I don’t know about you, but when I was the last one still single in my group of friends, I didn’t feel particularly blessed. Then, when I found myself divorced in my forties, it sure didn’t feel like God had just bestowed some great blessing upon me. In fact, I felt cursed – cursed, abandoned, and forgotten by God – doomed to be alone forever. Anybody out there feeling me?

Doomed to Die Alone

I have a feeling I’m not alone in feeling I would die alone or in feeling I was somehow defective and could never succeed at marriage. I felt doomed to live the rest of my life alone, die alone, and never experience the reciprocal, intimate, lifelong love I always craved.

Of course, in reality, the odds of it ending up that way are pretty slim. In fact, you probably have about the same odds of that happening as winning a lottery jackpot worth hundreds of millions of dollars. But, for some reason, we don’t lie awake at night thinking about that minuscule possibility. Instead, we dwell on the bad things that could happen.

The good news is that it’s not up to random chance whether you die alone. You have a lot more influence over that than you do over whether you win the lottery. It’s a lot more difficult to die alone if you spend your time and energy developing relationships and learning to be more attractive. So, instead of worrying about it, take steps to make it even more unlikely than it already is.

Hexed to Third Wheel Hell

Do you ever feel like people are giving you sympathy invites? Does it seem like everyone else is coupled up everywhere you go? Are you tired of hearing everyone else talk about their spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, or fiancée? Welcome to third wheel hell.

First off, even if you are invited out of sympathy, sympathy invitations are still better than no invitations at all and sitting home alone every night. Secondly, don’t assume people invite you out of sympathy. There’s always the possibility that they actually like you, enjoy your company, and like having you around.

Of course, it still wreaks that everyone else around you is paired up and you’re not. I get it – been there, done that. But, it’s still good to be among friends rather than sitting home alone. Just don’t make that your only social interaction. Get out and hang around some good quality single friends too. And, get out and meet new people every chance you get.

Also, the statistics say that, if want to, you probably will get married at some point. This whole third wheel thing is probably a temporary situation – even if it’s gone on longer than you hoped.

Cursed by My Creator

As a Christian, I also wondered whether God still loved or cared about me. I questioned whether I had committed some unpardonable sin that caused God to curse me with eternal singleness. Or, I wondered if God kept women away from me to protect them from some flaw deep within me.

Yes, I actually had those thoughts. I could probably go back and look through my journal and show you places where I expressed those things.

If you are feeling cursed by God, I let me assure you that you are not. The Bible is full of passages that tell us things like: His eyes are always searching the Earth for people He can show Himself strong for (2 Chronicles 16:9), and taste and see that The Lord is good (Psalms 34:8), and He rewards people who diligently seek after Him (Hebrews 11:6).

So,