





Working with difficult or negative people can be stressful. Learn reasons why people act so negatively and what you can do about it. Human Resources expert Tamara Finlay suggests diagnosing the issue using the SCARF model, then shares specific Do’s and Do-Not’s, depending on whether it is your peer, your subordinate or your boss.
 

References & Links
Tamara Finlay

* LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/tamarafinlay/
* Expert Interview on Talk About Talk episode #37: “Communication Media: Phone or Email?” – https://talkabouttalk.com/37-phone-or-email/ 

THE SCARF Model – Dr. David Rock 

*  David Rock – https://davidrock.net
* “Your Brain at Work” by David Rock – https://amzn.to/349u0hQ
* Articles –
* http://web.archive.org/web/20100705024057/http://www.your-brain-at-work.com/files/NLJ_SCARFUS.pdf
* https://hbr.org/2012/10/being-the-boss-isnt-so-stressful
* http://dcntp.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/Readiness_for_change.pdf

Other References  

* “Six Thinking Hats” by Edward de Bono – https://amzn.to/353YiUA
* “Communicating Change” Talk About Talk podcast with Professor Ellen Auster – https://talkabouttalk.com/28-communicating-change-with-ellen-auster/

Talk About Talk & Dr. Andrea Wojnicki

* Free Weekly Email Blog – https://talkabouttalk.com/blog/#newsletter-signup
* Subscribe to the Podcast: https://talkabouttalk.com/podcasts/#subscribe
* Website – https://talkabouttalk.com
* Facebook group – https://www.facebook.com/groups/2512948625658629/
* Andrea’s email – Andrea@TalkAboutTalk.com

 

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT 
Dr. Andrea Wojnicki: Thank you Tamara, so much for joining us here today.
Tamara Finlay: My pleasure. Thank you for having me.
AW: Okay, so communicating with difficult people. I guess by definition, this is a negative topic. I know it’s a topic that causes people a lot of angst as several listeners have emailed or mentioned to me that they have difficult or negative people at work, and they just don’t know how to handle it. They’re looking for some tips on how to best handle this. So in your experience as an HR professional, do you think that it’s common that people have challenges with difficult people? 
TF: I think at the end of the day, we’re human and humans are complex, with such diversity in the workforce right now, more so than ever in our entire history. We all have our unique personalities, preferred ways of communicating and doing things and everything is changing at the speed of light. Inherently people are going to be stressed. stress causes certain behaviors. And I think what we’re seeing is not necessarily negative people. What we’re seeing is people behaving in a way that we may not like.
AW: So this is an interesting question is,

#39 Communicating with NEGATIVE PEOPLE – with HR expert Tamara Finlay

Dr. Andrea Wojnicki is a Harvard-educated executive communication coach whose research focuses on interpersonal communication and consumer psychology.   Learn the communication mindsets and tactics that will help you accelerate your career trajectory. Based on her research and guest interviews, Andrea will coach you on topics including: • overcoming imposter syndrome and communicating with confidence  • developing executive presence and leadership skills • communicating with precision • building your personal brand  • how to leverage storytelling  • improving your listening skills  • how to Introduce yourself and more!   Focusing on your COMMUNICATION SKILLS means elevating your confidence, your clarity, your credibility, and ultimately your impact.  Subscribe to the Talk About Talk podcast and don’t forget to sign up for the free communication skills newsletter –  it’s free communication skills coaching in your email inbox!

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How To

Self-Improvement

Credibility in the workplace starts with confidence. Andrea shares two mindsets and five tactics to help build your confidence and credibility. Her challenge to you is to identify a few suggestions from this list that will help you establish credibility.
 
CONNECT WITH ANDREA & TALK ABOUT TALK

* LinkedIn Andrea –  https://www.linkedin.com/in/andreawojnicki/
* LinkedIn Talk about Talk – https://www.linkedin.com/company/talkabouttalk/
* Website: TalkAboutTalk.com
Newsletter:  https://talkabouttalk.com/blog/#newsletter-signup

Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@talkabouttalkyoutube/


TRANSCRIPT
Recently, I was hired by a CEO to coach one of his middle managers. The CEO told me that this manager was an emerging leader. He was showing signs of being ready for promotion, but he really needed to demonstrate credibility and leadership.
Last week when we were in our third 1:1 coaching session, this young emerging leader admitted to me that he often feels imposter syndrome, and he could use a confidence boost. He and I decided to create a list of strategies for him to improve his confidence and credibility. His list included many many mindsets, frameworks, and tactics that we went through one by one. After our coaching session, I thought: gosh this would be a great list to share with the talk about talk listeners! so what I’ve done is I’ve taken the seven of the strategies on this list and I’m gonna share them with you now. These are the seven strategies that I personally use and that seem to get the most traction with my clients.
This list includes two mindsets and five tactics. My challenge to you is to identify a couple of the things on this list that you can use to help you boost your confidence and your credibility. Are you ready?
 
