Kayleigh Ruller is a NYC-based food writer and digital creator with words in Eater, Food & Wine, and Condé Nast Traveler. She works full time as a brand manager at Ovation Network. In this episode Kayleigh and I run it back to our UCLA meet cute. We discuss how Kayleigh carved her creative niche postgrad and our respective creative practices. What happens when all the energy you would put towards a romantic crush goes elsewhere? Listen to find out.

* “A Surfer, the Ocean and a Pas de Deux Born on the Waves,” Gia Kourlas for NYTimes

* Scrapbooking

* This is the Only Kingdom by Jaquira Díaz (I have only read one book all month and that’s how you know the surf is up)

* “NeoNeo Surf Rethinks the Wetsuit Afterlife,” Phebe Whal for Modern Luxury

* Channel Islands Feb’s Fish (obsessed)

Buddies:

* Honeypot: the team was kind enough to send me some of their products to try! I am especially loving their sensitive skin line, their nighttime routine line & their organic lube (strawberry flavored for extra fun lol). Anyone with a vagina should have access to their organic pads, tampons and care products.

* The Hinge Team gifted me Hinge premium and I have been loving it so much. Reasons Hinge Premium is worth it:

* Filter by political affiliation (for my liberal queens)

* Your likes at the top (more matches with hotties)

* Seeing everyone who likes you at the same time (don’t need to waste time flipping through likes, just match who you want)

* Unlimited likes (sit on your couch on Sunday and maxx before Monday)

* Neo Neo Surf: I just wrapped an incredible photoshoot with Neo Neo surf, a woman owned and operated company that repurposes used neoprene into items for use. As a surfer, it’s important to me to recycle any old wetsuits I have because neoprene does not break down organically. I snagged a laptop sleep made of repurposed wetsuit material and I can’t wait to use it to carry my computer back and forth to school in the fall.

Crushing Personal Ads August 2026:

* 25F, Los Angeles based, and 5’8 so I’ll know if you’re actually 5’10. Writer and comedian, looking for a guy to riff with, add on Goodreads, and share clothes with

* 23F, EU/UK/US working rights. Global citizen in the unironic way. Tall and blonde and certified sommelier. looking for a someone to drink wine, eat cheese, and have 6-8 children with. WLM in Madrid / Bangkok.

* 31F, NYC based MFA student by day, real estate mogul by night. Long, lean and maybe a little mean? Looking for a guy with taste. Books. Apartments. Shoes. Clothes. Must love dogs, roller blading & Central Park. Put a ring on it before it’s too late.

Anyone interested?

What’s Next on the Substack?

* Read my latest essay, “Long Live the Short King.” What do you think? Is the term “short king” subversive or derogatory or both?

* I’m turning 25 in 2 weeks & I got wisdom to share about 25 years on this planet. Happy Virgo Season!

* Are you interested in doing a video interview for the podcast?

Some Housekeeping:

I will be supporting myself after graduating my MFA program this year. I am going to be charging $5/month for paid subscriptions to this Substack or $50/year to help make that transition to writing full time. Here’s what a paid subscription to this Substack includes:

* My monthly personal essays will remain free, but they will become paywalled after 2 months.

* e.g. if you want to read “Ben from Hinge,” you will need to become a paid subscriber

* Crushing Podcast episodes will remain free, but I will introduce a paywall after 2 months.

* Access to collaborations with other creatives will be for paid subscribers going forward.

* e.g. Tide2Table NYC, Sarah Cortina

* I am launching short form Reel/TikTok-style video content supplemented with brief anecdotes across verticals, beginning with Crushing it as a Creative.

* To receive emails with new posts from these new sections, you will need to upgrade your subscription to paid.

* You will also need to pay to comment

Thank you so much for your support over the past four years on Substack. I can’t believe I’ve been doing this for that long! I know some of you have been around since I had just about 100 subscribers. If there is any other serialized content you’d like to see, don’t be a stranger :) To receive new posts from all Crushing verticals and to support my transition from graduate school to professional life, consider becoming a paid subscriber

Crushing is a reader-supported publication. To support my transition to writing full-time, consider becoming a paid subscriber.

