Communicating Effectively

Did you ever think about what kind of impression you make on people? We create these impressions through our communications with others. Basically, we communicate in three ways: verbally, the words we speak; vocally, the tone of our voice; and non-verbally, our body language, facial expressions, etc. Frequently we don't even realize that what we're doing is causing poor or negative impressions.

As Christians working in a world that needs to know Christ, we should make the best impression we can. We are, after all, ambassadors for Jesus Christ; we represent him to our world. Since we are perceived by others by the way we communicate with them—including our verbal, vocal and non-verbal communications—don't you think we should be intentional about improving in all those areas, so that we put “our best foot forward,” so to speak?

Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 8:21: For we are taking pains to do what is right, not only in the eyes of the Lord but also in the eyes of men. Taking pains to do what is right—that's a good way to put it, because it really does take effort and concentration to do what is right sometimes. So, let’s talk about these three areas of communications and perhaps give you some ideas about how you can improve—take a few extra pains to do what is right—so that you are making the best impression you can.

Verbal Skills

Verbal communication is our choice of words. You've probably heard the jingle that says, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Well, don't believe it. Words can and do hurt very much. Many times, people react not to the message we have given them, but rather to the way we gave the message.

Think of how often someone has given you some work to do, but she didn't ask in a nice way; no please or thank you. She just demanded you do it and showed no consideration for what you were doing already. If you think about it, you probably reacted very poorly not because you didn't want to do the work, but simply because she didn't ask in a nice or considerate way.

The Bible tells us that: Sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness (Proverbs 16:21 ESV). If we choose our words carefully, not only will it be good for the other person, but we'll discover that we are more persuasive and effective in reaching people.

Watch out for phrases like It's not my fault. It's not my job. That's not a good idea. You can't do that. You'll have to wait until tomorrow. That's so stupid. That's a dumb idea. Remember that you don't like to be told what to do; you don't like to be talked down to in a condescending way; you don't like to be scolded or humiliated or made fun of. So, be careful not to use words that sound demanding, condescending or humiliating to others.

In a meeting one woman was expressing a concern for her parents, and without thinking, another person told her what to do, in a very direct, dictatorial way. I know this person meant very well; she was really trying to help. But the way she communicated, both in her choice of words and the dictatorial tone of her voice, just brought a cold blanket over the whole meeting.

Try your best to avoid sounding like a dictator. Put your instructions in the form of a question; it works beautifully. Instead of "You'll have to call back later," say instead, "Could I ask you to call back later?” Slight change of words but what a difference it makes. Remember, no one likes to be told what to do, so ask instead.

Be especially careful about your choice of words when you have to give someone bad news. Undoubtedly there are times on your job and otherwise when you are required to tell people something they really don't want to hear. When you have bad news, at least soften the blow. Proverbs 16:24 says: Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. If you'll soften the blow,