Coffee Donuts & F****d Up S**t

Coffee Donuts & F****d Up S**t

By Sorry For Laughing NetworkComedy
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Coffee Donuts & F****d Up S**t episodes

  • For the Love of Dicks: The Icelandic Phallological Museum

    “Collecting penises is like collecting anything. You can never stop, you can never catch up, you can always get a new one, a better one.” -Siguróur Hjartarson

    The Icelandic Phallological Museum is exactly what it sounds like- a museum about penises. But there's more to this weird story than just dicks. Actually, there isn't. It's just a bunch of dicks. Join us as we explore the museum and the saga of it's quest for a human penis.

    2 hr 15 min
  • Flim Flam Bowl II - Robert Tilton VS Jon Burge
    Who's the biggest piece of shit in history this time? Join us for our 2nd annual Flim Flam Bowl, where we pit liars, murderers, cheats, con men and flim flammers against each other. Who will emerge victorious? Who will have the most dick jokes? Team Tilton or Team Burge?
    A flim flammer of the most evil nature, Jon Burge was a con man of a cop who would solve crimes by any means necessary, especially if those means involved torture. For twenty-years, Burge was publically known as one of the most successful, admirable, and decorated police officers on the entire Chicago P.D. force. But privately, he was responsible for ruining the lives of entire generations of innocent black men, whom only a percentage of finally found any form of redemption when the dust settled. 
    During the 80’s and 90’s, the airwaves were plagued by a foul scourge known as the televangelist. And just like some kind of weird monster from the X-Files, televangelists can never truly be destroyed. They just scurry off into their Marcus-holes for 27 years and come back with plastic surgery and some hair plugs. This is the story of how we almost managed to take one down- The Reverend Robert Tilton aka Pastor Bob.
    2 hr 47 min
  • Do You Double Dare Me? Part 2
    Double Dare is just a massive success story. Running from 1986 to 1993 with approximately 525 episodes under its belt, Double Dare more than tripled Nickelodeon’s viewership almost instantly. Double Dare spawned spin-offs, rip-offs, international versions, a live road show, 2 revivals, shit tons of merchandising and countless parodies.
    1 hr 35 min
  • Do You Double Dare Me? Part 1

    Truthfully, Double Dare is just a massive success story. Downright wholesome, in fact. So wholesome that we found ourselves exploring our own sloppy obstacle course of burning questions like- What even is fucked up about Double Dare? Who the heck is Soupy Sales?Why is Eric so poor? Has anyone fingered Drew Carey's butthole lately? How much Plan B can Jenna drink? Why does Jay Leno suck so much? Will Evan give the Coughing Stranger a ride? Join us in our search for answers in Part One of Do You Double Dare Me?

    1 hr 52 min
  • Missing Fingers, Tater-tot Suppositories and Mummy Papers

    People have been fascinated with mummies for centuries. And why not? Mummies are mystical and mysterious and great for movies starring Brenden Frasier. But mummies weren't just mysterious, they were useful- from paint to medicine to linen for paper, join us we explore the many uses of Mummy papers.

    2 hr 2 min
  • Exorcisms Schmexorcisms

    People have been casting out demons since before Christ was born. While we attribute the act of an exorcism with Catholicism, the act of expelling evil spirits out of “possessed” individuals has been traced back to everywhere from Ancient Mesopotamia to Hindus in 1500 B.C. But in the 20th Century (and even present day), the “theatrics” of tossing holy water and screaming Bible passages at the so called “Damned” has seen a resurgence, predominantly due to pop culture’s fascination with this religious ritual, as well as the rise of the religious right in the eighties and the past four years. In this episode, the Coffee Donuts & F***ed Up S*** gang examines the origins of America’s fascination with exorcisms, from the famous cases that inspired all the popular movies and novels, to the infamous frauds (or crusaders, depending on your spiritual beliefs and intelligence levels) who have made a living discharging the devil, listen on as we explore the ever-booming exorcism industry on Coffee Donuts & F***ed Up S***!

    1 hr 58 min
  • Our Most F**ked Up Episode Ever
    Shocking, haunting, and downright disturbing are the only words that can describe this episode. We can’t even go over any details of this episode in this episode description, because revealing any features or topics of discussion from this recording would simply turn scorch anyone who is reading this episode description’s eyeballs out. It will chill you to the marrow. 
    Be warned, once you hear it you won't be able to unhear it! You may find yourself struggling with the concept of what is good and evil, right and wrong, up and down, BLACK, WHITE, WET, DRY... well you get the idea. It's a lot like that Christmas Eve when your uncle showed you that strange box of polaroids he keeps hidden under his bed at your grandmother's house. Tantalizingly yet, verboten! This episode will perpetually gnaw on the back of your mind and leave you questioning everything that you deem to be sane and good in the world around you. It is savage, it is unrelenting and it will remain with you now and forever. 
    We here at Coffee Donuts stand by our reporting, and know that you listeners deserve the truth about what’s really happening in our world. Join us in our most fucked up episode ever as we explore the unheard of and tie the strings of this controversial topic.
    1 hr 14 min
  • Nightmare in Chi-Town
    What's the most fucked up thing you've ever seen? 
    Was it a fucked up movie?
    Or maybe your creepy uncle's puppet show? 
    Have you ever been woken up by someone, asking you if you're awake? 
    Happy Halloween Shitheads!
    19 min
  • The Monster Rash
    Happy Halloween from Coffee Donuts and Fu*ked up Sh*t!!!
                           The Monster Rash
    I was drinking one night, and looking for ass, 
    So I came to a party with my werewolf mask, 
    The music was groovy as I sipped from my flask, 
    Then I reached in my wallet but couldn’t find no cash! 
    Had to earn my pussy, so I turned on the class,
    Then I approached this vampire while stroking my stash, 
    She started licking her lips in her assless chaps, 
    She said hey there Wolfie, how bout I give you a rash! 
    It was the monster rash 
    It was an oozing gash 
    She kept telling me “Relax!” 
    That’s the last time I’ll smash 
    Things were getting very steamy, and I felt a connection, 
    My pants got all creamy, but I wasn’t wearing protection, 
    When I pulled out, green goo poured out my erection, 
    She started howling with laughter at my newfound infection! 
    I was screaming in pain as me pee pee was burning 
    When I streamed my main vein, it was like bloody butter churning, 
    My cream poured like acid rain, my urethra kept hurting,  
    And all I had to blame was my horny monster flirting!! 
    It was the monster rash 
    It came on like a flash
    How long will this past?
    I should’ve dressed like Slash
    I woke up in the morning and I tried to pee, but instead I started mourning and discharging dick cheese, 
    I poured whiskey on my junk and tried to light it on fire, 
    But nothing was working, the rash only grew higher! 
    I went to the doctor and guess what he told me, 
    He said your pee pee is broken, then some drugs he did sold me, 
    I popped all the pills so my ding dong stopped stinging 
    But even to this day, I can never stop singing! 
    It was the monster rash 
    All over my moustsche 
    Like Crosby stills and Nash 
    I don’t have long to last!
    4 min

About Coffee Donuts & F****d Up S**t

From the publisher's feed

A comedy podcast that explores the dark underbelly of a wide range of topics with a combination of solid research, social commentary and general hilarity.