Satisfaction is one of the three macronutrients of happiness, yet it has a way of slipping through our fingers. We reach a long-awaited goal, feel a brief lift, and then find ourselves wanting something more. 

In this episode of Office Hours, I explore why this happens and how our ancient impulses keep pulling us back toward craving and comparison. I talk about the tendencies that erode our sense of fulfillment and why relying on achievement or recognition for lasting joy never works. 

I share three practical ways to train your brain to want less. As always, my hope is that you practice this in your life and share it with others, so together we can loosen the grip of constant wanting and make more room for love and happiness.

If you’re interested in finding out if you have a satisfaction deficiency, take the Happiness Scale here.

—

Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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• LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Timestamps:

00:00) Intro

(02:28) A quick review of the components of happiness

(04:45) What satisfaction really is 

(05:31) Why satisfaction is so hard to hold onto

(10:06) The value of struggle

(14:33) Why satisfaction fades quickly and renews our wanting

(25:41) Why you need to stand up to your animal impulses

(37:04) Step #1: Turn the prince into the sage

(41:02) Step #2: Make a reverse bucket list 

(44:28) Step #3: Get smaller 

(50:33) Q&A: How to help kids find joy outside of screen time 

(53:00) Q&A: How to cope with chronic pain

—

Referenced:

• How to Build a Life: https://www.theatlantic.com/projects/how-build-life/

• The Rolling Stones - (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction (Official Lyric Video): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrIPxlFzDi0 

• Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence: https://www.amazon.com/Dopamine-Nation-Finding-Balance-Indulgence/dp/152474672X 

• Never Enough: The Neuroscience and Experience of Addiction: https://www.amazon.com/Never-Enough-Neuroscience-Experience-Addiction/dp/0385542844 

• Hedonic Relativism and Planning the Good Society: https://findingaids.library.northwestern.edu/repositories/6/archival_objects/473411 

• Prospect Theory: An Analysis of Decision under Risk: https://doi.org/10.2307/1914185

• Why Do We Overindulge?: https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2024/05/why-do-we-overindulge

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

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Everyone wants to be happier—but too often we go chasing things that make us miserable instead.

In this episode of Office Hours, I break down the three big elements—what I call “macronutrients”—that you must have to live a happy life: enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning. I offer practical ways to strengthen each macronutrient in your own life and revisit the concept of emotional profiles. I help you think about your unique experience of positive and negative emotions, how to lean into your strengths, and how to manage your weaknesses.

And one exciting bonus: My team and I have developed a survey that measures both your unique macronutrient composition and your emotional profile. I hope you can use it to start getting happier today. Take the Happiness Scale at learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale.

—

Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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• YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Timestamps:

(00:00) Intro

(03:28) How genetics influences happiness 

(08:36) Why pursuing happiness isn’t selfish 

(09:23) Why we long for happiness and why we make mistakes trying to find it

(10:54) Misconception #1: Happiness isn’t a destination; it is a direction

(14:30) Misconception #2: Happiness isn’t a feeling

(18:24) The three macronutrients of happiness 

(20:11) Macro #1: Enjoyment (versus pleasure) 

(24:45) Macro #2: Satisfaction 

(28:44) Macro #3: Meaning

(33:36) The role of unhappiness 

(37:04) Misconception #3: Trying to eliminate all suffering 

(38:17) The four combinations of affect profiles and how to measure your happiness

(49:40) Q&A: Being happier with type 1 diabetes 

(51:09) Q&A: How to get better at public speaking 

—

Referenced:

• Take the Happiness Scale test: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale 

• How to Build a Life: https://www.theatlantic.com/projects/how-build-life/

• The Happiness Files: Insights on Work and Life: https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Files-Insights-Arthur-Brooks/dp/B0F4MFQ6VN

• Peter Drucker’s website: https://peter-drucker.com

• Twin Studies: A Unique Epidemiological Tool: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4919929 

• Genetic Influences on the Development of Alcoholism: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4159132 

• 3 Steps to Managing Your Emotions: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/podcast/3-steps-to-managing-your-emotions

• The Rolling Stones - (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction (Official Lyric Video): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrIPxlFzDi0 

• The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: https://www.amazon.com/Meaning-Your-Life-Finding-Emptiness/dp/0593545427

• Meaning of Life Questionnaire: http://www.michaelfsteger.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/MLQ.pdf 

• The three meanings of meaning in life: Distinguishing coherence, purpose, and significance: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2016-30427-009

• Introduction to the Ventrolateral Prefrontal Cortex (VLPFC): https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/neuroscience/ventrolateral-prefrontal-cortex 

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

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Creativity might not make you happier, but it can make you less unhappy. We know this from research.

