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It was always a bet, always a gamble, this acting thing. My black ass never had a chance in hell. But I foolishly listened to the stuff shirts and the snobs and the go getters and the gurus. I kept trying. Every day I tried and tried harder every try. In the old days, the days before I almost died by having a seizure on a train home from a low paying acting job in San Francisco, it was somehow motivating to know that I could always try harder. That was enough to keep me sane back then, but now I realize that all that trying was in vain. I was getting nowhere fast and working way too hard to get there. The acting world never had anything for me but a middle finger and a pitiful stipend. Right now, somewhere in the liberal bay area, some poor black kid is frantically racing to catch a bus; once on that bus, that black kid will travel upwards of two or three hours so he can get to an audition for film, TV or theatre. But the sad truth is that that black kid will likely not get the part because all the theatres in the bay area do the same shows with a mostly white cast. Even if that black kid did manage to get the part, the show, which would rehearse for about five to eight hours a day, six days a week for four months, would pay that poor kid anywhere from two to twelve hundred dollars for the whole show, including the run. That worthless stipend is meant to cover all of that poor kid’s travel, food and childcare costs during that four months. There are, extracting the one day off, ninety-six work days in that calendar. If I assume the best intentions of the theater or film company and they shell out the maximum of $1200, that works out to a grand total of twelve dollars and fifty cents…a day, not an hour, a day. But that is assuming that the company has that in its budget. Generally, the stipend pay for a non-union bay area actor is $200 for the entire run. That comes out to about two dollars and eight cents a day for that poor black kid with stars in their eyes, thinking that there is some kind of hope there. Well, there is not hope there. You cannot sustain a life in California on that, especially not if you have a kid of your own. But the theater owners and the film production companies in the bay area don’t give two shits about that poor black kid. They will tell him to work another job to sustain his “hobby” of acting, to do it for the love of the theater or the camera or the stage or whatever. Meanwhile, they rake in tons of dough on these shows, profiting off the blood, sweat and tears of their hired help…I mean, “entertainers”. But that is California for you, a state that would rather pay black entertainers peanuts than do the right thing. But there is a dual reality in California. On every casting notice you will see the term “color blind casting” meant to portray the idea that anyone can be cast in any role at any time, that they only choose the most talented. So, the message from the California entertainment industry is that white people are more talented than black people, that white people are prettier than black people, that white people are smarter than black people. Of course that is not true, but neither is entertainment. Entertainment is a delusion. Entertainment is escapism, a fantasy world where everything is pure. And so the mostly white union actors get paid about $1200 a week, while that poor kid gets $200 for the whole run. This is justice in California. This is what they call liberalism. This is what they call “equal opportunity”. At times like this, when I reminisce about my experience in this ass backwards entertainment industry, I am often reminded of the movie China Town. At the movie’s end, Jake is forced to see Evelyn’s mangled body lying dead before him due to the town’s corruption and his ignorance. He cries out for mercy, but all he gets in response is “Forget it Jake. It’s China town.” I hear some of you out there now screaming that this just can’t be. Forget it folks. It’s theatre town.
It was always a bet, always a gamble, this acting thing. My black ass never had a chance in hell. But I foolishly listened to the stuff shirts and the snobs and the go getters and the gurus. I kept trying. Every day I tried and tried harder every try. In the old days, the days before I almost died by having a seizure on a train home from a low paying acting job in San Francisco, it was somehow motivating to know that I could always try harder. That was enough to keep me sane back then, but now I realize that all that trying was in vain. I was getting nowhere fast and working way too hard to get there. The acting world never had anything for me but a middle finger and a pitiful stipend. Right now, somewhere in the liberal bay area, some poor black kid is frantically racing to catch a bus; once on that bus, that black kid will travel upwards of two or three hours so he can get to an audition for film, TV or theatre. But the sad truth is that that black kid will likely not get the part because all the theatres in the bay area do the same shows with a mostly white cast. Even if that black kid did manage to get the part, the show, which would rehearse for about five to eight hours a day, six days a week for four months, would pay that poor kid anywhere from two to twelve hundred dollars for the whole show, including the run. That worthless stipend is meant to cover all of that poor kid’s travel, food and childcare costs during that four months. There are, extracting the one day off, ninety-six work days in that calendar. If I assume the best intentions of the theater or film company and they shell out the maximum of $1200, that works out to a grand total of twelve dollars and fifty cents…a day, not an hour, a day. But that is assuming that the company has that in its budget. Generally, the stipend pay for a non-union bay area actor is $200 for the entire run. That comes out to about two dollars and eight cents a day for that poor black kid with stars in their eyes, thinking that there is some kind of hope there. Well, there is not hope there. You cannot sustain a life in California on that, especially not if you have a kid of your own. But the theater owners and the film production companies in the bay area don’t give two shits about that poor black kid. They will tell him to work another job to sustain his “hobby” of acting, to do it for the love of the theater or the camera or the stage or whatever. Meanwhile, they rake in tons of dough on these shows, profiting off the blood, sweat and tears of their hired help…I mean, “entertainers”. But that is California for you, a state that would rather pay black entertainers peanuts than do the right thing. But there is a dual reality in California. On every casting notice you will see the term “color blind casting” meant to portray the idea that anyone can be cast in any role at any time, that they only choose the most talented. So, the message from the California entertainment industry is that white people are more talented than black people, that white people are prettier than black people, that white people are smarter than black people. Of course that is not true, but neither is entertainment. Entertainment is a delusion. Entertainment is escapism, a fantasy world where everything is pure. And so the mostly white union actors get paid about $1200 a week, while that poor kid gets $200 for the whole run. This is justice in California. This is what they call liberalism. This is what they call “equal opportunity”. At times like this, when I reminisce about my experience in this ass backwards entertainment industry, I am often reminded of the movie China Town. At the movie’s end, Jake is forced to see Evelyn’s mangled body lying dead before him due to the town’s corruption and his ignorance. He cries out for mercy, but all he gets in response is “Forget it Jake. It’s China town.” I hear some of you out there now screaming that this just can’t be. Forget it folks. It’s theatre town.