Office Hours with Arthur Brooks

Are painful memories keeping you from enjoying your life today? Maybe you avoid a particular place or person because of an experience you can’t seem to let go of.

In this episode of Office Hours, I explore how memory works, why our recollections are less reliable than we think, and how the past shapes the future we imagine. As always, I share practical steps to help you find more happiness, meaning, and gratitude as you move forward.

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Brought to you by:

• Noble Mobile—With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks.

• Magic Mind—Magic Mind is a mental performance shot with vitamins and clinically-backed ingredients like Ashwagandha and Lion’s Mane for a sharper mind and sustained energy. Get 50% off your first order at magicmind.com.

—

Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• In-person Retreats: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Timestamps:

(00:00) Intro

(09:21) The science of human memory

(19:09) Why memories are unreliable

(23:09) Why memories shift 

(30:03) #1. To reconstruct your past: Keep a database of positive memories

(34:22) #2. Focus on gratitude 

(35:50) #3. Look for meaning and learning 

(43:00) Q&A: Teaching lessons from The Meaning of Your Life to kids

(43:58) Q&A: Handling uncertainty about AI replacing jobs

—

Referenced:

• The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness:https://www.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-of-your-life 

• Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter 

• The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale 

• The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur

• Self-Reliance: https://nationalhumanitiescenter.org/pds/triumphnationalism/cman/text8/selfreliance.pdf

• Remembering the past to imagine the future: the prospective brain: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17700624

• Phantom flashbulbs: False recollections of hearing the news about Challenger: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1993-97049-001

• You Won’t Remember the Pandemic the Way You Think You Will: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2021/05/how-will-we-remember-covid-19-pandemic/618397

• Emotion and memory research: A grumpy overview: https://guilfordjournals.com/doi/10.1521/soco.22.5.530.50767

• Memories affect mood: evidence from covert experimental assignment to positive, neutral, and negative memory recall: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16945317

• PANAS quiz: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/panas

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

What happens when the abilities that brought you professional success start to decline?

In this episode of Office Hours, I explore how our strengths change with age and how to be happier as they do. Drawing on my book From Strength to Strength, I explain fluid and crystallized intelligence and contrast how Darwin and Bach responded to professional decline. 

As always, I leave you with practical steps to help you navigate this transition and find more happiness, meaning, and fulfillment as you age.

—

Brought to you by:

• LMNT—A science-backed electrolyte drink mix that helps you feel and perform your best, without sugar, artificial ingredients, or gimmicks. Get a free sample pack at DrinkLMNT.com/Arthur

• Helix Sleep—A mattress designed for every body. Go to helixsleep.com/brooks for 27% off sitewide for their Labor Day Sale—an exclusive offer for listeners of Office Hours.

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Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• In-person Retreats: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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• Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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—

Timestamps:

(00:00) Intro

(10:40) How happiness changes with age

(15:09) Who is happiest after 70

(17:40) The inevitability of age-related decline in our abilities

(21:49) Lessons on aging from the lives of Darwin and Bach 

(32:05) Why our abilities decline with age 

(39:01) #1. Jump to the new curve

(40:51) #2. Serve other people 

(42:15) #3. Develop your life philosophy

(43:40) #4. Connect more deeply with others

(46:28) Q&A: Navigating relationships with adult children

(47:51) Q&A: Finding meaningful ways to spend retirement

(49:01) Q&A: How to handle “deal” friends

—

Referenced:

• The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-of-your-life 

• Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter

• The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale 

• The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur

• From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life: https://www.amazon.com/Strength-Finding-Success-Happiness-Purpose/dp/059319148X

• Your Professional Decline Is Coming (Much) Sooner Than You Think: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2019/07/work-peak-professional-decline/590650/ 

• Is happiness U-shaped everywhere? Age and subjective well-being in 145 countries: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7480662

• Creative productivity: A predictive and explanatory model of career trajectories and landmarks: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1997-02113-002 

• Charles Darwin: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Darwin

• Johann Sebastian Bach: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johann_Sebastian_Bach

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Simon Sinek is an optimist, bestselling author of Start with Why, and founder of The Optimism Company.

In this special episode of Office Hours, part of the Be Hope podcast takeover during the United Nations General Assembly, Simon joins me to explore what optimism really requires. We discuss how optimism differs from hope, why relationships help us sustain a belief in a better future, how our expectations shape others, and why pessimism has become so powerful. We also explain how leaders can turn optimism into action through a clear vision, and how each of us can become more optimistic by creating space to imagine a better future and finding a vision worth pursuing.

—

Brought to you by:

• Noble Mobile—With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks.

• Magic Mind—Magic Mind is a mental performance shot with vitamins and clinically-backed ingredients like Ashwagandha and Lion’s Mane for a sharper mind and sustained energy. Get 50% off your first order at magicmind.com.
—

Where to find Simon Sinek: 

• X: https://x.com/simonsinek

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/simonsinek

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/simonsinek

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/simonsinek

• Podcast: https://simonsinek.com/podcast 

• Website: https://simonsinek.com

Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• In-person Retreats: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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• Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Timestamps:

(00:00) Intro

(06:10) How Arthur and Simon met

(07:24) Why Simon defines himself as an optimist

(13:10) The difference between optimism and hope

(19:15) How expectations shape relationships and behavior

(28:31) Why optimism is on the decline 

(30:39) Why we need leaders with vision 

(34:48) How to be more optimistic 

(42:42) Optimism in politics 

(50:11) Four lessons for becoming more optimistic

(53:55) Advice for leaders

—

Referenced:

• The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-of-your-life 

• Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter 

• The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale 

• The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur

• Be Hope Podcast Takeover: https://globalgoals.org/behope/ 

• The U.N. General Assembly 2026: https://www.un.org/en/high-level-week-2026

• The Power of Why | Simon Sinek: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0rOB91WEOk

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Dante had a particularly gruesome punishment for the envious: their eyes were wired shut. In this episode of Office Hours, I explore why envy is such a powerful happiness killer—and how to stop feeding it in your own life.

—

Brought to you by:

• ⁠Noble Mobile⁠—With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at:⁠ ⁠⁠https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks⁠

—

Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• In-person Retreats: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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—

Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

7:15 Dante’s Divine Comedy

11:56 Definition of envy and its purpose

18:46 Benign and malicious envy

24:13 The effects on the brain when you’re feeling envy

28:30 What people envy

33:25 5 ways to be less envious and much happier

45:06 Q&A: Four classic temperaments

46:34 Q&A: Developing your PhD research question

48:40 Q&A: Romantic love: addiction or happiness?

—

Referenced:

• The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-of-your-life 

• Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter 

• The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale

• Dante’s Purgatorio, Canto 13: http://dantelab.dartmouth.edu/reader?reader%5Bcantica%5D=2&reader%5Bcanto%5D=13

• Josef Epstein. Envy: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00VQVKUPC?lv=shuf&channelId=500&plpRedirect=mhFallback 

•Envy: An Adversarial Review and Comparison of Two Competing Views: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1754073919873131

•The Role of Subjective and Objective Social Status in the Generation of Envy: https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.513495/full

•When your gain is my pain and your pain is my gain: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19213918/ 

•Is envy harmful to a society's psychological health and wellbeing?: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29316510/ 

•Envy: Functional specificity and sex-differentiated design features: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2012-11291-001 

•What to Do When Social Media Inspires Envy: https://daily.jstor.org/what-to-do-when-social-media-inspires-envy/ 

•Mitigating malicious envy: Why successful individuals should reveal their failures: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2019-11196-001 

•How gratitude inhibits envy: From the perspective of positive psychology: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33300284/ 

•Bragging and humblebragging in online reviews: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0160738319302063?casa_token=2WdCSNbKzdQAAAAA:2PlvLLvja-2c9_454Rnb8h9GB55Kt0Rg3A1pY7XpBxksabWaNZBsbdjbnay4DhKlrJXhk-aEow 

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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If you’re an introvert, you might not like what the research has to say: Extroverts tend to be happier. But before you start striking up conversations with strangers in the elevator, there’s more to the story. 

In this episode of Office Hours, I explore how your personality might shape your happiness, what introverts and extroverts can learn from each other, and why understanding your natural tendencies can help you cultivate habits towards a more connected and, therefore, happier life.

—

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• Noble Mobile—With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠—

Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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—

Timestamps:

(00:00) Intro

(09:00) Personality traits and genetics

(10:47) Jung’s work on personality

(12:54) The Big Five personality traits (OCEAN)

(20:55) Eysenck’s theories on introversion and extroversion

(23:26) Why extroverts tend to have a happiness advantage

(32:02) What introverts can learn from extroverts

(38:44) What extroverts can learn from introverts

(43:04) Happiness homework for introverts and extroverts

(45:01) Q&A: Budgeting, vacations, and happiness 

(47:02) Q&A: Dealing with romantic failure 

—

Referenced:

• The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: themeaningofyourlife.com

• Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership 

• Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter 

• The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale

• The development of markers for the Big-Five factor structure: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1992-25730-001

• Carl Jung: https://www.thesap.org.uk/articles-on-jungian-psychology-2/carl-gustav-jung/ 

• Extraversion and happiness: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1991-12567-001

• Intelligence assessment: a theoretical and experimental approach: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/5341403

• Happiness, introversion-extraversion and happy introverts: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/232553189_Happiness_introversion-extraversion_and_happy_introverts

• Hans Eysenck's interface between the brain and personality: Modern evidence on the cognitive neuroscience of personality: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886916302628

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Why do so many people drift from faith in early adulthood, only to feel drawn back to it later in life? 