When people recall moments of creativity, their symptoms of anxiety and depression decrease, and well-being improves. Brain scans show that creative work activates the same regions of the brain as meditation, which helps to relieve the burdens of life. 

Millions of people now use creative practices simply to feel steadier in a chaotic world.

So what does a life built around creativity actually look like?

In this episode of Office Hours, I sit down with James Patterson. With more than 200 books and a Guinness World Record for the most #1 New York Times bestsellers, James has spent decades living in a steady rhythm of ideas, attention, and returning to the page.

As he talks through rejection, revision, focus, and discipline, something interesting happens. The practices that make his writing work begin to reveal patterns that apply far beyond writing.

After the interview, stay with me as I break down the 8 principles drawn from his creative process and show you how to apply them to your own life.

—

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—

Where to find James Patterson:

• Website: https://www.jamespatterson.com

• X: https://x.com/JP_Books 

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jamespattersonbooks 

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JamesPatterson 

• YouTube: youtube.com/user/JamesPattersonAuthor 

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/james-patterson-author

Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Timestamps:

(00:00) Introduction

(03:32) The link between creativity and happiness

(09:17) How James got started as a writer

(11:19) Why rejection isn’t a signal of failure

(13:24) A glimpse into James’s day

(17:34) How his strengths and weaknesses have changed over time

(22:32) How James’s writing has improved with age

(24:15) Where James gets his ideas

(27:38) Why he doesn’t believe in regrets

(30:00) Why James wants to hear everyone’s story 

(33:40) How Hemingway was different from James

(36:09) Why rewriting is where the magic happens

(37:29) Contrasting Orwell’s reasons for writing with James’s

(42:36) Principle #1: Pay attention to the writing

(43:46) Principle #2: Think for yourself

(44:24) Principle #3: Accept change

(45:21) Principle #4: The little things

(46:15) Principle #5: Be an observer 

(47:05) Principle #6: Think more before you produce 

(47:48) Principle #7: Excellence is the journey

(48:57) Principle #8: It’s biscuits

—

Referenced:

• How to Build a Life: https://www.theatlantic.com/projects/how-build-life/

• The Happiness Files: Insights on Work and Life: https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Files-Insights-Arthur-Brooks/dp/B0F4MFQ6VN

• Hemisphere Theory: https://channelmcgilchrist.com/hemisphere-theory  

• The value of painting as a therapeutic tool in the treatment of anxiety/depression mental disorders: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2405452623000381 

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

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The benefits of gratitude aren’t exactly a secret, but many of us still think of it as some kind of fixed personality trait. Some people seem to be born grateful, while the rest of us feel like we’re the ones who automatically notice what’s wrong. It’s true that we all have different affect profiles, but gratitude works the same way happiness does. It’s a skill you can train, and it becomes more powerful the more you practice it.

In today’s episode, I’m going to walk you through my 5-step gratitude protocol. These simple practices fit naturally into my morning routine and evening protocol. As always, I share with you the research that supports each action I recommend. 

I hope that you’ll start practicing gratitude and share it with the people around you. When you cultivate this habit, it strengthens your well-being and quietly lifts the happiness of everyone in your orbit.

—

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Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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• Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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• Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Timestamps:

(00:00) Intro

(04:01) How your affect profile and negativity bias shape gratitude

(08:56) How the prefrontal cortex helps you rise above instinct

(10:32) How gratitude boosts your happiness and lifts others, too

(16:33) How gratitude strengthens relationships and protects against burnout

(20:33) What the research shows about gratitude

(29:44) The dark side of gratitude

(31:55) Gratitude Protocol, Step 1: Weekly gratitude list

(33:18) Step 2: Emails of appreciation

(34:10) Step 3: Opportunistic public action

(35:32) Step 4: Authenticity check

(35:54) Step 5: Grateful contemplation

(36:15) Q&A: Finding a better-paying job without losing happiness

(38:21) Q&A: How to find something bigger than yourself

—

Referenced:

• How to Build a Life: https://www.theatlantic.com/projects/how-build-life/

• The Happiness Files: Insights on Work and Life: https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Files-Insights-Arthur-Brooks/dp/B0F4MFQ6VN

• PANAS quiz: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/quiz/panas 

• Negativity bias, negativity dominance, and contagion:

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1207/S15327957PSPR0504_2 

• Feeling thanks and saying thanks: A randomized controlled trial examining if and how socially oriented gratitude journals work:

https://mural.maynoothuniversity.ie/id/eprint/11705/1/OConnell_Feeling.pdf

• Burnout from emotion regulation at work: The moderating role of gratitude:

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886919306342 

• Four Ways to Be Grateful—And Happier:

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/11/thanksgiving-gratitude-thankfulness-happiness/676071/ 

• Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life (2003):

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/pdfs/GratitudePDFs/6Emmons-BlessingsBurdens.pdf 

• Gratitude and well-being: A review and theoretical integration:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20451313/ 

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

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Want to make your own evening protocol? Download Arthur’s guide to help you get started: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/evening-protocols. 

Most of us know how important it is to start the day well, but ending it well is what sets up your morning for success. A few weeks ago, I shared my 6-step morning protocol for managing mood and maximizing creativity. This week, I share its companion: my evening protocol.

In this episode, I walk through 9 science-based steps for ending the day with calm and contentment, from simple habits that prepare the body for rest to small rituals that strengthen love, gratitude, and peace of mind. 

Just like the morning routine, these habits are meant to serve you, not the other way around. This isn’t about perfection, but about inviting a state of surrender that allows you to end the day with gratitude, wake up fully rested, and begin another more productive and happier day.

—

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—

Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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• YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Timestamps:

(00:00) Intro

(07:56) Step 1: Best practices for dinner

(11:39) The case for no alcohol 

(13:11) When to cut off caffeine for the day

(15:32) Why dessert wrecks your sleep

(19:43) Step 2: Go for a walk 

(26:21) Two ways to improve your relationship 

(29:20) Step 3: Take your vitamins 

(34:59) Step 4: Limit screen time

(37:01) Step 5: Go to bed 

(39:54) Step 6: Eye contact 

(44:11) Step 7: Read 

(46:00) Step 8: Recite your mantra 

(47:32) Step 9: Never Mind

(49:18) Q&A: When should children wake up

(50:47) Q&A: My wife, Ester’s, morning routine 

(52:04) Q&A: Managing an afternoon slump

—

Referenced:

• How to Build a Life: https://www.theatlantic.com/projects/how-build-life/

• The Happiness Files: Insights on Work and Life: https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Files-Insights-Arthur-Brooks/dp/B0F4MFQ6VN

• My 6-Step Morning Protocol for a Better Day: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/podcast/my-6-step-morning-protocol-for-a-better-day

• Relationship between food intake and sleep pattern in healthy individuals:

https://doi.org/10.5664/jcsm.1476

• Alcohol and sleep-related problems:

https://doi.org/10.5664/jcsm.7646

• Body metabolizes caffeine slower as you age: https://www.uclahealth.org/news/article/body-metabolizes-caffeine-slower-as-you-age

• Is a “Sweet Tooth” Genetic?: https://www.sapiens.org/biology/sweet-tooth-genetic-foragers 

• Relationship between added sugar intake and sleep quality among university students

https://doi.org/10.1177/237796082211101

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

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Our phones make life easier in countless ways. They connect us, inform us, and keep our lives running. But they also creep into every quiet moment, stealing our focus and dulling the satisfaction we find in real experiences.

