It's over! We're done! We made it! All seventeen plots come to a satisfying fruition. Dirk Pitt uses his Boyscout skills to roast men alive. Giordino pulls a Jesse James. Eva Rojas becomes bored of golf. Massarde acquires a taste for doctors. Kazim doesn't know how to drive a stick shift. Abraham Lincoln's ears survive the Reconstruction. Another case of boys will be boys. Join us in a couple weeks for our mega-exclusive coverage of the hot new Hollywood Cussler film, Sahara!

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 Just when he gets out, they pull him back in... to the Sahara! The top United Nations black ops kill team escorts Pitt and Giordino back to Tebezza, with sexy results. St Julien Perlmutter busts into the story like the Kool-Aid Man. Eva Rojas hopes you won't think she's wanton. Our heroes become forklift certified. Melika dies with dignity. Kitty Mannock finished her stroll.

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"Unfortunately, this part is really well-written". Do you like dehydration? Starvation? Exhaustion? Pastoral lithography? Then have we got an episode for YOU. Nancy shares some fun facts about mass suicide events. Topper is an assault to aerodynamics. Giordino throws in the towel. Sandecker says to never tell him the odds. Melika is going to get reprimanded at the office. Pitt finds the prettiest corpse in Africa. This episode is brought to you by Renault.

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Dirk and Al bravely escape their captors... and are then almost immediately recaptured when they break into the high-security inescapable fortress of villainy. Honestly, they should have seen this coming. Sandecker convinces the President using only facts and logic. Massarde is reminded that billions of dollars won't actually protect you from a bullet. Our heroes take in an unexpected donkey show. Gunn flies first class. Ismail Yerli spots a red-breasted nuthatch. Train good, car dead.

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Dirk Pitt finally runs into something he truly didn't expect and cannot handle: a villain who knows more than he does! Hala Kamil's rebound dooms the planet. Al Giordino takes one on the crotch. Sandecker has to make Sophie's Choice for dumbasses. Eva and Hopper discover the only thing worse than North African warlords... white capitalists. On the plus side, we discover a fuel-efficient automobile that's comfortable and luxurious on and off the road!

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BREAKING! A once-in-a-century weather event happened again, making recording this week logistically impossible. So, to tide everyone over, here is the REMIXED AND REMASTERED Season 1 of Cussler Hustlers, The Mediterranean Caper in its entirety! Well, not COMPLETELY in its entirety... the biggest digressions, wanderings, meanderings, off-topic diatribes and pet noises have been removed. But the sound quality has been dramatically improved, where possible. This will keep you company while you're waiting in line at the Walgreens for half a roll of toilet paper and a jug of gin, or whatever it is you Americans do with your weekends. 

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At last, the Promise of the Premise had arrived! Major characters arrive in the desert, but unfortunately they miss out on all the searing hot cannibal-on-cannibal action. Our nominal heroes successfully complete A Science, and are immediately ensnared by the unfortunately competent military forces of a corrupt West African warlord. Pitt takes his ball and goes home. Giordino tries to add a blonde to his collection. Rudi utilizes his Treadstone training. A French billionaire is forced to accept long distance charges.

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Our saga continues with... meetings! Dinner dates! Evil conferences! Sweaty detente! Political palaver! It's... it's... ok, it's kind of a lot of exposition, but we paused right before West Africa explodes into nightmarish violence absolutely not instigated by a couple of white men who don't know how to ask politely. Dirk refuses the call to action. Giordino gets black pilled. Eva is concerned about her lower GI tract. Sandecker is above the left-right paradigm. General Kazim doesn't know how to ask for a raise.

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IT BEGINS! Sahara, the long-awaited start to the Modern Pitt Era. Not one, not two, but THREE prologues set the stage for a mystery that seems... well, not that mysterious, to be honest. They basically tell us directly who the bad guy is, and what the evil plot is, but there's so many unanswered questions floating around and it's clear Clive is having a blast. Marvel at the competent story structure! Gasp in awe at the nearly-respectful way Eva Rojas is introduced! You'll be on the edge of your seat at the accurate exploration of North African colonial history! Just ignore Zencaster's technical incompetence and strap in for a wild ride!

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A much delayed Pitt Stop this week! Nancy was originally going to host a How It's Made about adhesives, but she got pulled down a new hyperfixation during her research, so MOST of this week's episode is about Diseases That Present As Madness! Get ready to get bummed out about rare diseases, and HOPEFULLY excited for all the great advancements being made in the medical world! In an episode that's apparently all tangents, we also ramble about kismet, destiny, pregnancy and free college. Join us or else, won't you?

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