Welcome back to the Crushing Podcast. It felt right to have my amazing, hardworking mother on to kick us off. In this episode, we discuss double standards in dating, focusing on how men and women are asked different questions about their dating lives and how relationship status is used as a litmus test to gauge happiness. We’re trying to figure out ways to push back against the late stage capitalist trap of social media, to lean into friction, and to continue to cultivate community. Is getting off the couch and going to the bar the answer? A long drive from the city to Montauk? Skipping the fundraiser dinner to get on the phone with an old friend?

Subscribe for free to receive new posts. Upgrade to paid for access to the complete archive.

Some Housekeeping:

I am going to be charging $5/month for paid subscriptions to this Substack or $50/year. Here’s what a paid subscription to this Substack includes:

* My monthly personal essays will remain free, but they will become paywalled after 2 months.

* e.g. if you want to read “Ben from Hinge,” you will need to become a paid subscriber

* I am launching short form Reel/TikTok-style video content supplemented with brief anecdotes across verticals, beginning with my first 8-10 episode series this fall, “Crushing it as a Creative.” These mini series will be fully accessible to paid subscribers only.

* The Crushing Podcast will initially be included in the free subscription, but will become paywalled after 2 months.

To access the full archive and to support my transition from graduate school to professional life, consider becoming a paid subscriber

Got a personal Ad for August?

I want to hear from you!

* DM me. Let’s go get coffee <3

Crushing is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

For the last ever episode of Crushing, Alie and Liza of Missfits surf and yours truly talk surfer boys (we love to hate ‘em), being a twin, and being an entrepreneurial badass. Our advice? FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT. Put yourself out there and get in the ring. In love, in life you create your moment. Don’t wait. Try new s**t and get after it. There’s no  limit to how you perceive what you do. Yeah, we’re all insecure and we all doubt ourselves and what other people think of us. It’s hard to figure out who you are in this big blue world. BUT do what feels good. Do it 4 u. And when you are your authentic self, people will notice. And if they don’t like u, then let them go!!!!

Crushing x Withitgirl Talkabout it Collab #2

It was a blast to sit down with Withitgirl’s Violet Reed and to learn about Violet’s zine, Bucky Fan Zine. In this episode, Violet and I chat about how social media has impacted alternative culture, and how alternative culture has been changed, yet stayed the same nonetheless. Violet’s advice to her middle school self? Keep crushing! There’s more on the horizon.

PS Its no surprise that Violet has the most epic playlist to accompany our conversation. Just press play.

@buckyfanzine on Instagram! 

Join me and Rebekah Harris from @shipwreckmontauk as we delve into the craft of jewelry making, dating, and finding yourself through trial and error. When I walked into her store looking for something to remember Montauk by I wouldn't believe I am where I am now. Rebekah and I met when I was 17, and in this episode we dish about all the good stuff four years later. 

Check out Rebekah's craft using this link. 

P.S. New Substack post coming this Monday...

Great rap with fellow UCLA student and singer-songwriter Sophia Bacino. In this episode Sophia and I discuss how she first got into music, the power of moving into your most authentic self and the challenges that come with it. We also talk about how we've matured in the past couple years and the magic that happens when you get creative and honor what feels good. This episode includes Sophia's sister songs My Old Self Could Love You and If I Dwell, both available on Spotify. Tune in to hear us discuss the creative process behind each of them. 

You can find Sophia on Instagram @sophia.jo 

This is the season premiere and the first episode of Crushing's collaboration with Withitgirl's podcast Talkaboutit. I had the pleasure of sitting down with Beth O’Rourke last week for the first episode of the collab. Beth’s crushing on the mystery of existence & I’m proud to have her take me on a journey through new discoveries in this interview. Check out my write-up on the new collaboration and the future of Crushing on the Withitgirl website. 

OR Just Showing Up

Press play to hear me dish about COVID drama, the male beauty standard, being a year older than I was, the rad summer ahead, and what's in store for Crushing. 

@crushing.radio on Insta! 

This episode's playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1DHL3VhwSaSr5mDfFyxIdX?si=531f290af49e4ebc

Past 3 Substack posts: 

1. Prank! Show's Over Folks: https://crushing.substack.com/p/prank-shows-over-folks?s=w

2. Spit Sisters: https://crushing.substack.com/p/from-the-water-reborn?s=w

3. Guest Post: Y2K Mania & Micro-aesthetics: https://crushing.substack.com/p/guest-post-y2k-mania-and-micro-aesthetics?s=w

Subscribe to Substack using this link: https://crushing.substack.com/p/coming-soon?s=w