Couples Therapy In Seven Words

Welcome to Short Takes! In this series Bruce and Judy talk about some of their (well, mostly Bruce’s) favorite topics in bite-size morsels.

Today’s topic:

The Dread Disease, “Hardening of the Categories”

Please subscribe and review us!

Visit our podcast website, ctin7.com, for more about our podcast, access to past episodes, and links to contact us to make suggestions and sign up for a time to be a guest on our show.

Visit Dr. Chalmer’s website, brucechalmer.com, for information on his practice, to find his books, and to sign up for his Substack newsletter.

Visit Laria Zylber’s website, lariazylber.com, for information on her book The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible. (Laria is Judy’s pseudonym, and as you’ll see in the videos on her website, she looks just like Judy, except she has blue hair!)

***

RESOURCES FROM DR. BRUCE CHALMER:

If your relationship is facing a passionless phase, deep resentment, or an active crisis, find clarity with these private, self-paced tools and video roadmaps.

Feeling like roommates? Pinpoint if you are facing an intimacy deficit or stability crisis with this free 2-page guide.

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/clarity-check-request/

💔 Rebuilding Trust After Cheating (Betrayal & Forgiveness):

If your marriage suffered a sudden fracture from infidelity, emotional affairs, or broken secrets, watch the free overview video lesson here:

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/

🤔 Should I Stay or Leave? (Relationship Discernment):

Stuck in relationship limbo, facing marriage deal-breakers, or trying to decide if it's healthy to work on it or call it quits? Explore this clinical framework:

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/discernment/

🔥 How to Fix a Sexless Marriage (The Passion Paradox, Reigniting the Spark):

If you love each other but the emotional warmth and physical desire have faded, learn how to break the "death spiral for passion" here:

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/the-passion-paradox-course/

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/reigniting-the-spark/

Connect with relationship psychologist Dr. Bruce Chalmer online to read free guides, stream podcast episodes, or inquire about direct couples consultations at https://brucechalmer.com.

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/rabbi-shlomo-slatkin/.

Can a couple who have fallen out of love regain their passion for each other? What is Imago Relationship Therapy, and how can it help? Our guest in this episode, Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, is the founder of the Marriage Restoration Project, which offers intensive retreats, group workshops, and online courses.

Rabbi Slatkin’s website is https://www.themarriagerestorationproject.com/.

Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.

Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79

***

RESOURCES FROM DR. BRUCE CHALMER:

If your relationship is facing a passionless phase, deep resentment, or an active crisis, find clarity with these private, self-paced tools and video roadmaps.

Feeling like roommates? Pinpoint if you are facing an intimacy deficit or stability crisis with this free 2-page guide.

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/clarity-check-request/

💔 Rebuilding Trust After Cheating (Betrayal & Forgiveness):

If your marriage suffered a sudden fracture from infidelity, emotional affairs, or broken secrets, watch the free overview video lesson here:

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/

🤔 Should I Stay or Leave? (Relationship Discernment):

Stuck in relationship limbo, facing marriage deal-breakers, or trying to decide if it's healthy to work on it or call it quits? Explore this clinical framework:

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/discernment/

🔥 How to Fix a Sexless Marriage (The Passion Paradox, Reigniting the Spark):

If you love each other but the emotional warmth and physical desire have faded, learn how to break the "death spiral for passion" here:

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/the-passion-paradox-course/

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/reigniting-the-spark/

Connect with relationship psychologist Dr. Bruce Chalmer online to read free guides, stream podcast episodes, or inquire about direct couples consultations at https://brucechalmer.com.

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/found-out-my-father-had-been-cheating/.

What would you do if you found out at your father’s funeral that he had been having affairs? Your father, whom you had loved, honored, and trusted? Recently I’ve talked with several people in similar situations. Judy and I talk about how they might work on healing from that kind of betrayal.

We also talk about a dilemma a woman wrote to the NY Times Ethicist column about: Should she reveal to her adopted cousin that she (the cousin) was the product of an incestuous relationship? The article we refer to in this episode is at https://www.nytimes.com/2025/03/14/magazine/adoption-incest-secret-ethics.html.

Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.

Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review.

***

RESOURCES FROM DR. BRUCE CHALMER:

If your relationship is facing a passionless phase, deep resentment, or an active crisis, find clarity with these private, self-paced tools and video roadmaps.

