Crew of the Kahuna (full)

This Is A Show About Pirates

The crew returned to the ship. Tawny provided healing and informed the crew that he would soon be leaving to begin studying at SUK. Luckily, Rodney has been training to take his place, and no one really cared.

Patches visits his old home, and talks with Neelix. Neelir stresses how bad it would be for him to rejoin with Neela and become Neelo. Patches returns to the ship, and drops a bombshell: Captain Fitzclyde killed Patches father. Fitzclyde admits to the murder, saying that Patches daddy was mutineer.

It's Not A Party Till Something Burns

Squish and Lady High Hill were tied up. Djuckles and Patches had to do something. Cult members were closing in.

Finally Soemthing Interesting

The crew took time to read the backstory on Neelix, and the short of it is this: Neelix is one half of an all powerful evil demon. Should he be combined with his other half, Neela, bad things would happen.

Got it? Good.

Squish, satisfied he had received all the answers he needed, wanted to leave the party at once. Djuckles was more concerned about finding his girlfriend, who had mysteriously disappeared. He found Evelyn, but she was no help.

Squish decided to enter the hedge maze.

Djuckles and Patches wandered the party for a long time, talking to more party guests. They got the sense that something weird was going to happen at the after party, and everyone was thinking orgy.

Squish continued in the hedge maze.

Finally, Patches and Djuckles talked to Chef Roselle, and she directed them to the basement.

Squish came to the center of the hedge maze.

In the basement, Patches could sense an ominous presence. Squish reached the center of the maze, where Evelyn was there, she promptly knocked Squish out.

Lore Dump!

The crew is dressed and ready to party.

They rickshawed up to the Bouquet Manor, where the party was being held. Their invitation was accepted without question, and they were happy things were going, for once, their way.

Djcukles met up wtih Lady High Hill, but their reunion was quickly stymied when Evelyn also showed up. Squish was asked to run interference. He did not. He stomped into the house and demanded to speak to their hostess, Madame Bouquet. Instead, he was put in his place (aka, the kitchens) and met Chef Roselle. He managed to sneak his way upstairs, to begin looking for answers to the strange mystery.

At the party, Djuckles managed to distract Evelyn by asking her to look for the library. He explained her presence as a "nurse" and planned that the two should talk as little as possible. Eventually, he too made his way upstairs. Patches, having glanced at the Madame Bouquet, was enamored, and is now trying to talk her up.

Unfortunately, Evelyn was in the library when Patches and Squish and Lady High Hill entered. Patches and Squish made a grand plan to keep the two seperate, but when they returned, both girls were missing. However, they did find the missing pages of the book revealing Neelix's true nature. Now the crew must read and understand what they're reading. They should also find their dates, and try to escape before things get weird.

Epaullets Is A Fun Word

The Junkfort boys took some time to recoup and think about their plan for the Garden Party and catch up with the rest of the crew. Tawny was still waiting for his acceptance letter. The newest intern, Rodeny, revealed he had a twin brother named lodney. Patches still vehemently hates Captain Fitzclyde.

In the morning, the crew fust went to a fine costume shop to pick up some new clothes for the party. After a long convoluted plot of following people leaving the show, knocking them out, stealing their costumes, then returning to the shop to steal their nice clothes, they decided to abandon the whole thing and go somewhere else.

They met Taylor, a tailor, who could provide some clothes. After being negged about his marriage, he agreed to make suits in return for an invite to the party. Djuckles, in some of his finest tinkering yet, forged a nearly identical copy of the invitation and gave it to Taylor. In return, he promised to make their suits. Djuckles bought a fine suit in red velvet with a tasteful caplet. Squish, who is colorblind, chose a magenta brocade for his suit, and Patches ordered a black pirate themed outfit, with a cape, frocked, and epaulettes all around.

Now it's the evening of the garden party, and the crew it dolled up, ready to go. What will they find in LockPort's high society? Will they get the answers they seek about Neelix's origins, or will they cause chaos? Can Djuckles handle two dates, or will Squish's crush turn the love triangle into a love four-angle?

