Why do we care so much about what other people think of us?

In this episode of Office Hours, I explain the science behind why concern about others’ opinions is so powerful in the first place. I talk about the two reasons we are wired to care what people think, how our brains treat social judgment as a real threat, and why this fear can quietly shape our choices, our behavior, and even our sense of self.

Once we understand what is happening in our minds and bodies, we can start to loosen its grip. I share three ways to break out of this pattern and begin caring less about other people’s opinions, not by ignoring them entirely, but by relating to them more wisely. My hope is that these ideas help you move with more freedom, show up more authentically, and live with less unnecessary fear of being judged.

—

Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Timestamps:

(00:00) Intro

(03:20) The two reasons you care what others think about you

(13:53) BIS and BAS: why fear of judgment can keep you stuck

(19:00) The role of shame and when it turns destructive 

(23:46) Way #1: No one cares

(27:05) Way #2: Rebel against your shame

(30:42) Way #3: Don’t judge, and you will not be judged

(34:01) Recap of the 3 ways to stop caring so much about what others think of you

(35:06) Q&A: Helping someone regulate emotions during conflict

(38:53) Q&A: Adapting the morning protocol for late or irregular schedules

(40:06) Q&A: What we know about cold therapy and depression

—

Referenced:

• The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: https://www.amazon.com/Meaning-Your-Life-Finding-Emptiness/dp/0593545427

• The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale 

• The sociopaths among us: How to spot (and avoid) a Dark Triad: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/podcast/the-sociopaths-among-us-how-to-spot-and-avoid-a-dark-triad 

• Meditations by Marcus Aurelius: https://vreeman.com/meditations 

• Intellectual Trust in Oneself and Others: https://www.amazon.com/Intellectual-Oneself-Cambridge-Studies-Philosophy/dp/0521793

• ...References continued at: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours

—

Production and marketing by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://penname.co/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

In this episode of Office Hours, I sit down with my friend Hoda Kotb and talk about how we meet change when it shows up uninvited. Hoda has lived through transitions that resist simple narratives. Early rejection in her career. Public reinvention. Serious illness. Grief. Becoming a parent later in life. Each chapter forced a decision about how to move forward when there were no clear answers.

Hoda is known to millions as the longtime co-anchor of NBC’s Today Show and as the host of Making Space. In our conversation, those titles matter less than the life behind them. What connects us to Hoda’s story is not her achievements, but the ordinary human moments that shaped her values and continue to guide her choices. I hope this conversation leaves you not only inspired by Hoda’s life but also more willing to meet your own with honesty, courage, and care.

—

Brought to you by:

• David Protein—The most effective portable protein on the planet http://www.davidprotein.com/arthur ⁠

—

Where to find Hoda Kotb:

• X: https://x.com/hodakotb 

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hodakotb 

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HodaKotb

• Website: https://www.hodakotb.com  

• Podcast: https://www.today.com/podcasts/making-space

Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Timestamps:

(00:00) Intro

(03:22) Introducing Hoda Kotb

(06:03) Hoda’s origin story as a first-generation American

(07:27) The inspiration Hoda gets from her mother 

(08:48) Hoda’s mother’s journey with grief and what it teaches her

(11:23) Lesson #1: Reframe tragedy as opportunity

(16:25) Lesson #2: Turn constraints into decisions

(27:25) Lesson #3: Persistence creates destiny

(31:44) Lesson #4: Keep learning

(32:40) Hoda’s breast cancer journey

(37:55) Lesson #5: Your suffering is your strength

(40:39) How Hoda became a parent at 52

(46:42) Lesson #6: Choose love

(52:20) Lesson #7: Choose a new tree

(58:50) Lesson #8: You’re in charge

(59:05) A quick recap of the eight lessons

—

Referenced:

• Jump and Find Joy: Embracing Change in Every Season of Life: https://www.amazon.com/Jump-Find-Joy-Embracing-Change/dp/B0DZ5BVKH8 

• Joy 101: https://www.joy101.com 

• Joy 101 2026 retreat: https://www.joy101.com/spring-retreat-2026⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Production and marketing by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://penname.co/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Every New Year, we set ambitious goals. Unfortunately, most of our resolutions fade faster than we would like to admit.

In this episode of Office Hours, I explain why New Year’s resolutions so often fail. This isn’t a question of discipline per se. Instead, our failure occurs because of the way we frame our goals (and how we sometimes set the wrong goals in the first place). I explain how these forces leave us feeling discouraged and stuck.

The good news: there’s a better way to set and achieve your New Year’s resolutions. I walk through how to design your goals in the right way, so that progress depends less on force of will and more on positive incentives. I break this into simple steps grounded in what we know about how people actually change.

If you are thinking about resolutions this year, this episode will help you choose goals that truly support your well-being.

—

Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Timestamps:

(00:00) Introduction

(02:36) Where New Year’s resolutions come from

(04:38) Why New Year’s resolutions often fail

(06:50) What the data says about resolution success

(08:35) Why positive goals work better than negative goals

(11:44) The forces outside you that sabotage your goals

(14:50) Step#1: Make your goals positive 

(19:12) Step #2: Tiny goals

(21:34) Step #3: The right way to have negative goals

(29:11) Why forgiveness is a powerful happiness goal

(31:51) Q&A: Keeping peace without ignoring others’ pain

(33:09) Q&A: Letting go of grievances

—

Referenced:

• The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale 

• How to Build a Life: https://www.theatlantic.com/projects/how-build-life/

• The Happiness Files: Insights on Work and Life: https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Files-Insights-Arthur-Brooks/dp/B0F4MFQ6VN

• The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: https://www.amazon.com/Meaning-Your-Life-Finding-Emptiness/dp/0593545427

• The History of New Year’s Resolutions: https://www.history.com/articles/the-history-of-new-years-resolutions 

• New Year, new you: https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2013/12/31/new-year-new-you 

• Auld lang syne: success predictors, change processes, and self-reported outcomes of New Year's resolvers and nonresolvers: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11920693 

• One in five Americans has stuck to their 2018 New Year’s Resolution: https://today.yougov.com/society/articles/21098-2018-new-years-resolutions-update

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Production and marketing by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://penname.co/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Does Christmas never live up to the version you remember from childhood? Or does it bring up painful memories that keep you stuck in the past? Or maybe you’re like I once was, feeling more like a curmudgeon than a bundle of holiday cheer.

In this episode of Office Hours, I explain why the holidays so often surface disappointment, sadness, and annoyance, and what research on memory reveals about why this happens. I share ways to reframe difficult memories, and my Christmas protocol, designed to help quiet the noise, focus on what truly matters, and move through the season with more gratitude and peace.

—

Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Timestamps:

(00:00) Intro

(03:13) Three common holiday mood problems

(04:10) Problem #1: Disappointment 

(13:12) Problem #2: Sadness

(18:20) Problem #3: Annoyance 

(21:36) Christmas protocol step #1: Start before dawn

(25:00) Christmas protocol step #2: Go for a walk 

(26:00) Christmas protocol step #3: Write a gratitude letter

(26:39) Christmas protocol step #4: Give back 

(28:32) Q&A: How a sleep schedule affects happiness

(30:21) Q&A: Dealing with burnout as a spiral career type 

(31:55) Q&A: How to make close friends later in life 

—

Referenced:

• The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale 

• How to Build a Life: https://www.theatlantic.com/projects/how-build-life/

• Remembering the past to imagine the future: the prospective brain: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17700624/ 

• Is Nostalgia a Past or Future-Oriented Experience? Affective, Behavioral, Social Cognitive, and Neuroscientific Evidence: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7326063 

• Perspectives on episodic-like and episodic memory: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23616754 

• Episodic memory: from mind to brain: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11752477 

• Not all emotions are created equal: The negativity bias in social-emotional development: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3652533 

• Attributions, deception, and event-related potentials: an investigation of the self-serving bias: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18282197

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Production and marketing by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://penname.co/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Satisfaction is one of the three macronutrients of happiness, yet it has a way of slipping through our fingers. We reach a long-awaited goal, feel a brief lift, and then find ourselves wanting something more. 

In this episode of Office Hours, I explore why this happens and how our ancient impulses keep pulling us back toward craving and comparison. I talk about the tendencies that erode our sense of fulfillment and why relying on achievement or recognition for lasting joy never works. 

I share three practical ways to train your brain to want less. As always, my hope is that you practice this in your life and share it with others, so together we can loosen the grip of constant wanting and make more room for love and happiness.

If you’re interested in finding out if you have a satisfaction deficiency, take the Happiness Scale here.

—

Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Timestamps:

00:00) Intro

(02:28) A quick review of the components of happiness

(04:45) What satisfaction really is 

(05:31) Why satisfaction is so hard to hold onto

(10:06) The value of struggle

(14:33) Why satisfaction fades quickly and renews our wanting

(25:41) Why you need to stand up to your animal impulses

(37:04) Step #1: Turn the prince into the sage

(41:02) Step #2: Make a reverse bucket list 

(44:28) Step #3: Get smaller 

(50:33) Q&A: How to help kids find joy outside of screen time 

(53:00) Q&A: How to cope with chronic pain

—

Referenced:

• How to Build a Life: https://www.theatlantic.com/projects/how-build-life/

• The Rolling Stones - (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction (Official Lyric Video): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrIPxlFzDi0 

• Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence: https://www.amazon.com/Dopamine-Nation-Finding-Balance-Indulgence/dp/152474672X 

• Never Enough: The Neuroscience and Experience of Addiction: https://www.amazon.com/Never-Enough-Neuroscience-Experience-Addiction/dp/0385542844 

• Hedonic Relativism and Planning the Good Society: https://findingaids.library.northwestern.edu/repositories/6/archival_objects/473411 

• Prospect Theory: An Analysis of Decision under Risk: https://doi.org/10.2307/1914185

• Why Do We Overindulge?: https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2024/05/why-do-we-overindulge

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Production and marketing by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://penname.co/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Everyone wants to be happier—but too often we go chasing things that make us miserable instead.

In this episode of Office Hours, I break down the three big elements—what I call “macronutrients”—that you must have to live a happy life: enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning. I offer practical ways to strengthen each macronutrient in your own life and revisit the concept of emotional profiles. I help you think about your unique experience of positive and negative emotions, how to lean into your strengths, and how to manage your weaknesses.

And one exciting bonus: My team and I have developed a survey that measures both your unique macronutrient composition and your emotional profile. I hope you can use it to start getting happier today. Take the Happiness Scale at learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale.

—

Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Timestamps:

(00:00) Intro

(03:28) How genetics influences happiness 

(08:36) Why pursuing happiness isn’t selfish 

(09:23) Why we long for happiness and why we make mistakes trying to find it

(10:54) Misconception #1: Happiness isn’t a destination; it is a direction

(14:30) Misconception #2: Happiness isn’t a feeling

(18:24) The three macronutrients of happiness 

(20:11) Macro #1: Enjoyment (versus pleasure) 

(24:45) Macro #2: Satisfaction 

(28:44) Macro #3: Meaning

(33:36) The role of unhappiness 

(37:04) Misconception #3: Trying to eliminate all suffering 

(38:17) The four combinations of affect profiles and how to measure your happiness

(49:40) Q&A: Being happier with type 1 diabetes 

(51:09) Q&A: How to get better at public speaking 

—

Referenced:

• Take the Happiness Scale test: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale 

• How to Build a Life: https://www.theatlantic.com/projects/how-build-life/

• The Happiness Files: Insights on Work and Life: https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Files-Insights-Arthur-Brooks/dp/B0F4MFQ6VN

• Peter Drucker’s website: https://peter-drucker.com

• Twin Studies: A Unique Epidemiological Tool: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4919929 

• Genetic Influences on the Development of Alcoholism: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4159132 

• 3 Steps to Managing Your Emotions: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/podcast/3-steps-to-managing-your-emotions

• The Rolling Stones - (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction (Official Lyric Video): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrIPxlFzDi0 

• The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: https://www.amazon.com/Meaning-Your-Life-Finding-Emptiness/dp/0593545427

• Meaning of Life Questionnaire: http://www.michaelfsteger.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/MLQ.pdf 

• The three meanings of meaning in life: Distinguishing coherence, purpose, and significance: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2016-30427-009

• Introduction to the Ventrolateral Prefrontal Cortex (VLPFC): https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/neuroscience/ventrolateral-prefrontal-cortex 

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Production and marketing by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://penname.co/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Creativity might not make you happier, but it can make you less unhappy. We know this from research.

When people recall moments of creativity, their symptoms of anxiety and depression decrease, and well-being improves. Brain scans show that creative work activates the same regions of the brain as meditation, which helps to relieve the burdens of life. 

Millions of people now use creative practices simply to feel steadier in a chaotic world.

So what does a life built around creativity actually look like?

In this episode of Office Hours, I sit down with James Patterson. With more than 200 books and a Guinness World Record for the most #1 New York Times bestsellers, James has spent decades living in a steady rhythm of ideas, attention, and returning to the page.

As he talks through rejection, revision, focus, and discipline, something interesting happens. The practices that make his writing work begin to reveal patterns that apply far beyond writing.

After the interview, stay with me as I break down the 8 principles drawn from his creative process and show you how to apply them to your own life.

—

Brought to you by:

• LMNT—A science-backed electrolyte drink mix that helps you feel and perform your best, without sugar, artificial ingredients, or gimmicks. Get a free sample pack at DrinkLMNT.com/Arthur

—

Where to find James Patterson:

• Website: https://www.jamespatterson.com

• X: https://x.com/JP_Books 

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jamespattersonbooks 

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JamesPatterson 

• YouTube: youtube.com/user/JamesPattersonAuthor 

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/james-patterson-author

Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Timestamps:

(00:00) Introduction

(03:32) The link between creativity and happiness

(09:17) How James got started as a writer

(11:19) Why rejection isn’t a signal of failure

(13:24) A glimpse into James’s day

(17:34) How his strengths and weaknesses have changed over time

(22:32) How James’s writing has improved with age

(24:15) Where James gets his ideas

(27:38) Why he doesn’t believe in regrets

(30:00) Why James wants to hear everyone’s story 

(33:40) How Hemingway was different from James

(36:09) Why rewriting is where the magic happens

(37:29) Contrasting Orwell’s reasons for writing with James’s

(42:36) Principle #1: Pay attention to the writing

(43:46) Principle #2: Think for yourself

(44:24) Principle #3: Accept change

(45:21) Principle #4: The little things

(46:15) Principle #5: Be an observer 

(47:05) Principle #6: Think more before you produce 

(47:48) Principle #7: Excellence is the journey

(48:57) Principle #8: It’s biscuits

—

Referenced:

• How to Build a Life: https://www.theatlantic.com/projects/how-build-life/

• The Happiness Files: Insights on Work and Life: https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Files-Insights-Arthur-Brooks/dp/B0F4MFQ6VN

• Hemisphere Theory: https://channelmcgilchrist.com/hemisphere-theory  

• The value of painting as a therapeutic tool in the treatment of anxiety/depression mental disorders: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2405452623000381 

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Production and marketing by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://penname.co/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

The benefits of gratitude aren’t exactly a secret, but many of us still think of it as some kind of fixed personality trait. Some people seem to be born grateful, while the rest of us feel like we’re the ones who automatically notice what’s wrong. It’s true that we all have different affect profiles, but gratitude works the same way happiness does. It’s a skill you can train, and it becomes more powerful the more you practice it.

In today’s episode, I’m going to walk you through my 5-step gratitude protocol. These simple practices fit naturally into my morning routine and evening protocol. As always, I share with you the research that supports each action I recommend. 

I hope that you’ll start practicing gratitude and share it with the people around you. When you cultivate this habit, it strengthens your well-being and quietly lifts the happiness of everyone in your orbit.

—

Brought to you by:

• Expedia—Bundle and save on your next trip with Expedia. https://www.expedia.com/ 

• Kit—Email marketing that automates your growth. https://kit.com/?utm_campaign=27409843-q4_comarketing_pilot&utm_source=arthur_brooks_office_hours&utm_medium=podcast&utm_term=placement_one_2025

Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Timestamps:

(00:00) Intro

(04:01) How your affect profile and negativity bias shape gratitude

(08:56) How the prefrontal cortex helps you rise above instinct

(10:32) How gratitude boosts your happiness and lifts others, too

(16:33) How gratitude strengthens relationships and protects against burnout

(20:33) What the research shows about gratitude

(29:44) The dark side of gratitude

(31:55) Gratitude Protocol, Step 1: Weekly gratitude list

(33:18) Step 2: Emails of appreciation

(34:10) Step 3: Opportunistic public action

(35:32) Step 4: Authenticity check

(35:54) Step 5: Grateful contemplation

(36:15) Q&A: Finding a better-paying job without losing happiness

(38:21) Q&A: How to find something bigger than yourself

—

Referenced:

• How to Build a Life: https://www.theatlantic.com/projects/how-build-life/

• The Happiness Files: Insights on Work and Life: https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Files-Insights-Arthur-Brooks/dp/B0F4MFQ6VN

• PANAS quiz: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/quiz/panas 

• Negativity bias, negativity dominance, and contagion:

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1207/S15327957PSPR0504_2 

• Feeling thanks and saying thanks: A randomized controlled trial examining if and how socially oriented gratitude journals work:

https://mural.maynoothuniversity.ie/id/eprint/11705/1/OConnell_Feeling.pdf

• Burnout from emotion regulation at work: The moderating role of gratitude:

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886919306342 

• Four Ways to Be Grateful—And Happier:

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/11/thanksgiving-gratitude-thankfulness-happiness/676071/ 

• Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life (2003):

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/pdfs/GratitudePDFs/6Emmons-BlessingsBurdens.pdf 

• Gratitude and well-being: A review and theoretical integration:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20451313/ 

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Production and marketing by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://penname.co/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Want to make your own evening protocol? Download Arthur’s guide to help you get started: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/evening-protocols. 

Most of us know how important it is to start the day well, but ending it well is what sets up your morning for success. A few weeks ago, I shared my 6-step morning protocol for managing mood and maximizing creativity. This week, I share its companion: my evening protocol.

In this episode, I walk through 9 science-based steps for ending the day with calm and contentment, from simple habits that prepare the body for rest to small rituals that strengthen love, gratitude, and peace of mind. 

Just like the morning routine, these habits are meant to serve you, not the other way around. This isn’t about perfection, but about inviting a state of surrender that allows you to end the day with gratitude, wake up fully rested, and begin another more productive and happier day.

—

Brought to you by:

• LMNT—A science-backed electrolyte drink mix that helps you feel and perform your best, without sugar, artificial ingredients, or gimmicks. Get a free sample pack at https://drinklmnt.com/Arthur 

• Expedia—Bundle and save on your next trip with Expedia. https://www.expedia.com/ 

• Kit—Email marketing that automates your growth. https://kit.com/?utm_campaign=27409843-q4_comarketing_pilot&utm_source=arthur_brooks_office_hours&utm_medium=podcast&utm_term=placement_one_2025 
—

Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Timestamps:

(00:00) Intro

(07:56) Step 1: Best practices for dinner

(11:39) The case for no alcohol 

(13:11) When to cut off caffeine for the day

(15:32) Why dessert wrecks your sleep

(19:43) Step 2: Go for a walk 

(26:21) Two ways to improve your relationship 

(29:20) Step 3: Take your vitamins 

(34:59) Step 4: Limit screen time

(37:01) Step 5: Go to bed 

(39:54) Step 6: Eye contact 

(44:11) Step 7: Read 

(46:00) Step 8: Recite your mantra 

(47:32) Step 9: Never Mind

(49:18) Q&A: When should children wake up

(50:47) Q&A: My wife, Ester’s, morning routine 

(52:04) Q&A: Managing an afternoon slump

—

Referenced:

• How to Build a Life: https://www.theatlantic.com/projects/how-build-life/

• The Happiness Files: Insights on Work and Life: https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Files-Insights-Arthur-Brooks/dp/B0F4MFQ6VN

• My 6-Step Morning Protocol for a Better Day: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/podcast/my-6-step-morning-protocol-for-a-better-day

• Relationship between food intake and sleep pattern in healthy individuals:

https://doi.org/10.5664/jcsm.1476

• Alcohol and sleep-related problems:

https://doi.org/10.5664/jcsm.7646

• Body metabolizes caffeine slower as you age: https://www.uclahealth.org/news/article/body-metabolizes-caffeine-slower-as-you-age

• Is a “Sweet Tooth” Genetic?: https://www.sapiens.org/biology/sweet-tooth-genetic-foragers 

• Relationship between added sugar intake and sleep quality among university students

https://doi.org/10.1177/237796082211101

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Production and marketing by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://penname.co/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Our phones make life easier in countless ways. They connect us, inform us, and keep our lives running. But they also creep into every quiet moment, stealing our focus and dulling the satisfaction we find in real experiences.

In this episode of Office Hours, I talk about how our phones tap into the brain’s reward system and what we can do to reclaim control. I am not suggesting that you give up your devices entirely, since that is likely unrealistic for most people. Instead, I offer simple guardrails that help you enjoy the benefits of technology without letting it dominate your day. I share five practical strategies to create boundaries that help you stay focused, balanced, and fully present.

—

Brought to you by:

• Expedia—Bundle and save on your next trip with Expedia https://www.expedia.com/

—

Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠

• X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Timestamps:

(00:00) Intro

(04:22) An overview of dopamine and its role in learning, motivation, and reward

(09:08) How addiction hijacks dopamine, and why some of us are more vulnerable than others

(13:50) Who is most at risk for phone addiction and other dangers of phone use

(17:48) The two paths to breaking addiction and when moderation simply doesn’t work

(19:09) Why moderation is the right approach for phones and how much we’re overusing them

(24:33) Strategy #1: Tech-free times

(28:45) Strategy #2: Tech-free zones

(30:45) Strategy #3: Device-free breaks 

(32:09) Strategy #4: Mindful consumption 

(36:21) Strategy #5: Turn off your notifications 

(39:33) Q&A: Handling anxiety when you put your phone down

(41:00) Q&A: Breaking the morning phone habit

(41:53) Q&A: Finding happiness as an introvert

—

Referenced:

• How to Build a Life: https://www.theatlantic.com/projects/how-build-life/

• The Happiness Files: Insights on Work and Life: https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Files-Insights-Arthur-Brooks/dp/B0F4MFQ6VN

• Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence: https://www.amazon.com/Dopamine-Nation-Finding-Balance-Indulgence/dp/152474672X 

• Anhedonia: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/25155-anhedonia

• How Cues Drive Our Behavior: https://neurosciencenews.com/behavior-cues-dopamine-9654  

• Dopamine and Addiction: https://www.annualreviews.org/content/journals/10.1146/annurev-psych-010418-103337

• Neurotransmitter Dopamine (DA) and its Role in the Development of Social Media Addiction: https://www.iomcworld.org/open-access/neurotransmitter-dopamine-da-and-its-role-in-the-development-of-social-media-addiction-59222.html 

• 2 Proven Strategies (and 1 Big Mistake) for Dealing with Anxiety: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/podcast/2-proven-strategies-and-1-big-mistake-for-dealing-with-anxiety 

• Are bored minds more likely to be addicted? The relationship between boredom proneness and problematic mobile phone use: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0306460319314364  

• Depression, anxiety, and smartphone addiction in university students- A cross-sectional study: https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2018/08/22/how-teens-and-parents-navigate-screen-time-and-device-distractions

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Production and marketing by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://penname.co/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.