Feeling like roommates? Pinpoint if you are facing an intimacy deficit or stability crisis with this free 2-page guide.

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/clarity-check-request/

💔 Rebuilding Trust After Cheating (Betrayal & Forgiveness):

If your marriage suffered a sudden fracture from infidelity, emotional affairs, or broken secrets, watch the free overview video lesson here:

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/

🤔 Should I Stay or Leave? (Relationship Discernment):

Stuck in relationship limbo, facing marriage deal-breakers, or trying to decide if it's healthy to work on it or call it quits? Explore this clinical framework:

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/discernment/

🔥 How to Fix a Sexless Marriage (The Passion Paradox, Reigniting the Spark):

If you love each other but the emotional warmth and physical desire have faded, learn how to break the "death spiral for passion" here:

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/the-passion-paradox-course/

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/reigniting-the-spark/

Connect with relationship psychologist Dr. Bruce Chalmer online to read free guides, stream podcast episodes, or inquire about direct couples consultations at https://brucechalmer.com.

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/craig-mattson/.

Do you ever find yourself drowning in digital stimulation and demand? How does digital overwhelm in work life relate to life as a couple? Our guest in this episode is Craig Mattson, a professor of communication who has studied the disconnection and intensity many workers feel in their work lives. And as a person of faith, Craig has invoked teachings from biblical texts as relevant to these very modern issues, in ways that we (Bruce and Judy) find fascinating. Let us know what you think!

Craig’s website is https://www.themodeswitch.com/.

Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.

Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79

***

RESOURCES FROM DR. BRUCE CHALMER:

If your relationship is facing a passionless phase, deep resentment, or an active crisis, find clarity with these private, self-paced tools and video roadmaps.

Feeling like roommates? Pinpoint if you are facing an intimacy deficit or stability crisis with this free 2-page guide.

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/clarity-check-request/

💔 Rebuilding Trust After Cheating (Betrayal & Forgiveness):

If your marriage suffered a sudden fracture from infidelity, emotional affairs, or broken secrets, watch the free overview video lesson here:

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/

🤔 Should I Stay or Leave? (Relationship Discernment):

Stuck in relationship limbo, facing marriage deal-breakers, or trying to decide if it's healthy to work on it or call it quits? Explore this clinical framework:

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/discernment/

🔥 How to Fix a Sexless Marriage (The Passion Paradox, Reigniting the Spark):

If you love each other but the emotional warmth and physical desire have faded, learn how to break the "death spiral for passion" here:

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/the-passion-paradox-course/

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/reigniting-the-spark/

Connect with relationship psychologist Dr. Bruce Chalmer online to read free guides, stream podcast episodes, or inquire about direct couples consultations at https://brucechalmer.com.

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/leah-spasova/.

Our guest in this episode, Leah Spasova, is the CEO of LifeSexperts, which offers coaching and training to individuals, couples, and organizations about healthy relationships. We talk with her about her multi-layered approach to helping couples with sex and relationship issues.

Leah’s website is https://www.lifesexperts.com/.

Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.

Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79

***

RESOURCES FROM DR. BRUCE CHALMER:

If your relationship is facing a passionless phase, deep resentment, or an active crisis, find clarity with these private, self-paced tools and video roadmaps.

Feeling like roommates? Pinpoint if you are facing an intimacy deficit or stability crisis with this free 2-page guide.

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/clarity-check-request/

💔 Rebuilding Trust After Cheating (Betrayal & Forgiveness):

If your marriage suffered a sudden fracture from infidelity, emotional affairs, or broken secrets, watch the free overview video lesson here:

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/

🤔 Should I Stay or Leave? (Relationship Discernment):

Stuck in relationship limbo, facing marriage deal-breakers, or trying to decide if it's healthy to work on it or call it quits? Explore this clinical framework:

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/discernment/

🔥 How to Fix a Sexless Marriage (The Passion Paradox, Reigniting the Spark):

If you love each other but the emotional warmth and physical desire have faded, learn how to break the "death spiral for passion" here:

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/the-passion-paradox-course/

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/reigniting-the-spark/

Connect with relationship psychologist Dr. Bruce Chalmer online to read free guides, stream podcast episodes, or inquire about direct couples consultations at https://brucechalmer.com.

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/wilk-wilkinson/.

We’ve had many wonderful guests, and like parents with their children, I don’t want to compare them. But I do think this is one of our most important episodes.

