Resonance is what happens when Person A brings their caring, curious attention to Person B in an attempt to truly understand them, and Person B responds with—Yes, that's it! You get me!

In this week’s episode, I explore how resonance changes the brain and contributes to better communication and decision-making, and how to listen to people so they really feel heard.

If you’re longing for a deeper connection with yourself and the people in your life, this one is for you.

Learn More from Katherine:

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How to Prepare for Difficult Conversations at Work

Katherine’s LinkedIn page

Center for Callings & Courage

If you develop side-eyed skepticism when you hear people talking about listening to their bodies, you’re not alone.

Research shows that most people don’t believe that knowing what we feel makes any difference at all.

In today’s podcast episode—Why It's Important to Name Emotions, Even If You Don't Believe it—I’ll present to you four arguments for why noticing and naming what we feel in our bodies does indeed matter very much.

I hope you’ll be willing to suspend disbelief momentarily, and hear me out, especially if you’re experiencing any conflict interpersonal dynamics you wish were different.

Whether you find it hard to believe that noticing your body matters or you’re a somatics junkie already steeped in this stuff, this is for you.

Learn More from Katherine:

Emotions Wheels & Feelings List

How to Prepare for Difficult Conversations at Work Free Online Course

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Katherine’s LinkedIn page

Center for Callings & Courage

I invite you to recall an interaction you’ve had—either recently or farther in the past—where you came out wishing things had gone differently.

Now, imagine what you might have done before you entered the interaction that could have helped it get off to a better start and end in a better place.

This week, I’ll explore 10 factors that I’ve wished I’d considered before heading into difficult interactions in the past and that I consider most important.

To hear why each of these matters more and how to apply each to a difficult conversation you’re facing, tune in!

 

Learn More from Katherine:

The Discernment Pause Episode

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Center for Callings & Courage

Over the past thirteen years of coaching my clients, I’ve discovered one simple practice that consistently helps my clients lovingly move less-than-helpful parts take a backseat, reclaim the wheel of their lives, and engage challenging interpersonal dynamics effectively.

I return to this practice whenever I need to prepare for a challenging conversation. I call it the Discernment Pause.

In today’s podcast, I’ll walk you through the five steps of the Discernment Pause:

Noticing when you feel activated, and pausing.

Turning toward yourself with care and curiosity.

Getting curious about what you feel, want, and need.

Getting curious about what your situation and other people need.

Choosing your next step.

If you want clarity about anything, especially tense interpersonal dynamics, this is for you.

Learn More from Katherine:

Emotions Wheels & Feelings Lists

Needs List

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Katherine’s LinkedIn page

Center for Callings & Courage

When clients first come to me, they often say they want to break a bad habit or develop the discipline to stop reacting in certain ways.

But discipline means punishment for the sake of correction, and trying to force, control, and self-dominate ourselves into change rarely works.

When we understand where our habitual reactions arise from and develop awareness of what’s happening in our bodies, it can be easier to take a far more effective approach toward change.

In this week’s episode, I’ll share why we often react in ways we later regret and the key to unlocking habit change.

If you long to improve your relationships, take better care of yourself, and consistently take the actions that lead to change, I hope you’ll tune in.

Learn More from Katherine:

To receive new episodes along with other nourishment for your mind, heart, and body, subscribe to Love Letters for Changemakers

How to Prepare for Difficult Conversations at Work Free Online Course

Katherine’s LinkedIn page

Center for Callings & Courage

Friendship. It’s one of the most important ingredients of a well-lived life. And yet, real friendship in which we can show up as and share care for our full, authentic selves, can be so hard to find—and so hard to maintain—in these times. Especially interracially, especially between white women and black women.

That’s why I was so excited that my guests this week, Tanisha Arena and JAC Patrissi agreed to get real with me and share their real-life story of growing a deep, abiding friendship.

About Tanisha & JAC:

Tanisha Arena is a Black woman in community leadership as the Executive Director of Arise for Social Justice in Springfield, Ma. She holds a Masters in Non-Profit Management and is an educator at Growing A New Heart, where she trains regularly on Holding Space: holding affinity, anti-racism, self-education and support groups and Dialogues Across Differences of social location, including race and ethnicity. Tanisha has deep roots in the field of anti-violence work, specializing in community advocacy and responses to intimate partner violence within the LGBTQ community.

JAC Patrissi is white woman engaged in kinship minded anti-racist work within a loving multi-racial transformative collective at Growing a New Heart. JAC was tutored in Popular Education by Paolo Freire and is a trained body-centered trauma clinician. She is co-founder of A Call For Change, a non-carceral helpline for people who cause harm in intimate relationships and community. Since 1989, she has been and anti-violence advocate working with survivors while learning and practicing non-carceral accountability practices for people using violence and control and other tools of dominance.

Learn More from Tanisha & JAC’s Work:

Growing a New Heart

Learn More from Katherine:

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Katherine’s LinkedIn page

Center for Callings & Courage

When we look at the state of waning democracy and rising authoritarianism in the US, it can be so hard to know what to do. Because our power to impact national policy is so limited, for many of us, it can feel like our hands are tied.

Yes, we can attend rallies, boycott companies that support authoritarianism, and vote in local elections. But these actions can feel small compared to the federal government's incessant violence.

