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⚠️ Content & Trigger Warning

This episode discusses domestic violence, intimate partner violence, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, coercive control, and trauma responses. No graphic details are used, but the topic itself may be heavy or activating. If at any point this feels overwhelming, it is completely okay to pause, step away, or skip this episode. Your well-being comes first.

In “Cupid Has Me in a Chokehold,” Sarah and Crystal take a deep, compassionate, and research-informed look at why domestic violence is so complex — and why leaving is often the most dangerous time.

Rather than asking “Why didn’t they just leave?” this episode asks better questions:
What is happening in the nervous system? What does the research actually show? And how do trauma, attachment, fear, finances, children, and safety risks shape survivors’ decisions?

You’ll hear a clear explanation of what domestic violence really is — including emotional abuse, psychological abuse, financial control, isolation, and coercive control, not just physical violence. The hosts unpack current statistics from the CDC, Department of Justice, and National Institute of Justice to show that abuse is common, patterned, and most often committed by someone the survivor knows well.

The conversation also explores:

• Why abuse usually begins wrapped in love, not fear
• Why survivors often don’t identify their experiences as “violence”
• Why separation is statistically the most dangerous time
• How trauma bonding and intermittent reinforcement keep people attached
• How PTSD, dissociation, and survival responses affect decision-making
• Why shame, isolation, and fear of retaliation silence many survivors
• How abuse impacts the brain and nervous system over time
• Why healing is a process — not a moment

🚨 Support & Crisis Resources

If this episode brought up difficult feelings — or if you are currently experiencing abuse — you do not have to navigate this alone. You do not need to be in immediate danger to reach out.

National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.) — 24/7, confidential

• 📞 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
• 📱 Text START to 88788
• 🌐 thehotline.org
   (Support, safety planning, and resources — no pressure to leave.)

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (U.S.)

• 📞 Call or text 988
• 🌐 988lifeline.org
   (You do not have to be suicidal to use this service.)

StrongHearts Native Helpline (U.S.)

• 📞 1-844-7NATIVE (1-844-762-8483)
• 🌐 strongheartshelpline.org

Love Is Respect (Dating Violence)

• 📞 1-866-331-9474
• 📱 Text LOVEIS to 22522
• 🌐 loveisrespect.org

RAINN (Sexual Violence Support)

• 📞 800-656-HOPE (4673)
• 🌐 rainn.org

Victim Connect Resource Center

• 📞 1-855-4-VICTIM (1-855-484-2846)
• 🌐 victimconnect.org

If you are outside the U.S.:
Find local confidential support at findahelpline.com.

If you are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number.

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