Our guest, Wilk Wilkinson, is a Christian conservative who has taken on the mission of helping this country heal from what he terms toxic polarity. Through his own “Derate the Hate” podcast, as well as his work as a volunteer with Braver Angels and the Prohuman Foundation, Wilk fosters respectful conversation among people across the political spectrum.

Wilk’s website is https://deratethehate.com/

Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.

Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79

***

RESOURCES FROM DR. BRUCE CHALMER:

If your relationship is facing a passionless phase, deep resentment, or an active crisis, find clarity with these private, self-paced tools and video roadmaps.

Feeling like roommates? Pinpoint if you are facing an intimacy deficit or stability crisis with this free 2-page guide.

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/clarity-check-request/

💔 Rebuilding Trust After Cheating (Betrayal & Forgiveness):

If your marriage suffered a sudden fracture from infidelity, emotional affairs, or broken secrets, watch the free overview video lesson here:

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/

🤔 Should I Stay or Leave? (Relationship Discernment):

Stuck in relationship limbo, facing marriage deal-breakers, or trying to decide if it's healthy to work on it or call it quits? Explore this clinical framework:

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/discernment/

🔥 How to Fix a Sexless Marriage (The Passion Paradox, Reigniting the Spark):

If you love each other but the emotional warmth and physical desire have faded, learn how to break the "death spiral for passion" here:

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/the-passion-paradox-course/

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/reigniting-the-spark/

Connect with relationship psychologist Dr. Bruce Chalmer online to read free guides, stream podcast episodes, or inquire about direct couples consultations at https://brucechalmer.com.

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/rachel-macneill/.

Are you in a sexless marriage? Our guest in this episode, Dr. Rachel MacNeill, is a pelvic floor physical therapist who specializes in helping people with intimacy issues. She also helps people with urinary incontinence (did you know that Kegels are usually not the answer? I didn’t!).

Among the sexual issues we talk about are the myth (often) of low libido in women, dyspareunia and how to treat it, what queer relationships can teach straight couples, and more.

Rachel’s website is https://www.rachelmacneillintimacycoaching.com/. Rachel is offering a one-time 20% discount for an appointment with her (intake or follow-up) to our listeners--use the discount code SEVENWORDS. She also offers a 7-day Pleasure Challenge at this link.

Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.

Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79

***

RESOURCES FROM DR. BRUCE CHALMER:

If your relationship is facing a passionless phase, deep resentment, or an active crisis, find clarity with these private, self-paced tools and video roadmaps.

Feeling like roommates? Pinpoint if you are facing an intimacy deficit or stability crisis with this free 2-page guide.

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/clarity-check-request/

💔 Rebuilding Trust After Cheating (Betrayal & Forgiveness):

If your marriage suffered a sudden fracture from infidelity, emotional affairs, or broken secrets, watch the free overview video lesson here:

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/

🤔 Should I Stay or Leave? (Relationship Discernment):

Stuck in relationship limbo, facing marriage deal-breakers, or trying to decide if it's healthy to work on it or call it quits? Explore this clinical framework:

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/discernment/

🔥 How to Fix a Sexless Marriage (The Passion Paradox, Reigniting the Spark):

If you love each other but the emotional warmth and physical desire have faded, learn how to break the "death spiral for passion" here:

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/the-passion-paradox-course/

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/reigniting-the-spark/

Connect with relationship psychologist Dr. Bruce Chalmer online to read free guides, stream podcast episodes, or inquire about direct couples consultations at https://brucechalmer.com.

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/kristen-williamson/.

What is it like to be “neurospicy”? How does neurodivergence affect relationships? Our guest in this episode is Kristen Williamson, the self-proclaimed “queen of chaos.” Judy and I had a delightful time with Kristen—she exudes a contagious joy, and I hope you’ll catch it too by tuning into this episode.

Kristen’s website is https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristensmith0045/. On Instagram, she’s at https://www.instagram.com/empowermindsolutionsllc/.

Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.

Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79

***

RESOURCES FROM DR. BRUCE CHALMER:

If your relationship is facing a passionless phase, deep resentment, or an active crisis, find clarity with these private, self-paced tools and video roadmaps.

Feeling like roommates? Pinpoint if you are facing an intimacy deficit or stability crisis with this free 2-page guide.