In this episode of Office Hours, I talk about how our phones tap into the brain’s reward system and what we can do to reclaim control. I am not suggesting that you give up your devices entirely, since that is likely unrealistic for most people. Instead, I offer simple guardrails that help you enjoy the benefits of technology without letting it dominate your day. I share five practical strategies to create boundaries that help you stay focused, balanced, and fully present.

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Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠

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• Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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• YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Timestamps:

(00:00) Intro

(04:22) An overview of dopamine and its role in learning, motivation, and reward

(09:08) How addiction hijacks dopamine, and why some of us are more vulnerable than others

(13:50) Who is most at risk for phone addiction and other dangers of phone use

(17:48) The two paths to breaking addiction and when moderation simply doesn’t work

(19:09) Why moderation is the right approach for phones and how much we’re overusing them

(24:33) Strategy #1: Tech-free times

(28:45) Strategy #2: Tech-free zones

(30:45) Strategy #3: Device-free breaks 

(32:09) Strategy #4: Mindful consumption 

(36:21) Strategy #5: Turn off your notifications 

(39:33) Q&A: Handling anxiety when you put your phone down

(41:00) Q&A: Breaking the morning phone habit

(41:53) Q&A: Finding happiness as an introvert

—

Referenced:

• How to Build a Life: https://www.theatlantic.com/projects/how-build-life/

• The Happiness Files: Insights on Work and Life: https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Files-Insights-Arthur-Brooks/dp/B0F4MFQ6VN

• Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence: https://www.amazon.com/Dopamine-Nation-Finding-Balance-Indulgence/dp/152474672X 

• Anhedonia: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/25155-anhedonia

• How Cues Drive Our Behavior: https://neurosciencenews.com/behavior-cues-dopamine-9654  

• Dopamine and Addiction: https://www.annualreviews.org/content/journals/10.1146/annurev-psych-010418-103337

• Neurotransmitter Dopamine (DA) and its Role in the Development of Social Media Addiction: https://www.iomcworld.org/open-access/neurotransmitter-dopamine-da-and-its-role-in-the-development-of-social-media-addiction-59222.html 

• 2 Proven Strategies (and 1 Big Mistake) for Dealing with Anxiety: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/podcast/2-proven-strategies-and-1-big-mistake-for-dealing-with-anxiety 

• Are bored minds more likely to be addicted? The relationship between boredom proneness and problematic mobile phone use: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0306460319314364  

• Depression, anxiety, and smartphone addiction in university students- A cross-sectional study: https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2018/08/22/how-teens-and-parents-navigate-screen-time-and-device-distractions

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Many people think Stoicism is about suppressing emotions or accepting suffering with a stiff upper lip. But it’s really about learning to live well, to find peace, courage, and happiness in a chaotic world.

In this episode of Office Hours, I sit down with my friend Ryan Holiday, bestselling author and modern Stoic who has written several books about Stoicism, including his latest, Wisdom Takes Work. Together, we explore how ancient wisdom can help us live better today and why doing the right thing, even when it’s hard, leads to greater happiness.

We talk about how to stay centered in a world that constantly tests our integrity and attention, and what it means to live with temperance and purpose. Stoicism reminds us that we can’t always control what happens, but we can control how we respond, and that choice shapes the life we build.

—

Where to find Ryan Holiday:

• Website: https://ryanholiday.net

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYmBIKsrzIjdHRuqs2I8nHA

• X: https://x.com/RyanHoliday

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ryanholiday

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ryanholiday

• Podcast: https://dailystoic.com/podcast

Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠

• X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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• LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Timestamps:

(00:00) Intro

(05:01) How Ryan Holiday got into Stoicism 

(10:04) Ryan’s definition of Stoicism 

(13:53) Who Cicero was, his Stoic leanings, and differences from the Stoics

(21:05) Seneca’s death 

(22:19) The three principles of Stoicism 

(25:40) Modern people who demonstrated Stoic principles 

(34:44) Stoicism’s work: finding a way to feel happy and grateful in spite of hardships

(43:30) Ryan’s advice to young Stoics 

(47:35) A case for making your own meaning

(49:02) How to stay in control when everything competes for your attention

(52:13) Where the Stoics fell short

(57:10) The Four Idols game

(1:04:35) Wrap up: Four ways to practice Stoicism

—

Referenced:

