Confidence Covered By Humility

If you want to improve your company culture and boost your employee engagement, there are three Foundational Conversations that managers need to implement on a consistent basis:

1. The Expectations Conversation
2. The Priorities Conversation
3. The Performance Conversation

When people have clarity, they know exactly:

• What they’re doing,
• Why they’re doing it,
• Which things are a priority, and
• How they’re doing.

This gives your employees the confidence to do their best work and contributes to the metrics that are so important in business.

Don't miss this: when people are unsure about what to do, they tend to not do it. They fill that time working on other things until they can get the response they need from their supervisor.

** Confidence Covered By Humility is a podcast by James Mayhew for anyone who wants to lead their business, their team and their home with humble confidence.

Connect with James on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jamesrmayhew/

Watch James' video series for building a High Performance Workplace Culture on YouTube

Schedule a meeting to talk with James.

I'm curious… Are you going to a job today? Or, are you going to work?

Even though we use those words interchangeably, there’s actually a significant difference between the two.

And that’s the topic for this episode of Confidence Covered by Humility.

• Understand how your Christian faith impacts your work
• Your work is important to God
• Your faith gives you confidence in your abilities
• Faith gives your work greater purpose and meaning
• Your faith shapes your work by keeping you humble and honest

Confidence Covered By Humility is a podcast by James Mayhew for anyone who wants to lead their business, their team and their home with humble confidence.

Connect with James on LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/jamesrmayhew/

Watch this video series for building a High Performance Workplace Culture:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBGgrjEdy18&list=PL_CshlQDwEH7r-H281v9MkXSspjlihgmH

Schedule a meeting to talk with James.

https://calendly.com/mayhew/connect

There's the old saying, ignorance is bliss. But in business, being ignorant is never blissful. In fact, it's stressful, reckless and makes you vulnerable.

In this edition of the Iron Sharpens Iron segments, James breaks down 5 ways that you can work to reduce your vulnerabilities around the things that you don't know that you don't know and avoid the pain and potential harm they could do.

You know the things you know. You also know about the things that you don't know;

But, you are blind to the things that you don't know that you don't know. And this is where you can are most vulnerable and exposed to setbacks and potential catastrophic mistakes.

#1 Build a network of peers.

This is essential because you can share stories with others who understand where you’re at. Even if they don’t have the answer, they can probably tell you what they tried, what worked, and what didn’t work and that can be valuable information to have, too. 

#2 Attend a workshop, conference, or webinar.

Similar to networking there are always events, seminars and webinars you can learn from. Don’t miss this: part of your job as leader is learning. No one has all the answers, so make sure you’re investing in learning about your industry, related industries, and the skills you and your team need. 

Bonus tip: Make sure you’re not just learning to learn or for the experience. If you attend a conference, set goals and objectives with each of your team about what they want to come away with before the conference. Then, break it down with them after and create actual implementation goals. This is the only way you can ensure you have a return on your investment. 

#3 Build up your presence on LinkedIn and engage with people.

LinkedIn is where it’s at. There’s an enormous amount of wisdom, knowledge and experience there. The vast majority of people there are producing useful content and sharing valuable knowledge. 

You’ll find links to podcasts and videos of various professionals. There is a treasure chest of opportunity there to learn from and grow your network. 

Don’t be a lurker either, get involved and engage with others even if you’re not ready to post yet.

#4 Commit to being a learner.

Perhaps you’ve heard the sayings, leaders are readers and learners are earners. In my experience, both of those statements are absolutely true.

Books, videos, podcasts and e-courses are great learning opportunities. Turn your car into a classroom and listen to audiobooks and podcasts. 

#5 Hire a coach.

Athletes like Tom Brady who played at the highest levels into their mid 40s. All of them have used various coaches throughout their careers. 

So why not you? Why wouldn’t you use a coach to help you improve your business? Sometimes our own pride gets in the way. It’s easy to think that’s for others. Perhaps it’s viewed as weak or you don’t want to be vulnerable. 

A business coach or a leadership coach will help you see things you don’t see. Here’s some ways a coach can help you:

1. They’ll help you navigate through challenges. 
2. They can be a sounding board to bounce ideas around. 
3. The’ll hold you capable to your goals. 

** Confidence Covered By Humility is a podcast by James Mayhew for anyone who wants to lead their business, their team and their home with humble confidence.

Connect with James on LinkedIn

Watch these short videos about how to build a High Performance Workplace Culture.

Schedule a meeting to talk with James.

There will be a time when all of us are faced with the reality that we aren’t going to live forever.

When you’re young, active and healthy, you don’t expect to hear that you have a disease, especially cancer.

But that’s exactly what today’s guest has been dealing with.

I invited Melissa to share her journey with you today for this reason.

Her courage, bravery and determination are amazing, but she told me how she discovered something new.

