Couples Therapy In Seven Words

How can a couple create and sustain joy across cultural differences and histories of childhood trauma? Our guests Nina Kako and Roger Guertin tell us how they did it and continue to do it. We found their energy delightfully contagious, and hope you do too!

Roger and Nina’s podcast is the “Head Over Heels Show” (https://headoverheelsshow.com/).

As we say in the episode, sign up for Dr. Chalmer's Newsletter! You can do it right from our homepage. And send us your questions and comments! Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button.

You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.

Dating can be hard—especially if you’ve had repeated experiences of finding the wrong person for the kind of relationship you want. Our guest in this episode, Charlene Byars, specializes in helping women who are looking for the right man—someone she describes as a “devoted, masculine man.” We ask her what she means by that, and how she goes about helping the women she works with as a coach.

Charlene’s website is https://www.charlenebyars.com/.

As we say in the episode, sign up for Dr. Chalmer's Newsletter! You can do it right from our homepage, https://ctin7.com. And send us your questions and comments! Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button.

You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.

How can a practice of mindfulness help couples when they’re dealing with sexual difficulties? And what’s the “vulnerability cycle”? We interview couples therapist Wendi Dumbroff about those topics and more.

Wendi’s website is https://wendidumbrofftherapy.com.

As we say in the episode, sign up for Dr. Chalmer's Newsletter! You can do it right from our homepage, https://ctin7.com. And send us your questions and comments! Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button.

You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.

Julia Postema and Jeremiah Gibson each grew up in the world of fundamentalist evangelical Christianity, and they each independently became sex therapists and left the fundamentalist culture. They specialize in helping couples with negative religious backgrounds discover sexuality that works for their partnership. We talk about their work, and pose a listener question right out of Bruce's latest book: how can the listener reconcile his lifelong attraction to men with his personal, marriage, and family ties to his evangelical church?

Their website is https://www.sexvangelicals.com.

As we say in the episode, sign up for Dr. Chalmer's Newsletter! You can do it right from our homepage, https://ctin7.com. When you sign up, you'll get access to the first volume of our Video Vignette series, in which you'll see Bruce and Judy enacting scenes featuring one of the couples from Bruce's book Reigniting the Spark.

Send us your questions and comments! Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button.

You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.

Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at https://ctin7.com.

Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort

How do couples have sex when one or both are disabled in some way, be it physically, mentally, or emotionally? How do couples who come from different cultural backgrounds manage to talk about their sex lives? What about differences in sexual desire? Our guest in this episode is Emerald Aueyong, a sex therapist in West Los Angeles who specializes in these issues.

As we say in the episode, sign up for Dr. Chalmer's Newsletter! You can do it right from our homepage, https://ctin7.com. When you sign up, you'll get access to the first volume of our Video Vignette series, in which you'll see Bruce and Judy enacting scenes featuring one of the couples from Bruce's book Reigniting the Spark.

Send us your questions and comments! Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button.

You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.

Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at https://ctin7.com.

Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort

For our 100th episode (yay!), we have an interview with Nicole Quallen, a collaborative divorce attorney in North Carolina. Nicole helps couples navigate their way through the rocky shoals of divorce with a collaborative, rather than adversarial approach. We talk about how that works (and when maybe it doesn’t), and how collaborative divorce can foster healing and cooperation.

Nicole’s website, which also includes information about her soon-to-be-launched podcast, is https://twofamilieslaw.com.

As we say in the episode, sign up for Dr. Chalmer's Newsletter! You can do it right from our homepage, https://ctin7.com. When you sign up, you'll get access to the first volume of our Video Vignette series, in which you'll see Bruce and Judy enacting scenes featuring one of the couples from Bruce's book Reigniting the Spark.

Send us your questions and comments! Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button.

You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.

Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at https://ctin7.com.

Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort

We’re coming up on three years of doing this podcast! We take a January look backwards and forwards. While we’re at it, we review the seven-word formula that gives the podcast its name.

As we say in the episode, sign up for Dr. Chalmer's Newsletter! You can do it right from our homepage, https://ctin7.com. When you sign up, you'll get access to the first volume of our Video Vignette series, in which you'll see Bruce and Judy enacting scenes featuring one of the couples from Bruce's book Reigniting the Spark.

Send us your questions and comments! Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button.

You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.

Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at https://ctin7.com.

Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort

What are some of the warning signs that you should be alert to in a relationship? And what can you do about them if you see them? We talk about some of the red flags that you should watch out for.

As we say in the episode, there's a Call To Action today: Sign up for Dr. Chalmer's Newsletter! You can do it right from our homepage, https://ctin7.com. When you sign up, you'll get access to the first volume of our Video Vignette series, in which you'll see Bruce and Judy enacting scenes featuring one of the couples from Bruce's book Reigniting the Spark.

Send us your questions and comments! Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button. While you're there, sign up for Dr. Chalmer's mailing list!

You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.

Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at https://ctin7.com.

Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort

Addiction and substance issues come up in couples therapy a lot, even for those of us who aren’t substance abuse counselors. In this episode we talk about how substance issues can affect couples, and handle a question from a woman, herself in recovery, who is worried her husband has relapsed and is angrily denying it.

Send us your questions and comments! Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button. While you're there, sign up for Dr. Chalmer's mailing list!

You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.

Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at https://ctin7.com.

Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort

For a lot of people, Christmas is not “the most wonderful time of the year.” If you’ve lost a loved one, or are estranged from some of your family, Christmas can present a painful dilemma: Should you put yourself through family gatherings when they’re likely to be painful? How do you decide?

Then we handle a listener question from Lexi, who lost her brother to a drug overdose and is trying to decide whether to go to her in-laws for a family gathering, even though she had heard them make disparaging comments about her brother at his wake.

We'd like to hear from you about your experiences that might be similar to Lexi's. Have you lost someone just before Christmas? Or have you been hurt by a family member to the extent that you're not sure if you can be at a gathering with them unless you work it out first? Let us know. Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button, and tell us your story. We might want to interview you for a future episode.

You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.

Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at https://ctin7.com.

Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort