My first journal entry was pretty raw and unfiltered and I apologize for the disturbing images it might evoke. Further entries will be tamer. Maybe.

Cathy’s IOP is “meh”, business is booming, marriage is healing, still need to start a proper podcast.

Cath and I’ll have been dealing with the pain and trauma of my years of betrayal and dishonesty. We love each other and want to make it work, so are working on ourselves and our marriage. Today she goes for a medication management appointment to see if there is a better antidepressant for her needs.

Acknowledge and share your darkness. It gives others the permission to do the same and it’s freeing. Also, scavenger hunt!

Dealing with conspiracy theories and intrusive thoughts. Response to fellow podcaster.

Thinking about going away from the belly-button gazing to do a podcast with more interesting content.

Final thoughts on nurturing. It shouldn’t be scary. Be kind to yourself. Also, I think I’m on the spectrum. And I feel ok about it.

Gratitude focus on people who have shown us kindness. My wife is an inspiration. She has suffered so much from my choices and yet still finds joy in her work with animals, and is determined to make our lives together work. She is my best friend, and I am hers. Merry Christmas!

Nice romantic date. Nice to be relearning each other after 31 years. Great conversation, mediocre food, 5 stars.

To the sex and love addict, a nurturing façade can be a weapon to manipulate others. Part of the “nice guy” syndrome that says if we get along and don’t cause waves, we’ll get our needs met. Instead, let’s focus on honesty with others, and practice sincere nurturing with those we love and truly need our connection. Also, Kevin is re-learning math. He chats aimlessly about electromagnetic field problems and calculus 3.