, Tim Harris did something almost no one does anymore. He stayed put.

Few executives spend an entire career helping build a dynasty. Tim Harris spent 35 years with the Los Angeles Lakers, rising to President of Business Operations and helping transform the franchise into a global brand. Through championship eras, iconic athletes like Kobe Bryant and LeBron James, and decades of change in professional sports, Tim's influence was felt not on the hardwood, but in the culture, leadership, and business excellence that powered one of the NBA's most storied organizations.

In this episode you'll learn:

➡️ Why clarity of role is the most underrated tool in any leader's arsenal

➡️ The three unspoken words that silently destroy any team 

➡️ What Kobe Bryant taught Tim about mindset (+ why it matters off the court)

➡️ How the Lakers built one of the most powerful brands in sports

➡️ What elite athletes do differently + how it translates directly to business 

➡️ What caring, high-performing leadership actually looks like 

➡️ Why giving away free tickets to strangers was a brilliant + caring business decision

➡️ The cost of short-termism + what we lose when we stop playing the long game

Even a brand as iconic as the Lakers wasn't built by championships alone. Tim says its foundation was built one small, genuine human moment at a time. 

This… is A Bit of Optimism.

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Chapters

• 00:00:00 You Have to Love Them in Order to Win
• 00:01:54 Why Tim Stayed 35 Years With One Company
• 00:04:30 From Soccer Player to Lakers President: Tim's Unlikely Journey
• 00:07:54 Coaching as Leadership: Don't Play on the Field
• 00:09:39 The Long Game vs Day Trading Success
• 00:11:00 The Underrated Tool of Clarity of Role
• 00:13:29 Kobe's Compartmentalization: Nice Guy Off Court, Competitor On Court
• 00:15:19 The Mental Game: What Separates Elite Athletes From Everyone Else
• 00:22:08 The Three Unspoken Words That Ruin Any Team
• 00:24:16 Meeting People Where They Are
• 00:36:45 Caught You Being a Laker: Empowering Employees to Create Magic
• 00:30:31 The Empty Seat Philosophy: Turning Sunk Costs Into Memories
• 00:31:35 Building Brands One Tiny Act at a Time
• 00:38:42 Remember That Business Is Always Human
• 00:42:04 The Jenga Theory: Every Interaction Either Builds or Destroys Your Brand
• 00:46:31 Caring Structure: What People Actually Crave at Work
• 00:47:26 Never Miss Your Kid's Game: The Accountability Agreement
• 00:50:09 Learning From Legends: Phil Jackson and the Human-First Philosophy
• 00:48:48 The Work Happens in the Dark: What Made Kobe and LeBron Great
• 00:50:56 Stop and Look at the Joy: Championship Lessons and Kobe's Legacy

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Credits

Footage: NBA Entertainment

Photos: http://bit.ly/43Fb37Z (Full List)

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Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together.

Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do.

Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game.

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Website: http://simonsinek.com/

Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful

Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek

Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/

Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek

Hello from Team Simon! We're taking a quick break this week and will be back with brand-new episodes of A Bit of Optimism next Tuesday. 

Until then, we're revisiting one of our favorite episodes — when bestselling novelist Fredrik Backman joined the show to talk about the thing he's spent his whole career writing about: the quiet, radical power of showing up for people.

And Fredrik says great friendships aren't found by luck. They're built deliberately, repeatedly, and, sometimes, inconveniently by people who choose to do the work.

Fredrik is the internationally bestselling author of A Man Called Ove (adapted into the film A Man Called Otto), Anxious People, and the Beartown series. His book, My Friends, is a love letter to the relationships that quietly shape who we become.

In this conversation, Fredrik opens up about his best friend of over 30 years and what 30 years of real friendship actually requires. His words will have you thinking hard about the friends you might be taking for granted.

In this episode you'll learn: 

➡️ Why great friendship is a skill + what the work actually looks like 

➡️ The concept of your "people” vs. “humans" 

➡️ Why your friends are your best editors

➡️ The friendship rule that changed how Fredrik's entire friend group thought about relationships

➡️ The unexpected value of quantity of time vs. quality of time 

➡️ How to be genuinely happy for someone else 

➡️ The difference between healthy self-deprecation and low self-esteem 

➡️ Why the work in a relationship is never solely on the relationship — it's always on you

A great relationship isn't a stroke of luck. It's a choice you make every day, in small ways, often when it's inconvenient. This conversation is a reminder of why it's worth it.

This… is A Bit of Optimism.

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To buy Fredrik’s book, My Friends, visit: https://www.simonandschuster.com/authors/Fredrik-Backman/411545926 

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Chapters

• 00:00:00 We Don't Need Algorithms to Find Our People
• 00:02:45 Fredrik's Viral Speech: Fueled by Pure Panic
• 00:05:55 The Power of Authenticity: Why Imperfection Resonates
• 00:07:29 Choose Your Seven Humans Wisely
• 00:08:56 The Friend Who Taught Him Everything
• 00:15:43 Quality Time vs Quantity Time: The ROI of Presence
• 00:17:53 The "I Want To," Not "I Have To" Philosophy
• 00:20:55 Your Friends Are Your Best Editors
• 00:13:23 Writing as Self-Editing
• 00:15:06 Learning to Be Happy for Others
• 00:22:41 The Gift of Time: Showing Up When It Matters
• 00:23:56 Be A Great Friend, Get Great Friends
• 00:28:55 The Work Is On You: Relationships and Self-Growth
• 00:36:23 Algorithms Would Never Match Us: The Value of Difference
• 00:34:21 Trying Is Everything
• 00:35:55 People vs Humans
• 00:37:18 Self-Deprecation vs Low Self-Esteem
• 00:39:22 The Jantelagen: Swedish Humility Law
• 00:45:26 The Fear of Disappointing People
• 00:48:00 Expectations vs Reality: Letting Go of Fantasy
• 00:49:00 Understanding Bullies: Finding What We Have in Common
• 00:51:21 Fighting Narcissism: Surrounding Yourself With Better People
• 00:52:08 Being Comfortable Not Knowing: The Gateway to Learning
• 00:55:28 The World's Best Cardamom Bun Debate

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Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together.

Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do.

Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game.

+ + +

Website: http://simonsinek.com/

Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful

Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek

Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/

Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek