In this episode, we are talking about love. Not the mushy, romantic kind of love. But Real Love - how to love when it’s hard or less obvious; how to love when we don’t agree; how to love in the face of so much division and oppression.
And we are turning to the incredibly wise Sharon Salzberg, meditation master and and best-selling author. Sharon has been teaching Metta meditation, or loving kindness, since 1974. She’s been seminal, not just in bringing meditation and mindful practice to the west, but in modernizing the practice, making it relatable and accessible. Her latest book, Real Love, does just that. In our conversation, we tackle everything from loving our enemies to empathy burn-out to befriending our inner critic and to voting as an act of love.
If this episode resonates for you, we’d love for you to take a screenshot and tag us on Instagram stories @ctznwell and @sharonsalzberg, and click below to tweet:
“Real Love is not about letting yourself off the hook. Real love does not encourage you to ignore your problems or deny your mistakes or imperfections. You see them clearly & still opt for love.” @sharonsalzberg on #CTZN Podcast with @kkellyyoga @ctznwell ctznwell.org/ctznpodcast
More about this episode:
Sharon’s book really challenged my ideas about love, especially given the state of the world. It’s hard to love people who are perpetuating harm and separation. But if I’m being honest, I equally struggle with loving myself. And whenever I’d hear or read about self love, I’d roll my eyes. It just seemed impossible to me. Instead I had my own flavor of love - one that was conditional and perfectionist. A perspective, I realize, that is not very different from the culture of scarcity and supremacy that is profiting off of the idea that love or worthiness must be earned; that one must be “good enough” to get or give love.
But that’s not what Sharon is talking about. Instead, she offers a more complex and inclusive perspective on real love. She says: “Real Love is not about letting yourself off the hook. Real love does not encourage you to ignore your problems or deny your mistakes or imperfections. You see them clearly and still opt for love.”
Love has the capacity to exist beyond difference and division, beyond imperfections and mistakes. And when we understand real love for ourselves, we can understand it for others - especially when it’s hard. What Sharon is teaching, and what I’m learning for myself, is that love, too, is a practice.
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