Gratitude is not a response to having the live that you want, it’s a practiced state of mind. Whether you believe in god or not, a thankful attitude is a key to happiness. I’m thankful for my privileges that allowed me to go to college, practice a career in air-conditioned comfort, as well as the terrible choices I made with my freedom that almost cost me my marriage. I’m thankful for the life we built in spite of my shortcomings and the lessons I’ve learned about love, communication, and vulnerability learned the hard way. I’m thankful for my beautiful wife and for the darkness that almost made me lose her. For the rain and the shelter. For the successes and the day’s when I fall short. I’m always thankful to be alive and when I’m on the way out, I hope that someone will be thankful to have known me. And I’ll be thankful for that knowledge.

Gratitude, how cliché. But real, too. It’s easy (well, not always) to count your blessings and practice gratitude for the good things in your life, but what about the crappy stuff? Maybe they have brought lessons and positive changes that you have to look for.

Pain can guide you to change. Of course, it can also be pointless and random.

A “no recipe” recipe for fried catfish. Crispy outside, flaky inside, perfectly seasoned. The secret is the oil temperature.

Be thankful for the little “pushes” life gives us to encourage change.

On patience, procrastination, and living “as if”.

Encouraging my son to get into talk therapy. Turning a corner on having a friend and being a friend. Being intentionally vulnerable is hard.

Change is awkward. As I came out as an addict, I had lots of changes to make and lost time to make up with my family. I’m about to dive into my relationship with my son who seems to be having struggles similar to mine. He thinks he’s polyamorous. I think he’s addicted to the rush of seeking sex partners. I want to help him by listening, offering my truth, and answering his questions, but not by telling him that he’s wrong, or telling him what to do. I read once that you can’t lead people unless you’ve been where they are and come farther. I hope I’m looking at the situation correctly, because it seems apropos.

My recipe for roasted tomato spaghetti sauce. Great way to show off that new convection oven and use up that abundance of cherry tomatoes you can’t give away fast enough.

If the same actions are not getting the desired result, change what you’re doing. But how do you know what to change? No answers in this episode, just questions.