Cycling Odysseys

“So, how did the UAE team fair on their first real day of ever trying to control the Tour de France for their leader of leaders Tadej Pogacar? In my opinion, I must say they had the worst control of the day I have ever seen from the leading GC team. But in their defense: They were dealt one of the most unconventional scripts ever—because it was written by the Mighty Aces who tear up all scripts and convention.”

"For the entire next fortnight with the intensity of a wartime coast guard, we are now on watch. Not for enemy fleets, submarines, or armadas of fighter jets and bombers; no, the entirety of the cycling world is now on Record Watch.”

“So how would this Tour fare with the first reintroduction of a proper first week Time Trial for more than a decade?”

“Our hopes were dashed. And yet, within 10 seconds, before the brutal realism of cycling—which functions as a microcosm of human reality—painted upon us the grayest of bleak gray worldviews imaginable…a kaleidoscope of vibrant color and hope jarringly shattered that drab premature assumption of “reality” better than any Hollywood movie script ever could! My beloved J.R.R. Tolkien would call this a moment of eucatastrophe.”

“Ah! Ah! It is so cruel to see how brutal this sport can be. A whole season built around this race, and within an instant it ends in complete sorrow. Yes, yes, I think this would be the appropriate time to utter the cliché for the one and only time this Tour: Today was not a day you could win the Tour, but you sure could lose it.”

“Yes, yes, with all the Bonus Seconds available on both the passages of this Mur-de-Bretagne, the nudge theory went off with out a hitch. And who was bold enough to kick things off from long range? Why, of course, the Madman who always loves to kick things off from long range.”

“Julian Alaphilippe the Musketeer, one of the top showmen of the sport among this great generation of audacious and theatric racers, was on the attack at the Tour de France in a quest for the Yellow Jersey once more. For much of the season the Mighty Aces have bested him in finishes such as these, but here today at the greatest race in all the world, on home soil, in the World Champion’s Jersey, even the Mighty Aces hadn’t a prayer to stop the Mighty Musketeer Julian Alaphilippe.”

The 2021 Tour de France is upon us and it is the most traditional appearing route for a generation. How shall the Slovenians fair? What can the entire Ineos Grenadiers do to combat these top men? What of the sprints? What of the rivalry between the Mighty Aces--from the mud-pits of cyclocross now they shall clash at the biggest cycling race in the world in front of hundreds of millions. There is a lot to be excited for this Tour, let us dive in.

To see the news made my day, while it made Egan's life. I try to explain why throughout this episode.

We discuss the Tour de Suisse, the Baloise Belgium Tour, and the Tour of Slovenia from this week. We push back discussion of a last significant event later this week to its own episode.