We don’t know what’s going to happen to Colton but it’s not going to be good. Colton has found himself in a remarkably terrible position leading into the final three. Not just because his remaining suitors are any combination of phony/too young/boring/not ready to get married, but because he is himself and he also may be any combination of all of those things. But he’s still charming and semi-handsome so that’s good. Fingers crossed!

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Colton Is Doomed - The Bachelor Season 23 Week 8 Recap

The Bach Boys is a comedy podcast talk show created by four boys who love ABC's "The Bachelor,” “Bachelorette,” “Bachelor in Paradise,” and any subsidiary program of “Bachelor Nation." They invite you to tune in every week for their unique perspective on America's most enchanting tale of love and deceit, romance and drama, joy, and of course, tears. Enjoy.

Comedy

Well, it’s been a hell of ride, Bach Boys Nation! Thank you for your patronage. For your support. For your time. Your tears. Your love. Your listens. The first half of the episode is a nice return to form skewering Pete, his mother, and her gimp. We wish them the contractually obligated best. The second half though? Well, the second half is a litte something special, just for you: Our devoted fans. So long. Farewell. Auf Wiedersehen. Good night!

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Series Final E. - The Bachelor Season 24 Finale Recap

The Boys keep it classy in this, the most calm and respectful Boys Tell All yet. Listen as they gracefully rise above the roar of the transient scum below (which apparently is most of Bachelor Nation according to those nasty DMs they Rachel Lindsay showed us). Listen to the soothing, agreeable tones of three Boys who you can just tell really get it. These ladies may be stinkie trash , it’s true. But where there’s trash, there’s gotta be people to clean it up. You’re welcome!

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The Boys T’ L. All - The Bachelor Season 24 Week 9 Recap

Poor Madison. No amount of Dad’s special training could prepare such a pure body and soul for the crushing disappointment of Peter crushing a disappointment of a person like Victoria F. Also Hannah Anne is there and she’s looking VERY tan! We’re almost there, gang. Let’s get through this together.

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She Loves Me, I Love Her Not - The Bachelor Season 24 Week 8 Recap

Happy Precedence Day!! Peter has set a new precedent for just how low the Bachelor should be willing to go in his quest for the *perfect* fantasy suite date. Truly a stupid, stupid man.... AND WE’RE PASSING THE SAVINGS ON TO YOU!!!!!

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Precedence Day (Peter is Dumb) - The Bachelor Season 24 Week 7 Recap

Dear God,

We come to You, humble hosts of the #1 rated Bachelor podcast in the world, to thank You for these many splendorous blessings we reap in Your Name. However, we do ask what is up with this cast of garbage women You’ve seen fit to loose upon us. Seriously, what’s the deal, Bro? Pretty rude, God. Not cool, Jesus. We’re very disappointed in you both. Let’s try and work a little harder and think a little more next time a decision like this comes up, okay? Good.

Amen!

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Colton Is Doomed - The Bachelor Season 23 Week 8 Recap

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