Something that had changed her entire outlook.

She said that breast cancer gave her meaning and purpose.

And when she said those words, it impacted me and I know they’re going to impact you as well.

Here’s my sit-down with Melissa White…

Additional Content

Be sure and listen to Melissa's first interview with James where she talks about having grit and resilience at Lead Thru Values from August 26, 2022.

Balanced Fitness & Health Website: https://www.balancedfitnessandhealth.com/

Phone: (319) 693-7745

Email: [email protected]

Hurriedness is one of the biggest - if not the biggest threat to our joy, our fulfillment and our success in life.

We need to address this issue because for some reason here in America, we celebrate movement over results.

We seem to have forgotten that going faster does not lead to getting more things done.

We compare who had a busier weekend.

How many places we serve or volunteer at.

How many activities our kids are in.

And being hurried and rushed just makes us look dumb, unprepared, and amateurish.

• Hurriedness impacts you personally.
• Hurriedness impacts your productivity and efficiency.
• Hurriedness impacts your relationships.
• Our pride and ego is a driving factor for being in a constant state of hurried.
• Overcommitting and lacking systems will ensure you'll feel hurried.

1. Identify the factors that cause you to be hurried.

2. Change your perspective.

3. Get clarity

** Confidence Covered By Humility is a podcast by James Mayhew for anyone who wants to lead their business, their team and their home with humble confidence.

Connect with James on LinkedIn

High Performance Workplace Culture Video Series

https://jamesmayhew.com

Our problem with waiting has less to do with time... and a LOT more to do with our need for control.

David Condry, Lead Pastor of Blessed Hope Community Church joins James to discuss the challenge of "waiting".

Talking Points:

• Waiting makes us feel like we're wasting time and/or missing opportunities.

• Waiting is a positive thing

• Waiting is not in activity

• What "running to keep up with Jesus" means and how we might misinterpret it

Psalm 27 is the featured text in this podcast.

** Confidence Covered By Humility is a podcast by James Mayhew for anyone who wants to lead their business, their team and their home with humble confidence.

Connect with James on LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/jamesrmayhew/

High Performance Workplace Culture Video Series

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBGgrjEdy18&list=PL_CshlQDwEH7r-H281v9MkXSspjlihgmH

Website

https://jamesmayhew.com

"Everyone here, everyone on this earth has a light that's buried inside of them. And it's our goal to get back to that child that we once were, that had goals, dreams, aspirations before the world destroyed our our vision, and put that fear of failure on us."

– Jacob Brown, Transformational Speaker

In this edition of 'Iron Sharpens Iron', James highlights 3 life lessons from his interview with Jacob Brown.

Jacob’s platform is “fail forward.” It’s the concept that when you fail, you’re still learning and as long as you keep going, you’re making progress toward your goals or dreams.

But the truth is you won’t make progress if you let fear stop you from even trying. The fear of failure will keep you on the sidelines, keep you out of the game. You have to be willing to put yourself out there and risk being embarrassed, or failing.

When Jacob talked about the Golden Buddha, he makes a point that when you overcome self doubt and self-imposed limitations, that your story shows others what’s possible. It inspires to believe that maybe, “I can do it, too!”

That’s the connectedness of the human existence. Other people inspire us to try the thing that we don’t feel qualified for because we see the difficulty they had to go through; the resilience and perseverance and grit it took.

As the clay and the mud that conceals your God-given gifts starts to chip away you start to think differently, act differently, relate differently, believe differently.

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** Confidence Covered By Humility is a podcast by James Mayhew for anyone who wants to lead their business, their team and their home with humble confidence.

Connect with James on LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/jamesrmayhew/

High Performance Workplace Culture Video Series

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBGgrjEdy18&list=PL_CshlQDwEH7r-H281v9MkXSspjlihgmH

Website

https://jamesmayhew.com

Transformational Speaker, Jacob Brown joins the podcast to discuss what it means to have 'power under control'.

Show Notes

• What does it mean to "fail forward"

• Fear and Imposter Syndrome

• I believe in you

• Becoming a Transformational Speaker

• The Hero's Journey

• What it means to hit 'rock bottom'

• The story of the Golden Buddha

• Faith

• Meek: power under control

• Leadership lessons

• Speak what you seek until you see what you've said

Connect with Jacob

Jacob's Website: https://failforwardbrown.com

Varlo Cycling/Triathlon Apparel: https://varlosports.com

Connect with Jacob on LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/jacobaaronbrown/

It was the summer of 1990 and I was 19. I was standing on a long stretch of straight road in rural Iowa as part of a survey crew where we were marking a road to be resurfaced.

It was the first day helping this crew, a nice departure from doing other entry level jobs for the Secondary Roads department.

Carl was my boss and he was walking briskly straight towards me and he was furious.

