Cowboys not Eggheads

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In observance of September 11, Cowboys Not Eggheads revisits Fred Rogers’ enduring advice during times of tragedy: “Look for the helpers.”

Sam Fischer is joined by three remarkable helpers—Bri Siegert, Jillian Watts and Brandi (Muhle) Preston—for a deeply personal conversation about service, sacrifice and the lasting impact one person can have on others.

They remember where they were on September 11, 2001, and explore what it truly means to help: why some people feel called to serve, how helping can change lives and what happens when the helpers themselves need help. The conversation also touches on vulnerability, addiction and recovery, cancer advocacy, motherhood, fitness, mental health and the legacies we hope to leave behind.

This is more than a 9/11 remembrance. It is a reminder that ordinary people can become extraordinary forces for good—and that one act of kindness can create a ripple effect far beyond anything we ever see.

When the world feels darkest, look for the helpers. Better yet, become one.

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Killer Kane — Chapter 12: Respect and Curiosity

Forty years later, Sam Fischer is left with two feelings about Coach Jim “Killer” Kane: respect and curiosity.

In the final chapter of Killer Kane, Sam looks back at the coach who demanded discipline, toughness and loyalty—and at the questions Kane never answered. Why did he rely so heavily on his starting eleven? Where did Sam actually rank? And did Kane ever believe the kid sitting on his bench could have helped his team?

Sam no longer needs Kane to tell him he should have been a star. What he wanted was something simpler: to know that he was useful. That he belonged. That he could have contributed.

Instead, like many of Kane’s players, he was left to piece together the coach’s opinion from fragments, rumors, rare moments of approval and, eventually, one unforgettable assessment: “The kid couldn’t play, but he had a set of balls on him.”

Sam can now respect Kane without making him a saint, question him without making him a villain, and acknowledge Kane’s influence without giving the coach ownership of the man Sam became.

And maybe someday, Sam will finally get to ask him: “Coach, where did you rank me?”

Until then, he has the ending that actually happened.

Kane finally called his name. Sam entered the game and made a play.

He earned the Trident.

Chapter 12 concludes Killer Kane, the 12-part Cowboys Not Eggheads audio memoir about Sam’s 1985 senior football season at Mount Michael and the coach whose influence stayed with him for the next 40 years.

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Chapter 11: The Trident

What does it mean to finish something difficult when nobody hands you a trophy for it?

In Chapter 11 of Killer Kane, Sam Fischer connects his eleven years of CrossFit training with the lessons that survived three football seasons under Coach Jim “Killer” Kane at Mount Michael.

The connection isn’t about hearing Kane’s voice in the gym or pretending high school football was something greater than it was. It’s about a standard: choose difficult things, endure discomfort, and don’t quit simply because quitting has become easier.

That idea leads to something Sam calls The Trident — his personal symbol for completing three seasons in Kane’s football program. He wasn’t a star. He didn’t get the playing time or affirmation he wanted. But he stayed.

He endured.

He finished.

And that accomplishment belonged to him regardless of where Kane placed him on the depth chart.

Forty years later, that may be one of the most important things Kane ever taught him.

The Trident is mine. No one can ever take it away.

Killer Kane is a special 12-part Cowboys Not Eggheads audio memoir about Sam Fischer’s 1985 senior football season at Mount Michael and the coach whose influence remained with him for the next four decades.

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Killer Kane Audio Memoir — Chapter 10: Don’t Be a Victim

For years, I carried the easiest version of the story: Jim “Killer” Kane told me he would find me a place to play, he didn’t, and I was the one who suffered the consequences.

Then, nearly forty years later, I stood at his grave intending to curse him out.

Instead, I apologized.

In Chapter 10 of the Killer Kane Audio Memoir, I return to the May 2022 visit to Kane’s grave that forced me to confront an uncomfortable truth. Kane may have failed me as a coach in 1985. But after I became discouraged, I also stopped doing everything I could to force him to reconsider.

That distinction matters.

Kane owned his decision. I owned my response.

This chapter isn’t about pretending unfairness doesn’t exist or turning Kane into the hero of every story. It’s about recognizing that another person’s mistake doesn’t relieve us of responsibility for what we do next.

The Trident still means I endured. It doesn’t mean I was flawless.

Sometimes the most important part of looking back isn’t deciding who was right. It’s having the courage to admit where you were wrong.