In this episode of Office Hours, I explore the Hindu concept of Ashramas and the parallels with what modern science tells us about how our priorities change with age. 

As we get older, the worldly rewards we once chased can start to feel less satisfying. We begin asking deeper questions about wisdom, meaning, and transcendence. That’s what happens when you enter Vanaprastha—the stage of life when we turn our attention inward. 

I also share five practical steps for beginning (or rebeginning) your own spiritual journey.

—

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• Noble Mobile—With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠—

Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• In-person Retreats: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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—

Timestamps:

(00:00) Intro

(07:10) Lessons from Hinduism 

(16:50) Ashramas: The four stages of life

1. Brahmacharya

2. Grihastha

3. Vanaprastha

4. Sannyasa 

(30:05) The link between spirituality and midlife

(35:30) #1: Loosen your commitments to not believing

(38:47) #2. Spirituality as an entrepreneurial endeavor 

(40:09) #3: Walk towards what you seek 

(42:27) #4. Get a buddy 

(44:14) #5. Find a teacher  

(46:03) Q&A: The evolutionary purpose of dark triads 

(48:35) Q&A: Having a two-way relationship with god

—

Referenced:

• The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-of-your-life 

• Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter 

• The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale 

• The Autobiography of a Yogi: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1785991663

• From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life:

https://www.amazon.com/Strength-Finding-Success-Happiness-Purpose/dp/059319148X

• Why do levels of religious observance vary by age and country: https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/2018/06/13/why-do-levels-of-religious-observance-vary-by-age-and-country

• Stages of Faith: The Psychology of Human Development and the Quest for Meaning: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0060628405

• More Americans say they’re spiritual, but not religious: https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2017/09/06/more-americans-now-say-theyre-spiritual-but-not-religious/ 

• The sociopaths among us: How to spot (and avoid) a Dark Triad: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/podcast/the-sociopaths-among-us-how-to-spot-and-avoid-a-dark-triad

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Being a parent is one of the most meaningful things you can do with your life, and one of the easiest things to worry about getting wrong. Most of us ultimately want the same things for our children: for them to grow up to be good people and have a good life. But how much influence do parents actually have over those outcomes?

In this episode of Office Hours, I explore what the research can teach us about raising happy, well-adjusted kids, including how much of our children’s personalities are inherited, where we as parents really can make a difference, and why what we model often matters more than what we say.

—

Brought to you by:

• Noble Mobile—With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks

• LMNT—A science-backed electrolyte drink mix that helps you feel and perform your best, without sugar, artificial ingredients, or gimmicks. Get a free sample pack at DrinkLMNT.com/Arthur

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠—

Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• In-person Retreats: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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—

Timestamps:

(00:00) Intro

(05:04) What most parents want for their kids 

(09:29) What the research has revealed about nature vs. nurture 

(17:00) How parenting impacts personality 

(29:12) Parenting principle #1: Even a hot mess can be a great parent

(32:52) Parenting principle #2: Be warm and loving 

(34:29) Parenting principle #3: Be an actor 

(38:42) Q&A: Overcoming bad habits learned from your parents

(40:50) Q&A: How to support a child with a toxic partner 

(42:49) Q&A: Teaching children the discipline of happiness

—

Referenced:

• The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-of-your-life 

• Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership 

• Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter 

• The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale 

• The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur

• Parenting in America Today: https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2023/01/24/parenting-in-america-today

• OCEAN: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1635039/ 

• Heritability of the big five personality dimensions and their facets: a twin study: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/8776880

• Longitudinal associations between parenting and child Big Five personality traits: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2022-24205-001

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

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Most of us prefer spending time with people who are like us. They think like us, share our values, and make us feel comfortable. But while similarity may be easy, it isn't always what helps us grow.

In this episode of Office Hours, I explain why some of the greatest benefits in life come from building relationships with people who think, believe, and live differently from us. I explore the science behind why diversity of thought can make us wiser and more successful, and share three practical ways to bring more variety of opinions and values into your life. 

And if you want to get better at disagreeing better, check out one of my earlier episodes on loving your “enemies.”

—

Brought to you by:

• LMNT—A science-backed electrolyte drink mix that helps you feel and perform your best, without sugar, artificial ingredients, or gimmicks. Get a free sample pack at DrinkLMNT.com/Arthur

• Magic Mind—Magic Mind is a mental performance shot with vitamins and clinically backed ingredients like Ashwagandha and Lion’s Mane for a sharper mind and sustained energy. Get 50% off your first order at magicmind.com

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠—

Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• In-person Retreats: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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—

Timestamps:

(00:00) Intro

(06:48) Bonding vs. bridging social capital

(14:04) Why we prefer people who are like us

(20:17) Why diversity makes us happier

(21:44) Demographic diversity vs. diversity of ideas

(29:20) How disagreement can improve your thinking

(32:36) Step 1: Talk to strangers

(36:07) Step 2: Become a social scientist 

(38:40) Step 3: Celebrate heresy 

(43:48) Q&A: How video games affect happiness

(44:56) Q&A: What happens when positivity goes too far

(46:26) Q&A: How to avoid being ruled by pleasure

—

Referenced:

• The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-of-your-life 

• Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership 

• Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter 

• The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale 

• The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur

• The Meaning of Your Life Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com

• World Day for Cultural Diversity for Dialogue and Development, 21 May: https://www.un.org/en/observances/cultural-diversity-day

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Production and marketing by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://penname.co/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

In this special one-year anniversary episode of Office Hours, I'm joined by six young adults to discuss the modern crisis of meaning and why so many people feel disconnected despite having more ways to connect than ever. Together, we explore why friendship and romantic love seem harder to find and maintain, what gets in the way of deep connection, and what young adults are actually looking for in relationships, community, and life. Along the way, the participants share their experiences navigating friendship, dating, marriage, graduate school, and major life transitions.

If there's one hope I have for this episode—and for this podcast—it's that it helps us all build lives that are richer in meaning, connection, and love.

Whether you've been with us all year or this is your first episode, thank you for listening. I'm grateful you're joining me in the mission to lift people up and bring us together in bonds of happiness and love.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠—

Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• In-person Retreats: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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—

Timestamps:

(00:00) Intro

(04:10) Introducing the young participants 

(06:48) The three macronutrients of happiness, and the crisis of loss of meaning 

(09:59) The three parts of meaning

(14:43) The decline in friendship and romantic love

(17:30) The challenges of making friends in adulthood

(24:28) Friendship after marriage 

(27:44) Making friends in graduate school 

(33:20) Best friends 

(38:33) Going deeper in a friendship 

(44:05) The seven lessons of friendship 

(46:52) Why falling in love seems harder today 

(58:21) Dating off the apps

(1:02:00) The limitations of dating apps

(1:06:06) What the participants want out of a relationship 

(1:12:05) Why deep friendship is the key and what's getting in the way

(1:15:02) The rules for successful love and dating

—

Production and marketing by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://penname.co/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

We usually think generosity means helping other people. But what if accepting help is generous, too?

In this episode of Office Hours, I explore why letting others help us can be a gift. We’ll look at the science of why helping makes people happier, why others enjoy doing us favors more than we expect, the four rules for asking well, and how receiving with grace creates a virtuous cycle of generosity.

—

Brought to you by:

• Noble Mobile—With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks. 

• Helix Sleep—A mattress designed for every body. Go to helixsleep.com/brooks for 20% off sitewide, 25% off Luxe Mattresses, and 30% off Elite Mattresses for their Fourth of July Sale—Extended!

⁠⁠⁠—

Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• In-person Retreats: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Timestamps:

(00:00) Intro

(07:02) The benefits of giving to others 

(14:10) Why asking for help is an act of generosity

(19:25) Rule #1: How much is too much

(21:19) Rule #2: Asking is not demanding 

(23:27) Rule #3: Don’t wreck it 

(26:46) Rule #4: Being generous requires nothing

(30:38) Q&A: Resources for aporia

(33:06) Q&A: Marrying outside your faith

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Referenced:

• The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-of-your-life 

• Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership 

• Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter 

• The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale 

• The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur

• The Meaning of Your Life Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/

• It’s good to do good and receive good: The impact of a ‘pay it forward’ style kindness intervention on giver and receiver well-being: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2015-21350-001

• Who Really Cares: The Surprising Truth About Compassionate Conservatism: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0465008216

• Happy People Become Happier Through Kindness: A Counting Kindnesses Intervention: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC1820947/

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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