CongreGate

Today we are talking about how to cultivate prayer, both in our personal spiritual lives and in the church body.

A couple of years ago, we taught on prayer at our men's retreat. The most helpful resource we have found for cultivating a stronger prayer life is called Praying the Bible by Donald S. Whitney. He teaches a simple method for using the words of scripture to guide prayer, which we spent time studying and practicing. Many of the men in the church have reported stronger prayer habits after changing their method of prayer to include praying through scripture.

We also share some practical tips on prayer. For example, try walking to help stay focused during prayer time. Leave your e-mail and the news until after you spend time with the Lord. Recognize that you won't have soul-stirring experiences every day, and remember that the daily discipline still produces growth. Set aside times for intentional prayer, but also be ready to pray spontaneously throughout the day.

How should we respond when our wives are discouraged about their appearance? Today we are talking about protecting our wives from discontentment with their physical appearance. We discuss how to encourage our wives and guard their hearts from cultural influences and impossible standards, while our society promotes the idea that women should look flawless and never show signs of aging.

We talk about a recent article from Fox News, in which one of the news anchors writes about the severe side effects of cosmetic surgery she had undergone. Her elective procedure was to combat the effects of aging, but she later regretted the decision.  She wondered how the outcome would have been different if she should have been content with her body.

How can we guard our wives hearts from discontentment and encourage our wives as their bodies change and age? We need to be praising our wives for their character. They need to feel their value is in more than just how they look. Wives and daughters do need to be told they are beautiful, but we need to emphasize the beauty that comes from Christ in them.

As men, we need to guard our own hearts against criticism and comparison. When we notice imperfections in our wives, we need to deal with that sin in our own hearts so that we can help our wives fight their own discontentment.

Also, Mark admits to sneaking out and stealing his parents car when he was 15…

Today we are talking about protecting your marriage. A couple of weeks ago, Mike Pence was criticized for protecting his marriage by refusing to dine alone with a women who is not his wife. Also known as the "Billy Graham Rule", Graham kept this standard in order to protect his reputation and the reputation of his ministry. Both of these men understand that we are sinful people, living in a world that is watching us live out our faith.

Pence and Graham set a good example by setting high standards for themselves. As Bible-believing men, we need to be thoughtful about ways we can protect our marriages. Most of the men in our church meet in weekly accountability groups, which includes some questions and discussion on this topic. This is one way our men encourage each other to keep high standards and guard their marriages.

We also talk about some practical ways we protect our marriages in our our different work environments. Mark has always employed his children to do administrative work in the church, and he doesn't counsel women alone. Shawn manages a team that includes women. When he meets with them (both the men and the women), they meet in a room with a window. Micah's team often travels to offsite meetings, so they avoid driving alone with people of the opposite sex.

Our wives are a treasure. We want to honor them by guarding our marriages and maintaining trusting relationships with them.

We open the episode talking about Easter, Holy Week, and some of our church traditions. One of our favorite traditions is our Good Friday service. For the past few years, we have had seven men speak on the seven words of Jesus on the cross. Each man speaks for five minutes, sharing some insight on one of those statements. Each year this has been an encouraging service for our church body. You can listen to a service from last year on our church website.

Then we move on to our main topic for the week, practical tips for instilling masculinity in our boys and femininity in our girls. Current culture is attempting to blur the lines between what is masculine and feminine. In order to promote complementary Biblical roles of men and women, we need to be intentional about encouraging masculinity and femininity in our children.

One of the main ways we encourage masculinity in our boys is by modeling masculinity to them, while our wives model femininity to our daughters. Our roles and work in the home are different; masculine work is typically more physically demanding and feminine work tends to be more nurturing. That doesn't mean women can't work outside or that men can't cook a meal. But God specifically designed men to do jobs that require strength and risk, while he designed women with specific capability to care for and nurture people.

What about men that may not be physically able to do hard manual labor? How can we instill masculinity in other ways? In our church, we provide time for the men and women to have separate times of fellowship. We include our teen children in these events and encourage them to fellowship with men and women outside of their age group. We also discuss how we can include our children in work around the house (even when it makes the work take longer...). As they get older, let your boys hang out and work with other Godly men and your girls spend time with other Godly women.

We'd love to hear more from you about this topic! How do you promote masculinity in your boys and femininity in your girls?

Today we are talking about comforting people in their suffering. How can we come alongside Christians that are suffering, with compassion and hope? People suffer and respond to suffering differently. We need to look for ways to encourage fellow believers with truth and kindness, without trying to fix their circumstances.

We share a few stories of friends and church members that we have walked beside through suffering. Currently, one family in our church that is going through a significant trial. Their faith-filled suffering has been such a great encouragement to the church body. Every time they speak, the church is blessed by their honest words of faith in the midst of uncertainty.

