Competency No. 5

"One of the rare things in my life has been that most people want to tell their truth to me." So says Swedish born, UK-based artist Alexander Lumsden who has dedicated his life to studying art around the world and to his own artistic practice. 

Enjoy a rolling conversation that takes us across countries and continents, all tied together through a deep love for human connection and art. (The presence Alex describes in his artistic flow feels very similar to deep flow as we coach.) Catch the full video on YouTube soon. 

Our Guest

Find Alexander Lumsden on LinkedIn and explore his humanfiguration through bronze, drawing, and printmaking through his studio. 

Our Host

Debbi McCullough, is an executive communications coach for Fortune 500 leaders, a former reporter for the Guardian, the Economist, and the Financial Times. Book her for coaching, training or ICF mentoring here.   Join her training programs on Leland Coaching. Subscribe to her writings via Substack. 

Reading from an excerpt within my upcoming guide I'm soon publishing on why conversations fail. 

TEARS HAVE WORDS. I heard that from my coaching instructors, and I think of it every time a client cries — or I do. 

Most of us are uncomfortable with tears, which signals a deeper flaw: an inability to listen without fixing, which feels kind, even helpful. But too early, and it dodges the reflection that would surface awareness, and then potentially tears, that come when we know the truth behind our problem.  

This reading explores why and how fixing before reflecting and exploring always solves the wrong problem, and the person talking knows it. (Often the receiver of that half-assed listening does too.) Maintaining presence (competency #5) and understanding more deeply why we jump in immediately to fix helps us shift from performative conversations or coaching to more grounded and powerful ones. 

Our Host

Debbi McCullough, is an executive communications coach for Fortune 500 leaders, a former reporter for the Guardian, the Economist, and the Financial Times. Book her for coaching, training or ICF mentoring here.   Join her workshops on Maven here and here. Read her writings on Substack. 

Our host Debbi McCullough asks Hidden Speaker CEO and TEDX speaker Christopher Chin about his transition from engineer to coach, side hustle to full-time coach. It started with paying attention to his body and then taking that faith to give his venture, his 'baby,' his all. 

Our Guest

You can find Christopher Chin on LinkedIn here and his TEDX talk here. Visit his website the Hidden Speaker. 

Our Host

Debbi McCullough, is an executive communications coach for Fortune 500 leaders, a former reporter for the Guardian, the Economist, and the Financial Times. Book her for coaching, training or ICF mentoring here.   Join her workshops on Maven here and here. 

Dedicated AI coaching infrastructure and platforms support roughly 23 million active individuals worldwide. Master Coach Trainer and Author Dr. Marcia Reynolds feels unfazed. Humans are irreplaceable as coaches, she feels, provided we stay present, curious, bold in our inquiry, and willing to share what we notice. 

Debbi and Marcia also take a closer look at detached empathy, staying present, kind, and calm when someone we coach or listen to experiences a range of emotions, anger, outrage, or upset, without stepping in to fix. 

Our Guest

You can find Marcia on LinkedIn here and the new second edition of "Coach the Person, Not the Problem, a Guide to Reflective Inquiry" on Amazon here. Visit Covisioning LLC here. 

Our Host

Debbi McCullough, is an executive communications coach for Fortune 500 leaders, a former reporter for the Guardian, the Economist, and the Financial Times. Book her for coaching, training or ICF mentoring here.   Join her workshops on Maven here and here. 

The Truman Capote technique, letting our senses remember the most important bits of a conversation, (which I learned in journalism school at UC Berkeley) works surprisingly well in coaching. 

I realized this four years ago, when I tried taking notes amidst an early boom in my coaching business. Writing and then trying to read afterwards notes from ten sessions in one day was futile. So I stopped. And I let my memory serve me instead. Which it did, beautifully. 

Over the last five years, I've coached over 10,000 sessions purely off of presence and curiosity. By memory, with no notes, I type up and share with my coachee a crisp, story-like summary after. 

It takes me one to two minutes, in deep flow, to write up what I recall, in ways where clients feel tender and heard. I even remember details years later, if we reunite for friendship or more coaching. I'm convinced the reporting system I've devised helps connect us through the written word long after the coaching conversation ends, and that's what I'm sharing in these short essays, which I read for you in this week's Competency No 5 episode. [Publishing soon to Substack.]

Your show host

Debbi McCullough is an Economist and Financial Times-trained journalist who became a Master Certified Coach with the International Coaching Federation and a communications coach for newly-promoted or promoting Fortune 500 leaders. Book her for coaching, training or ICF mentoring here.   Train with her on Maven here. 

There are 1,676 students in Harvard's Class of 2029 with the entire cohort entering their sophomore year this August. Nicholas McCullough is one of them and one of a handful of Wisconsinites.

In this interview, fodder for chapter 10 of the Harvard Mum Essay Project, we stand with Nick and hear about his summer; his self-funded travels to Europe; and lessons on self calm and time management from having completed his first year of studies and football living 1040+ miles away from home. 

We also learn how he and fellow college athletes cope with the rigorous 60 to 80-hour weeks (combining sports with studies) that come next. Extra naps, focus, and camaraderie tend to save the day. 

You can find Nicholas McCullough on LinkedIn here for internship opportunities. 

Debbi McCullough is an Economist and Financial Times-trained journalist who became a Master Certified Coach with the Intl Coaching Federation and a communications coach for newly-promoted Fortune 500 leaders. Book her for coaching, training or ICF mentoring here.   Train with her on Maven here. 

You can read Harvard Mum Essay Project excerpts on Substack, rolling out as a memoir and essay collection 2029. 

My Harvard son's travels through Europe this year and last year at ages 18 and 19 remind me nostalgically of my own adventures at his age. He self-funded his travels as did I. He went with his mates, with no adult companion. I went solo. 

Reflecting on a journey I took around Nicholas' age, from Christchurch, New Zealand, to Kodaira, on the outskirts of Tokyo, required navigating Shinjuku station along the way, with its 3.5 million daily commuters, then the population of New Zealand. 

Looking back, it was presence, trust, and focus that got me through, and without mobile technology, GPS, or a lick of Japanese language. 

You can read my Substack essay which I read in this episode here. If you or someone you care for want to feel more present with stranger conversation, write to me at [email protected] for a free tip sheet. Put "stranger conversation" in the subject line. 

Debbi McCullough is an Economist and Financial Times-trained journalist who became a Master Certified Coach with the Intl Coaching Federation and a communications coach for newly-promoted Fortune 500 leaders. Book her for coaching, training or ICF mentoring here.   Train with her on Maven here. 

Menopause has more than 34 symptoms recognized by the medical community and around 100 symptoms that women experience. And yet menopause, which impacts 75% of women, remains largely undiscussed and unplanned for. 

In this episode of Competency No. 5, on staying present as we coach, lead, and live, we speak with Simon Salt, a British author based in Florida and newly certified Menopause Coach, whose book The Quiet Transition is underway.

Salt trains men to stay present through their partners' menopause — not to fix it, but to notice it, without judgment. His method: book regular time to sit and ask, and listen. How are you feeling? What symptoms are showing up? What's shifting? What is and isn't working? 

The exchange runs both ways — men share their own experience of the transition, and each partner asks the other for more, less, or none of something. Repeated often, this attention keeps couples oriented through a change most face alone.

It's a case study in presence: show up, ask better questions, resist the urge to solve before you understand.

Follow Simon Salt and The Quiet Transition on Substack, and his other books on Amazon.

Debbi McCullough is an Economist and Financial Times-trained journalist who became a Master Certified Coach with the Intl Coaching Federation and a communications coach for newly-promoted Fortune 500 leaders. Book her for coaching, training or ICF mentoring here.   Train with her on Maven here. 

If you've coached some hours, you've possibly noticed our clients can (at times) become combative, biased, and/or lay down something in front of us which invites our judgment. (Coaches still judge. Of course we do. All of us do. It's part of the human condition.)

We bring back to the show Dr. Marcia Reynolds to unpack those moments and how we can A/maintain our presence and let the judgment go and B/exit the conversation with grace and calm when anything offensive directed at us erodes our presence to the point where we can no longer continue.

Marcia Reynolds is a Global Guru Top 10 and Master Coach Trainer and Author of multiple books, including Coach the Person, Not the Problem Second Edition, now a bestseller on Amazon. 

We hear in this episode how setting intentions and defining how we're willing to be spoken to becomes a powerful tool in heated moments, and one we can all learn from, at work and at home. 

You can find Marcia Reynolds on LinkedIn and find her Second Edition of her bestseller here on Amazon. 

Debbi McCullough has written for the Economist, Financial Times of London, and Guardian. She is certified with the International Coaching Federation as a Master Certified Coach and is a trusted communications coach for Fortune 500/100 leaders. Find her on LinkedIn.  Book her for a consult. Train with her on Maven. 

We sit down with former studio executive on films from Die Hard 5 to The Wolverine, Steven Puri, who learned how to inspire a broad range of teams through this creative work. 

He's now sharing tips and techniques to help leaders and teams perform at their best and does so as a speaker, serial entrepreneur, and CEO of the Sukha Company, a productivity app which helps stop burnout before it starts. 

Hear from a new dad who is finally "getting" what parents mean when they delight in the time they do receive to focus.

We hear about the vibrant feeling that comes when focus time becomes a scarcity. 

And we hear the need for pragmatism. Knowing (and accepting) when we can and cannot complete a complex or highly creative task boosts our presence and focus. Acceptance helps us not put unreasonable expectations on ourselves nor dilute our focus from what's immediately before us. (For Steven, for moments throughout his day, that's his infant son.)

For all the dads out there, happy Father's Day. This episode I devote to you. And for everyone wanting to find more about their flow state, Steven has even more tips, which he'll share, when I bring him back to the show for part II. 

You can find out more about Steven Puri and the Sukha Company here. Connect with him on LinkedIn here. 

Debbi McCullough is a Master Certified Coach and communications coach for Fortune 100/500 leaders and a former reporter for the Guardian, the Economist, and the FT of London. Book her for coaching, training or ICF mentoring here.   Train with her on Maven here.