Welcome to Talk about Talk Podcast Episode #156 Five ways to reinforce your Professional identity. In case we haven’t met, my name is Doctor Andrea. Wojnicki please just call me. I’m your executive communication. I coach and business executives like you to improve their communication skills so you can communicate with confidence and clarity. Credibility. And then you can create impact, ultimately achieving your career goals. Sound good? If you want to learn more, check out talk about talk.com. I’ve got lots and lots of resources for you there. I’ve got one-on-one coaching, bootcamps, online courses, information about corporate workshops, the archive of this bi weekly podcast, and when you’re there, I really hope to sign up for my email newsletter. That newsletter is your chance to get free communication program from me every two weeks. Sound good? 
 
OK let me start with a quick story about my own confidence or lack there of. Some of you may have heard this story before. Early in my career when I was working in brand management at Kraft foods, I was asked to speak at a national sales conference. This was a great honour for me. As you can imagine, I prepared myself thoroughly. When the day finally came, I stepped out on stage… And I completely lost it. My face turned red. My hands turned clammy. I had sweaty armpits. And I was shaking. It was a lovely site. Let me tell you. It was all I could do to walk across the stage grasp onto the podium and read my presentation. Word for Word from my written notes. Pathetic. When I was done, I ran off stage and my boss Sandra asked Me Andrea are you OK? No I’m definitely not. I went to a quiet place and collected my thoughts. First of all,

7 Ways to Boost Your Confidence & Your Credibility (ep. 158)

How can you become your best possible self? Andrea interviews The Possible Self author, Professor Maya Djikic. Learn two false assumptions that will change how you tackle self-improvement, plus, the “Wheel of Self” model that will help you make real change and achieve your goals.
 
MAJA DJIKIC RESOURCES

BOOK: “The Possible Self – A Leader’s Guide to Personal Development” by Professor Maja Djikic – https://amzn.to/4aMBXMJ
LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/majaDjikic/
Faculty Page – https://discover.research.utoronto.ca/11970-maja-Djikic
Maja’s Recommendation: Book – “The Body Keeps the Score“ by Bessel van der Kolk MD

CONNECT WITH ANDREA & TALK ABOUT TALK

* LinkedIn Andrea –  https://www.linkedin.com/in/andreawojnicki/
* LinkedIn Talk about Talk – https://www.linkedin.com/company/talkabouttalk/
* Website: TalkAboutTalk.com
Communication Coaching Newsletter:  https://talkabouttalk.com/blog/#newsletter-signup

YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@talkabouttalkyoutube/


TRANSCRIPT
At Talk About Talk, we spent a lot of time thinking – and talking – about our strengths and our passions. Particularly when it comes to our respective personal brands. We focus on our strengths and our passions, because these are the things that we want to reinforce. But what about our development areas? Or “”areas of opportunity””? Our – dare I say it – our weaknesses?
Recently I had the privilege of being invited to a book talk at the University of Toronto where Professor Maja Djikic spoke about her new book, called the possible self – a leaders guide to self development. This is a book focused on how to overcome your weaknesses.
It was standing room only, and notably, a significant proportion of the audience was comprised of her faithful and loyal students from various programs at the Rotman school of management at the University of Toronto.
Just a few minutes into professor Djikic talk, I decided I need to interview her for a Talk About Talk podcast episode. And here we are.
In this episode, you’re going to learn, about 2 widely-held false assumptions that many of us hold when it comes to self improvement. You’ll learn what the research tells us, and what Professor Djikic recommends we do instead of relying on these false assumptions. Here’s a hint: she calls it the wheel of self.
Welcome to Talk about Talk podcast episode #157 “Self-Improvement & The Possible Self with Professor Maja Djikic”. In this episode, you’re gonna learn how to step it up in terms of your self improvement efforts.
In case we haven’t met, my name is Dr. Andrea Wojnicki please just call me Andrea. I’m your executive communication coach. I coach executives like you to improve your communication skills so you can communicate with confidence and clarity, establish credibility, and ultimately achieve your career goals. Sound good? If you want to learn more, check out the website, talkabouttalk.com. There are lots and lots of resources for you there. There’s one-on-one coaching, boot camps, online courses, information about corporate workshops… I recognize that people learn in different ways. Are you an auditory learner?