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Chapter 9: Seeking Affirmation From That Guy

Decades after their final football season, Sam Fischer and Tom Lewis sit down to talk about Jim “Killer” Kane—and discover they may still be trying to prove something to him.

Neither was a star. Neither played much. Yet Tom’s ultramarathons, Sam’s CrossFit, and their willingness to keep choosing difficult things raise an uncomfortable question: Are they still seeking affirmation from that guy?

After the conversation is released, former Mount Michael players begin reaching out with stories of their own, revealing just how many men continued carrying Kane’s standards—and his silence—long after they left his field.

Maybe Kane never found a place for them to play back then. But perhaps the story wasn’t finished yet.

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Chapter 8: The Man Who Never Faded

The final game ends, but Jim “Killer” Kane never really goes away.

Years pass. Kane’s coaching career comes to an end, his health declines, and his place in Nebraska sports history becomes secure. But for the players who lived under his demanding standards, the real legacy is far more personal. His voice, his expectations—and even his disapproval—remain with them decades later.

In Chapter 8, the story moves beyond what Kane did on the field to the question that matters more: What does a coach leave behind in the men he helped shape?

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Chapter 7: The Final Three Plays

With the 1985 season nearly over, Sam Fischer finally gets one last chance against Elkhorn. Three plays. A tackle for loss. His name over the stadium speakers. And a few words from a teammate that mean more than anyone could have known.

After a season spent waiting, quitting inside, and going through the motions, Sam’s high school football career comes down to a handful of snaps—and a moment he would still be thinking about nearly forty years later.

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Killer Kane, Chapter Six: Going Through the Motions

In Chapter Six of Killer Kane, a twelve-part audio memoir from Cowboys Not Eggheads, Sam Fischer returns to the field after the disappointment at Bennington—but something has changed.

He doesn’t quit. He still practices, still prepares, and still does what is asked of him. But at seventeen, convinced his opportunity has passed, Sam stops reaching for anything more. He begins simply going through the motions.

There are still chances. A late appearance against Auburn. A rough JV game against Gretna filled with holding penalties, a brief benching, and one simple instruction from Kane: “Keep your hands inside, Sam.” Slowly, almost unnoticed, Sam begins playing better.

But the season is running out. And with Elkhorn approaching, the question is no longer whether Sam is capable of playing. It’s whether there will be enough time left for anyone—including Kane—to find out.

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Chapter 5: Halftime 

After a summer of hard work and Coach Jim Kane’s promise that he would “find a place” for him to play, Sam enters his senior season believing he has finally earned an opportunity. But during the opening game against Bennington, he remains on the sideline while the first half passes without his name being called.

At halftime, something inside him changes. Feeling overlooked and betrayed, Sam makes a quiet decision to stop caring. He continues attending practices and finishes the season, but emotionally, he has already walked away.

Decades later, that moment remains difficult to confront—not only because of what Kane did, but because of how Sam responded. Halftime is the turning point of the story: the moment disappointment becomes defiance, and defiance slowly becomes surrender.

Former Kane players: If you remember these events differently, disagree with Sam’s conclusions, or have your own story about Coach Kane, you are invited to join the conversation.

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Chapter Four: We’ll Find You a Place

By the summer before his senior year, Sam Fischer is no longer trying merely to survive Jim “Killer” Kane’s football program. After long days working in the hayfield and months of strength training alongside his younger brother, Will, he returns to Mount Michael heavier, stronger and convinced that he is finally ready to contribute.

Moved from tight end to offensive guard, Sam attacks the opening practices determined to make himself impossible to ignore. After failing on his first attempt against the team’s largest lineman, Eric Swanson, he immediately resets and delivers the collision the drill demands. Assistant coach George Roshone notices. Soon, Kane does too.

During another practice, Sam drives a defender several yards backward on a double-team block. Kane responds with the words Sam has waited years to hear:

“If you keep that up, we’ll find a place for you to play.”

It is not a guarantee of a starting position. It is something more important: recognition from the man whose judgment matters most. Later that day, Kane calls Sam over to work briefly with the first-string offense.

In Chapter Four of Killer Kane, years of waiting appear to be leading somewhere. Sam enters his final season believing he has earned an open door—and trusting that when the games begin, Kane will call his name.

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