This Doubles As Toliet Paper

Our crew was trapped! Djuckles and Squish faced slow moving zombies, formally bullies that Squish shot in the butt. Patches unwittingly assisted lam Mazeran who said he was creating a "cure." In reality; Mazeran recognized the Junk crew, and had been told a mysterious "she" to kill them. His cure turned the slow zombies into fast, aggressive zombies.

Patches was able to reach one of the boy's soul and turn him to their side. Djuckles threw a flying elbow; and then a gnarly judo chop. Squish struggled to get a good shot off, but managed at the last minute to turn the tides of the fight. Tam Mazeran managed to escape.

The crew, now with their boy soul Rodney, left the university: They met Evelyn outside the gate, who was surprised to see them in one piece. She learned of their plan to infiltrate the LockPort Garden Party, and invited herself as Djuckles' date. Back on the ship, a message was waiting for Djuckles. Lady Highill, Djuckle's long distance girlfriend and Squish's secrer crush, was planning on vising LockPort, and planned on attending the LockPort Garden Party: The boys now have to dress to impress! Will they spend time gaining information on the LockPort Garden Party? Will they track down lam Mazeran? Will this be the shopping episode?

Not Another Cult!

The crew met Evelyn at Jorge's. First, they ordered a culinary masterpiece of jellybeans, milk steaks, saganaki and cheese steaks. Then, they offered to grade her papers while she told them what she knew.

While the information was juicy, their meal was not. Squish went into the kitchen to complain, and reunited with Chef Roselle. Former owner of the Golden Plume, she had left Dskovol after Baz's death and Squish's sudden disappearance. Remembering her former chef's talent, Roselle asked Squish to continue working at the restaurant. Squish remained aloof, as ever:

They were able to sneak back on campus, and using some well- placed bushes, avoid being seen by the guards. They found Tam Mazeran's office. They found packing lists from The Lockport Garden Club, and invitation to a Garen Party held later this season. They entered the laboratory, and heard the shuffling of three zombified bullies.

Not Another Cult!

The crew met up with Tawny and DeeDee, and returned back to the ship. Although heavily ticketed, the ship was free from the current gaze of the LockPort Port Authority.

Squish felt an overwhelming amount of guilt from his vicious, brutal attack on the three SUK bullies. He decided to visit the Temple of the Downward Dog. While bent over, he had a sudden epiphany and was filled with love for Lady High Hill, Djuckles long-distance girlfriend.

Djuckles and Patches had a momentary heart-to- heart between the pages of the book. Djuckles revealed his insecurities around his reading level, and Patches express his desire for closeness with his co-captain.

He's going to need all the charm he can get, because the crew is on their way to meet up with Everlyn Neb, a TA at SUK who promised to know more information on the mysterious cabal who want Neelix. Will they finally get some answers? Will Djuckles and Squish come to blows over Lady High Hill? Will they enjoy the saganaki?

Dear Maman,

Well Maman, I'm back in the big city.

My bosses (three, or maybe four of them?) ditched me and the monkey in LockPort. We have been seeing the sites, and taking into the delicious food.

We heard about a horrible attack at a local school. A crazy gunman popped some local bullies in the butt.

Now my bosses have come back, and send that someone named Wester Vale was useless, but that they've got a date with a real "cutie patootie" later tonight.

Enclosed in me and the monkey.

Love,

PS: DeeDee says ook

Not Another Cult!

Our gang of ne'er-do-wells started the day off with a little shopping. Squish haggled for a hat that would give him a boost at sneaking around. After a bit of back and forth, a price was agreed upon, and that promised ready by the next day.

The crew then decided to check out one of the nearby temple, the Ecclestia Gnostica. This church was dedicated to the written word. Squish and Patches decided to sneak about. Djuckles, never one to join a crowd, immediately got suckered into attending service.

Upstairs, Squish and Patches stumbled on the temples archaic organizational system, the card catalog. They searched Neelix's name, and found a book with his name mentioned. Patches was able to sneak the book, but his greed got the better of him, and he interrupted the sick poetry reading.

Squish quickly snuck out the front and distracted the incoming garda. Djuckles distracted the angry congregation with his bongos and a mean judo chop. Patches ran like hell, and they were able to take cover at the quaint Tia Jacquelines.