We also talk about some ways that we can meet practical needs. Sometimes we just need to "be there" with people, and sometimes we need to cry with those that are hurting. We can provide meals or childcare to those might be overwhelmed with life.

In closing, we remind you also to "set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ." (1 Pet. 1:13)

What should we do when our family members have opposing views? One of our listeners suggested this topic, so today we talk about how we can be gracious & loving while confronting moral issues with these family members. Can we still have fellowship with family members that have different views than we do? We think you can.

Sometimes people confuse preferences and principles. We discuss some examples and talk about how we can have conversations about our preferences, while still being gracious.

The command to love takes precedence over being right about our issue. God commands us to love our enemies. While "enemy" may sound harsh, we often make enemies of people that oppose us, even people in our own family. 1 Corinthians 13 tells us that without love, we are a noisy gong or clanging cymbal.

Our first duty is to love and pray for these family members, in hopes that God, through the gospel, will change them.

Today we are talking about how to share the gospel with your children and how to recognize salvation in your children. It's important not to coerce our children into professing faith under pressure. How can we communicate the gospel to our children and offer salvation to them without creating false converts?

Many children raised in Christian homes may profess faith at young ages. Sometimes Sunday school teachers and youth group workers can put a lot of pressure on children to "make decisions for the Lord." What fruit should we be looking for to confirm true faith in young children? How can we tell the difference between repentance and sorrow over getting caught in sin?

What can we do to encourage our children toward salvation? We should require obedience. We should be speaking the gospel to our children every day. We should be encouraging our children to read the Bible for themselves, as well as reading scripture to them regularly. We should be praying for their salvation, both with them and in our private prayer times.

We also discuss when we should allow our children to be baptized. We encourage you to wait for your children to come and ask you to be baptized. This can be another confirmation of a true conversion.

This week, we're discussing Biblical hospitality. We read an article that claims the key to evangelism in the 21st century is hospitality. Do you agree? We talk about the importance of hospitality, examples of people that were changed by hospitality, and excuses we make for not inviting people into our lives and homes on a regular basis.

The gospel recounts many episodes of Jesus eating with people as he ministers to them. He ate with all types of people. Meals build a bridge between people that might not normally come together. In our experience, inviting people into our homes encourages people to open up and share more of themselves, just as they did with Jesus.

We encourage you to welcome all people into your home. Invite people that aren't like you. Not only will you bless others, but you will find yourself blessed with a broadened perspective on different cultures and worldview. Many international students have never been invited into an American home. There may be refugees in your area that would love to develop new friendships and practice their English. What about your local law enforcement officers or other community leaders? Think outside of your close friends, and invite someone that might be a challenge.

"Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling." (1 Pet. 4:8-9)

Today we are talking about fur babies vs. children, and why raising children is worth the effort. A growing number of young adults are opting to adopt pets in place of having children. Meanwhile, birth rates are dropping. We share a couple of funny, though slightly disturbing, stories about people that value animals too much.

We also discuss an article by John Stonestreet, Fur Babies: Pets, Children, and the Triumph of Autonomy, in which he writes:

"Another thirty-year-old, writing in Charlotte Magazine, wrote about how she went from wanting to be a stay-at-home mom to a pet parent. In her words, pets 'give us a greater purpose without making our lives mainly about theirs.'

While there is something “stunning” about such 'self-centered transparency,' as Mattes put it, we shouldn’t be surprised. It’s the logical outcome of the triumph of personal autonomy in the West. We exist for our own benefit and pleasure, as do our children and our pets."

While pets can bring comfort to people, they are not equal to people. Human beings alone are made in the image of God and have eternal souls that live forever. That is why we put the effort into raising children. Shawn finishes with a story about the eternal rewards of raising children for the glory of God, which stands in stark contrast to temporary worth of "raising fur babies."

Today we are talking about financial stewardship, a topic suggested by one of our listeners. He asked, "How should we as Christians handle money, and how should it look differently from how the world handles it?"

Shawn shares a few things has learned from reading The Treasure Principle: God owns everything, I'm his money manager; my heart always goes where I put God's money; and live with an eternal perspective. Then Micah talks shares how the principles from Financial Peace University has benefitted his marriage and helped him to develop a healthy perspective on managing family finances.

We talk about faithfulness in financial matters and how the way we manage our money displays the condition of our hearts. We also talk about some financial pitfalls and what we've learned from them.

In the end, finances are a theological issue. The Bible teaches us many lessons about managing money well. We need to be teaching our children to be wise with their money. We need teach them to give by being generous ourselves.

So what is the difference between believers and unbelievers in financial matters? Giving generously is a good thing, but many unbelievers also give generously. The difference is that Christians recognize that where our treasure is, there our hearts will be also. (Matt. 6:21) We know that God owns all that we have, and we ought to be ready, willing, and able to give when God calls us to give.