Self-Improvement & The Possible Self with Professor Maja Djikic (ep.157)

There are infinite ways that we can reinforce our professional identity or personal brand. Here are 5 of the most direct and specific ways that you can reinforce your professional identity starting right now. Let’s start with the most direct: (1) your self introduction. There’s also (2) speaking up in meetings, (3) demonstrating thought leadership, (4) mentoring, teaching, and learning, and (5) being active and visible. 
 
 
CONNECT WITH ANDREA & TALK ABOUT TALK

* LinkedIn: 

* Andrea –  https://www.linkedin.com/in/andreawojnicki/
* Talk about Talk – https://www.linkedin.com/company/talkabouttalk/


* Website: TalkAboutTalk.com
Communication Coaching Newsletter:  https://talkabouttalk.com/blog/#newsletter-signup

YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@talkabouttalkyoutube/

 

TRANSCRIPT
This episode is going to be a little different from most of the other Talk about Talk podcast episodes that you may have heard. The topic of today’s episode was inspired by a question that I received at a Q&A; question and answer period that I held just earlier this week. This Q&A; was hosted on LinkedIn Live and the topic was establishing your professional identity and your personal brand. Some of my favorite topics right? Let me tell you what this particular question was. The question from one of the viewers was. Andrea. How do I broadcast my brand? Pretty simple question, right? I had an answer immediately and this answer is the truth. It’s my truth and it’s this. I am obsessed. Listing categorizing infinite number. Broadcast. We’re communicating directly through our words and interacting. We’re also communicating constantly online and in person. The number of ways that we broadcast. Looking for something? And that’s when I decided to listen to the podcast episode today. Podcast episode, I’m going to answer the question. I’m gonna share with you 5 specific and significant ways you can reinforce your personal brand or your professional, starting right now. Are you ready? 
Welcome to Talk about Talk Podcast Episode #156 Five ways to reinforce your Professional identity. In case we haven’t met, my name is Doctor Andrea. Wojnicki please just call me. I’m your executive communication. I coach and business executives like you to improve their communication skills so you can communicate with confidence and clarity. Credibility. And then you can create impact, ultimately achieving your career goals. Sound good? If you want to learn more, check out talk about talk.com. I’ve got lots and lots of resources for you there. I’ve got one-on-one coaching. There’s boot camps, information about corporate workshops. Archive of this bi weekly podcast and when you’re there, I really hope to sign up for my Body weekly newsletter. There is an archive of this biweekly podcast, and while you’re at talkabouttalk.com, I really hope you’ll sign up for my e-mail newsletter. That newsletter is your chance to get free communication program from me. Sound good? 
Alright, let’s get into this. Here’s how this episode is going to go. Then I mean a lot on my original answer to this question of how do we broadcast our brand And then I’m going to share with you 5 specific. And significant ways that you can reinforce your personal brand. So we’re going to get a little more actionable here. 
Alright, first defining a personal brand. If you’ve been following the Talk About Talk podcast or receiving ...

5 Ways to Reinforce Your PROFESSIONAL IDENTITY (ep.156)

Gratitude is a communication skill that can build loyalty, serves as a catalyst to connect, and it releases endorphins! Andrea interviews The Currency of Gratitude author Michele Bailey, who shares insights on how to express gratitude in a professional context, how gratitude relates to brand ambassadors, how gratitude relates to reciprocity, whether expressing gratitude makes you sound weak, and some provocative thoughts about work-life balance. 
 
RESOURCES

* BOOK: The Currency Of Gratitude: Turning Small Gestures Into Powerful Business Results by Michele Bailey – https://amzn.to/434Vqpe
* Michele Bailey on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michele-bailey-a111b6a/
* Michele’s agency is BLAZING: https://blazing.agency/
* Recommended podcasts:

* Tim Ferriss – https://tim.blog/podcast/
* Smartless – https://www.smartless.com/
* Happier – https://gretchenrubin.com/podcasts/
* On Purpose – https://www.jayshetty.me/podcast
* Huberman Lab – https://www.hubermanlab.com/podcast
* Voices of leadership – https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/voices-of-leadership-insights-and-inspirations/id1710435149



 
CONNECT WITH ANDREA & TALK ABOUT TALK

* LinkedIn: 

* Andrea –  https://www.linkedin.com/in/andreawojnicki/
* Talk about Talk – https://www.linkedin.com/company/talkabouttalk/


* Website: TalkAboutTalk.com
Communication Coaching Newsletter:  https://talkabouttalk.com/blog/#newsletter-signup

YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@talkabouttalkyoutube/

 

TRANSCRIPT
I have a question for you. What are you grateful for? Who are you grateful for? How often do you explicitly express your gratitude? I mean beyond a simple THANK YOU.
 