As he got within 20 feet or so he started shouting, Quit screwing around! Pay attention! Get your head out of your rear! Except he used, shall we say, some more intense and colorful words.

I stood there bewildered as he tore me apart.

What happened next was a great learning experience for me and it’s become an effective illustration that I use in my business when speaking about healthy and unhealthy communication.

Earlier this week I hosted a breakout session for the Resilience and Wellbeing Summit in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. My topic was on Healthy Communication and I used this story about my summer job in 1990 to set it up, and it’s something I want to share with you today as we talk about being Approachable.

If you are tasked with leading a team of any size, then you must embrace this concept of being approachable. 

Here’s why this is so critical: If you’re not approachable then without a doubt you’re missing vital information that would enhance your team’s success.

When you’re approachable

• you’ll gain respect from team members
• you’ll have more open dialogue
• it reduces the amount of mistakes that occur
• you’ll see improvement in productivity
• you’ll have a more cohesive team
• and you’ll see that it instills confidence in others.

When you’re not approachable, basically the opposite is happening:

• communication is incomplete
• people are afraid to make decisions on their own
• there are more mistakes
• it reduces morale and lowers productivity.

So being approachable should be a no-brainer.

So let’s talk about factors that might limit your approachability for others.  

1. You are moody. 

Moody people are up and down and this creates a feeling of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde from your team. They don’t know which version they’re going to experience from day to day and it causes them to ask, “Hey, what mood is James in today? Is this a good time to talk about that problem we keep having?” 

And when people realize today is not a good day because you’re in one of those moods, they just keep limping along which will impact your customer satisfaction and team morale. Two big things you can’t afford to compromise on.

2. You lack control over your emotions.

If you’re known for losing your temper, it will create a sense of fear and apprehension and you can be certain others won’t come to you as frequently or with as much detail because they don’t want to get yelled at or endure your meltdown. A wise CEO once explained his approach which is to never get too high during the highs and never get too low during the lows.

3. You give off that “Vibe.” 

You know what I mean here. You say things like, My door is open, you can always come to me. Except your face and your body language say otherwise. People read that and they know that this is NOT the time to come in. 

And the dangerous part about is that you end up getting frustrated when you learn that others perceive you as overly busy, and you react negatively towards them for not being willing to interrupt you!

Be careful here because that is destructive to your team’s view of you as their leader and it will unravel even further very quickly.

4. You are stressed. 

People who are stressed are often hurried and rushed. They’re trying to make up time, trying to beat the clock, racing from meeting to meeting. A stressed boss creates a stressed team and it will prevent people from communicating openly with you.

5. Your ego. 

When your confidence is unchecked you become arrogant. And arrogance is directly tied to your ignorance. That’s because overly confident people don’t ask for help and often portray, “I’ve got this.” They don’t seek input from others. They believe they’re supposed to have all the answers. 

There’s a great quote by Andy Stanley that says, “Leaders who don't listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.”

 6. Your timidness. 

This is another factor in approachability. We have to also talk about the timid leader who avoids conflict, resists giving feedback, or is reluctant to make decisions. Weak leaders actually are very approachable, however, because people have zero confidence that they’ll do anything with it, they choose go to someone else will help them.

7. You don’t make time to get to know the people on your team or around your company. 

Building strong relationships is a huge factor in your approachability. When people simply don’t know you, they won’t be as open with you. 

They’ll withhold ideas, concerns and suggestions. You’ll always have better dialogue with people when they sense you care about them and their needs and goals.

8. You are intimidating. 

Be careful with this one because you might be setting the example so high that others can’t possibly match it.  

It could be that you’re always the first one in in the morning or always the last to leave (or both!)

It could be your level of quality and excellence you produce seems like it can’t be matched and they wonder how you consistently pull it off.

These aren’t bad - in many cases they’re great! But a humble and confident leader realizes that at times they have to show their vulnerabilities - their weaknesses. 

Not in a way to make others feel better - that’s false humility - but to show others that you’ve made mistakes, how you struggle at times… and it’s these situations that makes others respect you even more and it inspires them to do the same.

Being approachable is an essential quality for anyone who leads others. 

 Have you ever considered that your approachability is actually something that can be evaluated?

I actually work with senior executives and people in management all the time on how to be more approachable and specific areas to work to improve on.

If you don’t have a coach, you can still get this feedback by inviting others to hold you accountable and point out how you are coming off to others during times of stress or help you with your communication through your body language. 

Let’s go back to the summer of 1990 and what happened as Carl tore me apart for being lazy, worthless and not paying attention…

Carl was so mad that I was missing the marks on the road as our crew of 3 was trying to get going. 

I felt like I was one inch tall. Doug, who was “my friend” and another part-timer like me, said “Can’t you see this?!” 

“Only if I’m right on top of it. Can you see it easily?”

“Yeah it’s bright red.”

“Well, for me it’s a shade of gray.”

