We made it through a southern snow storm to bring you the latest in just ok content. We’re deep diving into the latest teen tripe To All The Boys: Always and Forever.

It’s a bird! It’s a plane with a yak on board! No! It’s the three headed dragon emperor heading toward the Great Wall of China in this tedious, unnecessary third installment of The Mummy Franchise.

Like Imhotep, we have been pulled from the desert sands, have been melted out of our amber prisons and have sucked the organs and skin from some hapless brigands. We revisit Egypt this week to break down the 2001 classic The Mummy Returns.

This week, we’re discussing The Mummy (1999). Perhaps the most formative, historically accurate, sexuality awakening movie we’ve ever covered.

After a frank discussion of human bathroom indignities, we revisit our favorite episodes of 2020. We’re pulling the golden nuggets from the stinky mud pile that was this year, and flushing the rest into the obscurity of history.

Don’t you wish we would tackle the narrative mess that is Wonder Woman 1984? This week, we are! We ask the tough questions like what war was it? and why was Cheetah? and how does flying work? and is it a sex crime? and is that it?

This week, we’re wrapping up the Twilight Saga by staying true to the text and smooshing together Breaking Dawn parts 1 & 2. We talk about the problematic moments, who we’d FML and Marisa interrupts Joey—INCORRECTLY— and gets her comeuppance. Tune in.

This week, we’re covering the third movie in the Twilight Saga Eclipse. We laugh, we cry, we ask ourselves: “Why does this exist?”And we also talk about how amazing Patrick Swayze was, regardless of Marisa’s bad opinions.

This is round two of the Stephanie Meyers Extended Cinematic Universe. We’re calling on our gifts of determining relationships, pain illusion and enhanced self-preservation to cover the second part of the Twilight Saga New Moon.

Snuggle up with your stinky lab partner, put on your boobiest prom dress and whoosh through the trees with us as we fly back through time to tackle the worldwide vampire phenomenon Twilight.