Welcome to Talk About Talk Podcast Episode #155, where we focus on the power of gratitude. My guest for this episode is an expert on Gratitude. In fact, she literally wrote the book entitled, The Currency of Gratitude. Her name is Michele Bailey. I can’t wait for you to meet her. 
 
You’re going to learn about the benefits of gratitude, how exactly you can express gratitude in a professional or work context. How gratitude relates to brand ambassadors. And how to think about gratitude and reciprocity. And lots more. Including whether expressing gratitude makes you sound weak, and some provocative thoughts about work life balance. 
Are you ready? 
 
Welcome to the Talk About Talk podcast episode number 155, The Power of Gratitude
 
In case we haven’t met, let me introduce myself. My name is Dr. Andrea Wojnicki and I’m your executive communication coach. Please call me Andrea! 
 I’m the founder of Talk About Talk, where I coach communication skills to ambitious executives like you – to elevate your communication, your confidence and your clarity, so you can establish credibility and then accomplish your career goals.
 
If you go to the TalkAboutTalk.

The Currency of GRATITUDE with Michele Bailey (ep.155)

Andrea coaches you on 5 quick fixes to boost your communication effectiveness: How to avoid upspeak, establish eye contact, focus on others, communicate with precision, and control your narrative. Where should you focus to get traction and improve your communication skills?
 
CONNECT WITH ANDREA & TALK ABOUT TALK

* LinkedIn: 

* Andrea –  https://www.linkedin.com/in/andreawojnicki/
* Talk about Talk – https://www.linkedin.com/company/talkabouttalk/


* Website: TalkAboutTalk.com
Communication Coaching Newsletter:  https://talkabouttalk.com/blog/#newsletter-signup

YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@talkabouttalkyoutube/

 

TRANSCRIPT
Lately, when I’m in coaching sessions, I’ve been noticing a few common mistakes that many executives make. Sometimes it’s a bad habit.  Sometimes it’s just not knowing better. It almost always negatively impacts their credibility. Fortunately, there are quick fixes that can significantly improve their communication effectiveness, and ultimately boost their credibility. 
 
So I thought it might for an impactful episode if I shared with you 5 quick fixes to boost your communication effectiveness. Are you curious what these 5 quick fixes are? Let’s do this.
 
Welcome to the Talk About Talk podcast episode number 154, quick fixes to boost your communication effectiveness. Yes, this is going to be a productive episode.
 
In case we haven’t met, let me introduce myself. My name is Dr. Andrea Wojnicki and I’m your executive communication coach. Please call me Andrea! 
 I’m the founder of Talk About Talk, where I coach communication skills to ambitious executives like you – to elevate your communication and your confidence, so you can establish credibility, and accomplish your career goals.
 
If you go to the TalkAboutTalk.com website, you’ll find many resources to help you out. There’s information there about one-on-one coaching, online courses, bootcamps, corporate workshops, the archive of this bi-weekly podcast, AND, I really hope you’ll sign up for the Talk About Talk newsletter. That newsletter is your chance to get free communication coaching from me. 
 
This is going to be a relatively short episode, but it’s going to be valuable for you. I encourage you to think about which one or two of these five things where you can get the most traction to improve your communication.
 
I encourage you to carefully listen to the definitions, the examples, the stories, and the solutions that I will list for you here. Don’t worry about taking notes. As always, I do that for you. I’ll summarize what the five points are at the very end, and I encourage you to go to the talkabouttalk.com website where you can access the full transcript of this episode.
 
Alright let’s get into this.
 
The first quick fix that I recommend is this Avoid upspeak.
 
1of 5 Quick FIxes: Avoid Upspeak
Upspeak is the habit of ending sentences with a rising intonation, as if posing a question. Kind of like this? It’s a common feature among many speakers?, particularly women and younger individuals,? but it’s not exclusive to them. 
Recently I’ve noticed an uptick in Upspeak. Yeah, got that. And uptick in upspeak.
It’s like upspeak might be a trend.  But this is not a trend you want to join. When you sound as if you’re asking a question, even when it’s not a question,

#39 Communicating with NEGATIVE PEOPLE – with HR expert Tamara Finlay

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