“Are you color blind??”

“I must be because that red crayon is red until you put it on the asphalt. Then it’s just a darker shade of gray.”

Carl grabbed a yellow marker. With a heavy dose of cynicism he said, “Can you see that one?”

“Yes. Perfectly. Switch to that!”

We got going again. And I didn’t miss another mark on the rest of the job. Just miles and miles smooth sailing.

Carl never apologized. But on a Thursday afternoon, after a week of 90 degree temps, we finished. He told us he was taking us into town for a milkshake.

While I was standing there with Carl and Doug waiting for that wonderful chocolate shake, Carl said, “You did a good job this week.”

That was it. Nothing more was said. In that moment, it was enough…

But here’s what I want you to take away from my experience 33 years ago…

Don’t be like Carl. :) 

Don’t assume the worst. Carl could’ve been more patient, kinder. He could have led with some humility. And he definitely could’ve treated me with some dignity that day.

Because when you lead with confidence that’s covered with humility, dignity that becomes a natural expression. 

Not everyone has it, but if you’re listening to this podcast, I’ll bet you do.

I’m James Mayhew and I am blessed to partner with leaders to build purpose-driven organizations that are filled with talented people doing exceptional work on the most important things.

As always, I want to thank you for coming along on this journey with me and I’ll see you again on the next episode.

Learn more about Christianity here:

https://questions.org

Ask your hard questions about Jesus, God and what it all means here:

https://billygraham.org/answers

Confidence Covered By Humility is a podcast by James Mayhew for anyone who wants to lead their business, their team and their home with humble confidence.

Connect with James on LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/jamesrmayhew/

High Performance Workplace Culture Video Series

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBGgrjEdy18&list=PL_CshlQDwEH7r-H281v9MkXSspjlihgmH

Website: https://jamesmayhew.com

I am captivated by people who are bold and unwavering when they speak about their faith. Especially when it comes after a hardship, a setback or a loss.

That’s exactly how a college athlete spoke after a heartbreaking defeat in the 2023 NCAA Women’s Basketball Tournament.

During the postgame press conference, a reporter wanted to find out if this particular loss in the Elite 8 would be a motivator for the star athlete.

Her response was an epic one, and that’s the topic for this episode of Confidence Covered By Humility.

Faith is a huge part of my life and therefore, a huge part of my business. It guides my decisions and goals. It helps me determine how I serve clients. And, knowing not just who I am, but Who’s I am, allows me to serve with both confidence and humility.

And that takes me right back to the story about the women’s basketball player whose response to a reporter’s question was something to be remembered.

Hailey Van Lith is a point guard for the Louisville Cardinals. She’s known for her toughness, her competitiveness, and her leadership.

After the Elite 8 loss on March 26, she was asked by a reporter, “What does coming up short in your goal of making it to the Final Four mean for your off season?”

Even though I’m an Iowa Hawkeye through and through, and it was the Hawkeyes that Hailey had just lost to, I have to say that her confident response gave me goosebumps.

She said, and I quote,

That is such an impressive answer to me. Because it came in a moment where she’s on stage, one step away from her and her team’s goal to make the final four.

Here’s why that is such a remarkable statement: God doesn’t see you or I or Hailey Van Lith as being on His first team, second team, or honorable mention. In God’s eyes you are precious and honored.

Psalm 139: 13-14 reads, “For you created my innermost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

In 2 Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come. The old has gone, the new is here!”

That means when you have accepted Jesus, you are made new in Him. Your slate is wiped clean and the things from your past that you think are unforgivable … are forgiven. You are pure. You are redeemed.

If you’re a believer, this is the reason why you can and should be confident. You have the Holy Spirit within you and that is a constant reminder to you that you’re not an accident, that you’re not a mistake. You aren’t just an honorable mention. No, no. You are an MVP.

I’ve been blessed to have met some very impressive people over the years. But the ones who are most impressive to me - the one’s that captivate me - are the people who know who they are, and Who’s they are.

They carry themselves differently - with a humble confidence that is courageous but not reckless, strong and kind. They don’t seek credit or the spotlight; in fact they prefer that others receive it. They’d rather serve rather waiting to be served.

Not that long ago I was working with a client to design and deliver something we called a leadership university. He wanted to address the group for a few minutes to kick the morning off. And what he did was create a beautiful moment. He looked around the room and as he made eye contact with each person said, “You have magnificent talents. I’m so grateful you’re here. I believe this is the best group of people we’ve ever had at one time. Thank you.”

And as he said that you could see the expressions on people’s faces change. I’m fairly certain that for some, it was the first time anyone had ever told them they had magnificent talents.

What he did that morning was instill confidence through a spirit of gratitude. He could have made it about him, but he chose to make it about them.

That’s what it looks like when you let your faith lead you with a confidence that’s covered by humility.