So, what are we to do?

In this episode, we’ll share practical steps you can take now to grow democracy in your community and develop the collective strength to undermine authoritarianism. Hint: It’s all about how we engage conflicts with each other and develop our ability to widen our tent.

About Jiva Manske:

Jiva Manske has been organizing since he was twelve years old. He’s now a strategist, partner, and dad who works with people around the world to build powerful, transformational movements.

As Director of Strategic Initiatives for the 22nd Century Initiative, Jiva works to build a more resilient, innovative, and aligned pro-democracy field. He grounds his approach in commitments to accountability through collective action, organizing led by those most impacted by injustice, and healing-centered practice.

Learn more from Jiva:

22ci.org

The Anti-Authoritarian Playbook

The Anti-Authoritarian Podcast

Harnessing Our Power to End Political Violence

Learn More from Katherine:

To receive new episodes along with other nourishment for the fight ahead, subscribe to Love Letters for Changemakers

Katherine’s LinkedIn page

Center for Callings & Courage

Related Episodes:

Imagination is Political: Dreaming Together with Desiree Adaway

How to Address Harmful Impact using Nonviolent Communication with Roxy Manning

If you ever feel overwhelmed by everything you read online, torn between wanting to keep up with what’s happening and wanting to protect your peace, or struggling in your relationship with online information in another way, my conversation with Danielle Reiff is for you.

Danielle and I talk about:

How to interact with online information in ways that diffuse rather than inflame conflict.

How we can stay informed in these times without draining our time or energy.

What to watch out for to not feed into the rumors, lies, and gossip out there.

How to engage with social media and online news in ways that make us stronger, not weaker.

About Danielle Reiff:

Danielle Reiff is a peacebuilder, writer, and editor of Overcoming Information Chaos: A Guide to Building Peaceful Communities in the Digital Age. As a member of the U.S. diplomatic corps for twenty years, Danielle specialized in supporting democratic transitions and peacebuilding around the world.

After retiring, she founded the non-partisan Peacebuilders initiative to promote empathy, dialogue, consultation, and other forms of nonviolence for advancing social change and political reform. Danielle has been a Baha’i since 1997.

Learn More with Danielle:

 www.peacebuildersunite.com

Danielle on LinkedIn

Danielle on Instagram

Danielle on Facebook

Additional Resources:

Dangerous Speech Podcast

Roxy Manning: How to Address Harmful Impact with Nonviolent Communication (Conflict Decoded episode)

Learn More with Katherine:

Callingsandcourage.com

Katherine’s LinkedIn page

To receive new episodes along with other nourishment for the fight ahead, subscribe to Love Letters for Changemakers

If we are to have any chance of bringing forth a world in which all people have the power necessary to meet their needs, we must develop the governance structures necessary to wield our power effectively.

In this episode, I speak with Ted Rau, co-founder of Sociocracy for All, about ways to govern our groups and organizations that empower people to work together well. We talk about:

Why majority rules systems inevitably lead to conflict

The difference between consent-based decision-making and consensus

The four pillars of resilient organizations

How to move from brainstorming to action

How to experiment with new governance and new projects in safe enough ways

And much more!

Even if you love the people in your group and your mission, if you don’t share clarity about who decides what and how we decide, then problems will emerge.

If you want your group to do what needs to be done, while avoiding power games, drama, and the decision-making bottlenecks, this is for you.

About Ted:

Ted is an advocate, trainer and consultant for self-governance. After earning a PhD in linguistics and working in academia, Ted co-founded the membership organization Sociocracy For All in 2016 and spends his days consulting mission-driven organizations, advocating and training on self-governance, and deeply immersed in the work as a member within Sociocracy For All.

Ted is the author of four books on self-governance, which I link to in the show notes, and he has five children between 12 and 22 years old.

Learn More from Ted:

Sociocracy for All

75-Minute Free Video Primer on Sociocracy

Ted’s Books: Many Voices One Song (2018), Who Decides Who Decides (2021), Collective Power (2023), From Here to There (2025)

Learn More from Katherine:

Episode with Donnie MacClurcan: Why Capitalism Makes Us Tense & What to do About it (Donnie’s organization, the Post-Growth Institute governs itself with sociocracy and is a great model for how this process can work)

To receive new episodes along with other nourishment for the fight ahead, subscribe to Love Letters for Changemakers

Katherine’s LinkedIn page

Center for Callings & Courage

In this weeks episode of Conflict Decoded, I share:

One reason we often get stuck focusing on what doesn’t work,

How focusing on what’s good increases effectiveness,

Step-by-step instructions for facilitating Appreciative Interviews, and

2 quick questions to start team meetings with immediate connection.

If you long for your team to experience greater cohesion, joy, and resilience in these times, then 'Appreciative Interviews: One Hour to Boost Team Joy & Pride' is for you.

Related episodes:

Appreciation at Work: How to Grow Strengths, Not Toxic Positivity

How to Center Radical Love in Challenging Times with Shiree Teng

Why Capitalism Makes Us Tense & What to do About it with Donnie Maclurcan

Learn more from Katherine:

Team Coaching

Katherine’s LinkedIn page

To receive new episodes along with other nourishment for the fight ahead, subscribe to Love Letters for Changemakers

Callingsandcourage.com