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In the North London derby it was Mustafi and Alexis,
Chelsea make West Brom pay and it'll be the last time Pulis collects his,
Pogba comes back and immediately connects with
Lukaku meanwhile De Bruyne is so good on his left, it's
almost as good as Salah who scored two and clicked ‘next'
while Moyes can't save West Ham – who amongst us would have guessed?

Then we turn attention to news on the continent,
Tevecchio resigns – he's probably incontinent,
Samp beat Juve with so much sauce they're like a condiment
and Roma beat Lazio as Di Francesco proves highly competent.

We'll finish off with Spain where Suarez gets his bite back,
and Mumu of the Week reveals which player needs a right smack.

Take off your jacket.

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It's the Coshcast! We know you have a choice so thank you for flying with us.

We start in the MLS playoffs as Toronto FC progress and Jozy Altidore is forced to take the Bulls by the horns.

Then it's the Premier League where United can't find the passing lane, decide to take route 1 and end up falling off the Bridge, at the Etihad Arsene finds that putting le Coq in the back doesn't stop the leaking, and Liverpool's smashing of West Ham proves too much for Gold & Sullivan who finally scratch that Bilic.

Elsewhere there's news from Serie A where a free kick from Benevento proves only a memento as they can't prevento Juvento from going ahead, so, Napoli's lead is cut to a point. And Spain where Barcelona win with two goals from Alcacer. It's true, I swear.

Get stuck in.

 

 

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Of all the unimportant things, football is the most important and so today amid all the actual important news, here's the Coshcast's for what we'll generously call an hour's mental relief.

We start with Toronto FC as they enter the playoffs, react to all the latest from the Premier League where the top six all won apart from Spurs who were doused by a local fire Martial. There's one for the kids.

Elsewhere we've got news from Italy where unsurprisingly, Higuain goes back for seconds, and Spain where a Catalan owner could say his Girona had the knack after an incredible win for the minnows against Real Madrid.

All this, Mumu of the Week, and more. Here we go.

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It's the Coshcast! You'd be a bit surprised if it wasn't, I suppose.

It's nearly Halloween and we start with Toronto FC who jack Atlanta's win and hit astronomical heights by stealing the Galaxy's points record.

Then we're off to the Premier League where Koeman gets the firing squad after literally facing Gunners, Spurs make minced meat out of Liverpool with Kobe in attendance, United shudder in Huddersfield and Bernardo Silva gets Sean Dyche talking about kicking children.

We'll check in on Italy where Inter really enter the title race and Spain where Valencia dispense of Sevilla.

Hit it.

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This week on the Coshcast, we're joined by a special guest.

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At home, Toronto FC lifted the Supporters' Shield over their heads just in the nick of time as rain and wind swept the city.

Speaking of City, in the Premier League Pep's lads smashed 7 past Stoke but the biggest disappointment was that the two managers shook hands leaving Mark Hughes nothing to complain about. Elsewhere, at Anfield Lukaku tried to do Liverpool fans a favour by injuring Dejan Lovren, Hodgson has his Zaha! moment and Troy Deeney describes Arsenal as having no cojones, although for Cleverly's goal a few of them did look like training cojones, so the jury is out on that.

Finally we'll smash through Europe like the Romans, who, conversely this week lost to Napoli, Dybala looks increasingly like a Grand and Toy order as he misses two pens in a row, and a bunch of stuff happens in Spain that doesn't involve police violence. Lovely.

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It's the Coshcast! Yes, like Liverpool's defensive issues, we're here every week.

We start in MLS where Justin Morrow's hat-trick came just in time to seal the Supporters' Shield for Toronto FC.

In the Premier League, City go to Stamford Bridge, put Chelsea neatly in De Bruyne paper bag and walk off home, United thrash Palace who now haven't scored since 1922, Spurs and Arsenal win about as comfortably as Jagmeet Singh and Rafa the gaffer shatter's Liverpool's hopes of a win at Newcastle.

Then, Italy where Napoli pull clear at the top of Serie A and Catalunya – just practising – where instead of shouts of referee, there are shouts of referendum and the world really may be ending, as Busquets scores a header.

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It's the Coshcast and this week we're chatting about what happened in New England as Toronto FC lost their second game in a row, and old England where Crystal Palace lost their sixth.

Elsewhere in the Premiership, Chelsea benefit from an Alvaro Morattrick, Spurs' new right back is forced to confront the Aurier of his ways as Tottenham beat West Ham and the use of defibrillators goes up by 50% on Merseyside as Liverpool pinball their way past Leicester.

We'll also bring you the latest from Europe as Sampdoria dampen the story for Milan, Ceballos pisses off Ronaldo by scoring both of Real Madrid's goals in their win over Alaves and in a rare move, we'll check in on Turkey, where Fenerbache and Besiktas appear to have gotten into what we'll call a bit of a squabble.

Let's bobble.

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https://s3.amazonaws.com/Coshcast/Season+5/Coshcast+Season+5+Ep+6_Manchester+clubs+rampant+and+Bundesliga+review.m4aIt's another cracker of a Coshcast.

We've got all the latest covered from the Premier League where Rooney gets 100 hours of community service – that's one for every yellow card he's ever received – Aguero where were Watford's until-now excellent defence as City romp past them, Chelsea hold Arsenal to a draw at Stamford Bridge and, like Wayne Rooney, Tottenham and Liverpool lose crucial points.

However, today we're also joined by special guest Joshua Kloke to go in depth on Toronto FC and review the latest from the Bundesliga – has Bayern's transition from Pep to Ancelotti, or highbrow to eyebrow, left them confused? Can Dortmund or Leipzig take advantage, and how will they all fare in the Champions League?

This, and all the usual other nonsense. Los gehts!

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It's the Coshcast flaring up once again like Mark Hughes' handshake issues.

We'll start locally where Jozy Altidore has Toronto FC heading for a record altitude as they leave San Jose quaking in their boots.

In the Premier League City smash Liverpool as the curse of Oxlade Chamberlain continues and Sadio Mane creates a profile on Faceboot so that he can send his thoughts and prayers to Ederson. Elsewhere, Arsenal take a bite of the sour cherries, Mourinho is the only person in the world pining for Fellaini and for Swansea, we Renato ways to say that Sanches had a bad game.

Like an English tourist we'll stumble bleary-eyed through Europe, while Mumu of the Week is here for your pleasure, as is special guest, Mike Beauvais.

Listen up.

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On this week's Coshcast:

Toronto FC punch the hole in Montreal's playoff aspiration bagel, Arsenal get slammed by Liverpool's press and then in the press and can't even release a press statement as they agree sell their media and communications department to Chelsea for 35m.

Chelsea meanwhile make everyone remember that Everton are not in fact going to win the league, Tottenham nearly win at Wembley but can't quite get out of the woods, and just like his father in law before him, Sergio Aguero has a bit of a Che Guevara moment.

Elsewhere we'll take a look at Italy where Roma sign Shick but it's Juventus that get quattro, and we'll try to make some sensio of Spain where Geoffrey looks like he might Kondogbia good signing for Valencia.

Off we pop.

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