This week on Idiot of the Week, we bring you a lineup of contenders so astoundingly foolish, you'd think they were competing for a lifetime supply of bad decisions.

First, meet Valerie—the miniature dachshund thriving on the rugged terrain of Australia’s Kangaroo Island. While humans panic and search for her, she’s out here living her best life. Maybe the real idiots are the people who think she wants to be found.

Then, we ask the question: what’s dumber than a Cybertruck? Answer: stealing a Cybertruck Cyberbeast and then casually returning to the scene of the crime because you forgot your ID. Criminal mastermind? Not exactly.

Next up, the great Dalmatian Onesie Chase. Who’s more of an idiot—the man fleeing police while dressed like a discount Cruella de Vil sidekick or the officers who took over 24 hours to catch him? Tough call.

And finally, let’s talk workplace nightmares. Imagine being in charge of HR for a police department where the Chief has allegedly been pooping at random around the station and—wait for it—pulling pranks like inserting hypodermic needles into fellow officers’ penises. Because apparently, job descriptions now include “crisis management for biological hazards.”

Who will take home the prestigious title of Idiot of the Week? Tune in for the absurdity, stay for the relentless mockery.

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