Modern relationships can be a confusing place for men! In this episode with Matt, we get into the the importance of men being able to hold their partner’s emotionality; how to not shut down when your partner gets emotional; the importance of working fully through arguments and leaving nothing under the rug and how to listen in a way that has the other person feel truly heard

Matt is a relationship expert and men’s group leader. After spending years invested in a fantasy of what a relationship should be - easy, comfortable and sexy all the time, right? - and a reality that was quite the opposite, he got serious training and experience in how to really listen, feel, how to deal with conflict, and how to understand what’s actually happening in relationships.

He helps men wake up to better relationships every day, through coaching and his men’s group AWAKE.

He’s appeared on various podcasts and his writing has been published on Elephant Journal, The Men’s List and The Good Men Project.

He's also a parent of two teenagers, and is in the best relationship of his life!

Get in touch with Matt here: 

http://www.mattcoach.com/easy

https://www.facebook.com/matt.hilliar...

https://www.instagram.com/relationshi...

Download Couply: The App for Couples: https://couply.page.link/podcast

0:00:00 - Introductions 

02:27 - How did Matt get into the relationship space?

09:26 - Why it’s shameful to say your relationship isn’t okay

11:17 - The fantasy of “The One” and “Happily Ever After” 

12:16 - Disassemble the Myth that it’s supposed to be easy

14:13 - What are some things we can do to stop our relationships from failing?

18:00 - What are examples of “Leaning In” to the relationship? 

22:00 - Listening is a gift. 

24:30 - How can I communicate like this when it doesn’t feel authentic?

27:20 - How can moving through a conflict help couples?

34:21 - How men can move through their emotions

36:55 - What does “Holding Emotional Space” mean? 

38:45 - How a man's most powerful skillset can actually play against him.

41:20 - How emotional presence can make you a better father.

43:20 - Matt’s experience with emotions.

47:20 - The emotional power of connection.

52:00 - How emotional connection equals better sex.

54:20 - Holding space is very sexy.

55:00 - The benefits of being emotionally powerful.

56:00 - Learn more about Matt.

Zara Arshad is an author, couples therapist and perinatal mental health expert with a thriving therapy practice in Ottawa, Canada.

She is the author of: Stronger Together: A Couple’s Guide to Navigating Your Relationship After Baby.

Couples relationships are often tested with the arrival of children. In this episode, Zara and Tim breakdown what new parents can expect and how previously dormant attachment styles in the relationship may erupt. Zara and Tim also discuss how our values impact our parenting styles in ways that our partner might not expect!

Expect to learn: relationship advice for new parents; how couples can to navigate the postpartum world; important conversations to have with your partner prior to having a baby; the conversations to regularly have after a baby and so much more...

Show Notes:

Check out Zara’s website - https://myottawatherapist.com/about-me/

Check out Zara’s book: https://myottawatherapist.com/stronge...

Check out Zara’s workshop: https://myottawatherapist.com/workshop/

Download Couply: The App for Couples: https://couply.page.link/podcast

0:00 Introductions

0:04:10 Zara's experience with her first baby.

0:09:05 Zara's pandemic experience with her second baby.

0:13:05 Zara dealing with her own relationship struggles post-baby.

0:19:00 How attachment styles showing up after couples have kids.

0:33:30 Can a baby fix a relationship?

0:35:34 How does resentment show up in relationships?

0:47:10 How values show up in relationships.

0:55:10 Zara shares beautiful moments from having kids in her relationship.

1:00:30 Zara's workshops, resources and how to reach her.