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/clarity-check-request/

💔 Rebuilding Trust After Cheating (Betrayal & Forgiveness):

If your marriage suffered a sudden fracture from infidelity, emotional affairs, or broken secrets, watch the free overview video lesson here:

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/

🤔 Should I Stay or Leave? (Relationship Discernment):

Stuck in relationship limbo, facing marriage deal-breakers, or trying to decide if it's healthy to work on it or call it quits? Explore this clinical framework:

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/discernment/

🔥 How to Fix a Sexless Marriage (The Passion Paradox, Reigniting the Spark):

If you love each other but the emotional warmth and physical desire have faded, learn how to break the "death spiral for passion" here:

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/the-passion-paradox-course/

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/reigniting-the-spark/

Connect with relationship psychologist Dr. Bruce Chalmer online to read free guides, stream podcast episodes, or inquire about direct couples consultations at https://brucechalmer.com.

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/becky-whetstone/.

When one partner in a relationship tells the other, “I think I want out,” their relationship will never be the same. They might break up, or they might stay together, but either way they’ll have a new relationship. Our guest in this episode, Dr. Becky Whetstone, works with couples dealing with that relationship crisis. She’s been through it herself, and she’s done research, and based on that experience and learning she helps couples turn their crises into opportunities for growth.

Becky’s recent book is I Think I Want Out: What to Do When One of You Wants to End Your Marriage. Her website is https://marriagecrisismanager.com/.

Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.

Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79

***

RESOURCES FROM DR. BRUCE CHALMER:

If your relationship is facing a passionless phase, deep resentment, or an active crisis, find clarity with these private, self-paced tools and video roadmaps.

Feeling like roommates? Pinpoint if you are facing an intimacy deficit or stability crisis with this free 2-page guide.

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/clarity-check-request/

💔 Rebuilding Trust After Cheating (Betrayal & Forgiveness):

If your marriage suffered a sudden fracture from infidelity, emotional affairs, or broken secrets, watch the free overview video lesson here:

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/

🤔 Should I Stay or Leave? (Relationship Discernment):

Stuck in relationship limbo, facing marriage deal-breakers, or trying to decide if it's healthy to work on it or call it quits? Explore this clinical framework:

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/discernment/

🔥 How to Fix a Sexless Marriage (The Passion Paradox, Reigniting the Spark):

If you love each other but the emotional warmth and physical desire have faded, learn how to break the "death spiral for passion" here:

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/the-passion-paradox-course/

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/reigniting-the-spark/

Connect with relationship psychologist Dr. Bruce Chalmer online to read free guides, stream podcast episodes, or inquire about direct couples consultations at https://brucechalmer.com.

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/daniel-cohen/.

Our guest in this episode is Rabbi Daniel Cohen. Rabbi Cohen has written about how you can “reverse-engineer” your life, so you can live now in ways that will help shape the kind of legacy you want to leave at the end of your life. We talk with Rabbi Cohen about how we can learn to recognize and cultivate “Elijah moments,” and how that skill can benefit couple relationships.

Rabbi Cohen’s website is https://www.rabbidanielcohen.com/.

Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.

Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79

***

RESOURCES FROM DR. BRUCE CHALMER:

If your relationship is facing a passionless phase, deep resentment, or an active crisis, find clarity with these private, self-paced tools and video roadmaps.

Feeling like roommates? Pinpoint if you are facing an intimacy deficit or stability crisis with this free 2-page guide.

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/clarity-check-request/

💔 Rebuilding Trust After Cheating (Betrayal & Forgiveness):

If your marriage suffered a sudden fracture from infidelity, emotional affairs, or broken secrets, watch the free overview video lesson here:

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/

🤔 Should I Stay or Leave? (Relationship Discernment):

Stuck in relationship limbo, facing marriage deal-breakers, or trying to decide if it's healthy to work on it or call it quits? Explore this clinical framework:

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/discernment/

🔥 How to Fix a Sexless Marriage (The Passion Paradox, Reigniting the Spark):

If you love each other but the emotional warmth and physical desire have faded, learn how to break the "death spiral for passion" here:

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/the-passion-paradox-course/

👉 https://brucechalmer.com/reigniting-the-spark/

Connect with relationship psychologist Dr. Bruce Chalmer online to read free guides, stream podcast episodes, or inquire about direct couples consultations at https://brucechalmer.com.