The contenders are fierce, the foolishness is premium, and the stupidity is artisanal. We’re talking a dog with a shotgun (yes, really), a driver who treated wet cement like a personal challenge, a Popeye’s break‑in that turned into a full‑on cooking show, and a substitute teacher who got so drunk they passed out in the pickup line like it was nap time. Buckle up — the Idiot of the Week crown is going to be hard‑earned.

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