• How to Build a Life: https://www.theatlantic.com/projects/how-build-life/

• The Happiness Files: Insights on Work and Life: https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Files-Insights-Arthur-Brooks/dp/B0F4MFQ6VN

• Ryan Holiday’s website: https://ryanholiday.net/ 

•  Wisdom Takes Work: Learn. Apply. Repeat.: https://www.amazon.com/Wisdom-Takes-Work-Repeat-Virtues/dp/0593191730

• Robert Greene’s website: https://powerseductionandwar.com 

• The Stoics: The Philosophy of Seneca, Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius: https://www.amazon.com/Stoics-Philosophy-Seneca-Epictetus-Aurelius/dp/1398849103

• Meditations: https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-New-Translation-Marcus-Aurelius/dp/0812968255

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

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Many people think a successful career moves in a straight line, always upward and forward. But life isn’t that neat. There are actually four different career paths, and which one is best for you depends on your individual psychology.

In this episode of Office Hours, I talk about why the happiest people are those whose work reflects their values and stage of life, not someone else’s idea of success. We’ll look at what happens to happiness when we change jobs, why satisfaction almost always drops after the honeymoon period, and how our mindset shapes what comes next. I’ll also share four rules for making a good job change that can help you find greater alignment, satisfaction, and peace of mind in your work.

—

Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Newsletter: ⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠

• X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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• YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Timestamps:

(00:00) Intro

(03:15) An introduction to four types of careers

(14:55) Stats on how often we change jobs and the types of people who resist change

(20:58) What surveys reveal about job changers’ happiness and why it tends to fall 

(23:10) Self- vs. organization-centered careers and why the latter leads to more satisfaction (25:25) Why liking your life makes you more likely to enjoy your job

(27:57) Why being intentional about leisure matters

(29:01) Push and pull: the reasons we seek new jobs 

(32:12) Four rules for a good job change #1: Manage your expectations

(33:57) Rule #2: Look for your happiness first outside your job

(34:57) Rule #3: Jump before you push 

(36:11) Rule #4: Don’t be afraid 

(36:56) Why lifelong marriages are most associated with happiness, but careers aren’t 

(39:19) A review of the four career types and the rules for job-change happiness

(40:58) Q&A: Should I work after raising kids? 

—

Referenced:

• How to Build a Life: https://www.theatlantic.com/projects/how-build-life/

• The Happiness Files: Insights on Work and Life: https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Files-Insights-Arthur-Brooks/dp/B0F4MFQ6VN

• Career pandemonium: Realigning organizations and individuals: https://journals.aom.org/doi/abs/10.5465/ame.1996.3145319 

• The Four Career Concepts: https://www.shrm.org/topics-tools/news/hr-magazine/four-career-concepts 

• The Number of Americans Wanting to Switch Jobs Hits a 10-Year High: https://www.wsj.com/lifestyle/careers/job-satisfaction-low-gallup-data-detachment-17bc183c 

• Fear of the unknown: One fear to rule them all?: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0887618516300469?via%3Dihub 

• The relationship between employee job change and job satisfaction: the honeymoon-hangover effect: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16162061/

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

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America doesn’t have an anger problem. We have a contempt problem.

In this episode of Office Hours, I talk about how we can bring more love and happiness into a world that feels increasingly bitter and divided. Too often, contempt fills the space where love could exist. When we choose to love those who disagree with us, we not only make the world better, but we also make our own lives happier.

A lot of what I share today draws from my book Love Your Enemies: How Decent People Can Save America from the Culture of Contempt (2019). I reflect on what I’ve learned about standing up for those we oppose, and why real change starts when we take contempt personally. I hope you walk away from this episode remembering that behind every cruel remark or dehumanizing label is a person with inherent worth and dignity.

In the episode, I will also explore a psychological concept known as the Dark Triad—a trio of personality traits that can fuel conflict and polarization. If you're curious about how these traits show up in yourself or others, you can take a quick quiz at arthurbrooks.com/darktriads to see where you land.

We’d love to hear any feedback you have. Please email us at [email protected]. And please leave a review on Apple or Spotify. Thanks for listening!

