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Connecting Through Conflict
Episode 6: Connecting Through Conflict
Conflict can quickly shift a conversation from problem-solving to protecting positions. When that happens, it becomes easy to see the other person as the problem instead of staying focused on the issue you are trying to solve together.
In this episode, we focus on practical strategies school leaders can use to stay connected during conflict, communicate with clarity, and keep conversations productive—even when perspectives differ.
In this episode, you will learn:
- Why non-verbal communication often shapes a conversation before a word is spoken
- How physical positioning, eye contact, and environment can influence conflict
- Why conflict boundaries help keep conversations focused on the problem instead of the person
- How to avoid common traps like bringing in unrelated issues or taking conversational detours
- How to use the "Share Your Story, Ask for Theirs" strategy from Crucial Conversations to communicate your perspective while remaining curious about someone else's
- How to identify different logic styles and adjust your communication accordingly
- Why tempering your claims can reduce defensiveness and invite dialogue
- How to move conversations toward resolution with clear next steps and follow-up
Sentence stems to share your story and ask for theirs:
- When you said _____, I was telling myself a story that _____. Is that what you were thinking?
- When I saw _____, I was telling myself a story that _____. Can you walk me through what happened?
- When _____ happened, I was telling myself a story about your reasons. Can you help me understand?
Sentence stems during conflict:
- I am wondering...
- Could it be...
- Is that right?
- Help me understand...
- Moving forward...
- Nevertheless...
- And yet...
- Even so...
- All that being said...
Part of a 6-episode playbook for the toughest conversations school leaders face.
Resources:
https://www.connectingthroughconversation.com/resources
Learn more about our books:
https://www.connectingthroughconversation.com/our-book
View all episodes
By Erika Bare and Tiffany BurnsEpisode 6: Connecting Through Conflict
Conflict can quickly shift a conversation from problem-solving to protecting positions. When that happens, it becomes easy to see the other person as the problem instead of staying focused on the issue you are trying to solve together.
In this episode, we focus on practical strategies school leaders can use to stay connected during conflict, communicate with clarity, and keep conversations productive—even when perspectives differ.
In this episode, you will learn:
- Why non-verbal communication often shapes a conversation before a word is spoken
- How physical positioning, eye contact, and environment can influence conflict
- Why conflict boundaries help keep conversations focused on the problem instead of the person
- How to avoid common traps like bringing in unrelated issues or taking conversational detours
- How to use the "Share Your Story, Ask for Theirs" strategy from Crucial Conversations to communicate your perspective while remaining curious about someone else's
- How to identify different logic styles and adjust your communication accordingly
- Why tempering your claims can reduce defensiveness and invite dialogue
- How to move conversations toward resolution with clear next steps and follow-up
Sentence stems to share your story and ask for theirs:
- When you said _____, I was telling myself a story that _____. Is that what you were thinking?
- When I saw _____, I was telling myself a story that _____. Can you walk me through what happened?
- When _____ happened, I was telling myself a story about your reasons. Can you help me understand?
Sentence stems during conflict:
- I am wondering...
- Could it be...
- Is that right?
- Help me understand...
- Moving forward...
- Nevertheless...
- And yet...
- Even so...
- All that being said...
Part of a 6-episode playbook for the toughest conversations school leaders face.
Resources:
https://www.connectingthroughconversation.com/resources
Learn more about our books:
https://www.connectingthroughconversation.com/our-book