Mark "Hawkeye" Louis has done the morning show on 96.3 KSCS for more than 30 years. He is radio royalty in North Texas. He's also a runner who has been involved with the BMW Dallas Marathon (this year on December 11) for more than a decade, which is how we got to talking about his nipples and the best way to protect them on long runs. We also talked about jeans, stand-up comedy, why radio stations still broadcast traffic news, and the ship of Theseus paradox. Be forewarned: he swears exactly once in this episode of EarBurner. If you have children, consider abandoning them at a fire station.

Ken is the guitarist for the Old 97's, which is about to celebrate its 30th year together. The man himself is about to turn 60. We talk about his plans for outliving his bandmates, why he owns more than 400 board games, why high school kids don't cruise anymore, and whether Peter Billingsley is actually a gun nut. Oh, and one more thing: we talk about how the band came to star in The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special, which begins streaming on Disney+ on November 25. That last thing seems important. Almost forgot to mention it.

Mark is the architecture critic for the Dallas Morning News and a two-time EarBurner guest. We invited him on to talk about a new plan for Dealey Plaza that he has concocted with some of his smart friends. Mark says the space has become tawdry, and we need to prioritize people over their cars. We also talk about whether Dallas is still a "can do" city, why the Mavericks should rethink their branding design, and our favorite movies ever filmed in Dallas. To prepare yourself for this episode, please first watch this trailer for the 1988 action comedy sexploitation thriller It Takes Two. You won't regret it. 

Julie wrote the young adult novel Dumplin' that became the 2018 Jennifer Aniston movie of the same title. Now she's branching out into some spicy romance with her new book, A Merry Little Meet Cute, about a pornstar who is cast in a wholesome Christmas movie. It's funny. It's raunchy. It's perfect for the season. We talk about whether she is the most famous living person from Arlington, why the water tastes bad in Dalworthington Gardens, if Dolly Parton (who wrote the music for Dumplin') might have sleeve tattoos, and her friend who has hypnagogic hallucinations. Also, she attempts to recall as many euphemisms for genitalia as she can in 30 seconds. 

Melissa is the new head of the journalism program at SMU, a job she took without telling Tim, despite their 30-year friendship. So that was the first matter that had to be addressed. Then we talked about kids today and how screens are ruining their lives—and ours. And why Zac frequently got lost in the office when he worked for American Airlines. And the downside to driving a Ford Maverick. And Bob Costas' teeth.

For the October issue of D Magazine, Kathy Wise, our executive editor, wrote a story that's getting national attention. It is titled "The Most Lawless County in Texas." That, friends, would be Collin County. Read the story here, and then listen to how it all came together. We also talk about the time Kathy nearly died in Toledo, and Tim tells a story about his wife that will probably get him in trouble.

Creuzot was elected the Dallas County District Attorney in a landslide in 2018, taking 60 percent of the votes from his opponent, Faith Johnson. The two are squaring off again, with Johnson this time peddling what Creuzot calls bogus QAnon numbers about crime in Dallas County. So this episode is about politics. But it's also about Creuzot growing up in Houston, toiling in the kitchen of his family's restaurant, Frenchy's Chicken, and his memories of his first job out of SMU law school, working for the cigar-chewing Henry Wade. Also, we talk about weed.

Bonus episode not available on dmagazine.com! For subscribers only! James mentioned in the normal episode that he has been in three car chases in his life. He tells the story of each one, with gratuitous F-bombs from Tim.

James is the artistic director for the Dallas International Film Festival. That means he watches about 600 movies every year. It also means that he has a great story about a wild night with Harry Dean Stanton (R.I.P.). We also talked about what happened to him when, as a kid, he saw E.T. fives times in row and the odd interaction he had one time in a hotel room with Joan Jett when they were both working on a episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. Oh, and we talked about some of his favorite films that will screen at DIFF 2022.

In 1994, The Ticket launched in Dallas with a lineup largely assembled by Mike Rhyner, thereby creating a radio format—guy sports talk—that would be copied around the country. Mike ended his 40-year radio career with a retirement in January 2020. Except not quite. The Old Grey Wolf is returning to the airwaves on 97.1, which has been rebranded The Freak. We talk about who convinced him to come out of retirement, how to fix the Cowboys, what made him move out of downtown Dallas after living there for a decade, and why you're never too old to wing it.