—

Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Newsletter: ⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠

• X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Timestamps:

(00:00) Intro

(03:52) America’s growing crisis of contempt

(04:50) What motive attribution asymmetry is, and how to overcome it

(13:33) Why you should take hateful remarks personally and love your political enemies 

(18:59) Why anger isn’t the problem, but contempt is 

(24:23) How John Gottman identifies contempt in relationships doomed to fail

(26:01) How Dark Triad personalities thrive in a culture of contempt

(28:58) The neuroscience of habits and how they shape communication

(33:07) How to break a destructive habit

((42:09) Homework #1: Disagree better

(43:20) Homework #2: Stand up to your own side

(44:18) Homework #3: Go looking for contempt and meet it with love

(46:29) Homework #4: Express gratitude

(48:46) Q&A: How charisma connects to the dark triad

(50:10) Q&A: When family cuts you off (and why it’s more common than you think)

—

Referenced:

• How to Build a Life: https://www.theatlantic.com/projects/how-build-life/

• Love Your Enemies: How Decent People Can Save America from the Culture of Contempt: https://www.amazon.com/Love-Your-Enemies-America-Contempt/dp/0062883755 

• America’s Crisis of Civic Virtue: https://www.journalofdemocracy.org/articles/americas-crisis-of-civic-virtue/ 

• Motive attribution asymmetry for love vs. hate drives intractable conflict: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25331879/

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

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Are you managing your emotions, or are they managing you?

In this episode of Office Hours, I explore how to manage your emotions by understanding how they work and what they are trying to tell you. Emotions like fear, anger, joy, and disgust evolved to protect and guide us, yet in the modern world, they often become misaligned, leading us to overreact or lose perspective. The goal is not to eliminate emotions entirely, but to understand that they work for you, not the other way around.

To learn more about how you, specifically, experience positive and negative emotions, take the Positive and Negative Affect Schedule (PANAS) quiz here. 

In this episode, I cover:

• How to get out of your reptilian brain and engage your reasoning mind

• Why avoiding negative emotions can actually make you less happy

• The evolutionary advantage of rejection and how it protects you

• How politicians exploit the disgust reflex to divide people

• The “count to 30” rule for interrupting emotional impulses

• Three metacognitive techniques for managing emotions in everyday life

• A journaling exercise for reducing anxiety and building perspective

• A Q&A on faith, teaching happiness, and choosing fulfilling work

We’d love to hear any feedback you have. Please email us at [email protected]. And please leave a review on Apple or Spotify. Thanks for listening!

—

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• ⁠The Pump Club⁠—Finally, fitness you can trust. ⁠Join The Pump Club⁠—created by Arnold Schwarzenegger—for custom workouts and nutrition, habit building, and community—all for 50% OFF the monthly price with the code officehours at checkout http://thepumpclub.com/ ⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter

• X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Timestamps:

(00:00) Intro

(04:47) Feelings vs. emotions and a review of what happiness is 

(10:10) How Triune Brain Theory explains emotion and what makes humans unique 

(17:17) Why both positive and negative emotions are essential to our well-being

(18:40) The purpose and function of our primary negative emotions

(28:54) Understanding the primary positive emotions that drive joy and growth

(32:51) How to manage your emotions using metacognition techniques 

(36:35) Three ways to get better at metacognition, starting with Technique #1: Knowledge

(41:00) Technique #2: Contemplation 

(43:14) Technique #3: Documentation 

(50:15) Q&A #1: Is happiness or contentment possible through faith alone?

(52:50) Q&A #2: How to teach happiness without sounding preachy

(54:22) Q&A #3: How to choose a job that truly supports long-term happiness

—

Referenced:

• Leadership and Happiness course: https://www.hbs.edu/coursecatalog/1885.html

• How to Build a Life: https://www.theatlantic.com/projects/how-build-life/

• The Happiness Files: Insights on Work and Life: https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Files-Insights-Arthur-Brooks/dp/B0F4MFQ6VN

• PANAS quiz for gauging your level of emotionality: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/quiz/panas

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

—

Production and marketing by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://penname.co/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. For inquiries about sponsorship, email [email protected]