Crazy Together

Tuesday November 3, 2026, is election day, so get out there and vote like your life depended on it!

Speaking of voting, Marcus shares a story about a time he witnessed a row full of nuns cast one vote each for the 1987 MLB All Star Game. Who did the nuns vote for, and why did they vote for just that one player? It’s a mystery.

Marcus also shares an update on the fight to keep the Academy of Natural Sciences open (and to protect other cultural institutions from the whims of greedy custodians).

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In a recent Hyperfocus Bonus (episode 139: Can’t Get Enough of Your Emotional Cues, Babe), Esme shared a surprising discovery she made after noticing some fine lines on her forehead (which, it is critical to note, are totally normal and not that noticeable . . . and even if they were it doesn’t matter because Marcus loves Esme’s expressive face and wouldn’t wish it otherwise). She had learned that Botox injections, which temporarily paralyze some facial muscles, have been reported to impact people’s ability to pick up on other’s emotional cues and empathize with them. She wanted to know what the connection was between peoples’ facial muscles and their abilities to process emotions. Moreover, she wondered if neurodivergent people, who sometimes struggle picking up on other peoples’ facial cues as it is, had even more difficulty reading the cues of people who recently received Botox. She was intrigued by these questions, and vowed to research them further and perhaps, one day, make her research the focus of a podcast episode. 

And then she started getting a lot of homework assignments and was like, nuts to that.

So Marcus picked up the bit. And in true Marcus fashion he promptly fell down multiple rabbit holes. 

Turns out, facial muscles play a huge role in helping us recognize other peoples’ emotions. But more than that, they might also help generate, maintain, and shape our emotional experiences. In other words, we don’t feel an emotional response to something and then our facial muscles react to that emotion. Instead, our facial muscles (and other parts of the body) have a physical response to some stimuli, which then triggers an emotional response. 

It’s all very fascinating. So be sure to join Marcus as he shares his findings with Esme, because it is a fast, action-packed episode with some very interesting implications for neurodivergent people and our ability to interact with and understand others. 

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Esme has an opportunity to weigh in on the Academy of Natural Sciences debacle and share some of her favorite memories from her many visits to the museum over the years. In particular, she fondly recalls at least one sleepover she attended at the Academy when she was a kid. She also confirms that the taxidermied specimen that watched her as she slept was most likely a zebra. Esme then shares some updates on her social life. The good news is, she has one! Tales of dinner with friends and socializing with the parents of her daughters’ friends abound!

Marcus provides color commentary as necessary (and, on occasion, when unnecessary). He also describes a skeleton display he has mounted in the front yard as part of the family’s Halloween decorations, and explains how one skeleton in particular seems perhaps a little too enthusiastic for the holiday season. Them bones, indeed.

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Philadelphia’s Academy of Natural Sciences museum recently announced that after nearly 200 years of continuous operation, it was going to close its doors forever. Or rather, Drexel University, who assumed management responsibilities for the museum back in 2011, announced it would be closing the museum because, well, it just seems like nobody wants to go there anymore. 

This was very sad news in the O’Kayvious household. Both Marcus and Esme have fond memories of visiting the museum on field trips when they were kids. Esme also had the pleasure of staying in the museum overnight with her girl scout troop. It was a popular package the museum offered for many years that was both fun (there were plenty of activities and games) and vaguely disquieting (the taxidermied specimens watched you as you slept with their cold, black eyes). Marcus and Esme’s daughter is also a fan of the museum, having visited it at least once every year since she was 4 (not counting the COVID years). 

However, as the days and weeks passed, their sadness turned to confusion as details began to leak out from former employees and volunteers. Could it be that management decisions, may have contributed to the museum's financial difficulties? Their confusion then turned to frustration and bewilderment as community leaders and activists began to speculate that Drexel might be motivated by other factors, such how much money they might make by selling such a valuable piece of real estate. 

Eventually, the Okayvious clan just became downright angry. But at who? And for what reason specifically? It was hard to pin down. But they couldn’t shake the feeling that someone or something had betrayed their trust. 

And then they realized, hey, this phenomenon feels really familiar. Nowadays, it seems like any system people might have put their trust into in the past (e.g., our political system; the criminal justice system; our lousy, broken health care system, etc.) is willing to betray that trust whenever it suits their needs. 

Eventually it dawned on them that if a phenomenon really is so common and widespread, surely there must be a name for it. It turns out there is: it’s called Institutional Betrayal, and it might be one of the many factors contributing to the depression and anxiety epidemics in America. 

BUT! It doesn’t have to be. It turns out with a problem like this, naming the source of your distress can bring you closer to healing, and deciding whether you want to mourn what is lost, move on with your life, or fight back (non-violently). Marcus shares these lessons and more in this very special episode. 

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Esme’s back! And within the first few minutes of the episode, she confirms that: a) she’s doing what she needs to to take care of herself, b) Marcus is not a psychopath, and c) Canada’s worst export is the thistle weed which bears that proud country’s name.

Marcus and Esme also discuss the amount of mental bandwidth required to make appropriate preparations for the Halloween season, and an upcoming intervention Esme has planned to help the family manage their interior space better. Marcus briefly muses upon the value of adding a neurotypical person to the household, but immediately disavows the idea, knowing that the three current neurodivergent members of the house would make that person’s life a living hell. 

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Marcus is flying solo on this episode while Esme practices self-care. Today’s topic: Do people with adhd perform better under pressure?

Spoiler alert: Yes, we do. However, this is very much one of those “double-edged sword” issues. Sometimes, being great at something is a real challenge if that talent takes a physical and mental toll on our health and well-being. 

So in this episode, Marcus explains why people with ADHD are so good at performing under pressure, discusses the related health risks, and identifies a handful of strategies people with ADHD can use to trigger some of the motivating impulses associated with high stress scenarios without exposing ourselves to actual risks. 

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Marcus and Esme readily admit they are not perfect parents, but they do feel like they got at least one thing more or less right. They always prized, valued, and enjoyed time spent reading to their daughter. Eventually, their daughter learned to read on her own and, like most voracious readers, began to prize the time she spent reading to herself. While Marcus and Esme were proud of their girl’s reading skills and independence, both of them miss the simple joys of reading to their favorite small-ish person. 

However, Esme recently found two books from different series she used to read to their daughter. And, surprise of all surprises, was delighted to learn her daughter wanted to continue the tradition of reading them together. For his part, Marcus is happy for the both of them, but he laments his daughter's lack of interest in completing one of their shared book series: The Baby-Sitters Club. Marcus very much wants to know how it ends and would like to experience that with his daughter, but he’s kept those feelings bottled up inside. He’s such a Mary Anne in that way.

For his part, Marcus shares the joys, pains, contradictions, and ethical dilemmas of being a football fan. His favorite team is doing well, which is good, so he should be happy. However, his joy is tempered by the fact that Lane Johnson, one of the league’s best players, suddenly announced he is retiring this week, citing family needs and his own mental health challenges as his rationale. Johnson is someone who has been very open about his struggles with depression over the years, so his decision makes sense. However, Johnson has also had issues with Performance Enhancing Drugs (PEDs) and has had at least four concussions in his career, both of which are strongly associated with an increased risk of developing depression and mood disorders. As such, he is certainly not the first (and he definitely won’t be the last) football player whose career, health, and mental well-being suffered as a result of the extremely high physical demands of the sport. 

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Marcus and Esme are alive and well and (mostly) disease free! To celebrate their newly recovered health and ADHD Awareness Month (Happy Hard, everyone!) they’ve decided to discuss ADHD treatment options. And not just any treatment options, mind you. They’ve decided to discuss the type of treatment options they usually don’t entertain. 

For you see, Marcus and Esme are big believers in the combined powers of therapy and medication when it comes to the treatment of ADHD and other mental health issues. And the reason* they believe in this multimodal approach is because it has worked for them. It has not always been easy, and their progress hasn’t always been forward. However, it has helped them improve their executive functioning capabilities, minimize their impulsivity and distractibility, and most of all, survive in a world that was not designed with neurodivergent people in mind.

Nevertheless,there are some compelling arguments out there for non-pharmacological treatments, and so Marcus and Esme have decided to share some of these with you, their beloved listeners, and to do so with an open mind This feat proved easier for their discussions about neurotechnology treatments, and treatments related to diet and gut health. However, their discussion of treatments related to the theory that ADHD is not a real condition was predictably triggering, so they fell short of their “fair and unbiased” goals there. 

*Note: Contrary to conspiratorial opinions, Marcus and Esme are not shills for, nor suckling at the teat of, Big Pharma. If they were, they would load their faces up with filler, install a green screen in their basement, and elevate this podcast to video so fast your head would spin. Heck, their heads might spin. There would be no discernable change to their faces though, as they would be packed to the brim with filler (as previously mentioned).

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In this week's Hyperfocus Bonus, Marcus and Esme pitch ideas to spice up ADHD awareness month. Then, Marcus identifies a plot hole in the 1990-something thriller The Fugitive, and Esme demands an end to the pumpkin spice- and apple cinnamon-bombardment of peoples’ olfactory senses during the fall season.

Happy Hard, everyone!

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Sickness has descended on the O’Kayvious household again, and this time Marcus and Esme are both down for the count. However, because they felt like they could use a shot of something fun and enjoyable they decided to replay their episode about whimsy from earlier this year. 

Join Marcus and Esme as they discuss whimsy, the rare social media trend that doesn’t seem to want to kill us. Marcus and Esme discuss why the trend has taken off, and whether or not there is any hard, scientific evidence to suggest that it might be a good thing (spoiler alert: believe it or not, there kinda’ is). They also share some of the whimsical interests and activities that bring a little fun to their lives, encourage straight guys to give whimsy a chance (it might actually encourage women to choose you and not the bear), and encourage listeners to not overthink whimsy, because then it won’t be whimsical anymore. 

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